In the Presence of Our True Being - 3 Apr 2015

See, Vivek says, 'Namaste Father. Today early in the morning I had a strange dream. It was woven around random people and random situations from my past experiences. I don't want to go into detail, but I would like to mention one very interesting thing about this. I saw in that dream that I have the power of levitation. I could effortlessly float in air whenever I wanted to, and it all seemed so real at the time. Its impact was so much that even after waking up from sleep, for some time I thought I could levitate. It was all obviously so ridiculous, still it seemed so real. Then I got reminded of your pointing about awareness and appearances, and I realized that the only truth in all of this is the I, the constant awareness. Very good. The seer of all the seen. This is very good. Thank you for such an incredible revelation.'

This is very good, very yes. It could be that the appearance is that you can see different worlds, you can go to different planets, you can fly in the air, you can be like a bird, you can be a lion. It could be anything, but ultimately it is all just another appearance. And if you were to just look for one instant, for one moment, if you were to be open enough just to look, you will find that you are just the awareness untouched by all appearances, including the appearance of this body. This is very good.

So it could be levitation. That's why they don't give too much importance here to any sort of superpowers, supernatural abilities like siddhis. If they come, they are fine; if they don't come, they are fine. It doesn't matter. None of these physical sort of siddhis are important. And even the other siddhis—being able to predict the future, being able to look into past lives—none of these are really relevant because they're only in the realm of appearances. It doesn't really help us.

Atma says, 'I am so happy that the need for the external Guru has gone. That does not mean I will not be with my Guru here, just the need is gone, leaving me in the beautiful space of neutrality. Thank you Father. I love you beyond beyond.' So much love, so much love to you too, my dear. You will find that in this needless space, this beautiful neutrality as you said, you will find no distance from me, the real me which is your own heart. See, and that which we have no distance from, you cannot feel a sense of need about it. And yet there can be times where you find that there's such a sweet longing. You cannot call it a need or a desire, just a sweet longing which can be there. It tastes very beautiful actually. So this can also be there and it's no trouble. But if it becomes... if the mind is playing tricks with you and it's saying that you need to be there and you need this and you need to be more and more in the physical presence of the Master, then it's just the mind which is playing tricks.

And then Neil says, 'Father, when you answered my question yesterday, I realized that you don't actually answer the question that was asked, but you question the questioner itself. The questioner is nothing but the ego.' Namaste. Gauri says, 'The moment I saw, I started crying. Not sure why, and there is a sense of thankfulness in the heart. Not sure what this is.' Don't have to try and explain it. This gratitude, this love, it is just in the service to the pure presence which is here, the pure presence of satsang itself. Then you say, 'I love you so much Father.' I can see there is so much love for you. Thank you. Love you too.

So, 'I can see that all of the analysis of whether I got it or not only happens in the waking state. It also seems to be the case that the identification with the waking state is the cause of the seeming need to want to realize being in the dream state as well. If you smell any arrogance in these statements, please let me know. However, it also seems like this fear about being seen as arrogant is also a phenomena that can be noticed.' Very good.

It's truly some form of magic which must have been created by you that allows you to delude yourself to be a character in this dream, to be a character in this appearance, isn't it? You see like this because in one instant of just looking and checking 'Who am I?', it is seen that I am this awareness of all which is appearing and going. One instant of real openness. And yet the most basic question, 'Who am I?', in the world there is so much resistance to this question because the mind realizes that if this question was to be asked just for one moment, then this whole play, this whole ego could not sustain itself too long.

Even logically it makes so much sense, this question, because our entire life you feel 'I'm doing this, I need to do this, I must get here, I must get there.' But wouldn't it be a prerequisite to first ask: Who is it that wants to get somewhere? Whose desire is it? Whose life is it? Whose goals are these? And yet it is only a handful that all of us might know outside the satsang who are open to this question. Is it so? This is the hypnosis of the mind. To resist this question can only be a result of this hypnosis. You know, sometimes in movies you see that there are these situations in which the protagonist is fearful that his mind is getting taken over by some energy or something like this. And I see those scenes and I see that already it is taken over by this energy of ego, this energy of personhood. And yet there is no hypnosis which is stronger than your true power, the power of your being. Because even this play, even this hypnosis, comes from your own being just to make this play seem more juicy, stronger, more enjoyable.

Yes, Deva can come up, but just before that we will look at Sugat's question. Sugat said, 'Father, there is a question that comes up. Is the sense of being created only by the body-mind?' The sense of being is prior to the body-mind. So in the presence of this sense of being, you will find that different body-minds can take births, can take shape. What we call waking state, dream state, is actually the same. But first there must be this sense of me, and then there can be my body, then there can be my mind. Is there ever a body without you first? Is there ever a world without you first? The sense of me, the sense 'I am', is prior to the body. And when you're waking up from the sleep state, you will be able to see this. First the sense of presence is there, then even the body seems to take life. And let these be insights which come to you. Don't feel that, 'Oh, I don't see it like this yet. Does this mean anything about whether I'm free or not?' It doesn't mean anything. As long as you cannot locate the person, that much is enough. The rest will appear to you. The rest will be insights which come from your heart and are constantly appearing.

