You Stay with Me in Awareness - 21 April 2015

No, no. It's like whatever is here, it's like there's nothing, there's no reaction basically. I can't take your story seriously. Yes, it can be very irritating, I know this. She says that 'I want to say something which will get some sort of reaction from you,' which basically means that something which you will take seriously. But I can never believe that something is really happening to you. Then I'll be caught up in your story, then there is no value, and both of us should go to satsang somewhere together.

One who said that to reaction... migraine...

No, no. She's saying now like a child, like especially it's most irritating if I'm sitting there smiling and you're crying away. Sitting and smiling because we are not meeting at the level of bodies. I know that you're meeting as Being, as one Being, and ultimately we are the same awareness. So my smiling is actually provoking you to smile back, to remember, to remind you to laugh no matter what it is, because the mind wants us to take this stuff very seriously. So 'this is happening to me' and he's sitting there smiling. I know many of you have experienced this. So it can be, 'Oh, but I'm sharing something so serious and I'm crying, this happened, I had a migraine splitting, it felt like my head is going to explode,' and he's just smiling. Sometimes I might pretend to take it seriously. Both of us started taking it serious. I'm going swimming too. So if I was to take your story seriously, then what is the point of me being here?

I know there sometimes it comes. Aditi can be here only for a little while and then the work starts. Yes, I'm happy you could join, very good. Nik says it's funny when Father plays out the ego's voice. What do... how? It's like a deep bar that nothing can ever really happen to you. Ram also has to leave early because the little one came out. Wish him well, give him all my love. So today, last in this physical location at least for a while, so let's find out that if anything can really happen to you. Is something happening to you now? Let's start from there. So is breath happening to you, or breath is also seen? It's seen. And yet it is happening to you? Yes. So this sense of the 'me,' this one, let's change this one today. You say that 'I can see it, but also it feels like it's happening to me.' So let's find this 'me.' So follow your breath and see at what point it is happening to you and tell me whether it's happening to 'me' or whether it's just happening.

Yes, yes, yes. Okay, so let's start there. It feels like the breath is happening to the body.

Now, is the body happening to you? Is the body happening to you or you are just aware of it? What is the connection point between you and the body? And if it feels like there is something, don't deny it, just say, 'This is the connection point.' Where do you connect with the body? Is it in the hands?

I'm aware of all this information and some kind of attachment.

She's using the ego voice. She says it feels like if the body wouldn't be here, then I wouldn't be here. But now when you see that there is an awareness of this body, where does the body connect with you? Where does the body connect with this awareness?

Yes, yes. So it can seem like some energies are here in the heart region, sometimes it can feel like the head region.

And these energies are there, and the witness of these energies—where is this one? Because for too long we have presumed, just following this set of energies and believing that these energies are 'me.' But you are the witness of them. So where is the witness of them? Yeah, so 'there' and 'here' will vanish. Sense that there is 'there' and 'here' is 'here' will also vanish. So there can be strong energies which say that, seem to convey that you are the body. Where is the witness of that? Can we find this one also?

Occurred to me in your presence, all the questions that you ask, the answer is no.

The answer is no, not yes. Happily you can say that no. So who sees the energies? As I like to say, what color are the eyes of the one who sees inside?

Looking with my mind.

And what does this mind look like? Is it imagination, visualization of the mind, or just a concept?

Yes, yes, but those are the... that is the content.

The answers can come as visuals, but that is still the content of the appearance. Who is looking at even this content? This is very good, you see, because you say that the answers are also coming as some visuals or some paintings that the mind is painting, and everything that is seen, you are aware of it. So is this awareness also part of the content?

No, awareness is not part of the content.

Can it ever become so? Then how can a migraine happen to awareness?

Yes, but is... what are you in the body as what? Which part? Where exactly?

You see, that is like 'I'm in the left part of my head' or something, you know. Then who sees this also? Who sees the left part of the head? Is that also in the left part of the head? Because the answer is too simple for the mind to understand. All of us must see it like this: whatever the appearance might be, we cannot not just be the appearance. You must be the witnessing of it. Then no appearance can really bother you. And if something bothers you, that is also seen. So nothing is really happening to you. Why do we go for movies? Sounds like a non-satsang type question, but why do we go for... totally. So you come to the movie and although the story might be very exciting and a lot of things might be happening to the characters, it can never happen to you. And yet you can enjoy some bits of, you know, the drama. So the protagonist dies at the end, then you can cry; some of these things can happen. So all of this is your play in the same way, and you are completely saved.

