Is Awareness One Year Older? - Jan. 1, 2015

You see, the entire past year has come and gone in the blink of an eyelid. Our entire life of the past has come and gone in the blink of an eyelid. Where is the past now? There are those characters that at one point we felt we cannot live without; so many of those have come and gone. So, so many so-called loves of our lives and so many nemesis and enemies and so many people have come and gone in this game, in this movie. All this will happen as simple as seeing who is witnessing all of this. It's not an abstract question. It's not a difficult question. Right now it can be checked: who witnesses the movement of time?

Today we are celebrating the New Year. 2014 has become 2015, but what has really changed? So even like this, we witness the movement of time. What is moving forward? Every moment, what is moving forward? Who knows this movement? Who is aware of the now, of the now, of the now? Fresh every instant, completely fresh. Is the witnessing also changing now, now, now? Or is only the appearance changing now, now? Is awareness one year older? Does it have some more gray hair? What can we say about this pure witnessing, this pure awareness?

Like this, another million years can go. Suppose you are completely light to. Suppose there is no end to this circle of birth and death, no end. Suppose Nirvana or Mukti was a myth. Is that a problem for you? Suppose this is just one of ten thousand lives that are still to come. You're just getting started with this cycle of birth and death. Suppose it was like this. Then it won't matter if you have now become unconcerned with the content of this phenomena, of this phenomenal world. Then it won't matter whether you're in the cycle of birth and death or you attain Nirvana or Mukti or whatever you call it. It makes no difference because as awareness you are untouched. You are ever free. In fact, you are not being born and you are not dying, isn't it?

What can be born and what can die is not you. Many times in a minute, the mind takes birth and the mind dies. Mind takes birth and the mind dies. So how many lifetimes of this mind can happen in one day? Mind to no mind, mind to that. That's why I constantly point you to the witnessing of all of this phenomena. You see, if you believe... if I were to give you a game and I were to say you have to now for the next one hour pretend to be an old man sitting at the side of the Ganga, sitting on the banks of the Ganga. We just believe all the thoughts which can come about this identity of being an old man sitting on the banks of the Ganga. And if you believe enough thoughts about it, it will seem so real to you, this identity. You'll give it a name, you'll give it a story.

It is so much, see, already it might be happening for some of you. The visuals will come, the picture will come. Some of you have never seen the Ganga, but it will seem so real, so real like this. So in the same way, we built up this imaginary persona about ourselves. All it would take actually would be about maybe thirty, forty, fifty thousand thoughts for you to become deeply attached to this identity of this old man on the banks of the Ganga. Actually, with full sincerity, if you were to believe some fifty, sixty thoughts, I feel it's enough. There would be some attachment already. You see, wow, that's a beautiful character, maybe that's what I want in my next life. This is the power of belief. This life feels like yes, yes, for some, for some it's possible to do this life itself. This is the power of our belief.

More and more we have believed and believed in this imaginary persona which we've given our name, this name, this label, whatever we are called as a person. So first we bring this imagination to the forefront and then we want to control the life of this imaginary person. And for what? All for nothing. Maybe in the beginning it would have seemed like this would have been fun or this would be fun. It must have been promised like this. But it has been gone too far now. This identity has been taken too far. And yet, because it is completely imagined, it is not difficult to unravel if you are open. But if you want to make this imagined one free or this imagined entity happy, then I cannot help you. This is not about freedom for the imagined person. This is not even about personal happiness.

There are many, many, many in the world who are focused on this personal happiness. There are so many psychiatrists and psychologists who are focused on trying to make people happy, and it's a much more viable business. It's a much more viable business because the person will never be happy, but you can show them some glimpses of what happiness could mean and then they would keep coming back more and more. Yeah, if you see the truth, the no-person, it's not a personal life, then nothing much more to be said actually. So either the person can react very strongly and say, 'Okay, this is not for me, this is not what I'm looking for. I still want to try it out as a person.' Many have like this. The doubt could be something else, but ultimately at the root, it could be this doubt that 'I still want to make it as a person.' But it does not work. It does not work. The same trouble.

It doesn't matter, you see. I've been reading, some of you know I've been reading this one book by Marcus Aurelius. Not sure if I'm getting the name right now, but Marcus Aurelius was one of the great Roman emperors. And at the time in Rome, they used to control most of the so-called civilized world. And if you read his notes and you read the journal, same, same trouble. Same, see, family, enough wealth, security, deaths, old age, body issues. So the great emperor, one of the greatest emperors of Rome, did not have a chance to add happiness as a person. Then why do we keep deluding ourselves? Why do we keep chasing, chasing these ideas? If you must idolize someone, idolize someone who is beyond their suffering now, who stopped suffering. It doesn't have to be a guru sitting in an ashram. It doesn't have to be a guru who does satsang also. If you find a being who is beyond suffering, who is untouched by the ups and downs of life, it is enough to sit at their feet. Okay, let's, let's chat a little bit. Okay, Gokul is here and he wants to say something. Yes, my dear, you can unmute and see.

