Core Aspects Of What We Speak About Here - 6 Apr 2015

So what the world says is a great discovery, the self-realization, should be the most obvious understanding. And yet in this realm, since time immemorial, this search for the Self has seemed like this. It seems so complicated, and you have these forty days and nights, all of this trouble comes. And there are many who could be searching for many years. In my own experience, I can say that it can just seem to continue endlessly: teacher to teacher, teaching to teaching. And at some point, you have to say, 'Okay, I give up. I give up even on this. Let me now see what is here now.' And in this one moment of looking, you will find that you are.

Therefore, it is not a mental understanding that we are going for. It is just this simple looking. And this looking, the finding, does not need to be explained to anyone at all because it is not the words that carry the perfume; it is your own presence of unassociated being. It is said that after Ramana Maharshi realized himself, he just sat at the feet of Arunachala and he did not say anything. Just that in his radiance, in his perfume, many beings got attracted and they realized that there is something here. He did not even have Facebook to be able to go and share, and yet all those who were meant to come, they came. And beings traveled from all over the world to be in this presence.

So what was so special? Why would in those days people get on ships and undertake long journeys to be in the presence of this man in a remote village town of India, which is a struggle to get to even now? Imagine the roads, imagine the ways that people had to travel those days. Why was this? Because here was one who had let go, who had let go of the person idea. And this possibility is true for all of you. This was Bhagwan's message, wasn't it? That we are one, we are the same. We that... very good, very good. Yes?

Something... when I bought the ticket to come here, like this is something I've had since I was a child, ten years old, here. I don't even know where from, but as soon as I bought the ticket, at night I started having nightmares again. So, an atmosphere of being raped and... I've had it since I was a child and I have nightmares. Sometimes they come and then they disappear. And so they started again that night. And in Bangalore, you know, it started and I actually thought, 'Oh, why should I go? You attend on Hangout, and why am I doing this?'

I feel this fear and I feel it tangible in my body, you know? Like it's like everything just feels like it's dangerous out there. And what I feel is... so yesterday when I landed, I thought, 'Oh, I'm walking around,' and then I start to feel like it's danger. And then I get all those funny symptoms like I'm on a roller coaster and things start moving. I feel this contraction, like I feel like... and like everything shrinks and I can't look around. Like, I feel I have like something in my head going, 'One step, put one foot, the other,' like just to walk becomes like an effort.

But when this... like I've done all sorts of things to try and see why do I have this fear, why have I had it? And but it feels like it possesses me. Like I can't... like it feels like it's this person who's helped me to survive and I can't let go of control. And start something... feel like something wants to let go and then I'm like, 'No, I can't let go of control. I have to be in control all the time.' And I wanted to say that because it feels like I have to like hang on and like it feels like this person that kept me safe. Then when I have this fear, then I get really like... I don't like people, I don't like... I don't even know I like God. I don't trust people and I don't trust like... I don't trust life. Like you say, 'They just trust,' feel like I can't do that. Like I have to keep me safe and it's just... it's not nice living like that. Just I don't want to... I don't want to continue living like that. Feel like I can't go, I can't let go. And it really feels like I am the one who kept me safe or I am the one who somehow helped me survive. And it's that person who did that, not I. I have to go back. Yeah, I feel like not all my life... on the one hand, I'm wanting to be around people, on the other hand, pushing people away. That conflict. And you say, 'Peace is here,' and someone says to me, 'Nothing happened.' That's... I cannot, because I think about it when fear comes up, where is that neutral?

You said something very interesting. You said, 'It is this one that kept me safe.' So this one kept me safe, therefore there's still this identification that the 'me' is who? There's something that needs safety. This one is who? Who needs safety?

I, the person. And person... the person, yeah.

It's talking about the same one. It's the same voice which is now saying, 'But this one kept you safe, kept me safe.' So it's good because there seems to be some body identification which is strong, maybe because of prior conditioning or experiences. Therefore, it's good that you get your body in such... I rarely say, I rarely say like this, but it's very good that you get it here because at some energetic level, then this will get also cleaned up. But to see that this simple dichotomy you already see now, isn't it? It is saying that 'This is the one that kept me safe. How can I let it go?' But this one who is speaking is the same guy pretending to be you.

This is seen. I think in a mental level, yes. But in here, like, it doesn't feel... but yeah, I understand, yeah. But it feels... then it feels like he... like that that is it, that there isn't anything other than that. So even if it's the same, yeah, it seems...