There's a part of us which is enjoying this seeking now and it's expecting some sort of a resolution to the seeking. But if I were to tell you there is no glorious ending to your story, I would tell you nothing. It doesn't matter if you're on the last day of satsang or first day, you have always only been this. You okay with that? So let the body collapse now if it has to. To be really honest, I'm not that concerned about the body because how many bodies we've had and how many we can have? It's okay. This does not mean that I have an aversion to the body or anything like this; it just means that I'm neutral to it. And even if the body is collapsing, I know that you remain untouched. Because I know that even if this body was to collapse right now, then I know that I remain untouched by it. It happens every night. You sleep, then a new body comes, new people appear, and that life seems so serious, and then that goes, and then we wake up and we find that, 'Oh, that was not so important,' you see. So when you wake up from the waking stage, that's exactly what happens. When you wake up in the waking stage, you realize that it's not so important what happens with this body. Not with a sense of neglect, just neutrality.

So I'm coming up with this idea: the body serves you, and the body has to be taken care of, has to be loved. But the body is still not there in that state of being. The body is not there. It's an idea, it's an illusion.

Yet, yes, but it is not as important to say that the body is an illusion; it is more important to see that the person is an illusion. So when you say that the body serves you, who is the 'you' that it serves?

Being.

So if it serves the Being, then whose job is it to take care of it?

My job.

You said the body serves you and hence 'I' must take care of it. You said, 'Who does the body serve?' and you said 'Being.' Then whose job is it to take care of the body? If it serves the Being, then let Being take care. I body has problem because body is not taken care of and conscious state of being abuse... people abuse their body, that is also the will of Being. It's also the will of Being, isn't it? Who else is here? Point I'm trying to make to you is that it seems like there's still a dichotomy about the existence of a person. You say that 'if I leave it to Being, then body sometimes doesn't get taken care of,' because this Being's complaining... Being is not complaining.

Yes, then whose complaint is it?

Person. Where is this one? Is a loser. Yes, but what stuck with the person? Stuck with the person only belief in a thought. Doesn't mean anything. This... he's expecting some comfort going to come saying, 'Okay, please help me out here.' So you say, 'I'm not there yet.' This one will never get there. But what you really are is always there.

Seeking energy seems this one that doesn't get resolved according to expectations. All others there, there is some way of resolving.

She says that it seems like only this seeking energy doesn't get resolved with a sort of a logical conclusion, you see. All the other desires seem to have a goal. So you say that at the end of this year I want to have five lakh rupees in my bank, so you know if you have five lakhs then done, if you don't have then not done. Very rightly she says it is only this seeking which doesn't seem to have a tangible conclusion. But it wants a tangible conclusion, isn't it? It wants freedom, it wants the seeking to end with the idea of there being a liberated person. But it is only the seeking which ends with the dissolution of the person itself. So you're right, it doesn't have this sort of tangible conclusion. It does reach an end, not a phenomenal end. Something energy not understood happens once it is seen that I was never the seeker and the seeker was pure myth, then the seeking ends. As long as there's a sense that 'I am the seeker,' then the seeking seems to... but it's not a bad thing. So I never say that go away, the seeking, very quickly because very quick...

It is only the seeking which ends with the dissolution of the person itself, so you're right, that doesn't have this sort of tangible conclusion. It does reach an end, not a phenomenal end. Something entirely not understood happens once it is seen that I was never the seeker and the seeker was pure myth; then the seeking ends. As long as there's a sense that I am the seeker, the seeking seems to continue, but it's not a bad thing. So I never say that go away from the seeking very quickly, because very quickly the mind can take it on and say, 'Yes, I've understood, I am that, so no seeker anymore.' But you have to little bit smell for it and see whether the person is feeling some sense of specialness about it. Is there some arrogance in that? Is what is being conveyed that 'I am that especially, but you guys are still not there'? It can seek to smell for these things. Because otherwise, the most usual conclusion of the seeking is it becoming the spiritual ego. The seeker becomes the spiritual ego, the pre-end liberated one, which is very terrible. It's a state of great suffering. Only to smell for specialness seems to be the only way, because you know that the entity seeking fulfillment is a mythical one. But still, if you say that, you can't drop it. You can't drop it just like that. Yes, but not enough to know. To know is to know intellectually; to see is much simpler than to know anything. So once you see it, then it will not rely on any knowledge. It will not even rely on a belief. It's much easier to just see.

