Looking into this Feeling of Awareness Being in The Body - 13 April 2016

No. But sometimes, like, I don't know if this counts, but like, it feels like the body... I could be a thought, I don't know, but like say if there's like a pretty girl or something, like there feels like something that happens here. You know what I mean? Is that... is that the body combined with the thought?

This is very good. So you can sense that there's an instant reaction that can come in the body, but the body is not saying that 'This one should be my partner and my partner should behave in a certain way with me. She should respect me, we should always have a caring relationship, we should not cheat on each other.' All this comes from where? Not the body, isn't it? So okay, and this instant feeling that comes of lust or it's just like hunger—the body is hungry there. Yeah, it's very innocent. Okay, see? So this is not causing trouble. So in the sense of 'Oh, my parents should understand me, my children should be a certain way,' all of the special relationship stuff, the body is not concerned about, mhm?

Yes, I can see this.

So this is the first way in which we trouble ourselves. The second way we trouble ourself is, 'Oh, I hope I have some security in my life. How much money is there in my bank account? How is my job? How is my manager treating me at work? Am I making career progress?' All of these things—security, money, materialistic possession—is the body concerned about any of that?

No. No, the body is not concerned.

Third way in which we trouble ourself is, 'I want a healthy body, a healthier body,' you see. 'Is my body fit enough? Am I exercising enough? Am I keeping the body fit enough?' Is the body saying 'I want a healthy body'?

I've... it's hard for me to say because we must... we can look at this together. Okay.

It is like I'm saying that I want to keep my car in good running condition so it doesn't break down. So if you explore this relationship between the 'I' that wants to keep even the body healthy, it is not the body which is saying 'I want a healthy body.' It is the one that seems to be the so-called owner of this body, the possessor of the body, saying 'My body is not that fit right now and I want to keep it healthy.'

Like if I could give one example, like when I used to drink a lot, yes, like and then I have like a hangover, it's almost like the body's...

Yes, but again that is an instant reaction. So you put instead of petrol, you put diesel in the car and the car will break. That reaction will come in the car, okay, you see? But what I'm saying is, 'I must do this kind of exercise and we must keep the body in this certain condition.' I'm not saying any of that is bad, but I'm saying that it's not coming from the body. It is coming from the identity which feels it is the owner of the body. Okay, see? This is the third way in which we cause suffering to ourselves, you know, imagined suffering. The fourth is that 'I want freedom.' Freedom itself is a cause of big suffering, especially in satsang. Those who come to satsang, the one that wants freedom, is that the body?

No, it doesn't. Right now it's free completely. Doesn't know anything, doesn't...

Four things seem to occupy us that are not about the body. Then who are they about? See, they are about 'me.' It's my life, my relationships, my money, my body, my freedom. Nothing to do with the body actually, no? And yet we say that the trouble is the identity with the body. No, the trouble is the identity, the identifying with this idea of being a person. This is the ego. The sense that 'I'm a person' is the ego. So the trouble is egoic identity, not the sense that 'I'm the body.' And when we look simply like this, you can see I cannot be the body because the body doesn't care about any of these things, huh? Okay, so this is the way to just look at it very directly and logically. The second way, okay, is to see as Sham was saying, that how is the body experienced here? The sensations of the body, are they all not happening within me, my being? Yeah, they're all like, yeah, coming, coming like that. The boundary of the body—when we look at this being itself, does this have any boundary at all? Do the boundaries of the body restrict the space of my being, or is it that every single experience—every sound, every voice, every sensation—there is only the experience of it within my own being? Including my entire body is experienced within my being.

When you put it that way, it feels like everything... because like seeing that picture is like the same sensation, like the same flavor as like touching my leg or something. And like seeing any... it's like everything is here. It's all... yeah, I don't... whoa, wait a second. Okay.

I really enjoy this, yes. And we could just go slow. I don't know where to go from here, but yeah, just let's look at this again. Every single experience, whether it is visual, sensual experience internally as a sensation or emotion, it is happening where? Inside you. Inside the space of your being. And ultimately the flavor is that of one Consciousness, although in the tasting of different experiences they might have qualitative differences, mhm? But there is nothing outside of this. How would I know? You're checking? No, we're checking together. We're not presuming anything. We're just checking. Is there anything I can say is experienced outside of me, is happening outside of me? Including the body, is it not inside of this being?

All the sensations of the body, all the visualization about the body, it's all here, like coming here. It's all here, yes. And just speaking, like there's no sense of something outside of me. Like I tried to really like see if there's something outside, yes, but feels like even if it was, it'd still be reporting to me. Yes, it's here, like anything, yes.

So I can say that I don't know of anything outside of me, yes. So this is that in the waking state, the so-called waking state, we're realizing that just like in the dream where everything was inside of me, all of this even right now is exactly the same. We're directly experiencing this, see? Even the space, seeming space between two bodies, is appearing inside this being, you see? So this is your taste of Oneness, phenomenal Oneness. You find that everything that is appearing here is appearing within my own being, is experienced only within my being.

It's like just looking, like it is like this. Yes, it is because I just saw.

Yes, it's your direct seeing, not a mental... now there's like, I don't know, it feels like a tsunami of things. But even that, yeah, even that is appearing just as... how big is it inside of you? The mind, if it comes like a tsunami and you see it appearing within the space of the same being, is it really big for your being? No, it's just like anything else, yes. Yes, okay. Just another appearance. Is being shaken up by it? See, again, don't infer. Is the being shaken up by this tsunami? If the mind is coming like a tsunami, does the being get shaken up by it? Does this space of where all experiencing is happening, does anything happen to this one?

