Which Side of 'I Am' Are You On? - 14th June 2017

You're trying to look at which is the 'I' which exists. So the sense of existence is here, and all that is perceived is moving in front of it in my being. They are contained within my being or perceived in front of my being. This is just terminology; don't get confused by it. All that can be perceived is here, moving: time, space, life, sound, gravity—everything is here. What we are looking for is what is on this side. So for this, this side should be allowed to move, and it's only for some time allowed to move in its own way for some time. But the exploration is on that which is on the other side. What is here? This is what we are looking at. This, in the middle of this illustration, is the sense of my existence: I am.

The nature of the mind is such that it can only focus on that which is moving on this side. What is on the other side, it cannot fathom in all sizes. So you know that the mind will not be able to help you coming to a recognition about this. It might offer you a concept about this, but it really can't help you with this recognition or insight about this. This insight has to be more primal, has to be more direct, without the interpretation of the mind. So if you lift the veil of phenomena, is there nothing else to 'I'? Is there nothing else to 'I' if you keep all phenomena away?

And as I was sharing last time, a simpler way to do the same exercise: if you put everything that you perceive in a basket called 'seen'. Everything that you could see, you put it in that basket. 'I see this,' so it goes into the basket. 'I see the world,' goes in the basket. 'I see the body,' goes in the basket. 'I perceive my breath,' goes in the basket. 'I perceive my thoughts, emotions,' goes in the basket. 'I perceive, I am aware of even the sense that I exist.' See, even this goes in the basket. So now, are you completely inside the basket, partly inside the basket, or not inside the basket at all? Wait until it settles. So we can let you see, put it in the basket of 'seen'. What is left outside the basket?

Now, some of you might be having now the experience of your non-phenomenal Self, when all the dynamic aspects of yourselves have been put in the basket. And the impulse sometimes can be that 'I need to hold on to this.' The impulse can be, 'I need to hold on to this.' But instead of that, today you try to put this or jump into the basket. Even that which is aware of every phenomena, can you put that also in the basket? Jump in completely and see if there continues to be an awareness, a witnessing of this basket in spite of all your attempts to jump in. Can you be contained in this phenomenal bucket, or is there a greater aspect of you? And 'greater' also, I know, is a spatial term so it doesn't fully apply, but you get the sense of what I am saying. Can the source of all phenomena itself get fully contained in the phenomenal basket?

So now we looked at two clues, isn't it? We looked at the first clue, which is to say that everything that is perceived, all phenomena, is on this side. Can we look at what's on this side? And another way of looking at the same thing was to use the basket metaphor to say that if everything that is perceived can be put inside this or encompassed in a label called 'seen', is there something which cannot be encompassed in this label? Let me give you one more clue. So I fix this table, and this one you heard from me before: the sense that I exist. Some of you are still struggling to find the sense of existence, and it seems just like a mythical entity, right? For some things, you know my favorite question for this is to try and stop being. Can you not be right now?

In your attempt to not be, you will encounter your own being, presence, which is just present. A being which is just consciousness itself. There are two ways to approach this question. The first way, when I say 'Can you stop being?', the first way you could do is you could say, 'No, of course not. What kind of question is that? I can't stop being.' That is the mental answer. The second way to approach this question is to actually make this attempt to not be, only for an instant, and exist. And you will notice your own being turn present. So you are now aware of your own presence. So you see the cost of being. Being is just here. So when this answer comes from a place of insight, then it is a useful answer.

Now the third clue is: which one is aware even of this being? What are the attributes of this one? What are the qualities? What is the flavor? Look at the size or shape of this one. It is now also naturally, effortlessly aware of your existence. Again, not about the reporting, it's not about the right answer. It is to use these questions to come to a direct insight about the unchanging Self. As you are asking yourselves these questions, you might find that something starts fluttering on the phenomenal side. It could be the mind, it could be some emotions, it could be some story, it could be the body, it could be your outside environment. So let all of these things just come and go. Consciousness itself has the power to do this. It is only playing as this thing in this direction.

