This Recognition is Un-miss-able - 29th June 2016

So if you didn't know anything... because such a thing actually is very, very frustrating for the mind. It has some glimpses of freedom, it feels like the person will get some freedom now, but very quickly you come to the conclusion that there is nothing personal which is happening here. You see? And as it's coming to that, then some frustration will come.

Yeah, and then just to your point, I want to just also just lay at your feet and expose and surrender this. You're exactly right, because when I see other people getting it in satsang and I'm not getting it, that just irritates me. I just want to expose my mind of that. Then I get irritated that I'm irritated that other people are getting it, because it should be easy.

It's easy. You pick up the first course of the meal and you go through the entire seven courses. First, you buy some idea about somebody getting it. Then you bite the idea, 'Why am I not getting it?' Then you buy the idea that 'I should not be jealous of someone else getting it.' Then you buy the idea, 'I'm so unworthy, and not only am I not getting it, I'm also unworthy because I still feel jealous and resentment towards the Sangha.' So you just buy this one idea, you see? The starter. You just nibble at the starter and soon you're finding yourself eating the tiramisu at the end of the meal or something. Just like in all of this, there is no 'I' like this who will get it. You see? There is nobody on this earth who can be getting it, but nobody is getting it personally. You see? If anyone is proclaiming that they got it personally, then that is just spiritual ego, because nobody is getting anything if there is a getting involved that they were not already that.

So there could be two aspects to this. The first aspect could be: why is the seeing in others the truth of what they are, and where I am in with the recognition? I ask you yourself, see, then I ask 'Am I aware now?' It becomes very clear. Awareness is here. Who is aware of this awareness? Awareness itself. You see? So this recognition is unmissable, actually. The recognition is unmissable. You see? So whether your mind certifies the recognition or not, it is impossible to openly ask the question 'Am I aware now?' for the recognition not to happen. Awareness is here. Who knows that? Awareness itself. Who's coming to the recognition? Your dynamic aspect, which is consciousness. Do not try to understand these words because the understanding will only be the mind's attempt to get it. You see? And if it is getting frustrated that it is not getting it, it is better that it just gives up trying to get it.

So this is the first aspect, which is the recognition of the truth of what you are. This is how come there are others who don't seem like they are waiting and I still seem to go along with my mind. You see? So that which we call the dropping of the conditioning or the dropping of the belief system of the person... but often I have said that it's only about the right now. If right now you are not believing what your thoughts are saying, what your thought is saying, then you are as free as the Buddha ever was in the right now. That's all there is to it. Right now, if there is a simple allowing of these thoughts to come and go, they cannot prey on you and you are as free as can be. You see? Thoughts will continue to sprout. There are some who don't seem to be picking up from this conveyor belt of thoughts, and the conveyor belt of thought is not even attractive to them anymore. How to rid themselves of this? Just by not picking up the one that is appearing now. That's all there is to it.

But if you pick up some idea about it, then we create separation again. 'Oh, I am like this, they are like this.' Any idea about this is not serving the truth of what you are. The mind will come and say, 'What? This is a practice? Why must I do a practice?' Actually, it is the dropping of the practice of believing these thoughts that is the practice. That is the doing. We are dropping this malpractice, actually. So all that is needed, if it feels like there is something needed, then all that is needed is to be open in this moment and allow these thoughts to just be tourists and allow them to come and go. Then you will not be doing the mixing of thoughts and emotions and making guilt, frustration, all of these 'great B' emotions, as I call them. You see? By continuing to do it, you will not be rid of them. So by continuing to consume, 'Why am I not rid of them? Why am I not rid of them?' you are not getting rid of them. It's just about right now. Can we remain open? Can we remain in this neutrality of allowing the thought to come and go?

There was one more aspect to your question, which was that between the pointings—between 'don't believe your next thought,' 'can I stop being now,' and 'am I aware now'—they are all interrelated, actually. One is not independent of another because even 'don't believe your next thought' will not work as a personal strategy. If you feel that 'I will just use the technique don't believe your next thought and I will become free,' it will not work because if the presumed idea is there, if the dominant idea is still of being a person, then you will find just like you are reporting that, 'Oh, when the thoughts come, then the belief just goes,' because there is belief in the idea of personhood. You see?