But who's the one who's looking at this also? You say that here there is understanding, here it doesn't feel anything. So who knows that here it's seen and here it doesn't feel anything? This is the ultimate trick, you see. It's right here. The truth is right here and the mind will come and say, 'Oh, you don't get it. It's so... it's not like this.' You're not trying to encourage any guilt. You that is aware of this glass is the same you which is aware of your feelings and of your thoughts. Or is there separate, separate ones who are aware of the glass?

Right now it still feels like um... that because feel like it's the thing that is aware is... is what all this happened and...

Where is that? As this body, or very close there, tied to it? How is it? Like hanging about somewhere? You must look, because you cannot believe the stories that the mind is creating. Look and see. God is real. If you are real, then you must be here. Cannot just go with some vision about how it must be or how it feels also. It's not about a feeling. The feeling can keep changing. Sometimes it will feel very clear and again sometimes it feels like big clouds are coming, no clarity. But who is aware of the clear and of the clouds?

Something in me doesn't want to see what you're saying.

Yes, yes, yes. This one, this one is also seen. This one is also seen. This one doesn't want to. It's distracting you. It's pulling some tricks. That's why it's also good that you're here, because in the presence of such, you will find that this one will lose its energy. Feeling it? It feels like someone sitting on my chest. And after, I'll show you this scene from the movie Revolver. Many of you might have seen this scene with the elevator scene, the famous one where the ego gets completely exposed. Just this guy, just the same voice which is saying, 'No, no, what about me? I've kept you safe. I'm your friend. Let's be careful.' Kind... but you cannot be just these words. Otherwise, then who would the words be speaking to? If you were just that voice, then who would that voice be speaking to?

Thanks. And we must then also transcend this mind, not as a doing. There's nothing you can do to transcend it, but this transcending will happen because what will be very disconcerting for some of you initially is that when you look for yourself, nothing tangible or nothing phenomenal is found. It's not a phenomenal experience, the discovery of your own Self. And we've gotten so, so used to just finding phenomenal discoveries whenever we go seeking for something. It's always phenomenal. Want a partner? Phenomenal. Want money? Phenomenal. But when we say that you are not phenomenal, the mind says, 'What do I do with this? It doesn't help me.' You see, we're not trying to help the mind. We're speaking to you as being who is now discovering that they are not the mind alone, not just the mind.

So then there are two ways in which we can do this. One is that I can have a conversation with your mind, and your mind will never agree with me. So it's a losing battle for me. Or you can say that, 'I'm not going to give my attention, or even if attention goes, I'm not going to give my belief to this mind which is just a bundle of thoughts.' And then I'm going to just be open and see what happens. Because it must be some Grace which, in spite of all the fears, all the concepts and conditioning, it has brought me here now. Must be something that has brought you all the way here.

She says desperation.

Yes, yes, yes. But this desperation means that what I have been doing is not working. What does this desperation mean? If it was this one was keeping you safe, this voice was keeping you safe, then it would keep you safe. Why the desperation? Because it is this voice which we realize is not...

And see what happens, because it must be some Grace which, in spite of all the fears, all the concepts and conditioning, it has brought me here now. Must be something that has brought you all the way here.

She says desperation.

Yes, yes, yes. But this desperation means that what I have been doing is not working. What does this desperation mean? If it was this one was keeping you safe, this voice was keeping you safe, then it would keep you safe. Why the desperation? Because it is this voice which we realize is not giving me peace; it is only giving me fear, not giving me joy. It is promising, making a lot of big promises, but I'm not getting anything. There, something there knows this is not working. But something, like you said, is still trying to distract you, keep your attention, trying to get you not to look. So this is, in a way, the Mahabharat that happens. All this conditioning, all these ideas, concepts are like the dark side, and then the light of the truth is trying to get through. And something there says, 'Oh, I'm trapped because this dark force is not letting me look at what you are asking me to see.' Then it is seen that they have no power over you unless you give them your belief. And they'll say, 'Oh, but belief is also going automatically.' You know all this, but also this is belief. Just stay here now. It's just five weeks. Five weeks isn't... how many weeks are you here? Two weeks? It's just two weeks. Because you have a long life and you had many, many weeks of life, so this two weeks you just don't try to do anything at all. Don't put any effort to do anything. Just be present in Satsang. It's much more fun here. Not here, not here necessarily physically, just here in this chattering mind is let free to do whatever it wants also. Everything is just like go.