Yeah, can you hear me? Was the... well, it's a little bit low. Is there... now you can hear? It's a little better, yes. Yeah, Happy New Year. Oh, Happy New Year. Actually, I just wanted to talk to you. This year I was quite nervous to talk to you, but now it feels good actually. What is actually happening nowadays is there is continuous vigilance in the mind. Like if I talk to someone, if I talk to anybody, like a conversation, then mind says like, 'It's all your pattern, it's all your tendency. You always talk to that person like this, always. It's your pattern.' So it is continuous vigilance that, is it coming from heart or is it coming from mind or something? So it is like any conversation, I'm like... it's continuous checking. So I don't know, it feels like... I don't know, it really affects the conversation. Like, it is because of that continuous checking, that checker is continuously there. So I don't, I just don't know whether it is coming from heart or is it okay to check or I don't know. I just need a guidance.

This is a good question, very practical question. And the question is that there's this constant sense of vigilance. And let's demystify this concept of vigilance a little bit also today. Vigilance is not a... although the word vigilance sounds like that, it's not a strongly restrictive state. It's not something where you have to constantly be like this, worried about what is happening next. 'Is it coming from heart or is it coming from mind? Where are the words flowing from?' It's not like this. Vigilance is just be simply unconcerned. Let all things flow. And if there's some pinch of something, you see which identity still remains, you see? So be completely open. Don't believe any concepts about yourself. And if there's some button gets pushed or some pinch of suffering or something is felt, then we just check, 'Oh, what happened there? Is this identity still here?' But in the flow, you can be completely unrestricted. Be completely unrestricted. Let everything flow. All is Consciousness doing anyway. Ultimately, all of this is being done by Consciousness itself. So just be free. There's no need for too much effort. Do you find it natural now that you're not believing your next thought, or that seems to be still taking some effort?

Sometime it takes effort, like... but why I'm asking this is because sometimes I feel like to take some decision. I'm not saying the biggest decision of my life, but sometimes I feel like taking some decisions or something. Decisions or choice. So at that time I feel like there is something like I am a doer of that decision or choice. So that time this checker comes like, 'Just if it is coming from heart, then it's a good decision.' So in that way I'm asking.

To be still, it seems to be still taking some effort sometime. It takes effort. But why I'm asking this is because sometimes I feel like to take some decision—I'm not saying the biggest decision of my life—but sometimes I feel like taking some decisions or something, so decisions or choice. So at that time, I feel like there is something like I am a doer of that decision or choice. So that time this checker comes like, 'Just if it's coming from heart, then it's a good decision.' So in that way, I'm asking you like, how is it? How would I know whether it is coming from heart or should I always check it or not? Like whatever is happening, happening for... it's a process, happening process. So should I check it or first remember that all that is happening is Grace?

See, all will happen exactly like it is meant to happen. So this is from the ultimate perspective. From the ultimate perspective. But there are times in life where it seems like we have to make some personal decisions. Should I take this job or not? Should I get into this relationship or not? You see, these seem like personal choices. So I'm not going to deny that they seem like they are strong and it seems like there's a sense of decision making which is required, isn't it? It seems like that.

So first, if there is no decision which is clear, then don't be in a rush to decide. The world will try to push, push decisions. Get in a rush, do this fast, fast, fast. That is the OS mantra, you see. And then you just check in gently inside and see whether there is some guidance coming from intuition. And how do you know that it's coming from intuition? It is accompanied by a sense of love and peace. It is not pushing you. It's not pushy. It's not needy, you see. So you will find that for those important decisions, sometimes you might get some guidance within. It'll be clear that this voice is the voice of the Satguru himself. And then you say that it's so clear that this is the next step that I must walk.

Yeah, but sometimes there's no decision from the heart, but at that time there is a need of time, like to take a decision. At that time, what should I do?

In those cases, what you do is don't decide and be completely open. So leave your mouth, leave your hands at the feet of the Master, and the situation will become such that automatically you will see that whatever words had to come up, came up. Just don't force a decision, because decision like this, forced from the mind, leads to attachment. It leads to desire or aversion, you see. So you just come into the situation completely not knowing what's going to happen next. Just like you don't know what the next scene of the movie will be, like that you come in.

And then you will find, like you might not even, for example, have known what are the exact words that you will speak when you come up, isn't it? But the words are coming. Yeah, the words are coming. So did you... even though you might have decided to say this or say something else, what had to happen, happened. Even what you're going to say next is something which is going to happen in spite of what the mind is saying—that 'I decided' or 'you must not do this' or 'you must not say this.' It just flows like this.

