Satsang is the Mirror of Your Non-phenomenal Reality - 19th April 2016

We are looking together and just when we come to this point where we're finding out 'where am I,' it's so peaceful, I should meditate, and some chant mantra might start also. At one point even that is a distraction. We are looking together, no? See for yourselves. No, so don't wait. 'I'm meditating right now.' She's like, 'Who says this kind of stuff?' Is the humanity good? You don't know, so I won't tell you. It's okay. It has its time and place, but this is not it right now. We just said, where is the attention reporting to? You say, 'I notice the outer world, I notice my emotion, it's the sensation attention is going to, this is going to the mind versus the heart.' He was saying this attention, where is it reporting to? What does this one look like? Doesn't have a face? Very good. So if it doesn't have a face, does it have anything else? Any other attribute? Any color, shape, form? Everything and yet nothing. And is it separate from you? Is there anywhere where this is and you are not? Is there anywhere where you are and this is not? Now, what is that one thing? Or what can that one be upset about? You wish she did? Yes, you already said not separate from 'I'.

She says that that one doesn't talk, only Father. That one is always... it is peaceful and relaxed, so no drama at all. How boring is that!

Hey, that it is not simply to my... so this is your direct seeing now. The one who is not like this, who's upset and, you know, involved with the things of the world, who is that one? Okay, take the mic. Why? You can come here, whatever it... hello. No address. Okay, we speak something like TV, they can hear. Hello, you can hear? Yeah, they can hear. Yeah.

So it seems, Father, what is action? This one... you say that this one is always here, is everything and nothing together. I find no separation between itself and I. I'm everywhere, it is... it is everywhere I am. This one is always calm, relaxed, has no story, is not concerned about anything. Okay, now who's the one who is concerned about all this? Father, it seems that this one who is concerned about everything... yesterday there was this, when I was coming for satsang, there was this seeing from this place of awareness. There was lots of grief while coming for satsang, and then there was the seeing the grief, and it was a very subtle kind of feeling that even that consciousness is enjoying even that grief. Yeah, and that that one is not me, it's just me... it's just play, you see.

So is there another one? No, but there's this big one who's pretending to be this small one. This is one, there's just the awareness that's pretending in different forms to play. It seems so. Can something really upset you in reality, Father? But no, in reality when we say that... but when the pretend, when the attention goes on the belief and all that happens, then all this is a suffering and consciousness enjoying even that. Yeah, it's like going for one of these tragic movies.

That's true, Father. It feels like there is a subtle... like I could... it's like a palpable enjoyment that I felt while the grief was coming to satsang, to have a want of the... not imagining, oh, feeling somewhat grief. I'm coming to satsang, I'm going to meet Father again in satsang. It was almost sweet, that grief. It doesn't make sense in my mind, you know, because it would not appear in this realm of appearances unless it was joy even in that. But, but in the innocence, then it's an addiction also, that grief, right?

It's gone. Yeah, it could be an addiction if you could be a person. But for God, nothing can really be an addiction, although this is... this itself is a rehab for God himself. Satsang by God himself, pretending to be addicted, and God pretending to point the way out from this addiction. So it's okay, that addiction is okay, and it's okay. Satsang will look after the addiction in the sense... yes, we can say like that. Because I think survives satsang... the truth, in the light of the truth, the false cannot stay. So as long as you remain in satsang with openness, then this light, it will take care of this which is just conditioning or false ideas.

You find many times that when you come to the realization, there is nothing in satsang for me personally. Some of you here for the first time, so I have to give you the bad news right in the beginning: there is nothing for you personally here. You will not get anything. There is no joy, bliss, peace available to you here. Then what are we doing here? Available? Easy. There's only a mirror here. There's nothing I'm giving you. I only have a mirror. But this mirror, you can see... I'm just painting an analogy for you. It's the only mirror which shows your non-phenomenal reality. It basically means that it shows you that you are not a thing. You are not an object. You don't exist in atoms and molecules. You don't exist in energies, although all energies and atoms and molecules are made up of you. You are that from which all of this comes.

So I have this kind of mirror, but who really wants that? So as long as we have this sense that 'I want something so that I can be a better person, a happier person, a peaceful person or something,' we are going to be disappointed in satsang because this is not that type of satsang. See, those might come as byproducts. Sometimes the byproducts are frustration, grief, anger. All these byproducts are also welcome. But truly what we are discovering ourselves to be is that which is just the simple awareness, the witnessing of all appearances, and yet it is unseen. Phenomenally these words sound too abstract, too difficult, but soon if you're here with openness, you will find that he's speaking the most obvious things. Most obvious thing. It's very simple.

Who witnesses all that is witnessed? Who sees all that is appearing? It's not a difficult question. The mind will get in the way. It even gets in the way by offering answers, but even the mind cannot fathom this reality. For this we must look for ourselves. Who witnesses my thoughts? Or let's do this together: who is the witness of the thoughts and the witness of this space between the thoughts? Are the thoughts coming and going, or it is the unmoving, unchanging witness which watches the movement of these thoughts? Are you not witnessing your thoughts? Is it somebody else? Let's make this a workshop instead of a class. Who is witnessing their thoughts? And the rest of you, not witnessing your thoughts? Effort? Yes, yes, yes. And who witnesses that sometimes there are no thoughts, like the space between thoughts? You do. What does this 'I' who is the witness of thoughts and the space between thoughts... what does this one look like? You know it is you. You already know it is you. It is only you, actually. The one sitting next to you is not the witness of your thoughts. This is thoughts. What does this one look like? The question: who is witnessing them? Is there anything personal about this witness? Does it have desires or needs? No. Does it have guilt, frustration, pride, regret, remorse? How can you... how do you leave them?