It's like saying that if I want to confirm that the sun comes out from the East, let me get ten books about astronomy and read them, try to understand. Yes, it must be because the Earth's angle is like this and the sun is over there. You know, you can figure it out and then you say, 'Must be because then the angles play like that.' But isn't it much easier to just see? Just in the morning wake up and see where the sun is coming. In the same way, one is this intellectual way to say that, 'Yes, I know, I've understood this one must be mythical, especially because the teacher says mythical, so he's speaking the truth, so must be mythical.' But I'm saying not even this belief is required. Leave this also, but just check for yourself: where is the person? Try to find even what attribute about it. That's why I'm saying, what color are the eyes of this one who sees your thoughts? This one we cannot find. And somewhere actually I feel that we know this because this is the truth. You are the pure witnessing which is aware of everything coming and going. We know this, but we are trying to get the mind to understand and convince the mind about it. But the mind will never be convinced. See, it might become your pet and it might dance to your tunes and say, 'Yes, yes, she's not going to listen to me anyway, so let me just say yes, you are awareness.' It might lose its power in this way, but it'll never—it does not have the capacity to address you as Consciousness or Being because it does not have the capacity to perceive or see anything. The mind is just a bundle of energies like thoughts, imagination, memories. How can a bundle of energies actually perceive something?

There are some questions online, so we just come to you. Matthew says, this is Matthew from KGF, 'Namaste.' And Matthew has a question: 'How to listen to this soul's voice?' Is this question the soul's voice? The soul's voice is what is the voice of the Satguru in your heart; it is the voice of intuition. 'So how do I hear this voice and how do I distinguish it from the mind's voice?' is completing your question. It seems like the voice of mind is constantly present—chatter, chatter, chatter. So this one we are familiar with. But sometimes there could be something arising which has a deeper qualitative value to it. But how do I know it's not the trickster just pretending? It's a very simple way. If it is accompanied by love and peace. Ego and love cannot coexist. Ego dissolves in the presence of love. So that which is accompanied by love and peace, that is the voice of your Satguru, the voice of your heart. This is the voice of your intuition, soul beam, whatever you like to call it. And the voice of the mind, the mantra is: 'What's in it for me?' Everything is relevant because if there's something in it for me, so it relies on need. It always wants to get something, it always wants to run from something, it wants to attack or defend. So you have to—that's why I keep saying that you have to smell for it. See, and you have this capacity to smell. You have a very strong nose for it.

Jyoti is here. Jyoti Gano is here. 'Thank you beloved Ananta. I came online with pain and resistance and all is quickly melted with your guidance. I would like to put at your feet this identity with this pain.' Very happy to accept this and leave all of it here. And I'm very happy to see you in satsang as well. And then Matthew says, 'Ananta, I used to meditate most of the time. I got a thought: listen to your soul voice for a while.' I must say, don't listen to any voice. The truth does not need the reliance of any voice. Awareness is not reliant on the voice of the being also. Awareness is always just being aware. Just discover that you are this pure witnessing first, and then you will very easily be able to differentiate between the voice of your holy presence versus the voice of this trickster mind.

Thea says, 'There are things I know without a doubt that my mind can't even begin to understand.' Yes, exactly. This should be a contradiction, but it isn't. You had a question?

Am I aware? It gets stronger and now it feels like the thoughts have gone. Very simple. I can't say think, okay, how am I believing this? Can't find thought. So but if just the sensation was there, then there is no way you would identify that as me.

