The Most Important Question I Can Ever Ask You- 4th July 2016

Take your time. This is the most important question I can ever ask you. So it doesn't matter that it is the first question. You can relax and do it. You say very naturally that 'I am aware that I am aware.' So I ask you this: this 'I' that is aware of awareness itself, which is this one? Does awareness have a quality of sight to it? In other words, in sight, you are aware of... not outside sight, but aware of the awareness that is. Oh yeah. So are you aware now?

Yes. Yes. I'm ready for the question. Hmm. I'm aware, yes.

How do you know this?

I'm conscious. Even this being... commentator, isn't it?

You are aware even of being. So when I say there's a difference between the two questions... can you stop being now?

No.

Okay, isn't it? Can you stop being? No. Because you're aware of your presence, of your consciousness, isn't it? How is this question different from 'Am I aware now?'

Can you please repeat?

Yes. The first question was: 'Can you stop being now?' and the second question was: 'Am I aware now?' Can you sense a difference between these two questions?

No, I can't. Because what is being is it... um, what is being even? Um, I know I'm aware, yeah. And um, what is being? What could we then... why you cannot stop being? Just stop being for ten seconds. Can we do it? Is it... is it feeling the same? Is it being sensed the same as saying 'I cannot not be aware for ten seconds'? Are there... is there a qualitative difference between 'I am aware' and 'I'm being' and 'being'?

No? Okay, so let's go back to our first question. You see, 'I am aware that I am aware.' And we said, who is this 'I' that is aware of awareness? Let's look at that one. Yes. And like I said, no rush. It's relaxing to the question. See, don't think about it. Because thinking is just a presumption here. We are contemplating, which means that we're really looking. Because it's very natural to say 'I am aware, I am aware even of this awareness.' But this 'I' is which one?

I don't know what to call it. I mean, or what it is. I'm sorry, I don't...

Is it that you can see it but it doesn't have a label? What exactly is the problem? Is it the label you don't have, or is it that it does not seem at this moment...?

I'm aware that I'm aware of something, yes.

And this 'I' is which one, though? Of something is changing. So let's leave that off. For the 'I' that is aware is which one?

Um, I don't know. I've never been asked.

Yet we call it 'I,' yes? Yet we call it 'I,' right? It's undeniably 'I,' isn't it? 'I' am that that is aware. And telling you here, you are aware now. Ever. So this one is the root of what we are talking about in Satsang. Okay, so let's do the other approach, which is I tell you the answer and you try to prove me right or wrong. Okay? I tell you that it is 'I' as awareness itself which is aware of itself. Before 'I' is awareness aware of itself. Now you can prove me wrong or right just by checking. You cannot get there with mind. You have to just look. Who is aware? I have already said it is awareness itself. I would say there's nothing else. There is no other thing that is.

Yes. Yeah.

Therefore, this 'I,' is it a thing or nothing?

The thought is all things, yes. The thought is all things, isn't it? All phenomena.

It's not, it's not, it's not, it's not. And where are you in all of this? Are you a thing or nothing?

I'm... I don't know. No thing, of course. But I'm often identified with the one that is...

Very good. So you say, 'I am no thing, of course, but I am often identified.' So how do you do this magic? How do you get identified? Okay, so thought comes: 'I'm a green Martian.' Did you get identified? Yeah? Okay. Just by a rising of thought, if you were to get identified, then you would be all over the place. The thought can say anything. I think this is my dream. Consciousness has the attribute of identifying. It identifies with all that it... yeah. And what is this consciousness? Because we said 'I am this awareness which is nothing.' Then where did the consciousness come from? What is this? There is nothing that can get identified, but it needs something called consciousness. Now what is this consciousness? You are doubling this entire thing for you. Thank you very much.

Consciousness, I would say, it's the entire content of the entire around space in which things arise.

Yes. Where did this space... where did it work? If everything arises within this, then this can be within what? You already said, 'in the space in which everything arises.' Then I said, where is this in which everything arises within?

Yeah. I'm identified with the body and so I say within the space of the body. Within the body.

So if I call a surgeon, I will find this consciousness? Which part of the body? It's formless, so I can't. How can it be within the body if it's formless? Only form can be within form, isn't it? Body is form. So that which is formless, how can it be within the form? This space, space, space... this, look. I have given you a clue, which is that you cannot stop being. So this beingness is consciousness. Taste your own beingness and find out if anything is experienced outside of this being. Nothing is experienced outside the being. And the body is within the being, or the being is within the body? Check for yourself. How do you experience the body? As a set of sensations and a visual experience, yes? All of this is outside of being or within the being?

I would say it extends beyond the being... beyond the body. It extends beyond the body.

Where does it extend till? What are the limits of this? So then there is an awareness of even this being, isn't it?

Yes.

Are you just saying because I'm saying?

No, I know it. Awareness is proof of the body and of the being, yes.

Now, is there a time where you don't experience this being? From memory you can say.

When I'm sleeping. Okay, yeah.

Hey, good. So then when you wake up, what happens?

When I wake up, the memory of the 'I' comes back again first.

