Try to Stop Being and You See You Can't Stop - 9th January 2018
Saar (Essence)
Ananta guides the seeker to recognize the unchanging awareness that precedes even the sense of existence, pointing out that while the 'I Am' arises upon waking, the ultimate truth is the one aware of all states.
You cannot stop being; this existence is present and cannot be stopped.
You were there as 'no thing' to have the experience of nothing in deep sleep.
The ultimate truth is that which is aware of the coming and going of even the waking state.
contemplative
Transcript
This transcript is auto-generated and may contain errors.
Also sometimes it felt like even to ask this, sometimes it just goes, you know? There's no point. But just because it comes from time to time, I think it's... I know it's good because we can all look at this together. Sometimes it feels so real, so I feel those moments are still coming when I feel identified. So maybe it's just to drink it up, maybe to get to this sense of existence that I am speaking on.
The simple thing you have to do is try to stop being. And you know this, you heard this from me. So this, you try to stop being, you see quickly that that's absurd. You can't stop. So this being, which is just present, cannot be stopped. Is this existence that I'm talking about. Now you are aware of this, isn't it? Otherwise it will have to be somebody else's report that 'I can't stop being.'
It feels like I would call it as well like gorgeous, as like non-phenomenal feeling. It would be same, same feeling as 'I am' or 'I am aware.' So yeah, maybe I could say more like... because it's not any of the body sensations nor thoughts, and none of the thoughts can be aware of the feelings, and none of the feelings can be aware of what... but something else is there. So it cannot be touched, cannot be seen, and this is the only way I can know it, but it's known like this.
Yeah. So how did you wake up today? You don't have to be so... what changed at 6:30?
I became aware, consciously aware. Like this, as long as just this little qualitative difference is perceived. There was no thing and suddenly here I was, and the time seemed to be 6:30.
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So actually it is oneself. We don't have to be so concerned about this, but this qualitative distinction of existing and that which is even before the sense of existence, before 'I am,' is here. So to see that there was nothing, otherwise the sleep state would be like a mythical thing. It's not a mythical thing. I say, 'Did you go to sleep last night?' 'Yeah.' So it is your experience, but it is an experience where there was nothing. Yeah? But you were still there as no-thing to have the experience of nothing. And then the most primal appearance arises: 'I am.' 'I existed at 6:30 a.m.'
Would be more my... my experience would be 'I exist' and now I'm starting to be aware of the body sensations and mind sensations.
Yes, but first you have to be there for any sensation, isn't it? Has there been any sensation without you there? You know?
Yeah, and then I'm... and then I become aware about it, or I'm not aware, but just if it's knowing that I exist, not as the body or not as mind. Because it takes you a moment or two to even... you can tell that this body is here. You might not have looked at it so closely, but in the first moment we're reconciling which world this is, what is here now. So but all of this reconciliation happens after you exist.
So this is the sense of existence in the waking state. The best we can do, the truth we can speak, is 'I am.' But ultimately even this is not the ultimate truth or the final truth, because that which is aware of the coming and going of even the states of waking, dreams, deep meditative states—that one is the one unchanging. But it is not... this does not mean that there is a distinction. That's why if the useful analogy is the finger and it just started basically... one is aware of itself kind of. It is all there is, no different. Non-phenomenal sensation of awareness and non-phenomenal sensation of 'I am,' let's say. For example, right now we don't have to worry. If you really wanted to get into it, then you would say that you are aware of your existence. Yeah? The body just switched, we're okay. Can you stop being?
Yeah, I just... I feel...
Stop being is a little bit different question. Are you aware now? But it is only a qualitative distinction and you don't have to stress about it. Okay? So yeah, it's not that sometimes you can go to 'I am' and sometimes go to awareness. It's the same thing. It's just the ones, the ones.
The Thread Continues
These satsangs touch the same silence.
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