This 'I Don´t Know Who I Am' Is Very Beautiful - 7th November 2017

Actually, sometimes we call Satsang the process of going from the head to the heart, but also we can say that it is a process of going from the head—mental interpretations—to your own recognition, to your own insight. Because even with the mind, the same starts to feel like second-hand knowledge. So don't be frustrated. I get a lot of messages where someone will say, 'But I am not the thing. I think myself as this awareness. I don't know who I am,' you see? So don't be scared of this 'I don't know' because when you get scared of this 'I don't know,' again you will rush to some other concepts. They say, 'Okay, I am going to leave that whole concept that I am a person, but I will pick up another new concept for time.' This, so now this, I will try to prove to myself and to everyone around me that this one is a valid concept now. That doesn't work. So again, then we look for the next change, and suffering doesn't stop because of any concept that we might become. Then we go through the whole journey again.

But this insight, because you don't find something phenomenal there, then it's very difficult to make a concept out of it. And the mind can come and say, 'You still don't know who you are.' And we have been conditioned to believe that this 'I don't know' is bad news. Actually, for me, this 'I don't know' is the best news. When you write me and say, 'When I do the self-inquiry and I don't find anything, I don't know who I am,' this is very good. Better than maybe if you were to say, 'I am the Self, I found it.' Better sometimes this 'I don't know' is very good because we are letting go of this inferential knowledge or some interpretation of what is found and revealing the silence of our true insight.

Usually—you can't make a generalization of this—but usually it is found that those who start the self-inquiry and get a bit scared of this 'I don't know,' when they pick up a concept—'I am the Self,' 'I am awareness,' 'I am nothing'—then you will find that they want to speak about it a lot. They want to share about it because they have their own self-doubt; it wants to be camouflaged under this so-called aura of certainty: 'I found it, I saw it.' But in the true recognition, is there some special thing about that? There is nothing special, nothing really to proclaim also. So in this way, this silence is very useful.

We are not replacing a set of concepts. Some of you are from different Sanghas, different masters, you see, and you picked up a set of concepts there. So we're not going to replace those old concepts with new concepts. You're not saying, 'Okay, we went on X concept, so now Guruji's concepts or Ananta's concepts.' The point is to come to this silence which is non-conceptual. And silence does not mean, 'Oh, we are not speaking words.' Words can still flow. Silence is the absence of egoic activity. So if you're truly hearing my words, what I'm pointing you to is way beyond the one that had a journey, way beyond all that you can think of yourself to be. So ready to do this? Not me. It is a very restful place. 'I don't know who I am'—it's beautiful because often if you switch from one conceptual moving to another conceptual one, again it's the same guy. It is the same guy within different disguises. So we don't have to worry about whether I have the right concept. And if you feel that you are not coming to the recognition in your inquiry, see that is what I am happy to do together. This is what we do every day.