What Is Aware of Even This Existence? - 24th January 2018

Yes. So now, are you touched by any object or affected by them? Did it go away? And you were saying, didn't you, who saw it go away? Then you get attracted to a certain thing. So if there is attraction and attention, and attention wants to go to a specific object, what happens to the seeing? Attention makes use of the light of your seeing. Does attention exist because you exist, or do you exist because attention exists? Yes, but witness is dependent also on attention. Dependent? But can there be attention without this knowingness? You cannot testify to anything unless there is a knowingness of it. Therefore, you can use attention as just an aspect of you, but do not let it get in the way. If you do not have an idea that 'this is how it should be' for the Self or for the seeing, if you do not, you can have the notion pure and you just let everything be as it is. Not trying to get to any stage. Nothing wrong with closing them or opening them. Many times Ram says the same. Does that change anything for you in reality? Except the taste of your experience changes.

See, it's like saying that when you eat a fruit, you have all your attention on the fruit. Okay, it seems much more alive and vibrant because your attention is focused on that. This is where you receive it. So, are we talking about the quality of a phenomenal experience and the byproducts of it, which could be joy or peace, or are we talking about something fundamentally being different depending on whether eyes are closed or open? So what's stopping you? Closing your eyes as long as you want, as long as you want the taste of that consciousness. It's a beautiful thing. So what might seem like a burden, it's not a burden at all. It's included.

Actually, what I'm showing you is your presence. There is a prior state. Even that which you might be experiencing in the physical form of the Master is only arising because of your own presence, the existence of your own being. It is pointing to that. But thankfully, in the design of this play, it is designed like this so that until you find this for yourself within yourself, you don't get super distracted with anyone else. For some, it plays like that. I was sitting in a city called Rishikesh. So I've seen when I saw a lot of people, you meet yourself with your heart, or your heart fully. So what you're discovering is that you in reality are untouched by any phenomenal play, any sensation, anything. Then what about the one who just seemed to be touched or does seem to suffer because of its appearing and disappearing? What can we say about that? Is it even a part of the play? Like this hand is part of it, this is highlighted as some quality in my fingers. And then the one who suffers, is that a very tangible aspect even of the play? It seems real sometimes when a person is there, but when you look, what do you find?

In the light of your examples of the rope and the snake, because what you're asking is that when you truly look, you find that it does not have a tangible existence, but it seemed to be here before. It was an example of a mirage. Like any time on the road, especially these highways, you can see it. But as you get closer, you can see it's not there. Which is why the notion of the rope and the snake, or the other example is the silver and the oyster on the beach. They would be reflecting on these oysters as a silver line. So it is as straightforward as that. Actually, we should meet in Satsang from Monday to Friday. In the paper example, even further, the Guru was called the dispeller of darkness. He comes and you see the rope for what it is, you see the oyster.

So when I'm introducing you to you and saying that this is the light, you will see that the limited idea of 'me' really has no existence of itself. Whatever the first aspect of resistance might be, it's actually resistance in the world, letting go of this investment in the forms. It's almost like we created a big business around having a company that is going to go to the edge of the earth and jump off from there. Then as you try going, going, going, you saw that it's not flat, it's spherical. And because you invested your entire life in that idea, it felt like you have to keep going. Maybe if I kept going, I will come to the edge of this. Maybe here, maybe there. 'Oh, this sensation is coming, so I feel pain, this must mean I'm a person here.' Or 'I feel this stream, this must mean positive energy because I've been told that light means pure.' We're waiting mostly for conclusions to prove to us that it can't be this simple. The truth couldn't have been so obvious and easy because it makes us feel stupid for missing it all our life. Because we've associated all of these things we don't know with a non-existent one. And you use the appearance of these sensations to prove to us that it must exist. That's why I call it circumstantial evidence, not real evidence. Just like you see some signs, like 'this must mean that there is an ego there.' You see that it's not done so. And if I'm not done, then in Satsang long enough, I will almost argue with you.

It's not like you expected. I'm a mystery. Yeah, it's just that this is like, you could say, the small 'i'. I think I can just... yes, the big idea exists. That's what I'm putting as the ego. But it's not like this. The ego as separate from me is that this life, as if it would be you having me even within belief. It was just a notion 'I am something' which is a smaller 'i'. Ever has any of you existed as that? In fact, it is the snake itself, the notion of the snake itself. 'I am something', isn't it? Does this because the children here... it's me. It's more like what Ananta says about, you know, when I did something, should it be the notion? It's okay, so maybe it is, but without that basis, it will not add on. 'Oh my god, I am something' is always like 'I am this something which should have...' and it's just disturbing those beliefs for Baba. But obviously, the core of it is a central 'I' and then there's some behavior which seems to be more... this is what I guess, like, yeah, okay. Say for example, some behavior I notice seems to be more towards this individual. I found a moment... is that just a belief?

