The True Answer Has Always Been Here - Jan. 20, 2015

So when we stop searching for answers from the mind, you see that the true answer—the non-verbal, the non-phenomenal answer—has always been here. What is here now? So this question is not a lifetime inquiry. It can become like that if the ego has a lot of moves; then it'll keep countering the inquiry with various objections, with various tricks. But the inquiry 'Who am I?' is actually in this moment. It is done. It is beyond time. It is prior to time, actually. Then you see what is here. The pure seeing itself, the pure awareness, is prior to even time. So how can it take time? That which is prior to time cannot take any time. That which is prior to space cannot need effort in space. Where do you need to go to become free?

So if all concepts of effort and time were let go of, then what is here right now? And even if you're not able to verbalize what is here—sometimes we struggle to put it into words—but that verbalization is not required. I'm not looking for an answer from your mouth. I can see the answer in your eyes. Sometimes some will come and speak the perfect words, but you see that it is just still concepts. So concepts are cheap. Everyone, seven billion of us, are peddling concepts. So concepts have no value. But it is the rare ones who are freeing you from these concepts, who are asking you to be free, to be empty of all of these beliefs. And everyone else is asking you to believe what they believe because misery loves company, you see. And their beliefs are making them miserable and they want you to share in that misery.

Who are you without a single belief, without a single story about yourself? What is missing here? What is missing now? Aminda next to me has gone to sleep and now he's waking up. It happens sometimes like this, you see. So what happened once is that Garima was doing a silent retreat with Mooji and she just went next to the stage and went to sleep. She just walked up, went right up to the stage, right next to the stage, and went to sleep. And Mooji said something very beautiful. He said that you can only sleep in the presence of trust. If there is no trust, then you cannot sleep. So sometimes sleep can come like this and it's okay. Typically it happens if you've not been in satsang for a while, then this can come.

The mind can only speak rubbish. It could be saying the best-sounding things; the most well-dressed thoughts are nothing but just garbage in good clothes. What do you need a thought for? To need a thought would mean that there is something missing. If there is nothing missing, then what guidance is required from this false interpreter? The thoughts are always telling you that something is missing. That is what is called a need, you see. You believe that thought and it becomes a need. Even if the thought is saying 'I am that,' that thought says 'I am that,' which means that there is still a 'that' which is away from me. There's even a separation in even this saying 'I am that.' It cannot say anything. It cannot say 'I am that,' 'I am this,' 'I am here,' 'I am now.' All of this is coming from the mind. It does not mean anything because it is putting everything in this framework of time and space. It's putting everything in this framework of time and space because that's all it knows. The mind does not know what is prior to time and space.

So be clear about this: that you are not here. You are not here spatially. You see, many times it is said in satsang that you are here, just here. And the mind hears this as 'here' in this location in time and space. It is not this. Where are you right now? Where are you looking from? This body is located in time and space. The mind, the thoughts, are appearing in this appearance in front. They seem like they're in front. But where are you watching from? Are you watching from inside this body, somewhere inside this space? How big are you? How big are you? Are you something small sitting inside this head? What's your size? Tell me your dimensions. You see? And how long have you been in existence? What were you before your body came? Who are you in deep sleep? Who are you in your dreams when another body comes? Where are you looking from? What are you looking as?

Who is aware even that some seeing is happening through your senses, through your eyes? There is awareness that seeing is happening. Eyes are open. Then there is awareness that no seeing is happening through the senses. But did this awareness change when there was seeing or not seeing? Did the witness get affected? Then how can that which seems to appear in front of these eyes have any effect on us? If the witnessing was unchanged whether eyes were open or closed, then how can that which is appearing only when these senses are functioning—can that affect you? What you are, can it? Then why do we give so much importance to that which is appearing through these senses if it cannot even touch you, if it cannot come close to you, if it's not even in the same realm? It's not in the same universe, you see. This is the projected universe. This is the projected universe. You are not in this universe. You are just the witness of this. That's why I say that even if this entire universe was to burn to pieces, I will be untouched.