But if the sense of some future or some decision is bothering you, then you leave it to the heart. And if the heart is not saying also anything, that is also guidance, you see. And the heart says or doesn't say, it is both guidance. Even if it is not saying, it means that you have to be unconcerned about it and let life play its course. And more and more you will come to this realization that 'I am not a decision maker at all.' This was another fallacy which I had. So it's very, very rare here for me to check in like this and check, 'Okay, what should I say or what should I do?' I know that there is no personal decision maker here anyway, and whatever is flowing is flowing. But nothing has been handed over to the mind. Power has not been handed over to the mind.

Is it that your video is frozen? Because your image seems to be frozen right now. We might have lost him for a minute. Meanwhile, let's catch up with the chat. Much love to all of you. Very good. Madhu is also here. Very nice to meet you. Lizel is here from the beach, from our holiday also. Very good. Ananda says, 'Father, somehow panic attack without panic attack is happening here. Not really able to listen. Running around like a chicken without a head. Handing all over already.'

It's very good you say panic attack without really it being a panic attack. So panic attack is also seen. Already there is detachment from the phenomenal experience, isn't it? Once there is detachment, you cannot really suffer from it. Like Maharaj had said, that you are not experiencing suffering, you are suffering your experiencing. And it takes a while to get the depth of this, you see. Because experiencing is happening, then it seems to be that we are suffering because of our attachment to it. Experiencing is going on anyway. That is not going to stop. The panic attack or laughter attack or all these Grace attacks, all these attacks will come and go.

See, if you're attached to something, then that is what is called suffering. So you're not really experiencing suffering, you are suffering your experiencing. Experiencing goes on. The suffering is truly based on your identification with the thoughts. Then you really cannot suffer, or you can pretend to suffer. Having a laughter attack, the laughter attack, panic attack, Grace attack—all these attacks can come, but you are untouched by them. Not really experiencing... I'm loud. Can Awareness suffer an attack? This will be very good to see. What can attack Awareness? And that which cannot be attacked needs not to defend anything. Nitya says, 'Not even knowing if there is suffering here.' This is very good, and she's laughing. See, who can laugh through a panic attack? Very good. Gokul is back, so let's see if there's more to his question.

Yeah, I got the answer. But yeah, I was mainly concerned about this decision making only, because I always in the past only also, I always felt like I always took a wrong decision or something about my career or job. All this dissatisfaction is because of this decision only. But and I know that I'm not doer at all, but sometime because of the situation and the people around you, it really feels like you have to take some decision, or because of some parents or anyone. So it always feels like guilty, why I'm not taking some good decision. And every time I ask, it's... I know it's attempt only, but I always look into in the heart whether it's design is coming or not. But many of the time it doesn't come. So it's like I was very frustrated, like what's exactly happening or what should I do next in the next moment? I just can't just sit and watch this play spontaneously. Like that was the main concern, so that's why.

Remember that all the guidance that comes from the heart is meant to ultimately dissolve your sense of personhood. The guidance from the heart is not meant to cater to the expectations of the mind. It is not meant to do that. So many times that's... and it'll be clear that, you see, the person will want to use this as a cheat code, you see. The person will want to use it and say that, 'With this now I have access to...' Okay, give me a minute. The person will feel that, 'Now that I have access to this intuition in my heart, this intuition will make my life beautiful.' And this, this... the person starts to feel like they are really not achieving something or becoming something. So guidance will not come like this which will perpetuate your sense of personhood. Otherwise all the sages would say, 'Okay, you know, in which stock do I invest next and I will be a multi-millionaire.' It doesn't work like that.

Yeah, same. Yeah, it happened with me. I always, I always thought like that. But after contemplation, I knew that there is an attachment with this also. Like after knowing this knowledge, this mind is playing a trick, like it is using it as a cheat code. But after that, mind puts always this... these genuine questions. Like, I know that, you know, this, that I'm playing trick, but what is the use of this knowledge if you are not getting guidance from the heart? Like, I know it's a play, it's a drama, it's a Leela, but you should always play better. Like, what is... you don't... you have a knowledge, but how can you not be guided by the heart? Like, I know it's a play of mind, it's a trick of mind, but still it sometime it plays like it has some genuine doubts and you always tend to buy it. I know I'm buying it.

This is not genuine because it is convincing you that you as a person need some guidance. It is convincing you then in that instant of your personhood. So even in this seemingly genuine, genuine question, it's not. It's the mind is saying, 'Okay, I know this is all, but you still need some guidance,' you see. You? Who is this 'you' that needs guidance? The non-existent one? The impossible one? The imagined one? This Consciousness, God, needs guidance from himself? What the mind is always convincing you about is your personhood. Therefore it can safely be ignored even if it seems to be making sense. The whole reason that we give it our belief is that it seems to be making sense. After satsang you start realizing that, 'Okay, this was complete nonsense.' But when we believed it, it seemed like sense, you see. At that time it seemed like sense.