Yes. So the sense of egoic identification vanishes in this way. All sensations are allowed but cannot find thought. Yeah, yeah. This also happens where sometimes the thought becomes so subtle that it becomes like a wordless, nameless thought. Just feel like some energetic something. It's okay. Still catching, you know, still going catching hold. She knew to say that this is just the person trying to grasp at straws. You can never be caught. All these thoughts like Ram was saying earlier, but it's 'I still haven't got it' or 'it seems too difficult' or something—I don't remember the exact words—but all these are just thoughts without this some emotion, some sensation. Okay, so leave that also aside then. Yes, so leave this also aside then. You leave everything aside. Just let everything be. Then what trouble can you have? Have no trouble.

And Priya also earlier had said, 'It seems strange to see but there is no body. Your love has shown me.' And what do we mean when I say that none of this has ever happened? I'm saying that as long as the projection of the movie is there, it seems like the movie happened. But did the movie actually happen? No, it is just something which was seen. And as long as nothing ever happened to you, we cannot truly say that it happened. That's why nothing has ever really happened. The mind can never understand this. Only the mind understands 'this happened' or 'this happened,' 'this should happen' or 'should not happen.' The neutrality of the present now, the mind cannot fathom.

Thank you, Jyoti. So sweet. Thank you. Thank you, Jerome. Very nice. Amba says, 'And as I heard Guruji recently say, only the Supreme can recognize the Supreme.' And when we look at this question, 'Am I aware now?' this is awareness becoming aware of awareness. It is no longer a game of phenomena. It is the Supreme recognizing the Supreme in this simple question: 'Am I aware now?'

The only non-phenomenal experiencing in it being so direct and simple, why does it still feel mysterious? Not in the sense of not like not, but in spite of it, it retains an aspect of mystery even though you are not consciously veiling it.

Yeah, something about it. See, totally mysterious. Yes, to the mind it might; to you it won't. But to the mind, because the mind can never fathom it. So what happens? There is pure awareness. Then in pure awareness, there's the presence of being. The presence of being, then this phenomenal universe comes into play, including the mind. So can the mind now look back and look at being? Can it look back and look at awareness? It cannot. It can only play in this phenomenal world as the phenomenal energetic construct called thoughts, called memories, called imagination. So how can this energy construct ever look back? It's like the reflection in the mirror can never really understand your life circumstances because it's not in the same realm at all. So the mind is not in the same realm as you. You are that in which all realms are born, you see. So this so-called waking state mind can fathom this waking state. The dream state mind will fathom that dream state. Just in that realm, that mind. The mind cannot understand the originator of all realms, cannot fathom the father of all phenomena. So for the mind, it still sounds like this is radical stuff or mysterious or whatever. Yes, and the mind will never truly understand your magnificence because you are that Supreme one in which all the universes are born and they die. You are that in which God takes birth, you see, as being, as Consciousness. So how can the mind—little child, grandchild of awareness, great-grandchild of awareness—ever understand? So let the mind do whatever it wants. You stay with me as awareness, and then you cannot show me trouble. You stay with me as one, as awareness, and let's look at this world together.

Priya has managed to join the hangout today. All the way to the hangout.

Yeah, no, I've been following the satsang on YouTube. Yeah, so in fact, um, I was just, um, yesterday evening I was watching the Pune one and it was so amazing. I mean, it's like strange because first time I'm writing everything down. So yeah, so Father, today when you spoke about body and attachment, so it did ring a bell because for me also, I've gone through a lot of physical ailments in the last couple of years which suddenly came and I became very scared by the end of it because for every little thing that used to happen, I used to feel, 'Oh my God, it's here again.' So there's a lot of attachment to the body because energetically also, if I get any, you know, like an energy or something, then I, you know, I'm like very conscious about it that, okay, I can feel something is happening, or stomach ache, or you know, like, 'Why is it happening?' So the 'why' comes, and then if I just see it, though it goes now with just realizing and being aware of it, but still it is concerning to me.

I feel because this body topic seems to be the theme for today, I feel to say, although it might sound a little strong, but I still feel to say: imagine the complete body is in full pain. Imagine that it's like full extreme pain. Every part of your body is in pain. You will so easily still be able to see that you are still not this. You are still just the witness of it. And we say that we are very identified with the body; actually we are not. Only when somebody pulls our ears we are aware of our ears. When some cry for attention comes like this, then we become aware of the body. Just like the car, when it's not functioning well or it needs some servicing, then it starts squeaking, isn't it? So same way, when the body is in pain, it's just some squeaking to tell you that, yeah, you need to give it some attention. It's just a call for attention; it doesn't mean that it becomes you. So we can give it that attention, but just like we would give attention to our car. If you cannot find the place where you and your body connect, then the body cannot hurt you.