Oh, I've seen spaces where... is there a memory without first there being a sense of 'I am' or being? What is the primal appearance? 'I am,' yes. First you are, then all the objects can come. I see. So then what happens with your being? Are you already identified?

I'm identified the minute the memory comes back.

Okay, memory comes. How do you identify?

Through thought.

Okay, so thought came, yeah. How do you engage with the thought? A thought came, which is an energy construct. It's saying that 'I'm a very good person' or something, yeah. Then what happens? How do you engage with this thought? It's talking about 'I am a good person.' How do you engage with this energy?

I guess I believe it. Identify with it.

So there are two forces that engage with this thought force. First is the force of attention. You see, attention goes to it. And attention is a very tricky animal to deal with, you see? The more you try to control it, the more it seems to get out of control. But this is the first force. But just because attention has gone to it doesn't mean that automatically the second force also goes, which is belief. Do you see this? Because attention can go to any thought, like I said earlier, 'I'm a green Martian.' The thought can come and we have seen it, attention has gone to it. But are you believing it? Is it yes?

Yes.

So the power of belief is what we use to identify or to condition ourselves. So this awareness then is appearing as being, experiencing its own being. And within the space of being, within this play of being, the appearance of all of this realm, including the appearance of the energy called thoughts. And this being, with the power of its attention and belief, is pretending to be Kavita. Yeah? Right now you cannot become Kavita unless you think about it. You have to think about the thought. So this is the play. So God pretending to be a person is God believing its next... on the mic, a little closer so they can hear.

Unless I... there is a thought that there's always memory. So memory is going to tell me that that's Kavita.

Yes, but just like this realm is appearing, the images of memory can also appear, or imagination can also appear. But without the interpretation of these in the form of thoughts and consciousness believing the interpretation, you cannot identify as Kavita. You see? Even if memories are coming from childhood, they are appearing, they are appearing. But unless there's an interpretation—'Oh, this was good, it happened to me when I was a kid' or 'not good, it happened to me'—you see, no identification is being created. And you can take all of this play with all of these things, experiment with them and see this play of attention, belief, therefore leading to an identification. But you know what the good news is? In this moment you are free, unless you pull the next bit of identification. The tree of identification is already under water. But unless this is the main mode of... of function...

Ah, that one I will call... I will be confused with the play of... there are two things which are happening here.

One is that you're coming to the recognition of what you are. So when we were checking 'who is aware, who is aware,' who are you? That is to provoke the recognition of who you are. And the second is the dropping of the false conditioning, the belief system about what we believe ourselves to be. The recognition you are seeing, the more you'll come, the more you'll recognize who you are. And the more you are letting go of these thoughts, you will find that it is going to become more and more difficult for you to presume yourself to be a separate entity or the ego.

But now the consciousness is looking outside. Um, so it is constantly involved in that now. Is it possibly... what is the meaning of saying 'look at the one that's looking'? What is it?

Yeah, he saw this. Note that when I see... we saw you say that consciousness is doing this. You are aware of it or no?

Yes.

So that which is aware, who is that one? It's the same question as 'look at who is looking.' Is that all awarenesses? But I mean, is that all? Of course you can. Um, so is 'I am' not working in you? For the... in you?

Yeah.

It is only that 'I am' which is functioning in this realm. I mean to say the identities... it's mostly not functioning. Nobody can say hundred percent. What does that mean? It only means that if you report back from the last few years, you find that most thoughts have not been believed. They've just been allowed to come and go. Therefore, I am not identified as this separate entity for some period of time now. I cannot predict about the next minute or tomorrow. I am not making any proclamation. And this reporting from what is insane, yes?

How do I know more? What about the awareness that I am? Um, because I have to know for myself that I'm not a separate... this is not a separate identity. But it's good that I have to arrive...

I would say there's no need to arrive at that. Okay? If you leave that and show me, then I will tell you how to arrive at that. Leave awareness. Don't be aware. Leave it. Can you do it? Let's see what's happening. Because it cannot happen. You didn't... to say that 'I was not aware,' who would say that? That one was aware that 'I was not aware.' Yes? So this is the backdrop to everything. The entire play of consciousness is happening in the backdrop of awareness. You cannot leave it. The mind gives you this task. It says, 'Okay, now you saw it, now you better just be that,' you see? Yes. So instead of that, see how you can leave that. Like you said, you can only pretend to leave by buying what your thoughts are telling you. Because all thoughts are speaking to you as if you're a separate entity. But this one you can't find, this Kavita. Can you find her?

No, I can't. But I want to know. I mean, I would like to dwell in it more. I mean, is it peaceful? Because I mean, I'm not willing to give up from my life situations. So is it possible to dwell?

Yeah. The 'I' that doesn't want to give up the life is which one? It's the one that's identified with it. The belief is the voice of the identification itself. You see, the mind itself saying, 'Yes, this is cool stuff, but you know, don't change my life.' Whose voice is this? Just the mind, isn't it? Yes. Because consciousness is projecting this entire universe, it's doing everything. For the man, come to that. But hey, don't mess up my life, okay? Oh.