If You Forget About the 'Me', Then Mind Is Gone - 11th December 2017

So if the definition of reality was that which does not change, is there anything real about you? And for me, this is pretty uncomfortable. This looking for that which is real is very uncomfortable because all that we have believed about ourselves is being shown to be changing. Nothing that we have believed about ourselves has been a constant. This body is changing, our emotions are changing, our thoughts are changing, our family is changing, our homes are changing. Everything is changing. And because we have tried to make that which is changing into the constant, therefore we are tired. You want something that is real. You want something that will last. But wanting must also go, so to say. Are we looking for the byproducts of truth? Therefore, another way to fulfill a desire?

Just yesterday or the day before, I found a beautiful quote also where Saint Augustine was also speaking about the same thing. For God's sake, because if it is another way to fulfill our desire, the plate of desire is never full. It sees some cannelloni, very nice on the plate, then it's not looking at the cannelloni, it's looking at the ravioli. In the next minute, it sees the tiramisu and says, 'Can I have the tiramisu?' There comes a point in life where the longing for the truth becomes so strong that we are not so concerned about the byproducts. Most of you, you are not so concerned about the byproducts, but you are still using the byproduct as some sort of a benchmark for how free you are. See, some anger is coming, therefore one must not be free. And if some lust comes, 'Oh, I cannot be free. How can lust come like this?' These kind of concepts. Then you feel like, 'Oh, I'm still bound.' This is not whatever might be coming. Where is it coming? Where is it? You feel like you're a three-dimensional object in this silly idea, right? But I can show you that you're more than three dimensions right now.

When you go inside, we say 'go inside,' where is that? This is so clear, so apparent. Do we not every time close our eyes and experience this same three-dimensional space here? Already we create some object, this world, this one. But hearing that same space of your being and the entire world is available. As the sages of Ashtavakra Gita say, that you are that boundless ocean, the boundless ocean in which the arcs of the universe, they come and move. You feel like this will be divided for thousands and thousands of years, that you are the boundless ocean in which the arcs of the universe come and move. So the ego is nothing but a misunderstanding about that in which the arcs of the universe, they come and move, that is now considering itself to be a tiny three-dimensional object. And they only want other objects to feel like you're bigger. But no matter how much other material possession you get, it is never enough because it can never compare with your reality.

Have you wondered why this desire is always so bottomless? This continuous bottomless pit? It is because you know in your heart that you are much bigger than all of this. But in this play as an individual trying to get more and more objects, more in relationships, fill yourself up. What does this mean? That when you no longer bind to this fallacy or finger—it's a fallacy—does that mean that relationships have to be wrong? Does it mean that food has to be wrong? It doesn't mean that anything has to change about this play. It is just that your vantage point will change because your perspective about yourself, which is the rest, may change. No 'me,' not you, it's fine. What is important is that you see yourself clearly, what you are.

If you had to pick between two options, one path might be a bit wobbly, might be a bit strange, but you will come to an authentic recognition of your reality. Or the other path: this is a life full of pleasure, full of best relationships, best enjoyment, but nothing stable, and then death is coming. It's all going to die. Each path, you think you have to answer this in your own light. One path you might feel like all our belief system is being wiped away, and for a while it seems confusing. 'I don't know who I am anymore.' So you can go on the other path. If there were such a path where you just have the best things in life, what is it that you would pick? Now this is the Nachiketa operation, the Nachiketa story. I would ask this question. This conversation with the God of Death himself said, 'What are you getting into all this stuff for? You want to know who you are? I'll give you nice palaces and nice relationships and nice everything.' And Nachiketa said, 'Will any of this survive you?' He said, 'No, all that is in time is subject to death.' This small child said, 'I want to go beyond death, that which will not be coming to this whatever.'

See, this is what it means when I say truth for truth, irrespective of any byproduct. Because what happens also in satsang is that many times you might feel like, 'I came to the satsang for stability,' but you might feel like even the ground which is under you right now is being shaken away. He's saying you are not even an object in this world. What kind of crazy talk is this? 'I came here to make this body-mind happy,' and he's saying that you are not this body. So ultimately the choice is that which will die or that which is beyond death. And that which is beyond death must be now. Can that which is deathless also come and go? If you have to wait for it, that means that it will be born, isn't it? If you have to wait for the Self to come, that means the Self is also born. And all that is born does die. If nothing which is born does not die, then that cannot be the eternal Self. So if we're not just fooling ourselves on and on with some kind of spiritual practices, then the Self must be here now. Otherwise, it is just not worth it. The Self will also come and go, and there is no point to that.

So that which comes, goes. The Self must be here. It must be unchanging. Is there anything like that? The sages have given us one more clue which is very helpful: that which witnesses all things that change. Many other clues, but these are enough. What witnesses everything that changes? This hand is moving. There is a perception of that, isn't it? But this perception is a constant? Even this perception comes and moves. Sight also—there is sight, then there is no sight again. What is aware of even this perception? What witnesses even sight? What is aware of your hearing? First we can look at what perceives this movement of the hand itself. Another clue from the sages is: rely on your own intuitive knowledge. Does the mind? I'm sure it will make up terms for all, 'Oh, this is how it is happening.' So what is it from your own experience? Who is the perceiver? What perceives all that changes? One more concept that has been picked up is helpful here because even these concepts have been constantly changed. All you have to rely on is your own insight.