Like, Father, you asked this question before also: 'Where do you feel you connect with your body?' and I felt this a lot of energy here on my face and like the upper torso, and there was—it was very evident because I just felt a lot of movement and suddenly the awareness went there. So I don't know what was that.

You can give it that attention, but just like we would give attention to our car, if you cannot find the place where you and your body connect, then the body cannot hurt you.

Like, Father, you asked this question before also: where do you feel you connect with your body? And I felt this a lot of energy here on my face and like the upper torso. And it was very evident because I just felt a lot of movement and suddenly the awareness went there. So, I don't know what was that. It was just an energetic...

Yeah, so you feel energetically that something is happening here, here. But tell me clearly, look carefully and tell me if the witnessing is here, or again, it is just some energies being witnessed? Don't let this energetic play confuse you anymore. Just be clear about what you are seeing. See that the seeing is there still. See that the seeing is untouched by all of this energetic play.

Yes, it is seen. It is seen. But Father, I wanted some clarity here because the way you said that, 'Find the color of the eyes of the Seer,' I can't even place, obviously, where the Seer is.

So, the point of the question is just like this: for us to be able to see that you are actually not in this realm. The realm of time and space is born inside you. So how can awareness be here? And what color are the eyes of awareness? It's just a question which forces you to see for yourself that it's not possible for awareness to be phenomenal. Yes, the body is inside the movie that you are projecting. The body is inside the play that you are creating. You are not inside the body. That's why I started saying that the question 'Where am I?' is almost as important as the question 'Who am I?' because even many who say that 'I know that I am awareness' feel like it is some awareness which is related to the brain, or to the body, or to the eyes, or something like this. It is not that.

Father, in fact, while I was listening to your previous satsang, in that there was this thing that again I felt I was seeing some thoughts from a different space. And so for the first time, probably, it was just so clearly visible that this person that I identify myself as—and probably, you know, somebody presses a trigger and I get triggered—is as you said, that the person is made up of all the thoughts or the beliefs that I identify this person to be as, right? So suddenly there was this whole sort of an image of a person. Not image, it was very, very... you can't even this thing, but it was like completely the beliefs that I believe about myself. Like whether it is like yesterday only you were discussing, 'I'm not good enough,' somebody said, and you know, that 'the other is better.' So I realized this, I saw it very distinctly, that actually this person is like a cardboard thing which has these jigsaws attached, and it has different things written like, 'I'm not a good person' or 'I'm a good person,' 'I'm a bad person' or 'I'm not good enough.' And suddenly I saw it getting bombarded, like you know, so everything is just collapsing. And it was for the first time I realized that what you really are is just awareness, and what you actually see yourself as is just the thoughts, and you make up those thoughts as the identity, as who you are. So I don't know whether what I'm saying is what you... I mean, I don't know.

It makes complete sense, and I very much like this jigsaw example. So I feel I'll steal it also from you, because just like this, all the identities being plugged together, a clump called the person. You see, even cardboard we cannot say, actually.

It's like, you know, you've created this whole mold out of these beliefs that are sticking. And that's why every time there's an attack from outside, when somebody says, 'Oh, you are bad,' this thing which is attached to this person gets triggered and you feel, 'That's me.' And so then, is the bombarding useful or it's not useful? It's good. After being bombarded for the last ten days, I think nonstop, and so yeah... I mean, after yesterday, today it was good because today also the bombardment was happening, but I was kind of laughing.

But if the pieces have fallen down, if the jigsaw has fallen apart, then there is nothing that can be bombarded anymore.

But Father, I want to know one thing, because that's what I saw today: that even though the trigger was not there so prominently, yet the involvement was there. Like, okay, somebody's calling me up, so I am responding. But so, you know, like it's not... I wouldn't say it's all completely vanished. But what is your idea of vanished? As in, that I do not get triggered at all?