And when this is said, something for some of you starts getting pushed. Some buttons start getting pushed. 'Oh, but my loved ones are here, my attachments are here, my Master is here.' You see these kind of things. But it's not true. If it was true, then this appearance would be actually affected by some appearances. This is what is called the special relationships, isn't it? That these special relationships could have some effect really on what you are. But that is impossible. Very happy Soham made it. Very good. And Amba says, 'Mind can only speak rubbish.' We're just noticing this as it is attempting to say something clever or even just something so its voice can be heard, but actually it's all rubbish. It's very auspicious to see that it is rubbish.

In fact, Amba, yesterday and some of you posted the video yesterday of my meeting with Mooji, and see there the thing: the mind wants to say something clever. It is noticed over there, but it's all rubbish. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to say. In the presence of the Master, all these words which seem so clever—it's like Mooji says, after satsang you could go to the chai shop and then a lot of clever things will be said. It rarely happens in satsang, for it's very clear that it's all nothing, nothing, nothing, isn't it? Nothing. And the mind trying to convince you of its somethingness, because unless it can convince you of the somethingness of this appearance, it cannot convince you about the somethingness of you as a person. And all that it is trying to do is trying to convince you that this nothing person is something.

This nothing person—some will hear this 'nothing person' and some will be completely joyful to hear it, and some will feel that something is being attacked. They will feel when I say that you are nothing, some will feel that this is an attack and others will feel that it's the most blissful thing that you ever heard. So that even if it is feeling attacked, we can see: what is it that doesn't like hearing this, that I am nothing? I am nothing. Something wants to attack back and say, 'I'll show you who I am. I'll show you.' And I'm waiting for that, you see. I want to see. Show me who you are really. Show me who you are really. Don't show me what you are pretending to be, because that is of no value. Don't show me a concept of what you are. Don't show me some beliefs that you picked up. 'Oh, I am like this or like that.' Then next month you come and say, 'No, I'm like this, I'm like that.' Then we wonder why suffering happens. We are just resting on beliefs, and all beliefs are changing. We pick up new beliefs all the time. So if we keep relying on these beliefs, then how will you be steady? How will there be steadiness? If you're relying even on spiritual beliefs, then how will this peace of truth arise? Then we wonder why suffering happens.

That's what I sound like, huh? What can you tell me about yourselves which is not an idea? Even the most glorious idea is not you. And we are in the habit of picking up really some nonsense ideas mostly. 'Oh, I am an angry person. I'm not free because still anger comes. I'm not behaving kind.' We pick up all this nonsense usually. 'I need to be more loving. I'm not open enough. I have not understood anything. See the rest of the sangha, they are so loving. I'm not loving at all. I'm fake.' All these very popular ideas you pick up, you see. Very popular ideas. It's all rubbish. That's why I'm not bothering to convince this one about your true nature.

The habit of picking up really some nonsense ideas mostly—'Oh, I am an angry person. I'm not free because still anger comes. How I'm not behaving kind?' We pick up all this nonsense usually. 'I need to be more loving. I'm not open enough. I have not understood anything. See the rest of the satsang, they are so loving; I'm not loving at all. I'm fake.' All these very popular ideas you pick up, you see? Very popular ideas. It's all rubbish. That's why there is no... I'm not bothering to convince this one about your true nature because this mind cannot understand. It cannot fathom your greatness. The mind cannot see what you are. I say the universe gives birth in you; can the mind understand this? I say that this entire play of appearances is dancing for you; can the mind get this? No. But to simply see that awareness is what I am, and then there's this play of appearances dancing in front of me—so simply it can be seen. It doesn't need the mind. It doesn't need any effort. It just needs a very innocent, simple looking: what is here now?