It's not the body which is concerned with the death of the body. If the body was concerned about the death of the body... the body is not concerned because it is not there. If the body dies, who will be there to be concerned? There is something which says that 'my body is going to die' or 'something is going to happen to my body.' This one is the imaginary one. No one has been ever able to find this one who is the person who is concerned with the death of the body. Also, she said something. She said something is saying, 'I want to die and not live here anymore.' On the other hand, another is saying that 'I have this fear of dying' or fear or something. It's the same thing still trying to convince you that you are this body. So if you are the body, then whose voice is this? There are no answers to these things. If you just look, you'll find that all this just unravels.

There's this body, there's this voice which we call the mind, and there is one witness who is aware of all of it. Are you this flesh and blood? Are you this voice which is chattering? Or are you the witness of both of them? The mind will come and say that, 'But it seems like it's the body itself which is the witness.' But how? The body has these five senses. Then you close the five senses. How does the body witness a ringness outside? Then I... okay. But if you were to close your eyes and I say, 'Imagine an orange,' you perceive an orange. The body didn't move. So you see that you have this ability to project. In the same way, the body seems to be lying down and you have a dream about a completely different universe where you can move and where everything seems to move. Where did that come from? If it was just this body and these senses, then where would that come from? And actually, if you were just then to say, 'Okay, I'm just this body,' just the body, then what is the trouble now? Speak just as the body. Show me this something. The body, is it aware of past or future? So the best the body can say is that, 'I have some pain in...' or 'There's something, some energy being...' So see, the ego keeps us moving. It says you are the body, then very conveniently it says you're the person who has this body. You say, 'Let's look at you are the body.' So just be the body now. Just be completely the body, just here. And it's not suffering. See, it can have pain, but the body does not suffer. We suffer through belief.

Yes, see, yeah, a mind.

Yes, but mind is not here. Mind is very... it's something which is just like a, how do you say, a hologram? How you say, something which is like a daydream, okay? And we say, 'I want to be my mind.' Where's the mind? Where's the mind? It's only a bundle of thoughts, and these thoughts cannot hold on to... cannot hold on. So to say 'I am the mind' and try to be the mind now, you mostly find that it cannot be because it is just very unstable, just coming and going. See, just thoughts. Is there any mind beyond this? Just energy constructs of thoughts, memories of imagination. So we believe we are that which is impossible to see, impossible to see in reality that I can ever become that. That's what she is saying, that to be the body, yes, I can say this mind, this mind... if I try to be the mind, I cannot be the mind. That's what I'm trying to convince you for so long, that even if you try, you cannot become the mind.

Like Channel P, like sort of convincing me that it's going to fix things. It's very subtle.

That's what's trying to figure out what... it's only faking. She says like... she says that after she met Mooji and she's been in Satsang here, it feels like there's the Advaita channel in her head which is saying that 'I'm going to help you.' Just the mind trying to be your ally, saying, 'We're in this together, we'll get it, we'll get it now.' Now that trying not to believe for...

Yeah, kind of suddenly thought and um, the thoughts of the one...

Okay, it's easy enough. Believe... tell me a thought that you believe mentally, that there is a witness there, that body, mind. So then does this require a belief? Does it require you to believe that you are in Satsang, or is it just clear to you that you are? We can go back to my favorite example. Once we see that the sun rises from the East, do we need to believe it?

It's like I haven't really seen what... very much concept and my mind...

Okay, suppose that is true. So suppose that is true. What's wrong with right now? Let's see now. And there's nothing you have to do and have no expectations about anything that is going to happen. It's just very simple. I said you are aware of this glass, you are aware of your nose, your body, you are aware of your next thought which will come, you are aware of the emotions. You see that this seeing is here. Seeing is... it's here now. Are you apart from the seeing? You have to look and see where is the seeing. You say it's here. Let me... everything that happens now.

Okay, so that's a feeling. It's a feeling. Me say it feels like that's a feeling.

Is the seeing touched by this feeling also? Is the awareness of the feeling also touched by it? You are aware of your feeling. Is the feeling aware of you?

It feels like the awareness is touched by it.

Okay, how? Let's check. Let's go to the point where it is touched. Let's look. Let's really become detectives. Let's really look at this. Don't take any presumption to be true. Let's find the truth. So you say it feels like awareness is touched by a feeling. So let's find out where it is touched. Let's look. There's a feeling, there's a seeing. How is the seeing touched by the feeling?

Lot of feelings coming up.

Yeah, okay, it's okay, it's good. It was the other day, P was here—P is there in the chat—and she was like, 'Father, I'm dying, I'm falling, I'm just going to collapse' or something like this. And in two minutes she was fine. We said that it seems like... you said it feels like the awareness is also touched by these feelings. I said let's go, let's look and see at what point the feelings are touching the seeing. Anything that you report will be seen by you, isn't it? You see like this, the mind will paint the picture for you: feeling is there, awareness is there, how they are being touched. But it's not... this is still seeing.