There is no... I've never met a being who doesn't get triggered at all. Never met a being, including everyone, who doesn't get triggered at all. This is just the mind's expectation of 100%. It should be 100%. That's why earlier, very often I used to say it will not be 100%; it'll be 99.938%. And very easy: if every day you find that it seems to get better, this identity seems to be dissolving more and more, and you find that your presence is just here very sweetly, then it's okay. Even if involvement happens, anger comes, reactions come, you will not have the ability to take credit or blame also for anything. Leave this one who is bothered about whether you've got to 100% or not. See, I used to tell you, and I used to tell everyone also very often, that don't take your temperature so much. In spirituality, what is happening is that we are constantly measuring our freedom. We're constantly measuring our freedom in relation to this one, that one. 'Oh, when will I become like a satsang teacher and start speaking?' or 'When will I be free from everything, never get angry?' All of this also must be left aside.

Yeah, because I think in this whole storm of bombardment that was happening, I was desperately trying to just be quiet and just sit quietly and just be in the presence.

Who wants to sit quietly also? You give it to me to sit quietly. Absolutely. Do you need to sit quietly, or does Consciousness need to sit quietly? I think it just is. If sitting quietly is to happen, let it happen. If it doesn't have to happen, then let it not happen. Your true quietness is never disturbed, because silence is not the absence of words. Silence is only the absence of egoic belief.

Father, then I have... I had a few questions and they're all coming now. Okay, let's see. So today in the morning I was just sitting quietly because I just wanted to be quiet and sit. And so when I'm sitting in my just my being and there is constantly this awareness of it, and so there is this... I feel there are two spaces. There is this space in which there is the being resting, and then there is this space probably behind or somewhere which is just seeing it. And so I don't know, I don't know how to express that or ask that question also, but I get a little... this thing, that is: am I trying to put my attention on some place, or it just is? Like, am I just the witnessing of it, or am I the... this 'I' is nothing.

So this one is still nothing. The one that is aware of being, that one does not have this question. There's awareness even of being. Can you step out of that awareness and become something else?

No.

But what?

Yeah, so that's another thought.

Yes, the 'I' wants to claim ownership over awareness. Awareness is unmoved, untouched by any of this movement, including the presence or absence of being. You are just as you are in the sleep state.

So that means the mind was still trying to find the location?

Yes, yes. Trying to say, 'So where am I in all of this?' You're nothing in all of this. Still trying to find a place for itself to continue. Yes. Some hearing it from your mouth again. And you can't step out of this. You can never step out of yourself. You are yourself. Very happy you were able to come to the hangout. Very happy to see you as well. Thank you.

Thank you, Father.

Shani says, 'Father, some road rage came today and in the middle of it, this strong contemplation of who is pissed off came. It always feels so nice when these contemplations just come like this. Feel like the effort or seeker is being replaced by these spontaneous contemplations.' Very good. Because the truth is getting more and more clear. When the truth gets clear, then it stops doing effort. It seems like just spontaneously the inquiry also becomes very spontaneous like this. If you visit the ashram, you'll see many who are in so much effort of 'Who am I?' It's not supposed to be this forceful thing, you know, 'I'm going to bash the ego out of me' or something. It is just a simple checking: Who am I? This is appearing; I am the witness of it. So I cannot be that that is appearing. It's just another appearance. I am the witness of this. And can this witness be witnessed? I find that there are no phenomenal attributes of this witness. Therefore, it feels better to say that I am not the witness, but the witnessing alone. Not the seer, but the seeing itself. Simple like this. No effort, no force, nothing.

Why is intensity such a prized quality? Like, all spiritual literature asks you to stoke your urge for beyond all possible. And I think that is where many of us waste our energies because it becomes contaminated.

So what is true is... and this also has some place because what happens is, like you said earlier, the seeking also starts off as a personal endeavor. But in the seeking, there comes a point that this person also has to be asked to leave. The seeker itself. And this seeker will create a lot of trouble. It will dance around through all the tantrums it can. So for this, if there is a strong fire which is burning, then it dissolves itself or burns itself in that. If it is just very casual, you know... yes, this also has its place. But if it becomes too personal, if the fire itself becomes personal, then it's part of the seeking identity itself. The fire we are speaking of is this impersonal fire. It says, 'I don't care whether I live or die, only freedom.' That is not personal. And with this fire, then the person can also be asked to go. There's the door. Yes. Silence is not the absence of words, but the absence of egoic belief.

