When 'Mister Me' Comes - 16th October 2017

Now in the play, consciousness itself is playing as if it is addicted to these notions and seems to experience withdrawal symptoms every time we say, 'Just don't pick up a notion about yourself.' But, but what? But what is the withdrawal symptom telling you? That life is going to stop or the world is going to stop? Not a thing has gone. Let me tell you from here, these words are flowing from this mouth. Is there a person sitting here saying them? I don't find him. They're disappearing just like the eyes are blinking, this heart is beating; these words are just appearing. The same was true for you. Like my Dad used to say, that it like what is happening happens. The mind comes after, post facto, and takes credit. Sometimes it also comes pre-facto; that's why it is tricky. What is happening is just happening. And if you were to just rely on your insight for a little bit of time, you will see that this is completely true for every movement, even those movements which we have for mind in the past.

So if everything is moving effortlessly and you have to check the veracity of these words, if you feel like there is an individual entity which is doing something, you must be able to find this one. Don't rely on any conjecture now. Don't rely on any feeling. Rely on your inner intuition, on your intuitive insight, and see if there is such a one who deserves credit or blame, any action, arrogance, or guilt about anything that has happened. Now if it is God that you want or the truth that you want, then block every notion. Don't make anything. Nothing. But if it is the play that is more darling, you know, yet that we are not done with the edge, then continually well means all of this is for God to play with.

Okay, let's look at something. Some of the biggest notions of God is this: omnipresent, omnipotent, omniscient. So to use the word God is very hard to reconcile or recognize. Excellent point. Amaya is speaking; she's saying because we have defined God to be omnipresent, omnipotent, and omniscient, so what happened is that when we heard these words, we made conditions about them. Omnipotent—because we believed ourselves to be a person, then our idea of omnipotence became somebody who is giant, huge. She appears, then you know, his nose will be able to stand down, muscles that strong, so strong. But now what you're finding is a different type of omnipotent. And God is, then the world is. God is all of this time and space is gravity, electricity, right? I am. I awaken, I am, and this whole light and some truth starts. Sure, I am disappears and everything goes. I am appears and a different realm can occur with strange people and strange objects that which we call a dream. When I am disappears, then again I am comes and a medium can come with its own time and space and objects and qualities, attributes of all sorts. That is this I am, in the occurrence of which all of this starts to appear.

Then any idea of omnipotence that we can have mentally, we are coming to the discovery of this I am, the light of which the world is, the universe is. From there the sage can see that the universe is nothing but the body of God, which means that is just a phenomenal aspect of omnipotent. Omnipresent—that's what we are checking. Omnipresent. Does all of this happen within this very presence? Is there anything outside? There is nothing outside of this. And what is that which is beyond all things? Because there is so many presents. I am being power and presence. And omniscient—what is it? Time moves everything. Again, we expected when we originally heard 'moves everything,' we again expected it to be in a personal sort of way. Only when I know all the future, I know about everything that happened in the past, I know everything conceptually or experientially, only then will I say I am omniscient. What we're finding is that that which is perceived here, that which has our attention, only that exists. With the right attention, it seems to be on the so-called present environment, on a so-called memory. All of this powers or projections of future, everything is coming from this. So that which is, as Guruji says, you perceive only that which you can see. So that which is the consumer of illusions, the perceiver of illusions, that is beyond any kind of mental knowing. It is all its play. It moves every aspect, every single atom of this play only moves with the will of God. They say even the blade of grass moves only with God's will. So this really cannot be separate from this knowing.

So in this way, we are recognizing that what we had understood about these concepts, that is being blown apart, and we're coming to a deeper recognition of these which are called the qualities of God. It seemed that from this place these are true. What we had in mind about him, yes. And that is why when we come to the recognition of this being, it can seem so simple, it can seem so gentle that we can feel like, 'What happened to that omni-omni-omni issues?' This is so innocent, like a child. And yet as we investigate it, as we dig deeper into our own presence, we find that all of this is completely true, but it is so much more and it is not true in the way that we expected it to be. So the story in the Bhagavad Gita where eventually Krishna had to reveal himself based on the condition that Arjuna had about him. He said to me, 'Oh, giant, show me your true form.' And there was a war on, so Krishna said, 'Okay, let's get on with it,' and showed himself in that way as well. But like Guruji says, Krishna must have been a bit disappointed in the play of course to expect to see that question come. So hopefully with this little bit of sharing, this light is a Lila. It has been used differently, but this meaning is changing now to be beyond attributes, without beyond form. In the same way, all these definitions will also change.