And then he has a sub-question to that. He says, 'I can be aware of it, the sense of being. Where am I located then? Is it a loop, the mind viewing itself?' This is a very good question because when we say 'Am I aware now?' and we see clearly that awareness is here, but can we find a location to it? Can we give it a physical location? All of us can do this. You say 'Am I aware now?' and it's clear that awareness is here, but does it have a location? Can we identify that it is here, not there? Does it have any physical attributes? Does it have a color? Does it have a smell? Can it be measured in any way? And you will find that it cannot. And yet you know that awareness is. Why is it like this? Because first there is awareness, then there is being. In the presence of being, time and space take birth. So if time and space are like what I jokingly say the grandchildren of awareness, then how can awareness be located inside time and space? And yet it is always present, unmoved, untouched by time, unmoved, untouched by space.

And then you say 'the mind viewing itself.' The mind has no capability to view. The mind cannot see. It is only a bundle of thoughts and similar energies like thoughts. It could be memory, it could be imagination; you can even bundle emotions into it if you like. So the seeing is the seeing. The mind cannot touch or come close to this. Okay, Deva can come.

Namaste Father. So the question I want to ask is when I see someone that I love very dearly and they're in a lot of pain, and I know that if they were to come to satsang, I know that all of this would just dissolve for them in such a short space of time. I know it from my heart. But also I know that everything is happening just as it should do for them and for their awakening. So I just want to... I want to lay it all at your feet, Father, because I want to know when to speak and when not to speak. And I don't know, I can't do it with enough grace. So I just want to lay it all at your feet and say it's for you. It's for you to do now. That's all.

Do all that happens is grace, isn't it? That 'I don't seem to be able to guide my loved ones into satsang so that they can be free of their suffering and misery.' This is also satsang for you, isn't it?

Yes, very much. Very much.

All that is appearing for you is satsang for you. It's really never about another.

So then yes, so then I would say that I feel such peace and contentment and joy. And so maybe what I'm asking is to drop the thought that...

For you, it's for you to do now. That's all. Do all that happen is Grace, isn't it? That I don't seem to be able to guide my loved ones into satsang so that they can be free of their suffering and misery. This is also satsang for you, isn't it? Yes, very much, very much. All that is appearing for you is satsang for you. There's really never about another.

So then, yes. So then I would, I would say that I feel such, such peace and contentment and joy. And so maybe what I'm asking is to drop the thought that I need to change anything for anyone else; that it's all unfolding just as it should. And if the words need to come out of my mouth, they'll come. And it's okay for me to feel that peace and contentment in the process. It's not that others are suffering, therefore I must suffer with them. That's not the truth. So maybe that's what I need to just put before you.

This is very... you see that you'll find that sometimes it seems like my loved ones are suffering so much and I should be able to do something about it. But we also know now that this suffering ultimately is also good for them. This is the suffering which is making them open to the truths. And it can seem like sometimes they will play this game of hide and seek. Sometimes it feels like, yes, yes, they're getting better because they come to satsang, they open the heart to the Satguru, and then they go into hiding for some time, a little bit distant. It's happened with all of us. So we can't really blame anyone. It's happened with all of us that we had this back and forth, coming and going. So it is okay. This play, it will continue like this. But you be certain that it is not possible for anyone to escape the truth. So you already know this. So you know that everyone will come to this truth. Then what is it? Then it's only a question of time. Then it's only a question of time, and time ultimately does not mean anything. Let this time go however it wants. Let Consciousness play with time and space however it wants. You just enjoy the movie, whatever it might be.

And ultimately, I must say that you yourself are the scriptwriter for your own movie. You as Consciousness have written this entire script. Even the pendulum of the appearances in your life are part of your own script. Yes, sometimes the movie gets painful to watch, but that is part of the joy of the book of the...

Thank you. Thank you, Father. Thank you.

Know that in reality no one can ever escape the truth because it is what they are. It is what they are. They cannot escape. In which form it happens, where it happens, you know, what it takes to make it happen is all part of the play of time, and time means nothing. The Holy Spirit will spare no one from the truth. It will meet them in whichever form it is supposed to.