So if you find that the pointing 'Am I aware now?' shows you that there is no person here, then as you keep contemplating this question, as you keep recognizing yourself, you will also find the other two pointings become more natural and simpler. So the recognition of who we are helps us not to believe that which is false. Once we recognize that the sun comes from the east, although our belief system could be that the sun comes from the west and the mind keeps repeating it, once we check, the next time when the mind comes, you will not buy it so easily. You see? 'But I saw, I saw it came from the east. I saw there is no person here.' But still the mind will come with its doubts and say, 'Maybe that was just for today,' you see, 'it was an exception,' or 'Maybe you were just faking it, you didn't really see the sun from the east.' You see? It will come up with all of the reactions. Then what to do? Then check again. And again when you check, you see it comes from the east. So in this way, the belief system is also crumbling. And when the next thought comes, 'No, no, did you really see it coming from the east? Maybe you are just faking it,' then the belief doesn't go strongly into this thought.

So it is not necessarily linear, although for many it seems easier to drop our belief in the next thought, and initially the pointing 'Am I aware now?' seems much more abstract. But it doesn't have to be that way. If you're getting the moments of recognition—yes, awareness is here and awareness is aware of it, and I as being am coming to this recognition—you see, even without this explanation, any time you will see that something becomes peaceful, but I am not able to explain what happened. So don't worry about the reporting and the explanation. You see? So just this recognition is happening with this pointing, and you will find automatically the belief will not go so much because none of your thoughts apply to the formless awareness. All thoughts are about form. Even the thought 'I am formless' implies that there is a form which now is formless or something like this. Who is the one that is trying to become free? Who is trying to use these pointers?

Yeah, that one is... that one is observed as well.

As what? How do you do it? Is it even observed or just presumed?

I mean, that's a good question. It's... I mean I can see in my mind sort of when I look at it—I want to say my mind's eye, but that doesn't seem right—but like I can see myself doing the seeking. So that's what I mean when I say it's observed.

Let's slow it down. Let's slow it down. So you say, 'I see myself seeking.' You see, actually you will find that you see that this thought 'I am seeking' can come and go. The thought is seen. The movements of the body are seen. You see? So is it this mix of what you are calling 'I see myself seeking'? Is this the movement combination, the body-mind complex that we say 'I see myself seeking'? So is the body-mind what you are? Is it just a set of appearances?

Well, I see that there is some greater space from which this body-mind doing its seeking thing and praying thing and frustration thing... like I see it from some space above it, if you will.

But do you see the seeker, or are you calling the seeker just this body-mind combination?

I'm just calling the body-mind combination the seeker, but I haven't identified any physical sort of entity called the seeker.

Yes, because it doesn't exist. Because it doesn't exist. You see, the body is just an appearance in the right now. It is an experiencing set of sensations. Thoughts are just appearances coming and going. You see? So there is no entity which makes up this body-mind. You see? They are all just appearances. When there is a thought, we call it the mind, but when there is no thought, there is no mind. You see? Then there is an experience of a sensation of the body, then there is body. If there is no sensation experience, there is no body. There is no ear unless I experience some sensation of the ear. This is our experience, isn't it?

Right.

You see? So the seeker is just a presumed entity, just a presumption that is the supposedly owner of this body-mind or the supposed combination of the body-mind. But there is no such entity. The body is just the body; it is not seeking anything at all. The thoughts are coming and going. You see? So when the thought is there, we call it mind; thought is not there, we call it no-mind. So there is no seeker. That's why I prefer to say that the ego is just a presumption rather than actually seen—not even an imagination, it is just a presumption. You see? So where does this yearning come from? This yearning for the truth? Is it the seeker creating this, or is it coming from somewhere else?

The yearning is the sweet longing to drop this false identity, which is like consciousness itself saying, 'I am done with this play,' or the child saying, 'I am tired of this playground, I want to get back home.' You see? So the yearning, you will find—if it is what I feel it is, this longing or this yearning—you will find that it has a different quality as compared to frustration. Yearning is this longing for freedom. You see? So this is just, you know, an inner alarm clock saying this play is getting too tiresome now, it's time to rest at home. You see? Now don't give this one to the mind, because it will make an idea of what the yearning wants or what the longing wants, and then when it feels like it's getting to that idea, then it will feel a sense of specialness. And when it feels it doesn't look like I'm getting there, then it will create a sense of frustration. So don't give it to the mind at all. Let the yearning, the longing be. It's all part of the same grace which is getting you to satsang, that has made you open to the inquiry. You see? It's all part of that same grace.