And then we are very quick to pick up, 'But, but, but this is still here. I cannot deny it's here.' I'm not saying it's not here, but here in the appearance, all this is coming and going. Is it here? Where? Here inside awareness, as awareness, is something happening to you? No. I cannot believe that story. All you can tell me about is some appearance which is coming and going. Oh, Nitya says, 'Father, can I come up?' Yes, my dear, of course. Is there room for you? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. So we ask someone to make some room when it's her turn to come up. I will go, I will go, okay my dear. And then when she's done, you can come back in if you like. Okay, thank you. So, Soham is making some room for you, my dear, and you can try now. You should be able to come. So is Nitya able to join? So you're very welcome, my dear. Claire, thank you. Is she here to unmute your mic? Hello, can you hear me?

Yes, my dear, I can. I don't know... I don't know what to say, but um, I somehow had to come up. Um, there seems to be a strong force here to hide and to run away and not to come.

I can already see it. I can see it. You see, there was this force which is, you know, trying to hide, not looking at me. And now, be able to look at me for a while, then this force will not last. You see, you notice that initially when you came up on camera, there was this hiding. You see this hiding? And now you're stabilizing in the presence, and this force cannot last here. So I'm very happy you came up.

There's something that wants to hold on to this, or these feelings and sensations what are going on. And um, and all what you said before till now was just meeting that. And um, I don't have really words for... um, this something doesn't want to be this nothing. And actually, there is nothing. I cannot find anything. Yes. And um, this... this what doesn't want to be this, the strong resistance or whatever, what what really wants... doesn't want to be free, wants to play, go on with all this play of suffering and all this stuff.

Is there any reality in this? In this something? Does it have any tangible reality? Are you the real? Are you that is aware of this something? Are you the real, or is this something the real?

It's not real, but this something doesn't want to say these words, you know? It wants to say it, but it's just nothing. Just nothing.

And like we were saying, that it only wants to convince you that this nothing is something. It wants you to convince you about the somethingness of nothing. And then when it feels like, okay, it's making some progress, then what doesn't it want to do? It wants to make sure that you don't come to satsang, because all this progress is blown to bits in a few minutes in satsang.

Well, it says some... yeah, um, it says something like, 'You cannot throw away all these decades of identity,' you know? Something... that's what I am saying. And all, all in an instant, it's all nothing. It's just all nothing. All this of identity gives us nothing but misery.

But it loves this misery. It loves it. It loves it. There's no love, not known love. It only knows need. It only knows need. Love needs nothing. Need needs something. So if you say that 'I love something,' then it's a need.

No, I don't love that. Yes, but it loves... it loves dominance. It loves the power that has been given to it. It loves the power. Yeah, I actually have no idea. Um, right now I don't have the feeling that it should go away or something. It's just there. And I... and there was nourishing, you know, over decades, really over decades of this. And yes, I don't know. I cannot really be sad, but I... I don't know anything.

You need to work really hard to be sad. Yes, it's really hard work. We start asking each other in the satsang, 'So, how many thoughts do you need to believe to become sad?' 'I need to believe at least ten thoughts.' Another said, 'No, just ten? I need to believe at least twenty thoughts before I can...' 'Oh, only twenty? I need to believe a hundred thoughts before...'

So this... um, there's... there's something coming up. What to do? It's nonsense, I know, but there is this... I... um, I have no words for it. What is this? But um, yeah, somehow not fear, but insecurity or something. How... how to stay here? But... but it's not... it's just... even this question is... it's nonsense. I... but somehow I have to say that.

You can say it. It's okay. Yeah.

Because everything... it feels everything what I'm saying here is somehow... there's no way back. If I... I've said it, and there's... there's an urge just to stay, to stay here. Um, which confuses me because there is... it's not possible not to be here. And so, yes.

So you said it's not possible not to be here. Not possible not to be here. Now, where's the confusion?

There's no confusion. There's no... I don't know what I'm saying, but um, there's something that wants to establish here.

But there's no need for it to establish. You cannot leave.

No. No, not possible to leave. No.

So simple. You see that this witnessing cannot stop. I cannot turn off this awareness.