Yeah, all the time. Yeah, it is concerned. And as Consciousness is believing itself to be limited or something, usually it exhibits a certain set of behaviors. This is true. But because a certain set of behaviors is being exhibited doesn't mean that Consciousness actually became limited. And what is that behavior? It is usually encompassed under the common theme, which is 'What's in it for me?'. It might seem like something greater, but even that is thinking. For example, amongst attributes, when you are talking about ego, a big part of it is trying to control what should appear in my experiences, to manipulate life only so that for the 'me', I get only these sets of experiences and not those. And that has so much play in this way of trying to control attention, trying to control relationships. Even spiritual life has so much play of trying to control our attention, trying to control our relationships, and even trying to control our spiritual life because we have an idea of what should appear in my field of perception. Definitely, I can see there's some concepts about how somebody who's spiritual is, or how somebody who is... exactly. There's nobody who's spiritual based on this. And a lot of this goes back to the idea that even the notion that 'I'm a spiritual being contained in this body' or something like that. So the being that you're being introduced to...

We try to control our relationships and even try to control our spiritual life because we have an idea of what should appear in my realm of perception. I can see there's some concepts about how somebody who's spiritual is, or where there is somebody who is exactly this or that. There's nobody who's spiritual based on this, and a lot of this goes back to the idea that even the notion that 'I'm a spiritual being contained in this body' or something like that. So, the being that you'll be introduced to in satsang is not contained in the body, but it is not contained in this phenomenal universe at all.

Maybe something like this: if I also say to you, 'I will take you in my flight,' which in five minutes will take you to the moon, many have signed up for this space travel, right? And they know they're not coming back; they're willing to give up their life for this space travel. But I'm taking you outside this universe in a second. Let's meet yourself. Of course, if you like, you have to give up your back to have this meeting in this way. But what you're meeting, this can be a conclusion that 'I'm leaving something inside my body.' No, it is beyond time and space. Your being is independent of all these phenomenal objects which can seem so large, but you are not contained in there.

So you said when you say something like that, I feel like... since we do today, people win the lottery, at the same time, is it that I don't believe it? I don't think so. It's that something's maybe saying, 'Okay, I know,' but what you're talking about is... it already might feel somehow, but yeah, I can't fully really... yes, everything, because it's good. So, if those who restrain the point and to say, 'Okay, you can have a billion dollars, but you can't exist for all other experience,' you see? But actually, what is happening is that it's just that... will take me program. It's like Mom's cooking. Appearances anyway, strong and beautiful, but your Mom's cooking might be better than that. But you know that she's always there till you have to move to a different city. Then you start craving. Say, when you come back home, you don't want to go to a restaurant or anything; it's just one. So, because our existence is such a natural... it is our existence, it is always, we can feel like, 'What's the big deal in there?' Now, there's no trouble with that except that it is almost like... almost like begging for things and you have the biggest idea in the world already. So, the example will be more clear if it was... it won't matter, lunch ready for you, yeah, but you will go house to house asking for some food. 'Can I have this? Have some?' Example, I feel the same way.

Interesting. So it seems like when you say... if you would say to me, it seems like the only thing that is stopping me recognizing is that I'm waiting for some excitement, some sensations, not just in a metaphysical sense, but also still to a lesser degree, I will say. And that's not... and you realize the irony in that? Do you mean that is that we step out from time and space and be still because something has to change in time and space to convince us that we stepped out? You see, that is the thing. Put your own experience in that. You are not contained by any boundary, including time and space. Your existence is a search item for time. The point leads the movement of time. So, if we after the weekend system, then we have to refer back through this emotional time. It will be like a mini interchange for the coconut, which is contained in time and space. For me to see that I am beyond... it's like, it really is what I'm saying is like there's no steps to make. Slightly, did you know you're out? Then if you look at the me, Timothy, and some more like that, because I don't have to, as long as it is clear that I exist and I'm aware of this existence.

That which is aware of existence has no quality which could contain it, no quality which could perfect it, no quality which could bring something to it. It is not aged in time. It is undetermined, bigger than hollow in space, unaffected by all of these forces: gravity, electricity, and this for its own dancing in the scratch. Yes, I see. So, as an example, if they see something outside, see that what I'm going to talk about, yeah, say that's the example's world sense, pain sense, the kind of true. So, something is very much scratched in little that seems to be something is going to work.