Then Nomi says, 'Namaste Father and Sangha. Can you say something about criticism? How should one interact in the apparent world when criticism happens? I know I'm not the person being criticized, but sometimes the person slips in.' I love you. You know what happens, and some of you on YouTube who are here who are new might get a little scared of me when I say this, but the fact is that it seems like the minute you enter the door into satsang, the minute your heart opens to satsang, then all of this in the world seems to get amplified. Many of you would have seen this, that all the tricks of the mind, all the buttons that can be pushed, seem to get pushed at a much faster rate than they were earlier.

Why does it happen like this? It is because the mind, the ego, this force of Maya seems to then play all its cards very fast so that you stay involved in this world of appearances. So it can happen that all the buttons, all the criticisms, all that can be said about any identity that you still might seem to hold, you see, about any identity that you might still seem to hold, these get pushed much more rapidly than before. And you might find the most peaceful friends, they start becoming extremely critical. Loved ones who you felt were always at the same wavelengths now seem to be in a different realm altogether, seem to be so strongly attacking you. And you wonder, 'How is this happening? Why is this happening?'

I'll tell you why. This is very beautiful Grace. Very beautiful Grace. Because your heart's truest desire is freedom now. Your heart's truest desire is freedom. And when your heart's truest desire is freedom, then you cannot carry even a small bit, a grain of sand worth of identity with you. So any identity which remains, it will get squeezed out of you. And how do you know that some identity remains? You know because something pushes a button. See, if nothing in life, nothing in the appearances was to push a button, then how would we know that there is some identity? See, if life doesn't slap us around once in a while, then we feel completely complacent and we feel that we are free, untouched. That's why life will make sure that if there's something repressed, something not seen, something which is a blind spot, an appearance will come and it will press that switch and you go, 'Ow!'

But somewhere, even with this ouch, you can then use this ouch and say, 'Oh, this still is tender. You see, this still hurts.' So what is it? What is it, which identity is still here that hurts? Because you know that without an identity being there, it cannot hurt. I remember once, maybe you and I only did this exercise where I said that if I were to say you are a terrible parent, then that would hurt. But if I were to say that you're terrible at Olympic skateboarding or something, it would not hurt. Why is it like this? Because there can be still this parent identity or some other wife identity, some other identity which has the potential for suffering. And it is life's job to expose this because very quickly we will want to say, 'Oh, my exam is over, all done, you know, and I've scored A+ in everything.' Then life says, 'No, what about this one? You haven't seen this one yet. What do you feel about this?'

See, and it comes. And then when these situations come, what are you to do? Just see, 'Oh, this still has some fire. This still makes me burn.' So don't close your mind then. When the burning is happening, let the burning happen. Let it burn completely because all that can be burned is only the false. Nothing real will be burnt in this fire. So from this moment, from now, don't try to hide from any criticism. Don't try to run from any burning. Just become completely open, arms spread open wide and saying, 'Give me all that you have. I'm open to face whatever life has to bring.' And in this openness, you will find that none of this has any real power over you. In this sense of, 'Yes, bring it on,' then you will find that all this will just come and go and soon you will be laughing about all of this. Very soon you'll be laughing about it and saying, 'Oh, this actually used to bother me.' Not from a sense of arrogance, not from something being achieved, just with a sense of wonder. You see, you'll wonder how some of these things would actually... you say, 'I know I am not the person being criticized, but sometimes the person slips in.' Yes, this is what I mean by Grace.

So whatever remnants of this identity still remain, they will be brought to the forefront, you see, so it can be exposed and it can be burnt in the fire of satsang, in the fire of your life, because you truly want freedom and freedom alone. And sometimes when this confusion is there, 'Is this truly what I want?' So Nomi is saying, 'Truly I only want freedom,' and then this confusion can be that, 'Is this true for me or am I just faking it?' you know, like this. But I know this because this is true for all beings. No being wants to stay in this constricted environment of person, not really. But sometimes the mind will try to confuse you, and this confusion also we can be completely open to. Let the mind speak whatever it wants and let it come and go. Don't be fearful even of this voice that is saying you're fake.

Is it really true? You know why I know it is true? Because you've been here for more than one satsang. The first satsang I can give you the benefit of the doubt and say maybe a friend forced you to come, maybe somebody said it's very nice, you know, and you came. But after the first... because in the first satsang itself you realize that for the mind there is nothing here. For the person there is nothing here. And it's pure boredom, pure misery for the mind to come to satsang. But if you can come for the second one, then I know that in your heart there is a resonance and you're tired of this game and you want to be free. And you've been there for tens of such times, so it's completely clear for me.

Thank you, Father. Yes, my dear, I think it just dissolves so quickly because I think it is Grace. You know, as it comes up, it feels very much... my response to the criticisms have been, 'Thank you. Thank you for shedding the light on what's left here,' you know, because it's clear that this is what's happening, you know, as it should.