Body...

Yeah, don't bring that. Don't bring that mind concept into it. Just look. You said that there is some feeling and this feeling seems to be affecting the seeing itself. So let's see if that is true. Can you see the mind is trying to now distract you and see what the body... can we just zero into this and see?

Frustration.

Yes, yes, yes. This feeling is coming. Very good. Let's use this also. It's very good. Don't feel that something should not come. There's frustration coming up. What is this? You know the frustration is coming and you are seeing it. One of the advantages of being here is that you cannot escape. You cannot turn off the hangout. I see that still associated with that.

No, you have to confirm by looking. So now tell me only what you see, not that 'it feels like it is this.' You know, you have to see it and say, 'I see a feeling and it is attached to awareness.' Can you show me like that? How? Just the words, just the... don't go with any presumption the voice is making. Just see for yourself. That's all that's needed for all of you. Just a simple looking. And the mind will resist with all its might, doesn't it? This resists with everything it has. But good. But why? Why nothing is happening? You're not getting... okay, you wasted time, you wasted money. What are you going to tell your friends? All the rubbish will come. Let it come.

What's happening to the awareness of... doesn't want to admit? Yes, that's just it. If that's just it, then no trouble, right? It's what you see, it is true. What do you see? Yes. And this me who's aware of it, the sense of I-amness or me-ness, who's aware of that? You said that there seems to be a me which is here. Who's aware of this me? Must be you. How would you report on something unless you were aware of it? So even this presence of me, this presence of I-amness, you are aware of. And that which is aware even of this presence, is that touched by any of this? It's the looking which is needed. You cannot know this, you cannot know this mentally. Just have to check.

That's why I actually made it very simple and I said just don't believe your next thought. You can do this. Just don't believe your next thought. All of us can do this. And even if belief goes to some thought, what needs to be done? Just don't believe your next thought. It doesn't mean you resist your thoughts. Let them all come, let them go. Whatever it is selling, don't buy. And in this way, the hypnosis of the ego, your mind, will go. You cannot survive without the nourishment of your belief. Then no trouble, no offering can actually come and stay. So as long as it feels like something can be done, just don't believe your next thought. Till the sense of the doer itself completely evaporates, till you come to the discovery that the doer itself is completely imaginary, just don't believe the next one.

Who is finding it difficult now? Anyone finding it difficult now? Or the seeming difficulty is also a thought? Then 'but, but, but' will also be just a thought. Who knew that the end of suffering would be so easy? Just this moment, uncontaminated by belief and thought. Is something needed now? Everything happens. Whatever is meant to happen, let it happen. Your body has to fall down to the ground, let it fall. You just don't believe your next thought. What does it mean to get rid of the person? You feel that it means something big or special? There's nothing at all there. Just not buying any concept or just not buying the next concept from the mind. I'm not even saying don't believe all your thoughts, because the mind paints a picture of some projected future. Just now, whichever thought arises now, just don't believe it. This itself is dropping the ego. It's always about the now.

It's not my... usually what happens with spiritual experiences is that the mind will say, 'Why is this happening to me? Why is this happening to me?' And everybody else's mind is saying, 'Why is this not happening to me? How come this never happens to me?' Mind saying, 'Why? What's happening? Why is this happening to me?'

Okay, let's look at the question. Quoteswar says, 'Namaste. Does it mean that there is no need to even try to be free? Can one forget about the seeking?' As long as there's a sense of one who is the seeker or who is the inquirer, then the self-inquiry must continue. Use this thought to remove the other thought. The thought of inquiry removes the thought of personhood, to remove the thought of ego. The ego itself, it will...

It’s not happening to me. How come this never happens to me? The mind is saying, 'Why? What's happening? Why is this happening to me?' Okay, let's look at the question. Quoteswar says, 'Namaste. Does it mean that there is no need to even try to be free? Can one forget about the seeking?'

As long as there's a sense of one who is the seeker or who is the inquirer, then the self-inquiry must continue. Use this thorn to remove the other thorn. The thorn of inquiry removes the thorn of personhood, to remove the thorn of ego. The ego itself, it will say, 'Throw away that thorn, you don't need it.' Better than you, it will be very quick to say, 'But you throw away that thorn, it's not needed.' You have this sense that 'I must now question.' No need even to try to be free? For who? You use this also in your inquiry: Who is the one who can say that even self-inquiry is not needed? And smell, smell—this is coming again from the person, the ego itself, which is saying that nothing needs to be done about the ego. Then use this for your inquiry. You ask yourself: Who am I? Am I this voice which is saying 'do the inquiry' or 'don't do the inquiry'? Am I the witnessing? All voices, all appear. And once it is so clearly understood that no reminder is also needed, it is known that you are just this pure awareness itself, even this thorn of inquiry can go.