Namaste, Ananta Ji. There is a very strong urge here to come up with a question if it is possible.

Yes, you can come, my dear.

Namaste. Can you hear me?

Yes, yes, my dear. I'm going to mute while you speak so I can hear better.

Okay. So well, I'm very excited and right now I have to say that I'm speaking from the mode of the person and it's kind of a domestic question, but still in the bigger aspect I feel it's a really freedom question. Often a couple of times I heard Mooji talking about relationships and that sometimes in very important moments a relationship sprouts. So this is actually what really happened to me recently and this is very, very unexpected looking back into my personal history. But this is still, yeah, this relationship started unexpectedly. And my question, if I stay short, is that I'm really trying to be aware of all the mind which became much more active with projection and worldly thinking, some pride about this relationship. And I'm really aware of what's going on in my mind and not ready to fall, and questioning and into inquiry: who is it that's proud or who is it that wants something? But still I'm afraid that in order to put all myself into the relationship, I'm going to lose my focus on what I want the most in my life. So I don't know. Thank you.

My dear, oh, there are two aspects to this question. The first aspect which I can mention about what Guruji says and sometimes even I say, like many times it can happen that somebody's with me in Satsang for some time and I feel like the insight is becoming very clear, something is getting deeply clarified, and then one day I come to Satsang and they come to me and say, 'Father, thank you so much, you blessed us and we found this beautiful partner, a perfect man or perfect woman, always wanted. I never knew that coming to Satsang will get me this.' I really thought he also said that at one point—he doesn't say that now, I'm sure he said at one point—that, 'Father, I don't know about enlightenment, but anyone who has come to your Satsang except me, except me as a hundred percent record...'

Something is getting deeply clarified. And then one day I come to satsang and they come to me and say, 'Father, thank you so much. You blessed us and we found this beautiful partner—the perfect man or perfect woman I always wanted. I never knew that coming to satsang will get me this.' I really thought he also said that at one point. He doesn't say that now, I'm sure, but he said at one point that, 'Father, I don't know about enlightenment, but anyone who has come to your satsang, accept me as a hundred percent record when it comes to getting relationships.' This one something is getting so clear. It can seem like this appearance comes and it feels like, 'This is my heaven. I have found my joy.' And, 'Father, it is your blessing that I can feel that now.'

Because I'm saying this, it doesn't mean that we have to run away from relationships or turn them down and say, 'No, no, I'm only for God' or something like this. And the next minute, you know, 'I just want to be with you, please.' Sorry, sorry, we don't want to get into any of these kind of games. Even if there is a relationship, allow God to run that relationship. Nothing can take you away from your satsang, actually. Another simple story which I have for you is that someone came and stayed with me for a few days and they also had a beautiful relationship, but it was not going through very good times. So he said to me, 'Ananta, when the relationship started, it was with such beautiful grace, but now see what is happening.' And I remember telling him that grace is not selective. If that was grace, then this is also grace. Everything is a functioning of grace.

So what I mean by God running the relationship is that you remain empty of notions, playing conditions, expectations, and see how the play of the relationship goes. Very good or not, either way is fine, but you take out your personal investment from it because we had those for quite some time. Try this one. Try this new flavor of relationship which is empty of expectation, which is empty of wanting to change another, which is full of freedom. Because what happens when we say 'relationship' usually? 'Father, I found this one. She's so beautiful and we are just opposite, you see? We just oppositely complete each other so beautifully.' Like it starts. Then after one week, 'Father, yes, yes, it's very nice. It's going very well, but it was this one thing... if she could change about herself, then it would be the best, best really.' Then two weeks later, 'Oh, but it's too much, too much thing, you know? I wish she could change a little bit. I am changing and I'm doing everything; I wish she could also.' Then these kind of grievances, they start to come, you see?

And the same things which were so attractive before the relationship started, or in the beginning of the relationship—so in these opposites which were so attractive initially—we want to change. We want to mold our relationship in our own nature. See, in that way you want to play God, not recognizing the true God which is always here. You want to mold the relationship in our image. So now you try a new type of relationship. You try a relationship which is as full of freedom as possible. There is no relationship which is 100% free; there is bound to be a little bit of expectation that comes, a little bit of grievance that comes. That's fine. But look at it this way: just give that relationship complete freedom. The partner as well as this one, this body which is here as well. No gift, no expectation. Just God in God has put you together; let God run it now.