It is very good, very good. And I feel that this video of Mooji Ji, which is 'The Best Mantra,' that video is the best video. If it is the only satsang you would ever see, then that would be the best. Just to say thank you to anything that comes. He says there that it seems like life is kicking you in the face and still you say thank you. It might not appear externally like this, but in your heart you're still grateful to life for exposing this sense of personhood which still was there. And this gratitude and this thank you, it all dissolves very quickly.

Yes, I agree. Thank you so much.

Very good to see you.

Good to see you too. Thank you.

Google says... Google is here but your mic isn't working, my dear. You want me to read it? You want to see it? Okay, his image is frozen so maybe I read it. Oh, everybody's image is frozen. Not sure if the hangout is still working. Yes, he's moving on. Okay, okay, I think he's okay. I'll read this question. So he said, 'Thank you, Father. You answered my question also. For me, the seeming journey from beingness to pure awareness feels difficult because...' and you said 'seeming,' which is good already, '...feels difficult because awareness is non-tangible with no characteristics in this physical world, so it feels frustrating sometimes.'

So let's stop here for a minute. And you say it feels frustrating sometimes. To what? Is it awareness getting frustrated or is it beingness getting frustrated? Who is getting frustrated? So in this sense of frustration, again we are seeing that there must be some identification with the mind which is saying, 'This is so frustrating,' because only the mind can speak like this. Only the mind can say it is frustrating. But you are now beyond this. You say rightly that awareness has no characteristics. And if you are this one with no characteristics, then do you have trouble with this? No. It is again just the voice of the mind which has trouble with this, see? So don't believe this voice.

And the voice is saying, 'Why is it not tangible just like I amness or beingness?' So if you want this tangible phenomenality, then beingness is already there, no? Then what is the point of having two senses of beingness? It's already there. If you want to hold on to something which is phenomenal yet pure, then the sense of Consciousness or I amness is there. It's already there. But just because this tangibility is there doesn't mean that the root of phenomena, the root from where all phenomena come from, that has to be the end of what you are. Okay? If it's a little confusing, maybe I repeat it.

So this sense of I amness is the root of all phenomena. We call this the immaculate conception, isn't it? So from this the entire world of appearances starts and there is no trouble. If you just feel that 'I am this,' then it is said in the Bible also that God said, 'I am that I am.' If you say that 'I am this beingness,' it's completely fine. I see no trouble with this. And yet very simply we must see this question, which is that you are aware even of this, isn't it? There is awareness even of this.

So this sense of I-am-ness is the root of all phenomena. We call this the immaculate conception, isn't it? So from this, the entire world of appearances starts. And there is no trouble if you just feel that 'I am this.' Then it is said in the Bible also that God said 'I am that I am.' If you say that 'I am this beingness,' it's completely fine. I see no trouble with this. And yet, very simply, we must see this question, which is that you are aware even of this, isn't it? There is awareness even of this.

And then you say, but even this frustration is observed, and the desire that this frustration should go quickly with self-inquiry is also observed. Then even when the seeker is dropped, awareness is here all the time, and I am this awareness only. So clear, Father.

Very good.

If you find any arrogance or smell of person in this, please burn it from me. Thank you. Thank you so much.

I smell no arrogance in this. And Vas had said that, 'Father, I feel like sharing a report with you.' Yes, my dear. And Bhakti said, 'Suffering has always been my greatest teacher. May all buttons be pushed and removed.' Very good. This is a good prayer.

Come morning, Father. Father, it's when the eyes are closed and there is just an awareness, there is no sense of I am. Just like nothing exists. I mean, for the world to exist, I mean, I should exist, or the person—I mean, something should exist. But it seems like there is nothing. So, I mean, can this state—I mean, it feels like just be there. There is no need to...

Yes, yes. But this 'just be there' is whose voice?

It's just an expression of words. I mean, there is not even that feeling just to—I mean, I'm not able to explain, so you know, try to use words.

Yeah, but the fact of the matter is that you cannot leave this awareness, isn't it? This is your discovery. Your discovery is that 'I am this awareness' and there is no way that I can ever become anything else. At best, I can pretend. At best, I can pretend, but actually even this pretense is part of the play of appearances. Mind will come: 'I don't want this play of appearances also.' Mind will come and say, 'But you don't want this play of appearances also,' no? But the fact is that without your will as Consciousness, no play of appearances would also happen. You are that Supreme One which creates this play and plays all the actors in this play also.

The watcher of this play of appearance, and then something is even aware of that watcher. Because there is no watcher, you see? There's a sense of—there's a watcher, there's only the watching itself. There is no seer, there's only the seeing. All gets blank. I mean, the moment, you know, I'm looking at my screen, I'm not able to see your video. It's all blank. I don't know whether the others can see. Can you see? Because no, it's a blank.

He's a little blurry and a little bit blank. He comes in and out.

For me, it's completely blank.

