The Truth Needs No Crutches of Thought - 4th September 2017

Some of you might not know this, so one of my favorite games is 'I am awareness.' But those who have been in satsang for a while can get stuck in this game for quite a long time. The work might keep changing: 'I'm awareness, but how do I live it? I am awareness, but where is the bliss? I am awareness, but how do I see as awareness? I am awareness, but my family doesn't see it. I am awareness, but why don't I have the peace that was promised?' So simply, what we're then saying is that 'I am awareness, but also I am a person.' What you notice after the 'but' is not about awareness. There are no ifs and buts in awareness.

This switch is in our awareness, but what happened to the identity which I always considered myself to be? Wasn't he promised some eternal peace upon the discovery 'I am awareness'? No. It was maybe it seemed like it was from his hand, but what was really pointed to was your own eternal Atma. As long as you refer to yourself as the truest Self that you are, you will find that it is beyond all this play of opposites—of desire and giving up, of doing and not doing, of enjoying and renouncing. And yet somehow, in this play that we call the spiritual journey, we are trying to juggle the true Self, of which we have had some insight, and the previous identity which has continued to retain some allegiance.

Awareness emerges this supreme intelligence, consciousness, being, Atma. And this intelligence has pulled out this beautiful play and also the power to believe itself to be a part of this play. Many times we are in satsang, you feel like you've seen through the mirage, seen through the mirror, and yet will continue to be concerned about what happened to that water in the mirage, which was seeming like there is an individual entity here. The sense that I existed as something with name and form, even when you see that you are much beyond that, you cannot in fact be that limited one. Even after that, many times these questions seem to get believed: 'What is going to happen to this one?' That non-existent one I have been calling the 'blue cat.' Who is going to feed the blue cat which never existed? Who is going to take care of this person that never was?

So what is your starting point in satsang? Again, I ask you: Is your starting perspective already from the idea that 'I am a person' and you want your freedom? Already you can see right now that there is nobody who is bound. And if there is nobody who is bound, then which problem are you trying to solve? And the minute you pick up the idea that it must always be like this—it's only in satsang when I come—you pick up the individual 'I' again. To just this achievement, the message comes. You view me, yes, a little bit as you're watching these messages come and go. Notice your own power as consciousness to buy into this story. This much teasing is enough.

Otherwise, what will happen is that you might have an insight into awareness, you might even see a glimpse as consciousness, you might recognize your own source which is beyond even 'I am,' before 'I am,' and the mind plays a trick on you and it says, 'Yes, I am awareness.' But even in this proclamation, the limited 'I' can sneak in and you start to feel that 'I' as an individualized name-and-form have now become awareness, and now this is how I need to live. I see many who are trying to live as if they are awareness. You cannot even imagine this formless one; how will you live as if you are that? It is your source. The source is not to be found in this phenomenal play. Because if this was also phenomenal, if you could play as if you are that in this phenomenal play, then this awareness would also be part of the coming and going, because all phenomena comes and goes.