How Can I Admit to Myself That I Don´t Know? - 8th December 2017

"I don't know" is not a braggart, sir. Sometimes some of us have these biological children. These children, they'll ask a lot of questions. Now, it's not that the questions are tiring, actually, because many parents complain that these questions are tiring. My child asking the questions are not tiring; it is because they ask you a question which will make you feel stupid very fast, you see. Ultimately, a child within five or six questions, they come to things like "Why is the sky blue?" and you don't want to feel stupid that "I have lived on this planet for forty years and more and I still don't know why the sky is blue." Then keep quiet, you understand, when it's your time.

Isn't this fear about... bit in India also and some Middle Eastern countries also, it is like this: that nobody tells you, if you ask them for directions, nobody says they don't know, okay? Everybody will say, "Just go a little bit forward there, you'll find it." "So, where? There on left or right?" "No, no, there you go there, then you ask somebody." "So, do you know?" "Yeah, of course!" What do you mean, "of course"? So this is what is happening. After many such transforming influences, you can feel like, with a heard of awareness and hold on consciousness and "I heard I'm the unborn," you see. So how can I admit to myself that I don't know? Because this "I don't know" sounds like bad news, but actually it is the best news.

If you come to this neutrality, this emptiness of I don't know, that means that you have dropped all concepts of who you are. In the absence of any concept of who you are in a moment, you might see that this truth has been so apparent. And that is why one of my themes over the last few weeks has been: don't try to solve it like an equation. Because many are trying to solve it as a mathematical incident: "I found this is this, and this equals this, therefore I must be that." It cannot be a "must be" like that. That is why so many of you are trying to see some emptiness or something, but this is still mental visualization, trying to find the space.

Because sometimes some words come like "the space of being," "the space of awareness," and the mind latches onto that and tries to give you this big empty space, and you start to believe that that is awareness. It is not that. What is aware of even that perceiving? Then you will see that it is neither an object nor space. You are not the earth, water, fire, air, not even the space. You are beyond any imagination, beyond any visual concept, beyond any mental concept. What is your experience right now? What is your direct insight right now? And hear this: when I'm telling you that there is nothing missing, nothing is missing. Because if missing means coming and going, if something was missing, that would mean the truth is coming and going. It is just that you're interpreting it wrongly.

We can say right now all appearances are appearing. Are you not aware of them? This is a very nice place to stay with your insight. Don't go to an inference. No inference. This awareness... all appearances are changing. What about that which is aware of them? You will find that is unchanging. And if the mind is giving you some doubt about this, try to think: don't be aware. For one fraction of a moment, don't be aware. You can't do it. Even if you say, "I went to sleep," even to have this experience called sleep, what you're actually saying is that "I am aware of the experience of sleep," you see. All my senses stopped, I am rested so deeply that all sensory perception went away, the world vanished, body vanished, emotions vanished, thoughts vanished, and I must be there to be aware of it.