This blank. So suppose this blank was there and you are all there is, and there's nothing, no play of appearances happening on your screen. Then would you be okay with this? There will be a time where you want to play with some appearances, and then this world is born, the world of appearances. And as part of the play, then you also say, 'Oh no, no, I don't want the appearances.' All this play can happen.

The feeling that is arising is that the world does not exist. I mean, the world to—for the world to exist, there needs to be a phenomena that I as a beingness or I as a Consciousness is there. But like for the awareness, it's just like a blank space. No, nothing comes, nothing goes. It's just like there.

Very good, very good. That's why I say that you will discover that none of this has ever really happened. You can wait for this discovery. It will be the true insight which comes from your heart, and none of this is clear. Because for the mind, it is crazy talk. To talk like this, it doesn't make any sense. I say none of this is really happening; for the mind, it is just crazy talk. But you are having this revelation for you, that all of this which is happening has never really happened. It doesn't exist.

And even in the relationships, it's just like—it feels like it's the same relationship with everyone. It's not like—because for you to have any relationship, there needs to be a person, you know, which is interested in the story. And something, you know, just like everything moving so fast, and it feels like all relationships are like just the one. And there is no special—nothing special in meaning in anything. And I don't—it's just happening spontaneously. And just wanted to expose it to you. A bit of trouble talk, I know. Your marriage, a good idea to share these things with you.

You will find that this role, whatever role needs to be played—the role of the husband, the role of partner—will happen very spontaneously, very easily.

That there is no—I mean, no fear. There is not even a thought. It's a—I mean, it's been seen, and it's a complete awareness that everything is going to happen on its own. It's just like if I have to go anywhere, this body will go automatically. Things will happen on its own. Just like the very identification that, you know, 'I am going there as a person,' and you know, just like a body, a Consciousness, it's just moving and doing whatever it takes. And then there's an awareness of that, just like happening on its own.

Exactly. Thank you. And David had said, 'Fear of being seen to be arrogant has appeared here too. It has previously led to a hypersensitivity to always construct behavior in terms of humility.' Very good. 'I had a question that arose from this but fell away naturally as it lost its juice, but might be helpful here now, which was: might this hypersensitivity to arrogance be the smell of the person trying to procure its own enlightenment and defend against anything that might get in the way? Also a corollary question: how do you understand arrogance? Thank you.'

Very good. So we look at the corollary first. For me, and I've said this before, what is the strongest arrogance we can have? The strongest arrogance that we can have is to say that 'I can be separate from God.' To be separate from God. And anything which smells of this separation then must be arrogance. There must be this voice which says that you are separate, God is separate; therefore, you have your own free will, you have your own doership, you are a separate person. The separate person which is the owner of this body-mind is what you are. This is what the voice is trying to convince you about.

For me, this is the most arrogance because that which is all there is, how can there be a separation in this? So for me, the most arrogant is not to say that 'I am God.' To me, the most arrogant is not to say that 'I am that in which God takes birth.' For me, the most arrogant is to say 'I am a person.' You see? Because the mind has it upside down. The mind says to say that 'I am God' is arrogance, but actually to say 'I am a person' is arrogance. So anything which contributes to the sense of personhood, which reinforces the sense of personhood, the sense of separation, must be then arrogance.

And where can this voice come from? It only comes from what we call the mind, the ego. The mind is always referring to us as a person and at the same time avoiding the question: who is the person? Is there a person here? Always referring to you as a person and yet never asking: where is the person? This is the trick of the mind. Therefore, all that comes from the mind is ultimately arrogance, because all that is coming from the mind is personhood. And in this way, then, I feel that the first part is already answered because you say, 'Might this hypersensitivity to arrogance be the smell of a person trying to procure its own enlightenment and defend against anything that might get in the way?' Yes, because it's still personal, you see? Still the person saying that 'I must not be arrogant, I must not be.' I can play this trick like this.

Aruna says, 'Yes, all triggers got amplified when turning towards the truth happening. Clung to Satguru's grace like a child while the storm passed. Still clinging, still passing. Thank you.' For says, 'A constant prayer in my heart is that I be nobody, no identity. This remains Guruji's clear responding to me to hold on to nothing.' Very good. All the burning appears to happen being awareness. It is happening now already because you are in Satsang. You will find that all this sense of identity, everything you will find is getting pushed. All these buttons are getting pushed. Some people saying this to me like this—so all of this is getting pushed to expose all the identity.

So what is the person? I say that the person is just this big photo album. All the thoughts that we believe about ourselves are the individual photos. So one way is to try and remove all the thoughts, every thought that you believe. But what you believe, that seems like too painful and long-drawn to me. The good thing is that this photo album is structured by the different sub-identities, okay? So we can quickly look at, say, friend identity and say, 'You know, let's work that, let's go out.' The seeker identity, let's go out. The parent identity, let's go out. The child identity.

