Without Your Story, What Are You? - 29th November 2017

Now you will come to realms where terms like boundary don't apply, space doesn't apply, time doesn't apply. And this is true about you right now. That you are all that you perceive, but you are not just that, because all that you perceive is also coming and going, but you are not coming and going. For me, this is good to yourself. You have to go to yourself. It can sound crazy. Actually, what does he mean? Body? What do you think in the sensation? Clothes? I should not feel anything? Sure, you don't exist. Even to not exist, you need to be aware that 'I don't exist.' This is the stability of the Self. We are even chasing this which cannot leave. It is so naturally here that everything else might come and go, but you cannot go. All that is phenomenal will come and go.

Quickly, come on. I like to play these kind of games. Now I say that if we were to put everything that can come and go in a basket, one by one: relationships, money, body—each all go in the basket. Criticism, because all are coming and going. What about thoughts? In the basket. Emotions? In the basket. All pleasure or pain? In the basket. So all are changing, constantly changing. Now when you put all of this in the basket, all of them, physical space around you is gone. Time is also changing, like sounds, everything gone. Where are you? Are you also in the basket? Is that you? When we look beyond all that is perceived, what do we find?

Now to many, a question will come. You come and say, 'But what about me? All this is fine, this is up to the ticket, but what about me?' And I say, which 'me' are you talking about? Is there a certain entity? How long will we cater to this 'me' that we cannot even find? In one retreat in Tiruvannamalai, one day we gave this 'me' a name. We said this is Mr. Rajan. Mr. Rajan says, 'I want freedom.' Oh, Mr. Rajan says, 'I want this for dinner. I want this for tomorrow. I want three children. I want to copy five houses.' So before he comes and starts making these demands to you, do you not ask him, 'But who are you?' I will give the start of catering. He says, 'Give me whole bread, whole grain bread for dinner.' You're saying, 'I want this, I want this. This is how I want my life to be. This is not what I want my life to be.' So, the one question 'Who am I?' was basically this question.

So who are you? Who are you representing? And you come for freedom, or for anything at all, even to find God—who are you representing? Tell me, or show your sides. What is your age? Were you born? And if I give something to one who is born, then that one will die. Anything I give for that, it will die with all its possessions, whatever it has. Introduce yourselves clearly. Who is it that you are? If you are able to show me your bondage, the real bondage, I promise you that I will give you freedom. But actually, in your looking, you will find that freedom only means that there never was bondage in the first place. This is only that we got caught up in the idea of individuality, of personality.

And now as I'm speaking to you about your divinity, it can sound a bit strange. It can even sound arrogant. If I say to you that you are God, you will say, 'That's all, I'm keeping the Self.' But you know, 'God' sounds too much, too much. It's arrogant, it's blasphemy. And yet at the same time, everyone says God is everywhere, without even noticing the apparent contradiction. How can there be a 'me' if God is everywhere? This is the only misunderstanding, the only confusion. It's about who you are. There is no real confusion about relationships, actually. There is no real confusion about security. There is no real confusion about anything. And ultimately, the confusion of our identity also is not a real confusion, but it can seem like all these confusions stem from confusion about identity. Is it so?

If you represent somebody that is limited, then know that that one will never find freedom. You see, there is no such thing as a freedom person, an enlightened person. An enlightened person is like saying the fist is open and closed at the same time. Between an open and closed fist, once you see that there is no person, then you see that there is only freedom and nothing prevents you from seeing this right now. Whether it's the first satsang or the thousandth satsang, the truth about you is the same. See, only sometimes these conditions seem to take some time before they wear off, before we are done with them. The notion that 'I am something' can seem very sticky, and many report that without the notion 'I am something,' just to remain in 'I am' can seem too wobbly. To remain motionless initially can seem a bit unsteady. Some report that it seems like the ground has been taken away from under our feet. But you're not falling, you are flying. The ground is being taken away, the limitation has been taken away.

How many of you agree that without the concept you cannot suffer? At least that much must be seen. When you suffer, you needed at least a notion, one notion. Now as we start this moment, you already have a concept. Like now, now, now, now, now. In this moment, now. It's not a stuck record; it quickly does that so that it doesn't give you time to think. You are into your old notions naturally. Therefore, it is the end of your suffering. If you were to hear this like children, it would be very simple. But because we hear it like grown-ups, our concepts are so deeply conditioned that we say, 'But, but, but, but, I think now you're free.' But because we hear with this conditioned mindset, either we feel, 'No, no, he's not talking about me,' or 'It can't be so true, it can't be so easy,' or 'This is just some hocus pocus.' But this is what we will come to recognize when you're done with this play of being a seeker. This is what you will come to recognize: that I have always been this.