So basically what actions... huh... basically what action, whatever actions I had taken, it was meant to happen. Like it's all happening?

Yes. You are here in this moment, that means entire life was Grace. That's a simple way to look at it, you see. Whatever, whatever happened, I am in satsang now, therefore how can I say that it was not Grace?

Yeah, yeah. But what about after satsang or during job places or any other place? Not satsang like this, not satsang here, not hangout.

I mean satsang now means to be in the presence of the Guru in your heart. To be open to the truths. To be open to the truth itself is satsang. So you have gone from a strong believer in yourself as a person to now being open to the possibility that the person does not exist. Very open actually. So this itself is satsang. For all that has happened, you must be grateful to it because you have gone from being strongly deluded into coming to the truth of what you really are. If life... if you made all the right calls, okay, the so-called right calls for the person—always the right job, the right relationship, the right everything—then you would never maybe have been open to come to satsang. Never been open to the truth about yourself.

Yes, that's true.

Therefore I sometimes say that suffering is my biggest ally, you see. It's my best friend because it makes you open. It's a very rare one who comes to satsang without suffering. And even if they come, it's extremely rare for you to come and be open without suffering. There must already be this feeling that the person does not work, the ego does not work. All the promises of happiness that the ego brings do not work. There must already be this feeling in most of you, and that's why you're open to the truths. And only suffering creates this openness.

But then... then mind after that, mind says, 'Then what to do next? If all is happening, it's all a part of happening, it's all Leela, then what is next?'

You cannot do anything. The mind cannot do anything. The mind is just a bundle of energies which is coming and going like this. It has no power of action. So when you refer to yourself as a person, you can only pretend to be doing, but you're not actually doing anything at all.

But it doesn't sit quietly. Like it always wants me to do something and I just can't help it.

The mind will want you to continue this pretend game. Yes. That's why we say that you can just don't worry about thoughts coming or not coming. Don't try to make the mind stop. You just don't give it your belief. And then if something is coming strongly, you use that as wood for the fire of your own self-enquiry. So it's saying, 'Okay, you must do something.' Then you say, 'Okay, but who's this you that you are talking to?' Use it for enquiry. The mind will say, 'Yes, but what about after satsang?' But who are you talking to? Because now the who...

Continue this pretend game, yes. That's why we say that you can just don't worry about thoughts coming or not coming. Don't try to make the mind stop; you just don't give it your belief. And then if something is coming strongly, you use that as wood for the fire of your own self-enquiry. So it's saying, 'Okay, you must do something.' Then you say, 'Okay, but who's this you that you are talking to?' Use it for inquiry. The mind will say, 'Yes, but what about after satsang?' But who are you talking to? Because now, the who speaking, answer. The mind will say, 'Yes, yes, I have this fake imagined one, but you at least, you know, do something properly.' You who could do something properly? There's the person, imagined person, yes. There's one, the imagined person, which we always believe ourself to be. Then who else is there? There's being there, Consciousness, which is the light in which all of this play happens. And then there's pure witnessing, the pure awareness. So who should listen to the mind? Is it instruction for this pure being, or is it for the awareness itself? Is there any other entity there? And even being or awareness are not entities, you see. And who should follow the mind's pointing, the mind's instruction? It is only a way to keep being itself deluded. Being has deluded himself to pretend to be a person.

And many times after self-enquiry, it is very clear that there is no person. Like after contemplation, I was like, 'Yeah, where is a person exactly?' Then I came to know it's all a bundle of thoughts. Then I contemplate that, where is, what is exactly thought? Is it a solid? No. Is it a liquid? Is it a gaseous? Is it an atom? Is it what? Light, electron, something? There is nothing like that. And total conviction is there. But when I'm in a situation, I do self-enquiry, but I don't know, it doesn't work. Or it is a maybe, it is a trick of mind that after self-enquiry you will feel relaxed. I know that maybe is a trick of mind, but after self-enquiry, I find that I know that there is no person at all. I can clearly see that with the conviction. But I always tend to do the same thing with what the mind is instructing. So it feels like, what is the use of self-enquiry? Something like that.

So this 'I' think is doing something. This 'I' is who? See, there's still this, you're making still the connection between thought and action. Actually, even this connection is not there. It is just that two events seem to happen one after the other; therefore, it seems like this one, the first event, is the cause of the second one. But it is not like that. It is just a fallacy. There's a name for this also: post hoc ergo propter hoc. Propter hoc, which means that just because something happens before something else, it seems like the before was the cause of the after. It is not like that. Thoughts are happening, actions are happening. You are just watching and the mind is coming and taking credit or blame. You are not the thinker of your thoughts nor the doer of your actions.