Asha says, 'Namaste Father. Sometimes while sitting quiet or being in presence, there is confusion whether I should feel the presence and being aware of it. Our mind creates this and becomes hard to see whether to feel the presence or just to be aware of it.' That's what I understood from your question: whether I should stay with the sense 'I am' or just as pure awareness.

No, Father. Um, what I'm trying to say is when I'm sitting quiet, um, I want to feel the presence. Sometimes the mind creates the confusion of being in presence and being in awareness. You know, there is no distinction between these two. I think that there's no gap or something, but mind creates that confusion. Okay, whether you're in presence or in your awareness. When this becomes like that, it's hard. Okay, where am I? I don't know where am I. And then you just open your eyes and you're out of it. So I don't know... say that whether I should be in the presence or should I just be aware.

This is occurring obviously to your attention, isn't it? 'Where should I keep my attention?' The mind is saying, 'Keep it in presence. It's very nice, very beautiful, just keep it there,' you know. And the mind is saying, 'No, no, but absolute, absolute must be the best place to keep the attention.' So now what I'm telling you is: let attention also go completely free. Okay? My dear Jen, you have to take your daughter to the... value so much love. Don't presume to control anything at all. This sense of control is the illusion. Namaste Atma.

Sometimes there is effortless, but then sometimes, you know, there's a lot of effort because there's a drift. A drift. There is a drift. There's a drift away from presence.

Yes. What can drift away from presence? Attention. Attention is going somewhere. Where are you? Are you also drifting?

Only attention is drifting.

I'm also drifting? You are drifting what? Let's question all presumptions. Let's not believe a...

Value so much love. Don't presume to control anything at all. This sense of control is the illusion. Namaste.

Atma, sometimes there is effortless, but then sometimes, you know, there's a lot of effort because there's a drift. A drift. There is a drift. There's a drift away from present.

Yes. What can drift away from present? Attention. Attention is going somewhere. Where are you? Are you also drifting? Is only attention drifting?

I'm also drifting.

You are drifting? What? Let's question all presumptions. Let's not believe anything. Let's see if this is true. You say that attention is drifting and I'm also going. So where? How? Which is this which is going? That's the energy that's moving. Energetic attention moving. So with that flow, the essence is getting lost.

Sense is getting lost. That means you stop being.

I stop being? But I'm not... I'm not there. I don't feel there.

This one is never there. This 'I' which is saying 'I want to be here or there, why am I going back and forth?' This one, you give it to me.

Happy to do. Don't take it now seriously. You do it. Don't take it back. Don't take it back. Don't take it back.

I won't take it back. Yes, sure. This one also. This one who also says 'I won't take it back.' This one sits that this love is the solution for all problems.

Yes, but not even this love. Not even this love. Your being is beyond all problems. Nothing can touch the holiness of your being. Even love is in service to your being. Your being is not in service to this love. See? So when I say 'Can you stop being?' and you see that this presence is just here, and this presence is actually unconcerned even with the absence of love. But love is chasing being. Being is not chasing love. Love is chasing unassociated being, and love is running away from the associated sense of personal. As long as there's no belief in the person idea, there's no belief in the next thought, love is chasing after you. It is not a personal thing. Thoughts are saying 'This is too much' and who are they speaking to? The thoughts. So that is called belief. You say that 'I'm listening' or 'someone is listening,' that is called belief. Not too much at all. You have always been only this. You want to play that game of opposites? You remember that game? What will happen is some emotion will come, some thoughts will come, they will gang up and say, 'See, see, this is still happening to you.' Use it and say, 'Who? Who is it happening to? Let's find out.' Don't run from it.

Yes, exactly. That's why my suggestion always is to look. Otherwise, we're just going with the presumption. I think, expect that when I see that, we should stop.