You are aware of your existence this very moment, and this awareness does not move even if existence comes and goes. Even to say existence goes, you have to be aware of it. Even to say, 'I am not aware,' what you are actually saying is that 'I am aware that I am not aware.' It is an inescapable truth. So when sometimes somebody will come because they heard somebody saying that awareness is just a fallacy, we can just quickly check: am I aware of this, or is this just another concept for me? And if it is just down to the concept, then all concepts are worthless. And I'm aware of this, and this awareness is beyond this coming, this knowingness. Beyond all concepts, all perception, beyond all escapes. The waking state itself comes and goes. You see, we are so accustomed to our mind that we don't realize that we are magnificent. At any time, the universe seems so full of color and light. It dances in front of us and then goes, and then it comes back waiting to entertain us with some new drama, and there it goes. But I remain untouched, unmoved, unchanged. You will remain Shiva. Shiva dances for Shiva and then vanishes.

Now some of you will continue to struggle to try and figure this out, and maybe it is part of the play that this seeming struggle has to happen in that way. But I want to tell you that it is not needed. You will not figure this out. You will not compute this. You will stretch the limits of your mind, of your thoughts. You will go beyond all the reaches of your intellect, and within all of this, you will not find the Self. But the Self is aware of all of this. It is the most natural you. It is the most original you. Prime, go beyond primordial. That's what I said. The basket example can seem very simple, but it shows you your original nature—that everything can come and go, but you are unchanging. You don't have to believe this. It is not about belief anymore. It is just about looking with insight.

Beyond the contents of your mind, of your thoughts, you will go beyond all the riches of your intellect. And within all of this, you will not find the Self, but the Self is aware of all of this. It is the most natural you. It is the most original you. Go beyond primordial; that's what I said. The basket example can seem very simple, but choose your original nature. Everything can come and go, but you are unchanging. You don't have to believe this; it is not about belief anymore. It is just about looking with the innocence of a child, with unconditional openness. Don't listen to strangers that you don't know. So I am telling you now, you don't know who this mind is a representative of. Don't listen to that one. Stay with this voice. Stay with your intuitive presence, even if it doesn't seem to say anything, even if it feels like you're not making any progress. You will realize that the notion of progress was a myth.

A seeker says that she's made this holy pilgrimage to Thiruvannamalai. As often happens when you go to Thiruvannamalai, it seems like many times we can have this expectation that you will have a very blissful time. But what actually happens is that the mountain starts to burn everything which is false. All the concepts that we have been carrying without even knowing, nothing misses the mountain; the mountain misses nothing. So all this starts to burn. She is saying that the 'me' is burning, and no ground is there under my feet. This is the Prasad of Arunachala. Enjoy this blessing from the Satguru, of Shiva himself. It is often said in America, 'If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.' But here in satsang, especially when you go to Thiruvannamalai, it is like: if you can't stand the heat, stay in the kitchen. Allow all that is false to burn. Allow this burning to happen. This is what you want because this burning is not burning the reality of you. You cannot be burnt. You cannot be cut.

So when you say you're free now, on sensation, all those empty comments—including the 'me' saying, 'Oh, really?'—I mean, because it might be said, what's on that side of the attention? I am. So we got so used to making a report about ourselves on the basis of this side of attention. What is the content which is being reported? Exactly.

So that's right. All this line of being is actually thought to be taken seriously. There is no line, okay. But suppose this is the being, then on this side is all the perceptual being, pleasure, all of this is there. And you rightly said attention is to all of this. Now, what is attention reporting back to? So attention is like a fire. So I'm giving you all this funnel. It all arises from and cleanses, in a sense. It seems, I don't know if that's correct, like I can't... there's no attribute. There's nothing I can see. Even 'I am' seems to have again... it doesn't have any attribute, you see? You know, it's just... and all of this appearance is there, and yet it's not. 'I am' has no shape, or it seems like there is no nothing to grasp it, you know? There's no struggle if I try to grasp it.

And that is also seen. My own students who define it, yes, yes. Define, yeah. See, that's a gas because you're not trying to grasp something that you can't leave. I asked you, can you stop being? No. So you can't stop being, no? And yet being is not a tangible thing. It's not. Its emptiness, column, yes. It has no time and space, so you cannot give it spatial constructs or time-based ones. And there is no sensation to it, except that there's a qualitative tasting of 'I am,' but 'I exist now' versus 'I wasn't when there was sleep.' Yes.

So it almost seems like that's the only extension of awareness. Extension, yes, which has the qualitative sense of existence, but it is not separate from the Self. So, no. Okay, as I look further, I don't have second, subtle sensations, you know? Some of them are just very circular, and I know that they... even bliss is not me, even happiness is not me. Somehow this feels like I can go further back, you know? Just... and I can't see the mind. The mind is slowing, like I couldn't see the grasping reducing over the last few days. Is that which is trying to grasp still grasping? No. And it's clear that I'm not... there's nothing I can use to describe, but I got empty, no? What's been happening yesterday, I started seeing the mind-body kind of fight.