Yes, thank you. Thanks a lot.

Very welcome. Very happy with your contemplation. I like this very much, very much. Where is the person? What is it? What is it made up of? Is there some atoms, molecules? What makes it up? Very good. What is a thought like this? Very good. This is very good, very scientific way of looking at it. It's very nice. Simple inquiry like this, all these games unravel very fast. All of this doership seems a little sticky now. In a few more satsangs, you will see. You'll see it's all just flowing on its own. Just the mind was coming later and taking credit or blame, and trying to, before the event also, come and say, 'Do this, do that.' Doesn't matter. Whatever is flowing is flowing. Thank you. Very, very happy to you. Is knowing nothing at all. Happy New Year everyone. Very good. Thank you for your messages. Satsanga wants to say something? Yes, let's see if that echo thing is still happening today.

Hi, hello. Is it echoing? No, it seems to be good today. Um, you know, the last, a few satsangs ago, when I was speaking to you, you poked at my seeker identity and um, so I feel like since then I've just, there's just this confusion because I, as you said, I think I feel like all this inquiry that I've done, I've been doing from my mind. And whatever I thought I'd seen, I kind of now doubt because I feel like it was all some ideas that my mind was giving about awareness and even like silence or peace or everything. And then yesterday, yesterday I had a suffering day of full identification with what's happening in my body and it was awful. And I realized, I saw how it was a seeker identity that's causing the suffering with what's going on in my body because I thought, 'Oh, if the seeker is not there, maybe I won't mind what's happening in the body.' And I didn't realize because the seeker identity was, is more subtle, but it's like it's every, I don't know how to describe it. And I think for the first time yesterday, I just felt like I don't want to, I don't want, I don't care if I am not, as you said, the finder of anything. And I for the first time I started to feel like I don't want, I don't want the seeker either, you know? And I just felt like I cannot, like, be in this body as a person anymore. But I feel like I don't even know if I'm doing inquiry. Like, it's just, yeah, I just, I don't know anymore. And this morning when I woke up, I had a migraine and I was happy because it feels like I cannot really, my mind is not, it's dull, like I cannot think. And I thought, 'Oh, that's like relief.' And um, but I sit and I feel like I don't know, it feels like everything I know about it's just mind. And so, um, I, yeah, just so I don't know how to do what you're saying without using my mind. And I also noticed that I'm still believing all my thoughts. I'm only able to catch that I believed thoughts after I believed it. And it's like almost, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so, it's so attached. The belief is so close to the attention that I cannot, I cannot see, catch the belief before it happens. So I don't know what now.

It's good, it's good. One of the things that struck me when you were speaking is this idea that there is a person inside this body. That I cannot be a person inside this body. And many of us have this concept that I am inside this body. But are you really? What is inside the body? Where is it? Can you identify your location within the body? Where are you?

It just feels like it's everywhere, like the whole, it's all sensation and not in any one place.

Then there's this set of sensations which appear for you. And what is this one to which they appear?

This is where I feel like my mind is telling me the answer to that question. Like that all, it's some awareness that it's some space behind. And then I feel like, oh, that's, that's a mind image giving me.

See, such a beautiful step forward. There is such a thing as a step forward. This itself is such a beautiful step forward because many get stuck here and they start believing their mind about this awareness or this Consciousness. But with you now, this is also exploding, you see. This concept that what the mind could be telling me about awareness is complete rubbish. At best, it is painting some pictures for me.

But if you tell me to see without my mind, I feel I don't know how to do that.

You do that all the time. Are you seeing with your mind now? No, you are witnessing. The mind comes later. The mind comes. So there's witnessing, then being is there, then after being, then mind is created, you see. Mind is much later.

It feels like my witnessing is happening through my perception, and perception is the mind, isn't it? It feels like it's happening through my mind, that that witnessing is, that my mind is witnessing it.

Witnessing, yeah. We hand over our witnessing to the mind and say, 'What do you feel about this?' Witnessing is happening very naturally, very naturally. Mind is just a bundle of thoughts and similar energy. See, you will also say that it is not a continuous flow of thoughts. You will say thought comes, then maybe just even a millisecond gap, then another thought comes. But then you can witness the gap also. And this gap is called no-mind state. This gap is called the no-mind state. So then how can we say that witnessing of this gap is also happening through the mind? It cannot be, because the gap itself is the no-mind state. So you are witnessing very naturally right now. Very naturally you are aware in this moment, completely naturally. No reliance on the mind. You cannot stop it actually, even if you try. Awareness cannot be stopped. You could say, 'I'm aware of this, I'm aware of that, I'm aware of nothing at all,' but you cannot say awareness itself was not there. Then where is the dependency on the mind? The seeker will try to use the mind to say that, 'Okay, now I have understood what awareness is.' Who is witnessing now? The mind cannot witness. The mind can only give you these energy, these energies. Who is aware of this moment? Who's aware of this moment? Is it the mind or is it you?