Okay, thank you. Very happy to hear from you also. I got your email. Thank you so much. Thank you.

I just discovered you yesterday on YouTube and I'm very happy to find you.

Happy you come, and feel free to ask whatever questions you have. Don't worry about sounding in any particular way. You don't have to keep up to any image. You don't have to prove to me that you have discovered something or not. Just like a child, whatever is coming from your innocence, just share. Because initially you have this freedom. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, I still feel, you know, there is some kind of a need for seeking, you know? The seeking seems to have certain momentum. And though there is a clarity that it is all here and just to be aware of the present, the seeking momentum is—I mean, it's still there and it continues, you know. How do you think one can approach it?

You said that there still seems to be this seeking energy. It wants to find freedom. Yeah. And I ask you that: Show me some bondage now. Right now, can you look and show me what is bound?

It's more like a contraction in the body. It's more like a tightness sensation.

Sensation. Some energy can be there. And you are aware of it or not?

Yeah, there is an awareness of it, yes. But there's an idea that only when it is not there, there is freedom.

This is just an idea, you see. This is also an idea, just another thought. So you are aware of the idea and you are aware of the contraction. Is this awareness touched by either of these? The idea or the contraction? Is it affected by any of this?

It seems to be affected by the feeling because the feeling seems to be very close. I can't say I'm indifferent to the feeling.

Just look and see whether the seeing itself is affected, or is it just another thought? Is the sky affected by the cloud? No. Is this room affected by the table? No. Is the witnessing touched by the content of the appearance? Just look. Don't go with your mind's answer. What do you see there?

There is a sense that the awareness is different, but it's also—it's a very fine line. It looks like I am the feeling and I'm also a little away from the feeling.

And this which you see as awareness, and the fine line between awareness and the feeling—all of this is seen, isn't it? To come to this seeing, it sees even all of this.

Yeah. So there can be some visualization that is happening. You might be visualizing awareness, you might be visualizing your feeling, and then in the play of this visualization, it can seem like they're intersecting. But I'm talking about that which is seeing all of this visualization. There is that. Is it in this realm at all? Is it within time and space?

It seems as if I'm still—I'm localized in the body. I'm attached to the body in some way.

Yes. This 'I' is who? Who is this 'I'?

I can't explain. I can't put a word on it.

So let's look at it. We see that the body is phenomenal, isn't it? Yeah, body is phenomenal. Therefore, if something could get attached to the body, that would also have to be phenomenal. If something was to be attached to the body, that would also be phenomenal. Therefore, there must be a seeing which is aware of both of these phenomena: that which is attached and the body. Okay, let me ask you a different question. Are you aware now?

Yeah.

What is seen to confirm this?

Maybe because there's an awareness of the surroundings and the body and that content.

That is the content. Suppose that all your senses were switched off. Would you be aware or unaware?

I think there would still be an awareness of the body, the environment inside the body, the sensation, the feeling.

And even if there was nothing, you would be able to say that there was nothing. Like you go to sleep in the night, right? And you say, 'I went to sleep and in the sleep there was nothing.' Who was there to see that there is nothing?

There is no direct experience of seeing nothing. It's more like an inference afterwards when you wake up, that there was no awareness of anything.

Yes, but just now you blink, no? Every minute we blink thirty times. So how is sleep not a blink then? If there was nothing, even you were not there, then what is the difference between blinking and sleeping? How do you know that you slept? Because you are still there to say that there is nothing. There is nothing phenomenal to report, this is true. You're not there then to report this, but you are able to wake up and report that there was nothing. And now there's a presence of me, the waking state is here. You are able to say that there was a sleep state and there is a waking state. There is some—not someone, but one who can differentiate between sleep state and waking state.

But that seems to be happening only when there is waking state. And when in the deep sleep state...

Yes, the reporting is happening only in the waking state. Yeah, see. But the fact that there was nothing in the sleep state, is it that—is that just imagination in the waking state?

No, I think it's an inference that there's no memory of it, there's no awareness of it in any way. So we say there's nothing. What I'm trying to say is there seems to be no awareness also in deep sleep, not just the content of awareness.