How to do this? If it becomes confusing, 'How to do this? I don't know whether your partner is in this angle or not.' But I do. It doesn't matter. What you have to do is whatever might happen, you keep your eyes on your Master's feet. Then you see that the heaviness, the burden of expectations and guilt, the wanting perfection or wanting completion out of the relationship—all this kind of expectation is dropped away and a very light sort of, very beautiful, open sort of relationship can be there. I'll give this example: that if you would just look at each other, then you will reach a point where you will intersect and paths start to grow apart. But if both of you, or at least one of you, has a goal which is a higher goal—which is this realization of the truth or a devotion for the Master, same thing—if you keep your eyes set on that, then even this relationship will become such a beautiful environment for your recognition of the truth. It will not become a dichotomy; it will not become an opposite of satsang. It will become a part of your satsang. That's the advice which is coming up now.

Amana says, 'There is a strange feeling that God cannot be separated. It is in all that is, but I cannot be God.' So it's only reconcilable here in that there is no 'I' anyway. Yes, this is how the word 'I' has been used to denote something which is limited for so long. So when we apply it to the greater You, it can feel like, 'Oh, but the word is a bit of a degradation to that which is so pristine.' But this feeling alone will subside. There will be no feeling of arrogance when we say something like 'I am God' or even beyond that, if you were to say 'I am that' which even in this consciousness comes and goes—higher than God. But there is no rush for these things. In fact, the saying of them is not even important. So if we are more comfortable using the term consciousness and more able to see so gently, yes, even ultimately consciousness emerges and dissolves and all happens in the light of consciousness.

But what is the solution? We don't have to struggle with any terms. 'Oh my God, oh, this I-am-ness is from first grade, maybe from the fourth month of pregnancy to the last breath. Or this I-am is the conscious mind being a union of body and spirit. Or when the ego becomes conscious, kindly throw some light on this. Oh me, this I-am-ness happened at the age of four years.' Forget about it. Forget about it. At my Master's feet.

Father, can you look at me? Something seems to be stuck. So let's... you want to do that thing? I say God is here and you say something. So, is it true God is here? You know, when are you like entering through a tunnel with some obstacle? It's just that some moments this is this... you know, when you say do not... like when you explain or when you point out that you're free now, just now, and that became so clear that, you know, when you just don't pick up anything. You know, the pointing became really clear and it suddenly feels energetically also really light. I mean, like this heaviness of, you know, ego—just not even an ego, just the ideas that one had about—don't seem to be there. Then it seems like, you know, how... yes, what this could mean. And then something happens and that... yeah, I can see that exactly.

So I found the master key, you know? The master key: anytime you feel like you have a problem, you should just feel like you're explaining the problem to me. And then in that explaining the problem to me, you will see that, okay, actually even this picking up is not really happening. Even a greatness, even this picking up, and nothing has really happened to that which witnesses it.

I do that, Father. You know, whenever I'm getting all like confused again, the sense, and then I just start talking to you and just saying like... just trying to remember the pointing or trying... and then it really does help. I mean, it helps in the sense of again there's this 'yes'. And one thing I noticed was that just being this, the mind said that was not good enough, you know? That it had to be something more special. And then I saw that that was again just another trick.

Do you want to be something more than you? Is that true? Having this... that is the primary core of the mind. It says that this that is, is not enough. Like you must have more, or you must be more. But you can never be more than all there is. You already are. Already.

How this non-existing lawyer or the non-existent person can convince God himself, the divine God? It doesn't feel like a play, Father. God is playing. Can you answer? A movie about World War II, but it was done so badly that it didn't... the war... everybody was smiling in the middle and you know... it's God who's directing this play. You feel like someone would do a better job. Like when you ask us that, 'Can I stop being just now?' In the beginning when you said that, and there was this dance, and then some... it was nothing like a voice saying, 'Okay, now it's enough.' When you know that I'm going to leave, and then I realize that even this checking was being done by the mind itself. I mean, this voice and this the one who was checking was the same thing. And it became really... was like, 'Okay, I'm going to stop trying now. I'm going to give up now. Maybe such a loser.' Then, you know, your pointing comes in. It's something... sometimes it just becomes clear somehow, whatever it is.

