Satsang is the Mirror of Your Non phenomenal Reality - 19th April 2016

Hello. Now this... okay, we speak something, let's see if they can hear. Hello. You can hear? Yeah, they can hear. So it seems, Father, there was a question. This one, you say that this one, she's always here, is everything and nothing together. I find no separation between itself and I am. Everywhere it is, it is everywhere I am. This one is always calm, relaxed, has no story, is not concerned about anything. Okay, now who's the one who is concerned about all this, Father? It seems that this one who is concerned about everything... yesterday there was this, when I was coming for satsang, there was this seeing from this place of awareness. There was lots of grief while coming for satsang, and then there was the seeing the grief and it was a very subtle kind of feeling that even that consciousness is enjoying even that. Yeah, and that that one is not me, it's just me, it's just play, like you say. So is there another one? No, but there's this big one who's pretending to be this small one. It's just one. There's just the awareness that's pretending in different forms to play. It seems so.

Can something really upset you in reality, Father? But no, in reality when we say that... but when the pretend, when the attention goes and the belief and all that happens, then obviously suffering. And consciousness is enjoying even that. Yeah, that's true. It's like going for one of these tragic movies. That's true, Father. It feels like there is a subtle, like I could... it's like a palpable enjoyment that I felt was... I know there, even coming to satsang, I first have a bone to pick with you. Philandering! Oh, I was feeling so much grief while coming into satsang, I'm going to meet Father again. It was almost sweet, that grief. Does that make sense? Is it my mind?

Yes, no, because it would not appear in this realm of appearances unless there was joy even in that. But in innocence then it's an addiction also, that grief, right? It's gone. Yeah, it could be an addiction if you could be a person, but for God nothing can really be an addiction. Although this is, if this itself is a rehab for God himself, run by God himself, or pretending to be addicted and God pretending to point the way out from this addiction. So it's okay, that addiction is okay and it's okay. A satsang will look after that addiction in the sense... yes, we can see like that because nothing survives satsang. The truth, in the light of the truth, the false cannot survive. So as long as you remain in satsang with openness, then this light, it will take care of this which is just conditioning or false ideas.

You find many times that when you come to the realization, there is nothing in satsang for me personally. Some of you here for the first time, sorry you have to give you the bad news right in the beginning: there is nothing for you personally here. You will not get anything. There is no joy, bliss, peace available to you here. Then what are we doing here? Available? Is it? There's only a mirror here. There's nothing I'm giving you, I only have a mirror. Yeah, but this mirror, you can see... I'm just painting an analogy for you... is the only mirror which shows your non-phenomenal reality. It basically means that it shows you that you are not the thing, you are not an object. You don't exist in atoms and molecules, you don't exist in energies, although all energies and atoms and molecules are made up of you. You are that from which all of this comes.

So I have this kind of mirror, but who really wants that? So as long as we have this sense that 'I want something so that I can be a better person, a happier person, a peaceful person or something,' we are going to be disappointed in satsang because this is not that type of satsang. Those might come as byproducts; sometimes the byproducts are frustration, grief, anger, you see? But all these byproducts are also welcome. But truly what we are discovering ourselves to be is that which is just the simple awareness, the witnessing of all appearances, and yet it is unseen phenomenally. These words sound too abstract, too difficult, but soon if you are here with openness, you will find that he's speaking the most obvious things. Most obvious thing. It's very simple.

Who witnesses all that is witnessed? Who sees all that is appearing? It's not a difficult question. The mind will get in the way, even gets in the way by offering answers, but even the mind cannot fathom this reality. For this we must look for ourselves. Who witnesses my thoughts? Okay, let's do this together. Who is the witness of the thoughts and the witness of this peace between the thoughts? But is that also coming and going, or it is the unmoving, unchanging witness which watches the movement of these thoughts? You. You. Are you not witnessing your thoughts? Is it somebody else? Let's make this a workshop instead of a story class. Who is witnessing their thoughts? And the rest of you, not witnessing your thoughts? Effort? Yes, yes, yes. And who witnesses that? Sometimes there is no thoughts, the space between thoughts. You do.

What does this 'I' who is the witness of thoughts and the space between thoughts, what does this one look like? You know it is you. You already know it is you. It is only you, actually. The one sitting next to you is not the witness of your thoughts. This is thoughts. What does this one look like? Even to the question, 'Who is witnessing them?', is there anything personal about this witness? Does it have desires or needs? No. Does it have guilt, frustration, pride, regret, remorse, any of this stuff? How can you... how do you leave them? You...