So very quickly what happens is it starts pushing the buttons of those identities which still remain after you come to Satsang. And then you find that this you can use. Say, 'Oh, this identity still remains here. Who is the one who feels that they are a friend?' If there is no person, then how can there be a person in friend? And in this way, then, all these things are getting burned and they're getting—the mind wants to play this trick on you and push the button and see, tries to get you back involved. 'I don't want to lose my friendships.' And this is happening, you know? But then you can outsmart the trick still. Say, 'Okay, this seems to be causing some suffering, so I will inquire into it. So what is the identity that is getting affected? The friend one. Can I inquire and find this friend? Who is the friend? Is it the body which is the friend? Is it the presence which is friend? Where is the friend here?'

Then you realize it was another part of the imagination, just imagined. And then this imagined identity is also thrown away. And in this way, if you have this approach that anything that life brings is welcome, so either it will bring something which causes no suffering, which is joy, but it will bring something which seems to cause suffering—it is food for self-inquiry. So nothing we are now resisting, completely open to everything. And you can specifically also look and say, 'I must be carrying this identity,' because you'll be able to figure out, you know? And if you do it identity by identity, it's faster. If you do it thought by thought, it seems like, 'Oh, I still believe this thought.' Let's take the friend example, you know? Suppose you have a hundred friends. So it's much easier to say that there is no friend that exists here than to say, 'I'm not friends with this one, there's no one being friend with this one, this one, this one,' going over it a hundred times.

So just root it out from the root and say there is no friend here. There is no person here which can be the friend. Consciousness can play the role of friend, you see? So then whose problem is it? It is Consciousness's problem. So all our identities can be plucked out from the root anytime some suffering comes. So now you can come to a point where you welcome suffering. You can actually make a prayer and say, 'Whatever is remaining, please give it to me so that I can look at it and throw it away.' You see? It takes that little bit of courage and trust in the Master. And then so you can say, 'Whatever arrogance still remains, let it come and let it be slapped out of me. Let this be my prayer.' And then the times when we get attached to it, believe in the thought, right? Yeah.

Yes, because suffering means that you already believe the thought. We are saying post-suffering, what can I do? If you don't believe the thought, no suffering is possible anyway. This is what to do if you find that some thought seems to get recurring belief when you inquire into it.

Father, can I speak to you?

Very good. Yes, yes. Can you hear me okay?

I can. Very good. Thank you. Um, I just wanted to ask your advice actually. Um, last time um I spoke to you we did um the self-inquiry, 'Who am I?' And um and afterwards I... I...

Suffering means that you already believe the thought. We say, post-suffering, what can I do? If you don't believe the thought, no suffering is possible anyway. This is what to do if you find that some thought seems to get recurring belief when you inquire into it.

Father, can I speak to you? Very good. Yes, yes. Can you hear me okay? I can. Very good. Thank you. Um, I just wanted to ask your advice actually. Um, last time um I spoke to you, we did um the self-inquiry, uh, 'Who am I?' And um, and afterwards I, I, I listened over and over and um, and then uh I asked Bhava to, to listen with me and we talked through it. And um, and I'm not one for really having experiences; I've never had anything like that. And um, but suddenly when she was talking to me and explaining this uh section that you spoke to me, and I don't know, it like I suddenly sort of thought it—well, not thought it, sort of came. I had a glimpse, possibly you would say, you know? And I realized, wow, this is nothing. It's like this is always being here. It's what's all the fuss about, you know? It's sort of, it's like... and I remembered um, uh, the pointings of 'don't let the mind have it' and take it and everything like that because it felt so ordinary. It was like it really was nothing. And Bhava said, you know, yes, you know. But what seems to have happened now is that I've totally forgotten it all. And in fact, I even had to—and it's got... I remember less and less and I've even had to write down the words that I remembered I said because by this morning I'd totally forgotten them. So it's like I had this glimpse and I haven't let the mind get it, although there is an attachment to, to going out and trying to remember that, because it was just like, 'This is it,' you know? And so I'm in this sort of thing where I've totally forgotten the whole thing and I'm not quite sure... and I don't want the mind to get it, but I'm not sure what to do now.

It's good that you bring it into Satsang. It's good, very good that you bring it to Satsang because you say that 'I had a glimpse.' And glimpse of what? A glimpse of who I am, isn't it? I, I can't hear you. Yes. So you said that, yeah, you said that having a glimpse, and I was saying that a glimpse of what? A glimpse of who I am, isn't it? You say, 'I had a glimpse of who I am, but now it seems like I forgotten it completely.' Yes. And was this glimpse of what you are or who you are different from the glimpse that you get when I say, 'Are you aware now?'

Um, yes it was because... well, no, not really, but it was like a feeling like the penny dropped. You know the saying like the penny dropped? And it was like, and yes, yeah.