So in this realm of qualities, all qualities are available and they will be experienced. But the point is that there is no individual experiencer which is actually hurt or truly overwhelmed by any quality. Only the notion that we have about ourselves, that's when you see the mind, it makes sense. This is the mind that is overwhelmed by the appearance of something. Then what you're truly discovering about yourself is that in the space of your existence, it is beyond even this spacious space. It contains even this. So nothing can really overwhelm. Hundreds of kilograms of guilt, thousands of kilograms of guilt—this is all in the realm of quality. All this is created, but you are finding yourself to be beyond the realm of quality. And yet, all of these can carry their own unique taste, but can never be true that something becomes too much for the reality of you, because it's only able to be too much for a notion. It could not create a mental boundary of what you were then, all these appearances.

But actually, it's what if I was to say that only in theory is it one thing? The mind will always give you a perspective. It seems to be so positive what is being said. It can seem like, between the view at a level of theory, it sounds good and it complies with the scriptures and what the city life curating. Yeah, intellectually I can agree with you, but actually you need your reasoning or intellect to disagree. Then you check for yourself. Then do you find anything in this qualitative realm which is bigger than your existence? I think it's just consistent conditioning which is like, first of all, really insists on separateness to be intact, and then also it's kind of a program. So the moment you say like, 'Okay, so what experience thousand beings?' It's yeah, I would think, you know, it's like obviously, you know. But even in this visual, you looked in investigation because the mind comes up with a super-scary function like that.

So they say, 'Okay, I can burn in the fire of hell for ten thousand years,' and say, 'Okay, which part of me can burn there?' Is that one that body can feel? No pain. Now, this pain, does it hurt the entirety of you, or there is still something about you which can say, no matter what the pain is, that 'I am untouched'? This is the invitation for the investigation. And it's only after this investigation the sages have said... I feel it was Peter who said first, 'The world has to go because the body has to go.' That is some little bit scary type of anybody. And if I was to say that you are already this, this is the one which can pick within, change our starting point to the presumed one. And that's what it is, you know, you must notice so much of my focus is on: what is the starting point now? And we find the one that wants to find, the one that wants to... we can only find you.

It's also even though I feel like that's the truth, it would feel not offensive for me to say it. And so then when I'm here, say you say, I feel like that's what creates a distance. What I feel like, 'Okay, I'm not in, not staying yet where I can say it's just consciously,' and that creates a very important... because and what I'm saying is that if you want to throw away everything that you think and everything that I say, what is the insight that you are having about yourself? And I'm proposing to you that what I'm sharing in satsang resonates with that deep insight. But you have to tell me that, 'No, you know how when I check really about what I am and where I am, what you think does not resonate with them and what I am thinking actually resonates with them.' And if you see that, then of course then I would not say it.

Oh, don't go just with what the mind is saying. I am just opposing that. Let's put on my name's presume that what the mind is saying about you is not the truth about you. See if upon your own investigation you find that the words of someone true or for the mind is a mystery. So first you see this for yourself, and then when you see this for yourself, then you'll find that out. Should I be lewd? Someone moves under going off the screen is not a power button that you have to solve in here because in the light of your existence, automatically there what flows is flow, this flow. So what matches more your insight about yourself? Is your thinking matching more, or it is what you're hearing in satsang matching? So that is where it is important because we have to have our own discovery as a loophole. This world terms of some pages, the pointers, big interest includes for your exploration.

Good. But if it just becomes about two different types of concepts that you have to deal with, only the concept that 'Oh, I am in this life,' it seemed like very with it. So I know that happened, and the natural way in this world is to become this voice in some really which is seeing. But yes, it's a yourself whether it is food. Take my word for it, don't disbelieve, but just be open enough to check for yourself. And if at some point there is a disconnect, then I'm very happy to other words that the mind is saying that you are limited and this sounds like a very convenient escapism or something like that. And I know the mind will say so. I am not inviting you to escape from reality; I'm actually inviting you to look at it without any glass at all.

In could be you, you, you, this will go. You look scared. Why don't what come in? Like each teacher is there, which environment you're in there. You are in a war zone or your nice place. If you learn to live around you, move inside a good stay. You can't be so chic. Somebody said, 'If I see someone come along, you can't see it, you have to just take my word for it.' Say, para, this must be the... if I will through your long another insight, what did we catch? A little one is just words. So I guess in a way what brings me... I mean obviously what brings the greatest peace is just to drop.