Let's use another way. Let's use another way. So, become aware of your thoughts. And you say when the phenomena of thought is there, then there is something. And when the phenomena of thought is not there, the space between your thoughts, you say there is nothing. But you are still there, able to report later that there was nothing. Is this true or not?

Yeah, I would say even though when the thoughts are not there, there is a sense of being, just being aware. I mean, maybe a certain sensation, I'm not sure.

This is good. So you say that this sense of being is there in the waking state and the dream state. Yeah. Even this sense of being is not there in the sleep state. Yes. So who knows that this sense of being is here? Who is aware even of being being present in the waking and dream state and being absent in the sleep state?

I think it's an inference. It's an understanding. It's an understanding of the situation.

Look at it another way. Don't use any mental understanding. Don't refer to any concept. Don't refer to any knowledge about anything at all. Okay? And now answer this question: Can you stop being now?

No.

Being—can you stop it?

No.

Do you have to refer to some memory or it is seen right now?

It's seen immediately.

Seen immediately. So is it conceptual or seen?

It's seeing. It's not conceptual awareness.

Okay, very good. So who is aware that being cannot be stopped? Is it being itself, or is there an awareness even prior to being?

I think it's awareness itself. I mean, the primacy of awareness is very obvious. I mean, it doesn't need logic.

Yes, exactly. That's my point, actually. That's my point. Then when I ask you, 'Are you aware now?', is it an inference based on even the presence of being, or is it simply just known that yes, awareness is here? Awareness being aware of itself. Because it cannot be a phenomenal experience. When you answer the question 'Am I aware now?', then you're not referring to any phenomenal experience, isn't it?

Yeah, I'm not referring to anything in particular. But I'm also not aware of awareness by itself without any content. It seems to me that the awareness is always there with respect to something else.

Yes. Actually, when you answer 'Am I aware now?', then we are not referring to any content, including the presence of being itself does not need to be referred to, you see. It is just later when we are trying to understand it, we say, 'Yes, I'm aware of being. Yes, I'm aware of this bottle. Yes, I'm aware of the computer.' That comes later. But just instantly when I say, 'Am I aware now?'

Yes.

Yeah, that it sees that being cannot be stopped, that being is present—that must be awareness. Yeah. And to be able to say with great conviction that 'I am aware now,' not as a mental understanding but just to see. The confusion comes, you know why? Because you cannot see awareness as a phenomenal experience, although you might even be able to feel the presence of being as a sort of phenomenal experience. For awareness itself cannot be ever perceived as phenomenal. Okay? That's why you say that although it is completely clear that I am aware now, I cannot see it. Because you cannot see it phenomenally.

Mhm. I have a question. Like, if awareness is really independent of the content, why isn't there a self-awareness in deep sleep?

There is. That's what I'm saying. You are aware that there is no phenomenal content in sleep, therefore you must be there to say that there is no phenomena. Who is the one who says, 'I enjoyed deep sleep last night'? Is it just an inference?

I think so. That's what I feel.

If it was just an inference, then you would need a phenomenal experience for it. I know this is the first time we are interacting, so it might seem like it's getting too much, but we can—this is a good starting point for our conversation. Yeah.

It's fine. I'm fine with this.

You can see, you can infer that there is some memory of some beings that you were interacting with, so you can infer that you must have had some dreams because there is something to refer to. But to see that there was nothing, how will you infer that? Because you have no reference point, you see. You just know that there was nothing. An inference means to come from a mental understanding, that you use some concepts together and you come to a conclusion. That's inference, isn't it?

Yeah, after the experience you make an idea about what it is.

Yes, yes, yes. So the idea is not what we are talking about, you see. So even when I ask you now, 'Are you aware now?'

Yeah.

We are not speaking about the mental idea of awareness being aware of itself. We are talking about what is really here. What is really here. So find out what knows that you are aware now.

I think when you ask the question, then immediately there is a realization that there is awareness because it's a primal knowing.

Yeah. Where are you in relation to this awareness? Don't go with any knowledge, just look.

It looks like I am the awareness and I'm also something in awareness. Like, I can't separate myself from awareness or the feeling of being this body and this 'I'.

Who cannot separate yourself is who?

I'm looking. I don't have an immediate answer. I'm just looking at it.

Good, because I'm not really interested in the answer. I'm only interested in the looking. It's very good that you can look. Answers are cheap. Answers are available everywhere, see? And no answer is the truth anyway. It is just—what is worthwhile is just to see: Who am I? And you so beautifully said that the presence of being is also here. Who is aware of the presence of being? Also, being aware of you, or you are aware of being?

There's still a movement of trying to find out.