The sense of the penny dropping is not of importance here. The sense that the mind dropped and the mind was quiet or, you know, everything else, appearances seem to have no power—all of that is just the byproducts of what the truth is. So don't be concerned about whether the rest of the world became quiet and it was so clear, or whether it's still noisy. But the fact is that the glimpse must have been that you are this awareness itself, this pure simple watching, this pure witnessing. And you yourself said that it seems so simple and ordinary. This is very good, you see? It means that your focus was on what you are, not what the byproducts are coming in the appearance. Sometimes we miss the fact of what we have discovered ourselves to be just because there are some exciting fireworks that are happening in the appearance. And you yourself said that 'I'm not one for, for these fireworks, for these, uh, you know, exciting events to happen.' So this is very good because sober seeing for me is the best.

The best, yeah. It was so, so ordinary. There was no... yeah, it was just ordinary. But I guess it's also... but it was, it was um, a strong ordinary in a way. Do you know what I mean? It was like, it's obviously had an impact because although I can't sort of remember it, there's, there's sort of, yeah, there's sort of like very...

So now what you must do is forget about it. Sorry, forget about it. Ah, I thought that. Yes, now forget that this happened as an event. Yes, don't refer back to it so much. Every moment you start the inquiry fresh. Okay? What the mind will try to play on you, the trick the mind will try to play on you, is try to compare it with yesterday's, what happened. Whenever this happened, it'll try to always benchmark it, always with something that happened, you see? Already it is starting to do like this when it's saying, 'Okay, but that time, you know, something just dropped.' So now if you got a taste of this, then you just forget about the event. You just say, 'Okay, who am I now? Who am I now?' You see? And if it is real, if it is true, then it must be here now. Yeah. So it doesn't really matter what happened in the past, even this beautiful sober seeing of your own true nature. Because if I am that Atma, then that Atma must be here right now. Then in this way you will find that fresh every moment you discover that you can only be this. So don't make this version of your true self, don't make an event out of it, because the mind will want to make something out of it, you see? And you already avoided most of the tricks of the mind, which is very good, but also this one then you go...

Yeah, this is why I thought I better speak to you because I could see that it was like beginning to, to get momentum, you know? And it's like, and uh, so uh, yes.

Very good. Yes, this is very good. And something in your mind will say, 'Oh, but he's now validating my experience and it was very nice.' Something, it'll have this kind of voice sometimes it might come, you see? So just, I'm making you aware of these kind of tricks that the mind will play. But I'm telling you that this what you see, this ordinary experience of your own true self, is available to you fresh in every instant, and therefore no need to refer to the past.

Thank you. Thank you so much. And thank you, Bhava Ji, for getting me on. Thank you. Thank you.

Come on. Thank you, Atma, my dear. Thank you so much. Very good. Oh God, oh, only in Satsang it can happen this. One minute, 'I'm dying, I'm dying,' and next minute smiling and saying, 'Thank you, thank you.' So let the one that is dying, die. Let the one that is falling, fall. And in this you discover your undying Self. And now you are discovering that all the suffering, all that happened in our lives, has been pure grace because it has brought us to this point. It has brought you to Satsang. There can be great gratitude to all that is happening. You can have no grievances now. Not one moment of our life we would change, because in that moment our life could have changed and we would not be here.

Grace says, 'Is this mind who says I'm running and I need rest?' If it is accompanied with the presence of love, peace, then it is your own intuition. Satguru in your own heart is speaking. But if it becomes another need, another desire that 'I want rest, I want peace,' it's like this, it's noisy like this, then it's the mind. Andrew says, 'Father, I hear some of my friends saying that this life is about experience, but for me I feel I have had enough experience. Blessed to be at your holy feet.' There comes a point where something says, 'I had enough of this, this world of appearances.' But it doesn't mean that we have an aversion to anything. We have no desire left for any experience and we have no aversion to any experience. This is the beautiful neutrality which is unconcerned with the content of all appearances. And just in this discovery of what you really are, then the content of these appearances will not really matter. They can still be enjoyed, it can still be wonderful, but there is no attachment to that. No attachment and no fear of any outcome.

Must see, try and find: what is it in this world that can really touch me in reality? Not just something which your mind is saying, 'Oh, this hurts' or 'This is not good.' Find out that which can really touch what you really are. Is there anything in this world? And this gives you then the openness. It is the fear which makes you resistive. And once we stop fearing this world, then we are open to all that is. And this openness is freedom. Be open to all that can come and go, and you will find that you are this untouched awareness of it. That could be the most horrific appearance or the most beautifully sublime one, but to you as awareness, you are not concerned by this content at all.