But remember always that without an interpretation, without a judgment, there is no 'me'. This judgment-full-of-judgment mind, you see? So if you remain with your insight, then you will see that the false has never come, actually. Just what comes once in a while, a sense of belief comes onto... you know, where the sliver of being personal comes once in a while. But actually, even our day-to-day existence, there is not really what is happening. But it is this momentary picking up of the individualistic notion that is, if you like, has become the overriding theme of our life. Actually, right now it is gone. And there's no added loss. It's not something... but I bless you, my child. It is gone. It's not like that you go and...

Can it be like, Father, when you see this picking up, it feels like when you just hear the being, you just see it's like flowing? It's just different energetic, you know? It's like you're going through a mist. You know what I'm saying? Like a mist passes you. It's just like so much energetic movements, this experience, and then they come and then they just go away. Like who she says, this passing town just comes. And sometimes, Father, what I was saying... this feels in your body on the left side, I cannot explain them. And this energetic feeling, this heaviness just doesn't seem to leave. And then you just now said, 'God is here,' and I'm complaining about your elbow. Like we have like... yes, yes, I'm complaining not about the elbow, but about that head or the... checking is not on the one. I just, Father, just surrender. I really, really want to surrender whatever... even this idea that something is just being strong.

Yes, notion. You don't make anything a thing. Let me know. These days is my favorite one. Yes, God commands whatever is the comfortable point of our delusion because whatever is worthy for devotion, we can handle it much better than whatever concept of 'me' that I might have. Wonderful. Thanks, Father. Your son is full of joy.

But do... can I come up? Did you come, my dear? Yes. Hello. Do you hear me?

Yeah, yeah. I have no idea what to say, but I just felt very strongly to come. Now, as I think I want to start with a little story what happened yesterday. And so my network broke yesterday, and my laptop is... the laptop is really my life. And it was funny in the way because, how to say that, it was just the usual habit was going on, you know, getting panic and all this stuff. But what is usually going on when it is around a laptop, which is pretty much you can say pretty much satsang, you know, like this. And also last night I woke up in panic because of this. Then it came into my mind and I was running around, you know, it was getting up and running around. I thought, 'God, why are you doing here? What are you doing?' And actually what happened was very, very, very beautiful contemplation happens right by itself. And it's not that I'm not bothered anymore because of the laptop, okay, really very much bothered in a way. But what got triggered to contemplate was really this thing. I was just sitting and asking myself, 'What makes these thoughts so dear to me?' I mean, these stories, what makes it so dear? I could not... you know, I found this is so, in a way, this is so important.

Being here, what are you doing? And actually, what happened was very, very, very beautiful. Contemplation happens right by itself. And it's not that I'm not bothered anymore because of the depth, okay? Really very much bothered in a way. But what got triggered to contemplate was really this thing. I was just sitting and asking myself: What makes these thoughts so dear to me? I mean, these stories. What makes it so dear? I could not, you know, I found this is so, in a way, this is so important a point. I cannot describe it, you know? It is that contemplation. In that form of contemplation, no words are working anymore. You know what I mean? It's, um, but this question: What makes these stories, these ideas, or interpretations so... yeah, how is this possible? I mean, you know, in the very, very instant of the seeing, you cannot... it's just impossible to believe anything. It's just totally impossible in that very instant. So what is it then that, you know, it is just so... and I'm all the time, you know, just going... it's going like this because it's really triggering a very big, big point here. Yeah, laptop. It's the whole life, you know? It's really, it's not the laptop. Really not the laptop. That's very much... and I love it. I'm so grateful for it, you know? I mean, I don't want a new laptop at all. What you say, I just meant very much when you also... when I know when before I came up with... so I'm very, very nervous, yeah. And because I know when I come up with these things and it's just, you know, this I cannot run from, you know? It's totally impossible. You know, I'm just... it's gone. And when I come up, it's... I cannot hold on. Can you anymore? It's just impossible.