Yes, but what I'm saying is that I like to be disbarred even better than that. Yes, that is true. It's for the sake of truth, not even for peace. I mean, it was when we were saying, 'What is true?' I just want that. Well, while I'm not going to care about the byproducts of that, what is true? What is real? I want to know what is real about me that I mean whose conscience. Yeah, I guess it's just enough to watch the something here is that even to take the standpoint but, 'Okay, that doesn't necessarily feel true,' that's also... but it isn't because I'm looking at some sensation in servicing our house doesn't feel very good. So this except for a very good step you think, 'I'm looking at that sensation.' Yeah, the mind is interpreting that sensation to mean that this could not be true for me. You're watching this entire and then speak 174.

So I am this irony. This 'I' is it truly affected or hurt by the sensation? If you want to inquire if that be so, the other way which you said it looks very nice: the blue comes and you leave it unmolested. You see, it does it all and so on. Well, I'm saying that even if you were to take it through the level to go outermost extremes of your intellect and reasoning, to stretch yourself out completely and you go beyond intellect and giving, you would see that the highest is there. I am there untouched even by my conclusion, the world of myself. But I mean the petition from same things for this part is for those who have like her in inquiring temperament. So go beyond that, trace the question that for those who actually have this question tendency more heart. I think if you decide to get to the bottom, if you will to unexplored somewhere, then it can feel like it's a tough here just by. Do you take on this explorer hat and wear it then completely? Indiana Jones. Okay, what's behind that door? I mean scary though, please, do we come to another excavations of them like, 'Oh, this is going to be when I have some big snake,' and this is that, that's why the m...

So go beyond that. Trace the question for those who actually have this question tendency more at heart. I think if you decide to get to the bottom, if you will, to unexplored somewhere, then it can feel like it's tough here. Just do you take on this explorer hat and wear it then? Completely Indiana Jones. Okay, what's behind that door? It may be scary, though. Please, do we come to another excavation of them? Like, oh, this is going to be when I have some big snake and this is that, that's why the monster is there today. It's more like surrender is then obviously definitely required. I always succeed in it, not in my... that's what it's just this thing about. Never what you are on the earth, something is right here. So use that look that I'm pushing some button. Use that for your information. Okay, is this really true? Just as this tree is this my experience? And I need to stop this in reality. You just let emotion be pounded. Some scriptures to make us feel good. Have that exploration like it's fun.

Upon us at thirty, please help me be rid of these oscillations from include to inside and then experiencing all these emotions we experience. I have been trying to because the spiritual protection in Hawaii...

So she's saying that 'I'm tired of this.' I know that, you know, the answer is that whatever you are tired of is already gone unless you've become some idea of past and future. So one who is just seeing this right now, I disagree independently of whatever might have happened and whatever is going to happen. My truth, my being, is untouched by any experience. Or you can ask yourself: so who is this 'me' that is tired? But what will become the journey, what will become seemingly cumbersome, is that if I also start buying into the idea of this 'me,' then we start dealing with the situation pretending that there is a 'me' here and a 'me' there and both these 'me's are back to help each other. What is remaining in battery? So if I say to you that the one who asked for help has been helped and is gone now, you are fresh. They will sound like mystical... what can I say? This lady that we can't help people, isn't this what we're not seeking? And you're writing in caps now: 'We live in it, not seeking permanently using my total weight.' I wouldn't shout at it. Well, it's not seeking prominently here that I'm always fresh in the moment and keeping it. This is just a habit. The release of satsang is for this habit. If this habit was not there, you would see that this is so true, what is being spoken. Your being is complete and fresh, has no past, has no future. It is all there is.

So apparently, and a being itself had not picked up this play of picking up the limited ideas about itself, then you will not present this on every deal. But no matter what the conditioning is, we all feel like we have some special conditioning that seems to be the most key, but actually all of humanity seems to be struggling with the same. All the fibers in boots. And blessed are those who are able to get this glimpse of this being, this freshness, this stillness, even for a moment. Adela, so I'm saying could I just stay like this? One is it could be... maybe we can be a little bit grateful to say that I'm so blessed that amongst the thousands of me said back in this world, I have at least had a few moments of this definition. How am I talking of families and said some open want to be cool that you know more in something? It won't even add a common purpose. This kind of instead of grasping for life like this, I kind of have more work than all of this. There's more the sense of 'I see now our thing,' then something seems to settle more easily. Thank you all so much for being in satsang today. Guru Baba.