I'm just looking at it. Good, because I'm not really interested in the answer; I'm only interested in the looking. It's very good that you can look. Answers are cheap; answers are available everywhere, you see. And no answer is the truth anyway. It is just what is worthwhile is just to see: Who am I? And you so beautifully said that the presence of being is also here. Who is aware of the presence of being? Also, being aware of you, or you are aware of being? I... there's still a movement of trying to find out, trying to respond to that question, you know, but nothing... I'm not able to find anything.

Very good. It's very good for your first Satsang here like this. Keep joining in so that what will happen is that your attention will keep getting dipped into your being and into your absolute Self like this. Very naturally, you learn how to just remain at home without any trouble, without any sense of controlling also. Let go of this also, this attention also. You will find that you are this unmoving, unchanging, pure witnessing in which the dynamic aspect of Consciousness or being also arises. There is never a confusion that you could just be that. Always be clear that you are the pure witnessing from which the entire phenomenal universes are rising and disappearing. Welcome to Satsang, and my blessings and love are always with you, my dear. May it bring you your true realization of what you always are and always were.

So, I see a couple of you are new today in the Hangout and Satsang outside. So let me share some core aspects of what we speak about here. You see, when I come into Satsang, there are usually three different questions that come. There are three different questions that come. The first question, the most common question that comes, is: 'I want to be free from my suffering. How do I put an end to my suffering?' That is the first, most basic question that most beings who come to Satsang can have. And to be free from suffering is the simplest thing, but you must look at it. If you're here for the first time, we can look at it in some detail.

You cannot suffer without believing a thought. So when a thought arises, you see that thought just arises. You can wait for your next thought to confirm this, and you will see that thought is just arising. And when a thought arises, you will find that there are two forces that interact with this thought. The first is the force of your attention, the power of attention. And this attention, if it goes to the thought, then the thought seems like it is real. If it doesn't go to the thought, then the thought just comes and goes. Therefore, most sadhanas in the world are focused on controlling this attention. Even when Maharaj said, 'Stay, keep your attention only to the sense I Am,' he was referring to keeping the attention, giving an anchor to the attention in the presence. Keep the attention in the presence. And all sadhanas, whether you look at mindfulness meditation, all these practices, most of them are focused on keeping your attention at a particular place, trying to give you some mastery over your attention.

But if you were to look, you will find that just because of giving attention also, you cannot suffer. It also needs another force, another power called the power of belief. You see that even if attention goes to the thought, unless it gets your belief, it causes no suffering. So what I suggest is just withdraw your belief from your next thought. And belief seems like it is much more simple to handle than attention is. The more you try to control attention, the more it wants to jump around. The more it wants to jump around. So if I say, 'Don't bring your attention to a monkey,' then very quickly a monkey will appear. So attention is not that easy to control. If I say, 'Don't believe that you are a monkey,' that is much easier. So let attention also go to thoughts if you want. Let attention go completely free. Just don't give belief to your next thought. And in this not giving belief to your next thought, you cannot show me suffering unless you believe some other thought, like 'belief is going automatically' or some other thought like this. You cannot show me suffering.

And in this, you will find so much space and the ability to contemplate into your true nature. When we are just constantly distracted by our thoughts and our attention and belief is just consumed by thought, then there is no room for further contemplation, see? So first, some amount of freedom is got from these thoughts. These thoughts don't seem so powerful now after you have withdrawn your belief from them. They get their nourishment, they get their power from your own attention and belief. So this was the first question: 'How can I end my suffering?' Then the suffering is just not believing your next thought.

Then you say, 'Yes, I have lost my ability to suffer. All thoughts are just coming and going. I'm not resisting anything at all, and so I have lost my ability to suffer. But can you show me God? Can you show me God?' And my response to that question is: 'Yes. Can you stop being now?' And in looking at this question, 'Can I stop being now?' you will find that the presence of being is here; it cannot be stopped. That's why this shortcut is here. If I were to say, 'Go and find your being,' then you will say that, 'Oh, it gets confused, it feels like this and feels like that.' But when I say, 'Can you stop being now? Can you turn it off?' then you say, 'No, this presence is here. I cannot turn it off.' This presence that I am, that I exist, is here. So this presence is Consciousness, is God, is beingness, in the light of which this entire universe comes into play. Your own holy presence, your own Atma, is Consciousness.