And yeah, I just... it's a good contemplation. And why it's serving as a good contemplation is because you're not taking a concept, or 'the laptop is my life,' and replacing it with another concept. No, no, 'the laptop is nothing,' it's just, you know, something like that. You're not doing so. And because you're not doing that, you see, the mind is not creating another resting point to go to. So it wants to say, 'Okay, this is the... this is my attachment, but I am beyond this attachment now. I am... this laptop is nothing.' Then it's not getting conceptually replaced anymore. So you're just, like, we're showing you the nature of attachment, what it means when I step across. Is this 'me' or 'mine' display? Doesn't have that power over me. Now you're looking at: What makes something mine? What is it? My life, my laptop. What makes it mine? And you're not able to just brush it under the carpet now because you know that even that opposite will just be a concept, right? Just band-aid it away. It's a beautiful contemplation. And as you rightly said, the laptop is just a symptom of that contemplation. The laptop is not really what this is about. So, just like this, I'm happy with this contemplation is there because in this contemplation, the nature of attachment, the nature of how something becomes mine, how an object which is an appearance—and it is always known that this appearance is going to disappear as it appeared—and yet something can latch onto it and say 'mine.' What is that?

Say something what it is. Um, this laptop triggers really, um, um, what triggers a lot of really uncomfortable feelings and emotion. And now at that point, I find myself really resisting, you know, these are these feelings I just never wanted to feel, you know? To never wanted to, to experience. And when I found this, a beautiful action, it's so beautiful. I'm so happy that I'm, I'm getting forced in a way, you know, with this. Because I... the only thing I can't just, you know, this is just eating me up, you know? It's just eating me up. It's just, um, and it's just the most beautiful thing what can happen.

You can see what happens. You see, when we come to satsang, then all of these things which we hid in the wave form start to come. And you can't really avoid them now because you're not buying the opposite concept also, not hiding away from these things which come up. So right now, the laptop is just like a slipper. Instead, actually, it's a speaker. Like, 'the laptop is mine.' And what happens is, if it goes away, if I don't have it, what happens to my life? So two things you're already contemplating: my laptop and my life. What about the third thing also? My trigger. Whose trigger is it? Then you can get attached to articles also. 'Oh, this is occurring now, so this is triggering me now.' That also becomes mine. So that 'my triggers' also can be an attachment. Funnily enough, funnily enough, we can, we can come to this place where it's like, 'these are my triggers, they're very nice.' So what makes the triggers also mine? This beautiful, different, different levels of attachment that we are looking at. One is purely from laptop. The second is like consciousness, my consciousness, my life. And third is even that grease which is tickling you, my trigger. I am going through this process of seeing all of this. So much, so much to look at.

The natural, beautiful, open way to contemplate, as long as whatever is happening is helping us to unburden 'I am' from all notions of 'I am something.' It is whatever is giving more notions to this 'I am something,' it's contradictory to the sharing of satsang. Which might include even the words of satsang. Including, it might sound contradictory to what I've been saying, but really is true. Including if it is just emotion, 'I am God' or 'I am consciousness' or 'I am awareness' or 'I am the center.' These are just notions that we are giving to ourselves. Then better to not have heard these words at all. And that is why for thousands of years, actually, all these words were shared in secret. The Upanishads: sit close, close to the Master's feet and share. So nothing here must be applied notionally or conceptually to ourselves. Everything that is here, it just is like a barbershop to trim things all the way. We have no wings for you here. There's no masks here to remove the monsters. And I definitely don't want to give anyone a spiritual mask. That's why I enjoy a question like this very much, the same which is clear about laptop. I like this all day. I am making highlights and looking at sun. So what happens is, the laptop is not so... and it's very full of integrity. The quest is not with the spiritual mask or something like that, which is how it is. This fear is coming. I am using that to check: What is what here? Is attached? Whose laptop is it?

Good inquiry is very simple like this. Actually, surrender means just with this insight of what is here, everything is His problem. All that is moving is in the light of consciousness. Whether we use the term God, Guru, Self, it doesn't matter, you know? Just what we have to use it. Bhagavan also said very beautifully: God, Guru, and Self are one. So whatever we can naturally yield to, that we can see. And most words lose their potency, we lose their meaning. But whatever still comes, then we can pull that into your inquiry and see: Why is this so meaningful to me that I'm clearly happy to exchange my holy divine presence for just this notion of myself? Whether it is relationship, whether it is attachment, whether it is health of body, whether it is freedom itself, the concept of freedom. Why is something so meaningful or valuable to me now? Always know it's not here. Thank you all so much for being in satsang today. Satguru Sri Moojiji Ki Jai.