No one should try to make their mind free. If you're still trying to bring freedom to the mind, it will not happen because the mind is just this voice of personhood, and the voice of personhood can never be the voice of Self. It can only pretend. What is the pretend voice? It is the voice of the spiritual ego. Spiritual ego is nothing but the person voice pretending to be the voice of the Self. And Parvati says, 'Father, I just had a major bliss attack. I just feel to say thank you. I love you.' It's contagious, my dear. And Andrew says, 'As Maharaj said, I let my life unfold according to its destiny. I remain as I am.' It takes no effort to find this truth. All effort is just to reinforce the false. What is holding up space? Does it need a foundation? It's only the content of the appearances which need to be reinforced, isn't it? This space in this room, it's just the space in this room. Nothing can touch it. You can try to cut it with a sword, you can try to burn it with fire; it cannot be touched. You are that space in which this space is born. Cannot even say that you are this space; you are that in which even this space is born. How can any appearance touch you? How can anything ever happen to you? Even when the body is screaming in pain, even when the worst seeming emotions are passing through here, none of it really touches you. As it says in A Course in Miracles, 'Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing real can be threatened and nothing unreal ever existed. Herein lies the peace of God.' So you as awareness, you as this pure witnessing space, cannot be threatened by any appearance. It is only other appearances which seem to get affected by appearances.

All that I'm pointing is just for you to make this discovery for yourself: that I always have been only this, and it is unfathomable for me to become just some mere appearance in this play. Nothing needs to be forced. You could say that all of this seems very real to me. All of this seems very real to me, this world seems real, all the people seem real. And even that is completely fine. That is completely fine as long as you're open to this question: can you show me the person? So even if all the content of the appearances is real, the person does not even exist in this realm of reality or unreality. Can you see this? That even in this world of appearances, there is no person here. It is just a dream. The main pointing is not to discard appearances; the main pointing is to see that I could never be a person. The person has just been fiction, has just been a myth. Therefore all that is personal is mythical. So don't get caught up in this mythology anymore. Don't stay caught up in this mythology of personhood. Taste life without this mythology of being a person.

This one has actually crawled under the table. So please says, 'Father, the tendency to want to grab onto an insight still remains, but when grabbed onto it simply becomes noisy and the urge comes to let go. Don't know why I'm even writing.' It's completely good. No insight, no knowledge needs to be grabbed. All insights will appear fresh in the moment. Whatever is needed will come from your mouth. Ram is also here. Namaste. They are under the table. They're asking who's under the table. Bhakti says, 'I am under the table.' David says, 'Is there room for me?' Yes, yes, it's a big table. Yes, yes, you too. Very much like Rishikesh when you used to sit; everybody would start off very civilized on sofas sitting in front, and then by the end of Satsang half of them were on the floor. Staggering. Who's going to sing for us or play a song? Maybe you can play one more from the sacred chants of Shiva that was playing. Oh, Bhakti has a beautiful song. Shani says, 'Okay, let's hear this one.' No, now what is this?

I am under the table. David says, 'Is there room for me?' Yes, yes, it's a big table. Yes, yes, you too. It is very much like Rishikesh; when you used to sit, everybody would start off very civilized on sofas sitting in front, and then by the end of satsang, half of them were on the floor staggering. Who's going to sing for us or play a song? Maybe you can play one more from the Sacred Chants of Shiva that was playing. Oh, Bhakti has a beautiful song. Shani says, 'Okay, let's hear this one.' Now, what is this song about? Shani has a recording. Okay, let's hear one from Sacred Chants of Shiva and then we play the recording as well.

Oh, Sita is here and she says, 'Can I come up, beloved Father, to sing?' Yes, my dear, you can come. You can make some play for her. We have space for you, my dear. You'll see a hangout link and you click on that and you will be in. Thank you, Pria. Thank you for Namaste, beloved Father.

My dear, you have the sun behind you, so can... okay, it's the curtains probably. Yes, that's good, that's good. Oh, very good, very good. So happy to see you, my dear.

Everyone... I don't know this song really, actually, but me that was there, I wanted to sing. So does it have to be a song or anything? Anyone? Any song? Can I sing a Hindi Guru Bhajan?

Yes. It's the background now, actually. Your light is fine now. It's fine. You've just got it down so we can see your face. There, beautiful, perfect.

Shall I start?

Yes, yes.

Very beautiful, my child. Very, very beautiful, my child. Very happy to see you, very, very happy. Thank you so much. Very happy you joined in. I hope you'll come back very often. Very good. You can have your invocations now.

Guru Brahma, Guru Vishnu, Guru Devo Maheshwara. Guru Sakshat Parabrahma, Tasmai Shri Gurave Namah. Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti. Om.

Thank you all so very much for being in satsang today. Satguru Sri Mooji Ki Jai! Love you all. Jay everyone on YouTube. Well, very good, my dear. We can have the broadcast off now.