This Inner Silence of Just Being - 8th January 2018

Now we're getting to what silence means, and I'm happy this time, for the first time when the silent retreat is starting, I'm taking the time to explain what truly silence means. So now, right here, right now, you exist effortlessly. Your existence is completely effortless. Nobody is holding the existence of you; you just are. I am. This existence has been considered to be something, and you cannot do that unless you access the Antahkarana. The notion that 'I am something' only comes from the mind. So, it is said to see 'I am' is to recognize God, to recognize consciousness. To believe 'I am something' is to play as limited consciousness, individualized consciousness. So all of spirituality ultimately, no matter what the path might be, is to get you to this simple 'I am'—this 'empty of the something' notion. And the 'something' notion only comes to the Antahkarana from the mind.

Now, if I say to you—if I've said this to you—you are the Self, you cannot be something, and that is enough for you, then we are done. You are just this Self, and this truth is apparent to you right now. It is apparent to you right now whether your thoughts are agreeing with what I am saying or not. It has always been the truth: I am. Now, if just this one reminder that you are the Self, you are not something, is not enough in the play of this world, then the masters say: surrender all the 'something' that is coming. You surrender it. Surrender means 'it's my Father's problem.' Whatever tool you need to use to surrender. What happens then is that we come to this beautiful letting go. You see, the Zen master said, 'Keep your front door and back door open. Let all thoughts come and go. Don't serve them tea.' This is surrender, and this much is also then enough. This is the same as saying: don't believe. Let the mind make sound, just let it come and go. Then no 'something' sticks and 'I am' remains motionless.

Now, some of you might say, 'This does not work for me,' and that is fine. Either the temperament is not devotional or the letting go seems too difficult. Then we come to the realm of Sadhna. What is the simplest? When the notion 'something' comes, find out who witnesses that. Who am I? A thought is coming; who is the witness of this thought? Find out if any thought, any 'something,' is applicable to the real you. In this checking, you will realize that all the notions of 'something' cannot really apply to the truth of what I am. How many are following what I'm saying so far? Because I can repeat; this is really important because we are talking about the fundamentals of the human condition and what satsang really is. I feel like for many of us, we've been in satsang for a long time, but we don't recognize what is really going on. And the notion 'I am something' itself becomes the prerequisite to satsang itself: 'I am a spiritual person, now I want my freedom,' or 'I am the seeker, give me this.' So we're not starting truly from where we are.

So I want us to start from 'I am' itself, motionless. You don't have to do anything about it. Already this moment is giving you this gift. This moment has already given you this gift: you are empty of all the notions about yourself. We start. So like I said, first is if you can just let these notions come and go; this is the surrendered state. I would advise many of you to just stay at my Father's feet. This is what it means: nothing is your problem now. All things come and go. If that doesn't seem possible in our temperament, then we enquire: Who am I? As you enquire 'Who am I?', you will see that these notions do not apply to me. I remain as I am.

Then some might say even inquiry doesn't seem to help, or 'I can't do it, I just don't have the patience for it,' or 'it irritates me,' or something. Then other types of Sadhna have been prescribed in various paths with the same purpose. So somebody might tell you, 'Why don't you chant Ram?' So then our mind space is completely devoted to the chant of a particular mantra, which are actually very strong energetically as well. While the chanting is going on, all our attention, all our devotion, all of it is going into the chant. So the notion 'something' doesn't get picked up. Now somebody might say, 'No, no, even chanting seems too much of a Hindu or Buddhist thing to do,' though I can tell you I want to be very scientific about this. So then you might be advised: why don't you just keep your attention on your breath? Remember the Antahkarana, because if the attention is just on the breath, it is not going to all these mental notions. Just on the breath. Then if you're walking, just keep your attention on the contact with the ground. You see? Beautiful practices. But it depends on where you are.