So whatever has to jump around in the phenomenal side of it, we let that jump along. No sense of impatience or rush. Just stay with the question: what is aware of my existence? Some of you, the mind might be screaming and thinking, 'There's nothing there, there's nothing there. What's this about?' It's not enough to just know it is nothing. Actually, to know the mind is nothing is to actually be in denial of it. The idea of nothing is that it's like an empty glass, absence of phenomena. What you will discover about yourself is this is a 'no-thing', yet without attributes and qualities. I completely realize that these words don't make any sense to the mind, and yet as you come to the recognition of this, you will know what I am pointing to. Because although it is empty of quality and attributes, it is not the nothing of the empty room or the empty glass. It is the 'no-thing' which is the source of all things, the source of your own existence itself.

Awareness, the source of existence, implies the source of all intelligence, source of all that can be conceptualized, that can manifest within your own Self. So don't fall for the concept of nothing, although it is 'no-thing'. Come to the insight about this fullness which is the Self. On which side of 'I am' does this consciousness want to play now? On which side of 'I am' does this existence want to play? This does not mean, by the way, that once the recognition is available, once the recognition is made about the source of existence, it does not mean necessarily that the play of existence will stop. Already the play of existence can continue, but it will become the play with even the recognition of the source. Then, as much as we like, it doesn't truly seem like a claim because it can seem like 'I am a phenomenal entity contained in this phenomenal world and therefore can be affected by the phenomenal appearance and the disappearance.' And to see that your Self is the source of all phenomena and yet at the same time to remain untouched and unchanging, then phenomenal business starts to enjoy this like a play.

Also, mind can come with the trick and fear: 'This means that I must be in denial of phenomena.' In fact, we are saying the opposite. Be completely inclusive of all phenomenal appearances, but look beyond. You don't have to push away any phenomena. Include them in your experience, but also look beyond. And how to look beyond? The three simple pointers I shared today are already this. This is the direct path to the recognition of the Self. And most of you having been in Satsang, and since this link today we shared only with those who have mostly been with me for some time, most of you have insights about this. Direct insight of the Self is not something that seems like an abstract concept or something unachievable for most of you. All of this Satsang, all of this evening, is actually meant just for the transcendence of the limited idea we have about ourselves. As we are coming to the discovery of that which is prior to all phenomena, which is not constrained by any boundaries, we are allowing ourselves to be that which is prior to even consciousness itself. Consciousness itself coming to the recognition of its own source in its play of delusion and self-recognition with all that is happening now. So as you are coming to the recognition of the Self, mind will continue to make offerings to you.

Satsang is actually meant just for the transcendence of the limited idea we have about ourselves. As we are coming to the discovery of that which is prior to all phenomena, which is not constrained by any boundaries, we're allowing ourselves to be back—it is while even consciousness itself is coming to the recognition of its own source in its play of the illusion and felt recognition with all that is. So, as you are coming to the recognition of the Self, the mind will continue to make offerings to you, pointing you back to your limited nature, reminding you that you are a limited entity after all. In spite of your recognition otherwise, the mind will continue to make these appeals to you and come up with things like, 'It is okay for the satsang, but what about the real world?'

There's a limited self actually at first, and you are that, subtly or blatantly. In most messages from the mind, it contains the story of our limitedness, and in this story, you are a limited entity trying to get to the Self as well. That is why the recognition of what you are right now is important, because no matter what the circumstances might be, what the age of your body might be, anything, what the quality of your emotions might be, which kind of thoughts are becoming—so all of us in this room and online, the insight about the Self is the same. Therefore, this must be unchanging. The Self is ever-present, even more than ever. That is actually because since the Self is subject to the service, it is really limited ideas about yourself.

When I say your limited idea, which is this consciousness referring to consciousness itself, consciousness playing with ideas of limitations, posing as a limited entity, posing as a person, posing as if it exists—the mind in this Leela that is enslaved. So, satsang is nothing but these two aspects which are completely interlinked: the recognition of what is truly here, what is it that I truly am even before thoughts, and how is it that I hold as if I am something which is limited? How do I show that the time hood and the dissolution of this belief in this idea of limitation given the limits very strongly with a recognition of the service?

The recognition of the Self is interlinked with consistent giving itself the space for this recognition by not believing itself to be what the mind is saying. That way, the recognition of the Self and the letting go of limited concepts, letting go of our tones, are the two main aspects of direct satsang in the truth. Now it is up to you as consciousness: how will you move next? Which is a cup of all, or will you continue to remain with your insight about what you are? Consciousness is completely free. It is more amusing and ludicrous to presume that you are an entity laying on this side of your existence like a body-mind entity—whatever terminology you want to use—and more natural, actually, to feel that you are that which is aware even of this existence.