Yes, that... the no-entity, the nothingness, does not want anything to stop. It is still the mind which says, 'Now you saw that there is no entity, it should stop.' It is still the mind. It is saying the mind should stop. Mind is saying that the mind should stop. Being is not saying that the mind should stop. Seeing is not saying that the mind should stop. And you are always only this seeing, only this being. Who are you believing yourself to be? Nothing is going to happen because you already are that. Forget it. You can either hold my hand or that one's hand. Not hold... not that one, not that one. Yeah, forget what it is. Say... what's happening? It seems like in this realm, in this play, you open a door through your eyes and I enter your heart through them. It doesn't have to play like that, but many times it does.

It seems funny. Exactly what is happening to you? Yes, nobody knows. For some, all something... this is no laughing matter. You serious with you two? Can't... no, to take control. Get it together, will you? Keep it together. I'm doing my deep breathing stuff, can't you see? It's serious business. Something is happening, you're just going to laugh at all what did... okay, you can hide it through the laughter. You have to see her. It's clearly not helping. Breathe. Want some water? See, just can't keep it together. Look at that. You see now, this voice you've been trusting so long? This laughter, it says 'Stop, stop' and it stops the laughter. Go, your in-house entertainment system. Please don't forget to laugh. It is a joke. Everything is fun and it's... but you stop. Yeah, but I'm not doing it. She's telling me to stop doing my deep breathing thing. Please. She's acting bad. They're going to stop. Yes, I know the feel. I like this table. Back to that. What? Somebody wants to cry. What? What? I don't resist. And this... saying after all this, look, everything is still here. Yes, who's holding on? Just I switch, you know, scissors. Yeah. What to say now after this? Seriously, look, I'm doing this stuff. It's not bad for you. Understand why I'm... no? Yes, yes. Is that table banging? We can hear, yes, it is table banging. Shani says he's like, 'We are all 17 and smoked something naughty.' Yes, it must feel like this. Not for... she's watching you go back to hyperventilating. What? So Jesse says, 'Is there a gas leak or something? What happened while I was away?' You want me to have to come doing... B is saying, 'I keep leaving for the kids, Father, sorry.' J will... yes, yes. But I was saying nothing moved. It was just the same when you left and you came back. B says, 'We are going to be talking about this satsang for years, you know.' Now she's desperately trying to get serious. Classic. She's provoking this, you know. Yes, my banging the table and head. My foot is banging the floor, my hand is banging the table and banging her head. I'm not going to read it. Egg? Huh? Laying eggs? Is that what it sounds like? Says, 'Hope the table doesn't break.' No, it's a solid, solid one. She's laying ecstasy, actually. This one with the words, she's pointing to him now and he's not doing anything at all. He's making... Jesse says his audio is not working. Good to have you here for a short while. See you soon, my dear. I love you too, Shakti. Thank you, Ishwari.

Look, it's that so... Pranam. I don't want to be... I don't... I don't want people to go. I can't take everybody. I can't thank everybody. I can't make everybody happy. Taking the... I don't want to do this anymore. Too much pain. Too much pain. I'm going... my heart... everybody's pain is in my heart. I don't know how to get... I don't like seeing people in pain. I tried to fix it. I don't want to bear all the pain. It's all in my... I was looking for you for so long. Thank you. I couldn't take all the pain. I don't want to see. I couldn't find you here. Never be... see you in my heart because it's too much pain. But I can fix everybody. Nothing means fixing. Nothing fixing all... I don't like being people when... whenever I was a... I wanted you to be there. I couldn't find you. No.

Was that for the table or you can't decide? She wants to cry. He says it's like a Hindi movie. I have no difference. Could be mind today. Be scared. Refusing to drink, dehydrated. Nobody can say that Sita didn't have an eventful last... it's... but you were waiting for something to happen. You were waiting for something to happen. This... it was saying, 'This isn't happening to me yet.' You want this to happen to you or what's happening? Talking but like pain. The one who knows this, that is... that's where the heart is not something on... say where you are seeing... therefore before just on the... let's just sit in silence today for five minutes.

Om Shanti Shanti Shanti. My dears, we can play the invocations if you have them.

Om Shanti Shanti Shanti. Om Satguru Bhagavan Ki Jai. Thank you all so very much for being in satsang today. Satguru Ki Jai. Jai Jai. Thank you all of you on YouTube as well. Very beautiful messages. I love you all so very much. Okay, my dears, we can turn the broadcast off now.