No, nothing. It's just like another... no, yes. I, and honestly, I don't even know where it's going or what it's reporting to. But no, it sometimes it does somehow like... but I'm questioning it. It seems like yes, but just like how you... I don't know what we just did, but it just yeah, like just seeing though that it's not, it's just like anything else, any other...

And this itself is very beautiful because you are realizing that this sense of being, this I amness, is what I am. I am that I am. And yet we might be able to even walk the next step together, which is very simple actually, to just check whether I am aware of this even space of being.

Because I say it that it's like reporting to nothing. I'm seeing it, yes, like I'm saying it and there's this power just to see.

Yes, but so is the... are you seeing it or is it seeing you? Okay, let me rephrase the question. You found that there is this boundaryless space within which all experiencing is happening. You are aware of this space, or is this space aware of you?

I'm aware of it.

You are aware of it, yeah. Now that which is aware of it, is that also contained in it?

No. Uh, this is very good.

Look at this question. That which is aware of it, is that also contained in it? We already said everything else I find to be contained in the space. Now we are looking at the final question: that which is aware of it, is that also contained within this space?

It's seen, yeah. It's seen and yet cannot find a location of that which is aware of it. Wait, wait, wait, sorry.

Yes, can you find a location, uh-huh, of that one which is aware even of this space? Is it located within this space? Let's see.

So currently just a bunch of images are coming up, yes, yes. And I've heard many times satsang, so we'll just... but yeah, just images are coming up.

Yes, images are coming within the same space of experiencing. Images are coming within the same space of experiencing. Nothing is coming up outside of this. And I asked you... yes, can we just back up a little bit? But this is so good. Okay.

All right, I don't know where to back up to, but I kind of lost you in the last couple sentences and I just want to make sure.

Yes, yes. So let's even start from the beginning. All that is experienced, including this body, including outward seeming...

Wait, Ananta, sorry. When you say 'this body,' you're saying the sensations that are reporting here?

Yes, because that is the only way this body is experienced. Just... sorry, it's good. It's very good. I like it very much when you clarify like this. The body is only experienced as a set of sensations, and when our eyes are open, then it's collaborated with this visual sense that there's a body here, you see. Now both of these are appearing within the space of my being. They're appearing within me, we can say like that. When we start, the sensations are experienced within me, the visuals are experienced within me. But in that space of experiencing, everything outside the body is also experienced. Yes, there is nothing experienced outside of this.

Yeah, just it's like almost impossible.

It is, yes. It is seen to be impossible. Everything is just here. Just stay with this for a minute and then we continue. Whatever is arising, let it arise, and you will find that it is within the same space.

Can I come close? Yes, of course you can. My heart is pounding.

Yes.

I could just report, there was like a little switch. Like there's this crazy fear, but when you just said just like, just let it chill, just let it be there...

Yes, because nothing is too big for this space of being. It is the mind which comes and says, 'No, no, no, this is too much, too much, too big.' And you say, 'Let it come.' You realize it's nothing.

Yeah, it feels just like any... like the noise of the fan. It has like the same...

Yes, it is made up of the same thing.

Feels like, yes. Okay, so then just from experience, just what's going on right now, it's seen that everything is coming here.

Yes. Try to find the boundaries of this 'here.' See where this 'here' stops.

So they're just images coming, yes, but they're like funny actually. Yeah, they're funny. They're also coming within the same space. Yeah, but I just... I feel like I can't look that way, or I don't know.

You can look wherever you like. No conditions.

I don't know the boundaries.

Yes. So for this for which boundaries cannot be found, nothing is too much for this one.

It just feels like the only problem right now is that I don't have a problem. Yeah. Wow, I could like see this like impulse to just like, I don't know, want to ask you something else or something, but I don't know. Just so simple.

Just so simple. What problem can this have, that which in which everything is appearing and disappearing? Even if the mind is trying to help you by giving you a visual of this, I see that though.

You see also that that is also appearing here. Yeah, but it's going back, yes, to the same everything. Everything, like even like your touch.

Yes, exactly. Exactly.

Even the sensation, yes, it's right back here. Yeah, yeah. There's just like this reflex. Yes, it's crazy. I feel it, it's like reflex, but I think I just want to sit with this for a while.

This is very good. And if something comes up, I'll be sure to raise my hand.

You must. Yeah. Wow, like it's just okay.

Yes, and the way we can say it is that it's actually always been like this, but you never really looked at it like this. Yeah.

Thank you.

And as you stay with your looking of this, just don't make any mental conclusions about it. Just stay with the looking itself. Yeah, very good. If you expose them, it's good.

Father, may I say something? Yes, my daughter. I wanted to share that for about a week I've wanted to fly to Bangalore and sit in your living room, yes. And tonight I feel like I'm sitting in your living room. Yes, this is very good. It is. I feel very connected and it was nice to have the image of everyone in the satsang sitting in your living room and I feel no separation. Very yeah, thank you.

So in this we had a beautiful exploration where both just very logically also we saw that I cannot be this body, and then experientially also we checked and saw it is just a set of sensations which are appearing inside of my being, which the mind is saying is 'you,' is the body. Everything is here. So another way to say it is that this entire manifestation is the body of God, which is you.