Then lastly, someone might come and say, 'Can you tell me about the Absolute, the Self?' And don't worry so much about the definitions. If your definition of God is the Absolute Self, that is absolutely fine. Don't worry; it's not about the definitions. Someone could come and say, 'Can you show me the Absolute Self, absolute truths?' And for this, we have this question: 'Are you aware now?' And you see that you are aware, and yet no phenomenal experience was required. Not even the presence of being was required. And to be able to confirm that awareness is here, it must be awareness itself that checks. So this is awareness being aware of itself. Awareness being aware of awareness.

So these are the three main questions that any spiritual seeker could have. And then we have a simple pointing for you, which is that there are two A's: there's the big 'A' Awareness and there's a small 'a' appearance. And all which is appearing phenomenally, we call the appearance: the thoughts, emotions, the body, another person, the external world, the stars in the sky, the sun and the moon. Everything is appearing to this Awareness. And in the absence... if this Awareness was not there, then you would not be able to have any appearance. So this Awareness is ever-present, is the eternal one, the unchanging, unmoving one, which is aware of something and of nothing, of appearance and of no appearance, of something and nothing, of thought and no thought, of mind and no mind, of waking and of sleep. This Awareness you are. But anytime you give your belief to something which says that you are just an appearance, then you are picking up this fruit and suffering. So that is the core of the teaching, the core of what is being pointed to.

So all of us can contemplate these things. And if the entire Satsang seems too long, we can request someone to make a small video or highlight out of the last fifteen minutes or so to get the essence of what is being spoken about here. And as Kabir Ji says, the greatest discovery will be that you were never the person in your head. In fact, no person ever existed. Life was living life always. Very like her smile completely believes me. She's got the smile which can light up a room when it comes. It feels like there must be complete joy here. And then something from the mind will come, 'But, but...' So her smile believes me, but her mind is still together. Someone sing for us? Clare, you want to play some song? Would you like me to play a song? Did I find one? Okay, thank you.

Hello, Father. Can I speak up for a minute? Yes, while this music was playing on, it felt like this music was playing on within me, within me as an awareness. And all the appearances that are coming, forming, you know, and dissolutions that are happening within me, and then just... just pure awareness. It just... this can't be put into words, but that is it. I mean, just this awareness. All appearances are appearing and disappearing within you.

Sita says, 'I'm not sure whether I'm being heard.' You're not heard, my dear. Mic is not on. We're looking forward to hearing you, actually. I heard what you sang the other day quite a few times after Satsang also; it was very beautiful. Let's wait another couple of minutes to see if video and audio come on. Audio seems to be on now. Increase the volume, my dear. Can you hear me now? Yes, but a little more. Can you do a little bit more? Oh, thank you so much. Yes, you ready to sing now?

Actually, I don't know the song. It's just that I want to sing. I don't know what I mean... I will try.

You can sing the same one if you want. You can sing the same one.

Yeah. And also, like, the words, like after it is being said, it's like coming up later on. I'm hearing the same sound like after some time. I don't know because I'm not... I'm new to all these things.

So you have to go to your YouTube and pause it, my dear, because you're probably hearing the audio from both places: the Hangout and the YouTube.

Okay, okay. Yes, thank you so much. It's fine now? Yes, yes. Okay, but your audio is still a little mild. Is there a volume you can increase, or is her volume on full? Clare, in the control panel? Can you hear me now, or should I take it out from the earphone?

Yes, maybe like that day was good. Is that better? Oh, much better. You can sing now.

Sorry, oh, so I don't know why I... I'm forgetting all the sounds, actually. It's completely fine. Okay, you can sing the chorus again, the main part. Even that I'm forgetting. I said nothing is... Beautiful. Thank you.

So, can I sing another one? I mean, I just don't know whether it's... Yes, actually, I don't know what's happening because I was about to sing the other, the same one, but like with Ramana and Papaji, the song that the soul sings, and something else is coming. No, that is not... I have to leave. I don't know. It's because I'm like... body is shaking, so that's why.

Very sweet, very sweet. Why is the video not working today? I don't know, actually. Thank you so much. You're singing very well.

Thank you so much. Love you, Father. I don't even know where do I go for like getting the video.

On top of your page, there should be a video button next to the mic button.

Oh, yes, yes. There you are. Like, after all this, can I sing one more? I mean, I will try to sing it in a proper way. This is a song that I sang for Mooji in London when he came last year, and it's a Guru Bhajan as well, but it's like more Nepalese and a little bit of Tibetan.

Very good idea. Thank you all so very much for being in Satsang today. Thank you. Jai Jai Jai. Welcome to Satsang. Very good to see you here as well. Love you. Love you. Thank you, Clare, for moderating very beautifully today. So happy with your new computer. You can turn the broadcast off now, my dear.