This is Your Truth Right Now - 8th January 2018

Your existing right now—are you existing as an identity? To exist as an identity, first you have to think about it. But even before you can think about it, your existence is here, isn't it?

Yes.

If you see this, it is very good. Because we believe the presumption that I must be already a person, an identity sitting here, and I have to get to God. What I am pointing out to you is that God is sitting here, but you can decide to play as a person by picking up the notion, the idea of an individual.

I see God. What do you see?

It's like a habit to play that. And this is very good of itself to see that it's just a habit. Or God somehow given itself this habit. That's why Guruji says satsang is the rehab for God, by God himself. Where God is speaking and God is hearing and coming to the recognition it is God. And many times I have even heard a 'why' question about this. Why does God do it this way? And my favorite answer is: if you've been to a movie, then it seems like, you know, the bad guys are winning for a long time. One hour the bad guys kept winning, kept winning, kept winning, and in the end, the good guy, he just fires one shot—all over, finished. It doesn't work like that; it's not enjoyable. So the play of delusion happened over a period of time. A play of delusion... I know it sounds irritating to some of you, but it was enjoyed by Consciousness to its fullest extent. And now the play of getting out of delusion is also being enjoyed by Consciousness with its full extent. You know, with popcorn, the movie scenes are happening, some songs are coming, satsangs are coming, Masters are coming. Such beautiful... so even the getting out of delusion is happening with these beautiful scenes being played out. But what for? The truth you always that, God itself playing with delusion and playing with you.

I want to see.

You are seeing. That which sees all of this, is that bound? That which is seeing all of this, what can we say about that? It just stays. Is it an object in this movie? Can you find that one? Where is it? Beside that? Behind you? In front? The one that sees all of this, is it another object in this movie itself?

Yes, like very seen, like a space, much still.

What is aware of even the space? The very space of your existence itself is witnessed by one. Now, that you there, is it... if in this three-dimensional world you've looked everywhere for it, not found it. In this three-dimensional world, it's not even in the fourth dimension of time, because you've looked over a period of time. When you say 'go inside,' where do you go? You go inside the body? Inside the body there is brain, there is teeth. Go inside... you leave this four-dimensional value and this higher, greater truth which is beyond these four dimensions. The secret has always been there with us. If we leave this universe in that moment, though... going inside... but the mind comes and convinces us: 'Are you going inside the body?' You inside the body? That would be like sending a probe inside the body. You will see all this flesh and blood. Not going inside the body—leaving this universe. You already are there. Where is this awareness located? That's why the Ashtavakra Gita says you are the boundless ocean in which the arcs of these universes, they come and go. It is you beyond this play of time and space. The idea... and you will not see it as a thing. So if you're expecting to see something, then know that it will not be a thing that you see. You know that you are aware, isn't it? Are you aware or no?

See, it was even if you say no...

Actually, what you would be saying is that 'I am aware that I am unaware.' This awareness is the inescapable... I'm not scared of the 'no' answer you are sitting with, but actually what would you mean by 'no'? You will be saying 'I am aware that I am not aware.' This awareness is inescapable. What is the color of this awareness? No shape or size. Is there anything in this three-dimensional world which is without any quality, shape, or size, color, duration? Getting the question? Is there anything in this phenomenal world which has no quality, no color, no shape, no size?

Can't get.

So this glass, even if we say it is transparent, we are pointing to a quality of the glass. Is there anything in this phenomenal world, this world of appearances, that doesn't have a single quality? Nothing. What about this awareness? That which is beyond quality is not an object of the phenomenal world. You are out of this universe already. The universe is in you only. First, second day of retreat, I should keep quiet. You'll not see it as something. What is the seeing itself? If you investigate that, you'll see that it is colorless, shapeless, sizeless, and it is 'I'. That 'I' which is nothing.

It seems that I should find something like 'I' where I can stay, like a... something like that is almost emerge.

Yes, yeah. Some place that I should find that will feel like space, spaceless. Everyday you experience this, that which is called sleep. But as long as the waking state is arising, the play of this phenomenal appearances will continue. The appearance of the waking state makes no difference to the Self. As the movement of the finger doesn't make any difference to the hand, the Self remains untouched whether the waking state is there, dream state is there, or sleep state is there. You are beyond these states. This 'you' is this your consciousness, pure awareness, your truth right now.