There's waiting, you know? Waiting... something must happen. Oh, what must happen? Yeah, nothing needs to happen. Nothing. But uh, it's... it's so nice to... to say these words because with... I just leave them all here with you, you know? Every sentence I can just leave here and cannot go back to that... to... to go with the... these thoughts. So um, behind me somehow. Yeah, I don't know who's doing this. Yes, so I leave everything here. Even this what I didn't see yet, or what... I just leave it here with you.

It's very good. Very. Everything you can see here. Everything. Yes.

And dying is happening somehow.

Dying. Only what is false can die. Only the false can be burned. So let it. Yeah, don't save anything. Don't try to save anything.

Yeah, cannot stay here. What happened? I don't know. I don't know. It's just good. All fine.

It's very, very simple. Just don't believe your next thought. No matter what is happening. You might feel that something new is coming, something that has been never before, something... something. Just don't believe your next thought, no matter what it is. This is a timeless key and applicable in all situations for everyone.

Father, just take this way. Whatever is this... I don't know what this is, but it's just this old something. It's mine to let it be my problem with it.

Yes, yes, yes. Thank you. No, you're very welcome. Very welcome. Thank you. I can leave now, for Soham can come back. Okay, thank you. Thank you, my dear. Thank you. If you want to stay, you can ask him. Would you like to stay or would you like to go? A little, maybe a little. Okay. Actually, today we'll not have a long satsang anyway because we have a Krishna Das concert here happening in Bangalore. So we leave pretty soon, and Shanti will remind me. If I start seeing her stressed, then I know if we're getting late for the... how far away are you, my dear, from the concert? How far?

An hour and a half, Father.

Hour and a half. Yeah, my or something, maybe a little lesser considering traffic. Okay, okay. Yes, so hour and a half is exactly two minutes from now. Maybe today won't be bad, Father. So whenever you want... he's being nice. I wonder if he usually starts on time or... who's been to a Krishna Das concert? Can you even call it a concert? Maybe not the right word to use. Kirtan. Krishna Das kirtan. Okay, let's hear a few words from Xavier. We hear him typing very beautifully on Facebook. Let's see if his mic works. Does your mic work? Doesn't work. For... is happening on YouTube. T says, 'These days when in some situation, I will ask what character I am in this situation.' Yes, and are you a character at all? 'I'm either the awareness or the character and the situation.' Yes, we cannot be both. Soham says, 'Father is the vajra hook. Once he's got you hooked, that's it.' So grateful for this. I love you, my dear. So should we have a song? Okay, Shanti said something. He said, 'Father, who do I thank for this Grace? I'm always at your feet in gratitude and love. I think I thank the blessed and most glorious powers that sent you to me, knowing we are not separate. Pranam to you, beloved.' Thank you so much, my dear. So much love. So who has a song for us? Lisa will have... Lisa will have a song for us. Did someone say they were preparing a song? Aditi also said she... I'm happy for that. I see again if someone else has prepared a song that they can, you know, they can go first. You have two songs? It's okay. Preparing for Krishna Das with two songs. What all you say?

I'm thinking... Guru around us. I think this is my daughter.

Hello, nice to see you. I didn't get your name again.

Stella.

Stella, yes. Nice to meet you.

Hey Guru, hey Guru. Thank you. I love you. Oh, thank you so much, my dear. I love you too. Very beautiful. Thank you. And Aditi is ready with her song, or when did she say she wanted to sing?

I can go ahead and try. Oh, very good, very good. Yeah, I've had a cold, so my throat's kind of hoarse from coughing. But this is a Krishna Das song too, and um, my Hindi isn't very good, but I'm gonna try. I heard this song on YouTube and I really liked it.

So beautiful. Thank you so much. And it's not an easy one. It's not an easy one to learn. Very beautiful. Hopefully next time I can do it a little better. My voice is a little froggy. Very good. It's very good. It's beautiful. Thank you. Thank you so much. Good. What beautiful singing we had today. And let's end with the invocations if Shanti has them. Just going to start them again.