That's good, no? Because we don't even really know that. If I feel like I have a memory of what's been happening, the one who is the board, memory is released. Life... we don't know anything about the past, really, and we definitely don't know anything about the future. So all you have is that you exist now. Ultimately, even this existence is not your container. So if you don't go to anything past or future, we don't go with any interpretation or any sensation of anything on this side of 'I am.' Perception feels like... but is it a perceptual empty in the sense of, is it like an empty room? And what witnesses that? Is it empty or full? You will see that is not so. Although if I will force you and say you have to pick one, you'd say, 'Okay, empty is better.' Yes, actually it's true. So that's why we come to 'not applicable.' But if you start summarizing 'not applicable' to everything, then it won't make much sense. So we have to use terms like empty, use position, those unchanging. And yet you will see that nothing really applies to this. You are that nothing. Yes, apply it's a counter.

I think we're just watching it, Father. Use the mind, who struggles to understand this, and I can see the mind. It's not like the mind is here, the mind is so...

I'm saying to you, good that you're having... but it likes to pick. I've seen many, many times, you will be start, and then somebody came to me and started sharing. She said, 'Father, I feel so good right now that the mind cannot touch me. I'm happy to go playing with the mind for a bit.' And I said, 'Okay, it is your fate, which is okay, but don't go too far with it and continue to come to the satsang.' I've seen that so often. And I'm finding you again. We can feel like we can make a conclusion like joy, after all, which is so tricky. And you designed it—consciousness designed it that way—that you might feel like this when I dip my fingers in the design of this. Because even our best conclusions actually are sometimes the defense mechanism from the workplace of just not knowing anything.

Don't give me the spoiler for a movie. What will happen if you're looking forward to a movie and somebody comes and says, 'You know that episode of this show that you love? This is what happened at the end.' So then all this, which can feel like a so beautiful and key concept, you will not want a concept to define. Concepts will arise from you just in this way. As my team, like there are many of those work on separating some concepts from... read them of their concepts, but you will never take your own. So the nature of the mind is not your concern, no. How it is transitioning or not, nothing to do with you. What is happening in the body also, consciousness, consciousness. And your inquiry has brought you here, and this is surrender. All this event is not together, and this is your true inquiry. Here you are seeing that there is no difference, actually, because the other level has finally become irrelevant, whether you call it inquiry or surrender.

Now you've already seen that without a notion, you cannot suffer. Now the mind will use other tactics to convince you that you need a notion for something. Isn't it the case? 'Okay, this is fine for satsang, but when I go to work, how will I run my life?' This kind of idea. 'What if I just don't get up from bed at all without the notion and I have to go to work? What if I start doing some very irresponsible thing?' Even the mind will start giving you all these fears and doubts, and you will see through them because you will see that all the doing that has happened has not been the doing of an individual entity. There is nobody, like I've been conveying to each one of you. There is nobody right now speaking these words. These words are just appearing. In fact, your perception of them is the speaking of them. It is the perception of them which is the speaking of them. There is nobody either perceiving it or speaking. Hearing is happening. Leaving nothing here. Seeing, speaking is happening here. Hand movement seems to be happening.

So it is the mind will tell you the story of your doership, and it will say that as you are empty of notion, how will the doing happen? But you have never existed. So if you have never existed, that 'you' who is the individual doer has never existed. So that one has never existed; how is it doing something? And the non-existent one... it is a fallacy that has been believed. Actually, all of this is just happening in the light of consciousness in its own way. There is no doer or non-doer. Non-doership can become a position: 'I am not the doer.' I have seen the 'me' and not without pick up this position. And it is so sticky. I have had the most trouble with trying to shake them out of the non-dual supposition. 'You have not to do are you asking me to look to check but I'm not even non-doer itself becomes position.' Because you get used to calling ourselves the limited one again. And this is consciousness, consciousness, consciousness demanding conscious of its own reality. It is the play of consciousness.

But when we pick up a limited identity about ourselves, even the non-dual ship will become a physical when he leaves up something because of that. And he stops doing inquiry. 'I see I am not the doer, so focus on quiet.' Oh my god, that's also a position. Using what is the 'I' representing there? It is not the truth. It is still a limited notion. So the play of consciousness is playing with all these, you see, variations. All these variations, playing with all the ideas, measurements, and seeming to carry all of these outcomes. So neither the doer nor non-doer, neither desirer nor announcer. The older one says, 'Why we keep saying mine, mine? Where is the mine?'

Many times I've said this before, but the way you are so hard on the mind... the mind is also called axe murderer, is also called serial killer, also pickpocket, also aspects of consciousness. If your heart is longing for the truth, will you listen to a liar all day? These concepts do not help us see these notions. Don't be too quick. She says, 'Don't be too quick to call the mind your friend.' If everything is consciousness, then you will not even find those who are minding the mind. Thank you all so much for being in satsang today. Guru Sri Mooji Baba Ki Jai.