And that is why consciousness has given itself this divine hypnotizer called the mind. It is convinced for most of our existence that 'I am just a small entity laying on this side of my existence, that which can be perceived.' And so strong is the occurrence that the question should be: check, what is the source of my existence? Who am I really? Use the 'I' that with steam seems like a very rare question. And if you look at all of our players, with some grace, this question came into our life. If your mind is saying, 'I haven't understood anything, I'm sitting here for one hour and I'm going to tell you when speaking and I haven't got a clue what you're talking about,' don't worry about it. As Kabir Ji says, in a good way to look at it is that we have bypassed the mind because you're still here.

Reload connection per minute. Is everything still good? Audio, video? Here often boils down to defensive existence or portals. It goes both ways. The portal on this side is this entire phenomenal play of emotions and thoughts and stories and life and family relationships. And I'm not saying that we must vanish; the attention can also go to it, which is the little bit of attention towards on this side of the portal. If you put up looking as to the source of this 'I am,' what is the 'I' in 'I am'? And all of you have been in satsang long enough to hear this list. What is the 'I' in 'I am'? Why is it 'I am' and not 'you are'? It is 'I am aware of this entire existence.' So most objective in a way, isn't it? I am aware of this entire existence. So why don't we call it, 'Oh, you are presence, you are everything'? I am. Yeah, very good. And it shows we got it. 'I'—how can you lie? Even integration doesn't make sense. Let them get land somewhere. How come it is 'I'?

'I' with 'I' is actually a much-maligned word, especially in spirituality. They have maligned it completely. And that 'I,' I think, goes—I like very much how Mooji explains both. This 'I' is actually just a label with the chameleon 'I,' which is used for the entire spectrum. He says the devil uses 'I' and God uses 'I.' What it means is the mind posing as the Father's voice of imitation, who says 'I' uses 'I' for life, or the body uses 'I' for life, or our feelings—'I'm feeling so now'—thought for any sensation, we use the label 'I' for 'I am.' And beautifully, we use 'I' for that which is the source of 'I.' We also use the label 'I' for our attention many times in the satsang. This happens. You say, 'It's completely clear when sitting with you, so clear, but I get stuck in some tendency, I get stuck to my relationship, I get them which I get some.' We time you referring to our attention. 'I get stuck with my phone.' So, into our attention also as 'I' because 'I' is a label.

But what is the coolest 'I,' which is the 'I' to which I cannot say 'not this'? Also, we know about the practice of making it even look like a thing. 'I see it, I am witness of it.' And the subject, not the objects. So, not this matrix, this and this are getting this. And also not this and this of the association. If there comes a point to which we cannot say 'not this,' that point is where this is no longer phenomenal, and yet it is still 'I.' Like the visible fourth, you don't feel actually sometimes giving videos or futures to producing whatever that which cannot say 'not this' is so personally, inherently 'I.' That when we ask the question, 'Who is aware of this?' it points to this itself. It is so originally and inherently the Self. 'I'—when we ask the question, 'Who is aware of this?' it points back to itself. This is the point at which you're coming to the non-phenomenal recognition of yourself.

Some of the words that I'm saying today, as I'm hearing them also, I feel like it could be very nice if you read them. Did you hear them? If I think like it's just a bunch of words and a single bit complicated, but if you read them at your own pace, slowly looking at that which is pointed to, you will feel the simplicity of them. Something if you ask, 'Who is aware of the computer?' it takes it beyond the computer. 'Who is aware of this body?' takes us beyond the body. 'Who is aware of thoughts?' takes us beyond thoughts. 'Who is aware of emotion?' takes us beyond emotion. We survive even of existence; it could be beyond existence. 'Who is aware of this awareness?' with the point back to itself. This will be the Self, which is unshakeable, unchanging, unborn, undying, uninhibited, unavailable, reunited. For those who are clinging until soot can actually read the words and follow along at your own pace, digesting all of the pointing equal time.