Not the mind, but I don't know what it is.

Yes, the mind cannot know what it is. So if I'm saying it's not the mind, then who's saying that? How did I know that without using the mind? You see that it is not the mind, and then we can say we use the mind to come up with these words, to use the words. So the mind is used as an instrument for communication. But to witness or to see that I am aware now, you're not using the mind. The mind cannot witness. It has, it does not have awareness to be able to witness something. And what does this witnessing need?

You know, it just feels like it's just there. Something is there. Yes, but to feel a sense of, um, as you were saying earlier, like an, like an investment of how, how this body should be, like, like a judgment, or this, this movie or these scenes aren't as fun as something else I could have. So there is, there's an awareness that something's there that is just there, and then I'm also, there is also awareness that...

Okay, so let's, let's take it really slowly. Is it there or here? Because the mind will say that it is there. There? Where is it actually? Don't make a visual out of it, you see.

Yes, it's giving me some visual.

Yes, because when you say there, I can sense that you're speaking about a visual. Witnessing, awareness is here. The seeing, pure seeing is here.

Yeah, you are seeing something. Just want to accept that the seeing doesn't, is untouched, like not bothered, like...

Yes, yes. This mind does not want to accept, but the truth will prevail, isn't it? It is undeniable that awareness is here. You are aware now. The mind wants to make something out of this. It wants to derive some meaning from this. 'Okay, I'm aware, awareness is here. Does this mean I'm free?' This is what the mind is saying. You have only ever witnessed this awareness, and there is no meaning in the word free also for awareness. Awareness does not know bondage; therefore, it cannot be bound or free. The seeker, the seeker will want freedom, and the seeker can use all kinds of things. 'Okay, but now if you're free, then why is your body still like this?' That's why maybe there is some merit in our stories, you see. There is some merit in our stories. You all heard about Ashtavakra, the sage who had, whose body was deformed in seven, how many, eight places? There were sages like that. Then they could be the most beautifully formed body that a sage could have. So both is possible. But were they concerned about what the body was? I don't believe so. So this sense of concern is still, it's a mind, mind idea that's making it feel like...

Yes, because this person feels like it is the owner of this body.

The being is not concerned. The being is not concerned by the state of the body. Then who is concerned? If it is not the witnessing, it is not the being, then who is concerned? Their thoughts. And then something is believing these thoughts. So as being itself, you have the power of belief. And with this belief, you pretend to be bound. And that's why my simple pointing, 'Don't believe your next thought,' is all about this. It's actually being telling being not to believe the next thought so it doesn't delude itself to be a person. It's not personal advice, you see. So what is, um, because well...

Then who is concerned? If it is not the witnessing, it is not the being, then who is concerned? Their thoughts. And then something is believing these thoughts. So as being itself, you have the power of belief, and with this belief, you pretend to be bound. And that's why my simple pointing—don't believe your next thought—is all about this. It's actually being telling being not to believe the next thought so it doesn't delude itself to be a person. It's not personal advice, you see.

So what is... because, well, since till just before that belief is happening, um, I can only see after. Like, after five minutes, I go, 'Oh, I believed for five minutes all these thoughts.' So even when I sit and contemplate, I cannot catch it before belief. It's always after. Oh, like something is... I don't understand what is happening there because attention is going.

You're believing the thought that you're believing thoughts on its own. You're believing the thought that you're believing thoughts automatically, you see? A thought comes and says, 'See, you believed all those five minutes ago.' Automatically. All that is required in this moment is to not believe this. It doesn't matter about the past. Wait for your next thought and tell me what it is.

It says, 'I'm going to believe the thoughts.' It says that.

Do you believe it?

Yeah, something's buying it.

Yeah, so this something, this something you must not give energy to. This is easy because it's been nourished. It seems like it got nourished in the meanwhile since we last spoke. This one got nourished: 'I'm going to believe it.' This is because something doesn't... the person idea, the sense of separation, doesn't want to let go. And with this simple cutting off of belief, you cannot sustain the person. So it's just not my testimony; there are many in this hangout who can testify to the fact that belief is much more manageable than attention is. Otherwise, the mind can also say, 'But okay, this one is a rare one, maybe he had the power not to believe, but I'm just a mere person' or something like that. It's all rubbish. There is no difference between us.

So are you telling me that the thought could be anything and you'll believe it? A thought says, 'Okay, you're sitting in the Sahara Desert.' Will you believe it?

