This Light of Presence Cannot Be Stopped - 7th July 2016

Yes.

Who is aware of this awareness? The hard answer is there's an awareness. You're reporting that there is an awareness. Who is aware of this awareness? Don't try to answer it, just look. Beautiful question, because here most concepts, most visualization, most of what the mind can give you as answers, as concepts in response to this, starts to feel... no.

Yes, then it's so beautiful. Depth. I can say is I'm aware of this being. Of course, I'm aware of the being. When I say, 'Who is aware of this awareness?' what is the confusion?

The conclusion is because the mind is lost. Because you know the answer is true, and yet you do not see anything to confirm the answer. This is the only answer like this: you know it is true, but you find no phenomenal evidence to confirm it.

Yes. Yeah, yeah.

And it's okay. This maybe is a beautiful exercise then to look, and you see that you don't... nobody is aware of it. We don't say there is no awareness of it; obviously, there is an awareness of it. Who is aware of it? It is I. I know this, but I am scared to report it because I don't find this phenomenally to be able to report it. Because we know it is I who is aware, as nobody else is telling me. So this is my way to introduce you to your non-phenomenal Self. And as you get more and more comfortable in this, and who your own being... awareness of already comfortable reservation... your own being is losing all other ideas about itself and recognizing its source to be this non-phenomenal one.

It's stuck here. Using the mind gets stuck here. There's nowhere to go. Cannot say, 'No, I'm not aware.' Then who is? Who is it? It cannot say that. You cannot deny the existence of this awareness, and yet there is nothing phenomenal that it finds. For everything else, we rely on something phenomenal to confirm its existence, isn't it? They are there. How many hands? One, two... two hands. Everything else is a phenomenal confirmation. Here, we know this already: I am aware. Yeah, obviously I am aware. But this 'I' is not seen. How do I know I am awareness? It gets lost here. Is it good?

So the truest answer is not for the mind. The recognition will not be for the mind because it's not a phenomenal recognition. And it is not even a recognition, actually, because it is always recognized that this is true. There is a sense...

There's... yes, exactly, exactly. Yeah, it's just like this turning over of attention into nothingness almost, and yet it is not the disappearance of this awareness. My mind's afraid to have nothing.

Yes, of course, because for the mind, nothing means death, and death is terrible for the mind, you see? So it does not want to die. And that is why it is in this point, at this question, that it will offer up all kinds of ideas, concepts, spiritual understanding, you know? How you want to do some analysis of the truth, this kind of stuff.

Yeah, yes, yes.

So I said, 'Can you stop being now?' You see, no. You are aware that this being is here?

Yes, yes.

Who is aware of this awareness? You did not do... yes, but what it is? Nothing. And yet you know it's you, undeniably. And yet you saw nothing. So meet yourself as nothing. This is what it is meant. Does this mean you exist or don't exist? Now, now all the words in Satsang will start to make sense. That's why we say you neither exist nor don't exist, because you don't exist as a person, but your awareness cannot be denied. It is not found as if it is something; it is nothing. Yeah, it is not the nothing-nothing of this world, isn't it? It is you.

Yes, it is not the nothingness in this glass. Suppose it was empty—nothing. Yeah, but you were there because you are aware that we left far away, isn't it? Then we go to here. Even in the question 'Can you stop being now?' we left all personal burden in the hand because being is just being. It's not burdened by anything. If you could have a conversation with your unassociated being—this is like Satsang, isn't it?—you come and say, 'Can you be burdened by something?' Burden? What could burden me? This entire realm is appearing and disappearing inside me. What in this can burden you? Only when it itself, being itself, picks up an idea about itself and pretends as if.

So it is as simple as you saying right now, some ideas started coming to you that you're this poor man, you have no money. Yeah, suppose you have this idea you have no plane ticket to get to Bali and all the ideas, you have nothing. We start believing all these things about you, then even the getting to Bali, the going, will start to seem like a burden immediately because you started believing these lies about yourselves. In the same way, if you believe the lie of being a person, then all the personal burdens will seem real. And the mind usually will come with some responses to this and say, 'But what about my practical life? What about my job and responsibilities?' What about them? Nothing. There is no 'you' in this way, and the one who's been doing it so far will continue to do it, which is this consciousness itself. Possible to live like this?

Yes, exactly. Thank you.

So let's continue in the same way. We can just ask yourself, 'Am I aware now?' and 'Who is aware of this awareness?' It is the same question, actually, twice, but it's helpful to bring so much focus and direction into this question. You see, I feel it's very, very useful every time something like this appears. Actually, I feel like this should be completely enough for anyone. Now again, are you aware now?

Okay, yes.

Awareness of when? But now as I'm saying this, who is aware even of this awareness? Now I feel you cannot escape, actually, unless you really, really want to. Because we left the mind so far behind in this, isn't it? Of course, it still tries to sell you some story. It cannot stand up to the light of this question. I feel it has no power.