Over a couple of questions before we connected, so I don't see them now. People ask and just type it again, I can have a look at that. Okay, Rahul. Rahul is here. Rahul says, 'Apology that mic isn't working, but it's okay. My question is: how will the Advaita teaching help in the temptation of food to indulge in addictive behaviors? It's just too strong. How will this Advaita teaching help when the temptation or pull to indulge in addictive behaviors is just too strong?' Usually, I say that I give whatever responses that come from players around the basis of direct experience. So let me not presume that I understand exactly how this must be. You have to find a particular for Vegas which I can point out.

One addictive behavior which is common to most of humanity, if not all of humanity, that is the primary addiction, which is an addiction to our thoughts, addiction to the mind. It might seem like it is not that harmful. It might seem like it would like it is not to wear with the minute someone is asked to let go to smile, to be empty of its many almost experience withdrawal symptoms, wanting to rush back to a concept which is to open and make it to not know. So not knowing the temples, not mentally know, to not have a conceptual position even right now. It is notice about yourself as you hear in this answer how conceptual position would be getting formed over there, either in the code of this kind of answer or in opposition to it.

So what we are talking about is the neutrality which is not this or against this. It is the not moving which allows the true knowing to emerge. And this knowing, the very strong addiction, because even for a few moments as we are left so now the conceptual positions, it contains to open and many experience a lot of fear because of this. So ergo openness, how to remain open or allowing on neutrality or emptiness—all these might seem like very simple ideals. So as you start to taste their openness and neutrality, we find this addiction to a mental concept about yourself. It can be popular concepts like, 'Oh, without the mind, without knowing anything, how will you pay your bills?' or 'To become a serial killer,' or 'You can just lie in bed all day.' These are the most popular people mine.

Without the mind, the cards cannot on the size, but they can be also very subtle, especially for those who are in satsang and spiritual solutions become very strong. I would much prefer it that we don't give in all this Advaita because even that can become a position business. What if we did behavior speaking from experience? If you're not a form of teaching although and nothing against Advaita, I am saying that the subtlety of taking positions with this—so we allow the dropping of all reference points to ourselves on the basis of any phenomena in my experience that leads us up in the song with addiction. And many who are going to attempt have also confirmed this. Mind is the strongest addiction of consciousness. I say engrossing sometimes health. This is the rehab for God himself, for God himself with one consequence because instead of God addicted to its own creation called the mind, and has also designed with all the spiritual paths and satsang for rehab fun by will we have.

Because if it is not an addiction, we need to have only one satsang. Actually, yeah, one satsang. If we hear the mind is talking about some limited entity that does not exist, who finished? The fact that we had more than thousand now is because of the persistence of this mental addiction. No that if conditioning doesn't pop off so easily because everything can become a condition, even our spirituality, even the pointing which are heard, even a statement like 'I am awareness' can become a position if it is just taken mentally, or 'I am consciousness,' 'I am that.' Any so because the mind also arrives with smartness of sneaking a chicken from the supreme intelligence or consciousness to the divine hypnotizer. That's why we come to satsang over and over again to be through these tricks of the mind.

So all the session moves in Allegan because for the mind, actually, openness of not knowing is maybe even worse than death. So the risks—it is always fight, we're giving you some concept to hold on to again. I apologize because I feel that your question was not so much about the mental addiction; it was about other addictive behavior, but I hope it's helped in some way. Okay, somebody needs a massage. Just assume Rhythm has a question he can ask. You can unmute his mic if it's working.

Namaste, Rhythm. Namaste. Have a camera on you, you will hate it. How are you doing?

I just wanted to ask you a very practical goal the—

It is always a fight when we're giving you some concept to hold on to. Again, I apologize because I feel that your question was not so much about the mental addiction; it was about other addictive behavior. But I hope it's helped in some way. Okay, somebody needs a massage. Just assume Rhythm has a question he can ask. You can unmute his mic if it's working.

Namaste. Now every day, unless they have a camera on you, you will hate it. How are you doing? I just wanted to ask you a very practical goal. Sometimes when I am going inward, you know, the bodily attachment reminds me—it finally boils down to feeling as if the body is the end of it. But the ultimate, the important notion, is one should be a little bit of this body and mind, like thinking in their boat mechanism of the whole process. But can you hopefully tell how do I get rid of this nonsense already, totally, from the final stage and being in the inward-looking stage without any trace of bodily attachment? I am finished. I haven't rolled asking you. Thank you. Thank you.