No. So then if it's automatic, it should have happened, isn't it? It should have some kind of juice, like 'yes.' So it's very good to see this. That means it shows you that some concepts have been nourished about the person that you are, and these concepts still have some juice or some power to push your buttons. And in this way, you are exposing which identity still seems to be strong. And this is also Grace, then, because you can simply inquire and see: Where is the seeker? Who are you talking to? Who should find freedom? So if it's the seeker identity which gets the most belief, then we can look and see: Is there really a seeker? Was there ever a seeker? Who is this one? Something wants to scream, something wants to say, 'It's me, it's me, it's me!' Who is this 'me'? Who? And don't be scared of it. If it feels strong for you, you can say it like that. You know, sometimes it has to come out in this frustration and be vomited out. Sometimes you don't have to be the nice guy. Something seems strong, that 'It's me! What are you talking about?'

Yeah, yesterday I felt like banging my head on the wall because I was just... yeah, I was frustrated because it's like, 'Oh, I can see that that seeker is not really real,' but then it feels like there's a battle going on.

And that, yes, and you are this battle also. You are aware of it. And the awareness of the battle was untouched by the battle. This is the ultimate good news, you see? No matter what happens, you are untouched. Show me how you are not awareness right now. Show me how you are something else.

I can only say there's something else that I just feel. It's the body and the thoughts that feel like it's something else.

But are you able to actually separate yourself from awareness? Stop being aware and then become a body? It's not possible. You are still aware of the body. Just like you are aware of a dream body in a dream, you are aware of this body now. The bodies will come and go, but your awareness is the same.

The thoughts that I find very... that I find hard to not believe or give belief to are the ones to do with the body. Like, if there's more pain, it's like, 'Oh, something's going to happen,' and then it's like, 'Oh, you need to believe this so I can take care of it.'

Very good. So let's look at it like this. Okay, these thoughts are telling me how to take care of my body. So give me a thought which will make your body eternal, which will prevent it from dying. Let's take care of the body, let's take care of it, but let's have a permanent solution, right? Not something just for 10, 20, 50, 60 years. How does it help? Let's find a thought which gives you a permanent solution to the body. Let's make the body... does the mind have an answer for that? No. So you are aware of this body. You will be aware of the dissolution of the body. You will see this body die. You have seen it give birth also. And many bodies in one night you can have, many bodies coming and going. How will the mind take care of the body? How long will it take care? Will it prevent the body from getting old? What will happen? Take care of the body? Nothing. You never know, you might find yourself... you cross the road and a car runs over you. Then, sorry, it's a little morbid, but it has to be said. Like, as awareness, you are untouched irrespective of what happens to the body. And the mind has been trying to help you for so many years with the body, isn't it? Yet there's so much concern about the body. Has it been successful in its approach? And how long will we listen to this false teacher who doesn't know anything at all? Nothing at all. It knows it just got you hypnotized by making you fearful. God is carrying this body. God is taking care of this body. Let the one who has given the body take care of the body also. There is nobody else here anyway. There is only God. How can an imagined entity take care of anything at all? Do you see that the person is completely imagined or no?

When I do, when I sit and contemplate, yeah, I can never find a person. But then there are other moments, like yesterday, when I felt like I was trying to find this, it just felt like, 'Oh, that I am this entity that's suffering.' And I feel like I haven't really seen I'm not a person. If I had really seen that, I wouldn't be suffering.

No, it can be like this, you see. Because what happens is—I took this example often, but I'm not sure if you've heard it before, so let me repeat it—it can seem like for millions of years I believed, because I was always told, that the sun rises from the west. And in this belief, somehow I tend to suffer. Then someone comes along and says, 'No, no, no, look, look, the sun rises from the east actually.' And then the first time you hear this, you're like, 'No, what are you saying?' And I say, 'Okay, don't take my word for it. You go and check for yourself.' Then you wake up the next morning and say, 'Yes, it actually rises from the east.' Like saying that, 'I check and I find no person.' But there is millions of years of conditioning about the body. So then you say, 'Okay, maybe I was deluded, maybe I was deluded, or maybe this one threw some magic powder in my eyes or something. Or maybe it just came up like this only that day. Maybe every day for millions of years it came up from the west, but for some reason today it came up from the east,' you see? So next morning you wake up and you missed the sunset—you had a late night and you woke up at noon—so there's no way for you to check. So you say, 'Yes, it was all rubbish. The sun actually must be coming from the west. I must be a person. I must be a person.' So what can I do? I can at best again tell you: Check again. Check again. And then you check and say, 'Yes, again east.' Maybe he is controlling the sun? No, no, just keep checking. Check again: no person. Check again: no person. So in the beginning, it can seem like this flip-flop. This energy can come strongly to react. But after you keep checking over and over, then no need to check. Now it's clear. Only when some suffering comes, then we see: Okay, what's happening? Who's suffering? You see no person. Then vigilance becomes very simple like this. It's not a constant 'Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?' Not like this. That would not be freedom if it just made out of all of us these robots who are chanting 'Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?' Then it will not be freedom. You don't need to be vigilant like this completely. Some have taken it like this; when they hear the word vigilance, they've taken it like this constant, constant... it's not. Just something pushes a button, you say, 'Oh, what is this identity?' It must just let go of it. In a few seconds, gone. Mostly like this. But you don't pick up the concept of a person till you have checked that there is a person. Because I can guarantee you that every time you check, you will not find them. The mind which will come and say, 'No need to check, no need to check, I'm sure, I'm sure I'm a person.' This one who is concerned about freedom, this one who's concerned about the body, is not you. It's just an idea. And even if you are the body, the body is going to die. So what's the big deal about all this? If it is possible that you die, then there would be nobody there to be concerned anyway.