I know this can feel a bit uncomfortable. It feels like all that I've learned in the past can seem a bit strange, can seem a bit wobbly. This inquiry is looking together so beautifully, so direct, that you can see in an instant that you are beyond death. Come to this immortal being. Don't even have to come to it. Drop your masks. You don't have to take a step. It might fall away. Drop your masks, let them fall away. What are you right now? The play of sensations goes on. Let them go on. A universal sensation, a visual appearance—are you a concept? Are you an emotion? What are you? Are you the soul? Are you Atma? Are you Brahman? Are you aware? All these words you've heard—consciousness—now it is time to throw them out. Look fresh and come up with a completely new word. You don't even have to rely on what the sages have called it in the past because that also then becomes a concept. Usually what is found is that in peeping into your own self, words become very few.

In this visual appearance, are you a concept? A new rule? Or a motion? What are you? Are you the soul? Are you Atma? Are you aware? All these words you've heard—consciousness—now it is time to throw them out. Come fresh and come up with a completely new world. You don't even have to rely on what the sages have called it in the past because that also then becomes a concept. Usually, what is found is that as you are peeping into your own self, easily words become very few. That is why I usually say it takes some time before what you are seeing can be put into articulation of words or conceptual descriptions. Enjoy this period of rest because you never know when it is the Satguru's will to start using this body as an instrument for sharing. Then enjoy your eloquence or the lack of articulation.

For some of you, the fact that the mind has given grief is there. 'But what can this be? It can't be so simple. But something... but how can I know if this is true? But I don't find anything.' Tell this 'but' machine to hit the road. For some of you, it might not be so much doubt like 'but, but, but.' Some of you will be like, 'Yeah, yeah, I've really understood something.' But you see, this is just conceptual garbage, just ideas. Put them down. The doubts and the proclamations are just forms of the mind resisting your utility, resisting your emptiness. The doubt and the proclamations are not needed here. You don't need to proclaim this truth to anyone, but I already know what you are because I know what I am. And I'm not saying this because I want to encourage some sort of humility here; this is not about some worldly humility. It is just that I know the nature of the mind, and it can grab you either with these doubts or with these conceptual proclamations of the truth.

Then words will come from your mouth one day which smell of your heart, and then I'm always happy to sit at your feet. Then you have to do yourself this favor of not exchanging the holiness of your presence, the divinity of your being, for just a concept of yourself. It might be a very well-dressed concept, but it is still not worthy of you. No concept can capture point zero zero zero zero zero one percent of your divinity, which is already here right now. If you build a mountain of concepts, can you build one physical atom with it? Can you build one ounce of love with it? One gram of devotion? With a huge mountain of concepts, it is not possible. Your existence is so pure. On any conceptual understanding, you will come to the limits of your perception and you will come to the limits of your reasoning and intellect, and that will not be even a scratch on the surface of your consciousness.

It is a big misunderstanding if some of you feel that the Master's plan is to destroy my ego and make nothing out of me. You let go of the false, and you will see that you are that whole thing which is the source of all things. You are much beyond even all things. This zero is beyond infinity. What will you do with the zero which is beyond the infinite? At which point do you become the basket? The world is changing, so everything that is changing we are going to put in the basket of appearances. The appearance is that which comes and goes. The world is changing, coming and going, so it goes in the basket of appearances. This body, as part of the world, actually should have already gone. But when you first consider the world and then this body separate, this body is changing: basket of appearances. Thoughts changing: basket of appearances. Emotions changing: basket of appearances. Sensations, pleasure, pain changing: basket of appearances. I'm going fast, actually, but when you're alone you can sit and do this. All things going one by one. Where am I now? Now in the basket, some concept might be there: 'soul exists.' A concept. Concepts also constantly changing: basket of appearances. What is left inside the basket? What wasn't thrown in the basket? Where are you? Outside? Inside? Outside and inside also changing; throw them in the basket of appearances. What is left is not that. The 'where am I' is your truth.

That's our favorite question these days as we come: what is real about you? What is not an appearance? Who is the 'you' that you represent? Is that real or is it just an appearance? Try this anyway. You have an opening, say hi, then check with yourselves: who am I representing? Who is this 'I' representing? This body? It would be so much simpler if you were just representing this body. If you like body identification, this body right now is not concerned about money in the bank account, or concerned about the manager or employees. It would not be concerned with relationships. It is not even concerned for the health of the body. It is that which claims to be the owner of all these things. So, not the body, not the relationship, not the money—the one that has the 'me' that seems to be the problem. Now, that is the mind. It is there, so you know it doesn't feel like an appearance because it's a changing good feeling. This 'I' wanted it, and it still kind of sits there in a subtle way until you recognize it.

All sorts of voices in their head, which when you step back you recognize. And I also have another experience of people who speak like this: 'This voice is just an appearance, the voice of the non-existent ego.' This voice in my head, so that also has a response which is just thoughts. What can the thoughts represent? Even when the heart is saying 'I am God,' it is a rotten thought. It is a rotten thought because the person is still feeling that he is God as a person. Okay? And I'm not speaking of any historical Ram, but I'm telling you about the concept. Ram is this spiritually good which can take on very fancy concepts and the self and what one monitors. It is just a thought; there's no true insight. So, by the proclamation of the mind, 'I am a person' as a concept may be simpler than 'I am God' as a concept. So, directing your insight towards your direct discovery of the Self is independent of what this voice in the head might be saying.