Good question. Before we take this a little bit even earlier, let me read it. When I said that the dance on this side will continue, our approach is not to try and push it away but to have an inclusion of those two. It's not to be in denial of it, but having included or closed to it. You have to be honorable that one could life-met anyone who is completely free, completely free from body as a thought. And it is definitely not the tightrope also. Sometime it's hundred percent idea. And the way you called it nonsense, I saw that there is a sense of aversion about it with the body. My advice would be not to fight the sources. We keep them in your being and yet by the book, and it is longer.

Where are we at? Found it down. And this increase in the proportion—are they appearing in two different spaces? Are they appearing auditions? But when I start contemplating or looking inward and I am able to, I am able to be in a no-thought stage, okay? And then finally when I come to the stage, I mean, and then when I go to the next step saying, 'Okay, I am able to be in a state without any thoughts and I am able to watch,' then when I look at this, who is the one who is watching? All these events, sometimes I get stuck at the body level. We mean my body, you know? So that is the final stage. Sometimes it is not always during, sometimes in an actual contemplation state I get that kind of thing. But the whole purpose of the inward-looking is getting defeated by that. I feel very frustrated when actually many times in that way. I would like to get rid of this, honestly.

I understand your fixation. That's why I am suggesting that, okay, let's do this together and see at which stage both of us get stuck. And the proof of the pudding is in the eating. So let's see if we can do this together. And that which you call defeated, let's see. The sensations of the body, you need something defeated or that takes us away from the inquiry. So for some time, don't try to push away the sensation of the body inside. Experience it fully, whether it is your arms, legs, chest, my head—any part of the body. Allow yourself to experience it. Is this the extent of all the phenomenal experience that you can have right now? No. You will see that even this voice that is being heard coming from the mouth of a seeming Ananta, it's also experienced. Other sounds on the rolls also. If you open your eyes, a lot of this phenomenal content is also experienced. My advice is to let all of these be, including the body.

Now the question is, what is it that is aware of all of this? So then the sensations of the body seem to come up and the mind says, 'This is me.' Ask yourselves: who witnesses both these sensations and the testimony from the mind saying it is me? Find out who witnesses this. So then instead of it seeming like a disease, the appearance of these sensations can add fuel to the self-inquiry by allowing you to focus on something and ask the question: who is the witness of that? And you will notice about the mind's specialty that as you allow it to come, then it runs out of moves. If you keep resisting the mind, it can seem to be very troublesome. If you tell the mind, 'Okay, what all do you want to say? Anything right now?' Can we run out of thinking and awake with use as you open? But if you say, 'Don't speak,' my mind kicks. One kick asks, 'Hello, hello,' only coming.

So if you can make this little bit of switching approach and allow all movement to happen, then we are not concerned whether the room is quiet or noisy, or whether thoughts are coming by the dozen. The mind aspires for the strong sensation though. There, everything that is coming, all you want to do is ask: what is it that witnesses this? And the more it comes, the more it is the opportunity to ask this question. I think it defeats you because the witness is unchanging. It is the mind's trick itself. It is this: 'Should change and then I'll be able to do the inquiry. My position with respect to the body must change and then that'll be the exit for inquiry. My thoughts should reduce and then I'll be able to inquire.' All of these also clicks on the mind only. So if you're not going anywhere, instead of using these as obstacles, you use these as opportunity.

When strong sensation is there in the body, what is it that witnesses this sensation? Is that also sensation? What is the most final sensation? It seems to be the sensation of being. What witnesses being then? As you open, as you are allowing, then all of these would seem like big obstacles because of our conditioning. Actually, it is because of the spiritual conditioning where you are told the body must be set aside, ego must be killed, this kind of thing. So then they become the condition. But I'm saying that without condition now, everything is this. Look at what this new system is. So again, I know I'm sorry, I said we do it together, maybe I went too fast.

No, no, no, no. It was perfectly all right. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. I got a very big, very useful cook-blow from you. Come at another stage. Thank you. Thank you.

Before we close today, maybe we can request Radha to sing us a song from our new recording she's made. She's made the recordings ahead and come back. Maybe she can sing something. It would be... That is all so, so, so much. Thank you. Thank you so much for being in person today. Satguru Sri Moojiji Ki Jai. Yes, no, that's almost. We are going to try them out. You tease them. They are going to some other office. Take all our clothes, all our pranams to routine and as envisions a motor copy do.