Actually, it feels like it is my body. It doesn't feel like I am the body; it feels like it is my body, something that I own.

This is the trick. But this 'my' does not exist. Are you believing something now?

Yeah, I suddenly go... it's like 'my.' I just had a thought that came saying, 'Oh, I'm so tired, I want to stop satsang now.' I thought, 'Oh, I didn't believe it,' but it just... and then I just feel like I want to lie down and go to sleep.

This is one of the trump cards of the mind, you know? 'Enough, okay, got it, no person, got it.' And just this sense, the sense is just, 'Yeah, I just want to like close my eyes and go to sleep.' It's good when you smile, and then you don't have to work hard to smother your smile. I notice this with her every time. She's smiling very beautifully, everything is clear, and then something comes that, 'No, I must see...' What was that thought?

That thought just came that, um, yeah, how can you be happy? How can there be happiness? How can you be happy when all of this is going on, you know, like with the body? And you're showing... you're showing how you can be happy with all this.

Don't try to convince your mind about anything. Don't try to win the argument with the mind. See what is that old saying? 'Never argue with a fool; they will bring you down to their level and they beat you because they have more practice.' This is like arguing with the mind, because you have to come down to the level of being a person, and then they are the experts at creating suffering. So you will not be able to win with this approach. Watch the mind from your true perspective as awareness and let the mind bark. Let it do whatever it wants. You are unconcerned. Thank you. Very good, very good. Don't take on the burden of freedom. It's not your problem now. The truth is not your problem now. As long as you keep coming to satsang, it is my problem. Okay, lots of chat. I don't see the YouTube. Shanti says, 'I feel like the hot seat is needed to expose what is not true here.' Come, my dear.

You're on mute. Thank you, Father.

Welcome.

So, can you hear me okay? Um, yeah, it's better now. There are people sleeping in the house, so I can't speak too loudly.

I see, I see.

So I felt like it was important to come before you. I don't know exactly why. There's something that I feel is hiding out and I can't name it. I can't really say what it is, but there's just a hesitation or something that doesn't want to be seen. So I'm just coming now. What else to do but just come before you and be here and hope that this will reveal it.

Or how does it play? Is it like some fear, some hesitation? How is it?

It's a fear that there's a falseness or something that's not being true.

I don't know exactly why, but there's something that I feel is hiding out and I can't name it. I can't really say what it is, but there's just a hesitation or something that doesn't want to be seen. So I'm just coming now. What else to do but just come before you and be here and hope that this will reveal it.

How does it play? Is it like some fear, some hesitation? How is it like that?

It's a fear that there's a falseness or something that's not being true. Something that just is playing the game and pretending and trying to do the right thing and say the right thing and act the right way.

That you're faking your freedom, basically?

No, no. That there has to be a play, so you have to be a certain way or say there's some kind of a form I have to fit into. The freedom part is okay. There's freedom, yeah. And I could just stay quiet and be alone and be happy. But when it comes to confronting all of the appearances, including this one, it feels like there has to be some game or some pretense. And it's always been a certain way. People expect certain things from me and I expect certain things. There's an expectation here that things should continue. I don't want to do it anymore.

Very good. This comes up, you see? It's very good because who is this 'me' that they expect things from? And who is the 'I' that expects things in return?

I see it. There's nothing important or nothing there. I see it's just a play, but there's still some energy to be part of it and there's a little bit of... there's some hook still.

But the good news is that this is also seen, yeah? And the seeing of even this is untouched by any of this play also. Absolutely. And that's the good part. That's the good news for sure.

Yes, without this you would be in trouble. Yeah, some real trouble. Yes, yes. No, but for instance, there's still some hooks into things. Like when I speak, like now or to somebody, I do want to impress. There's this need to feel like somebody finds whatever's going on here interesting or good or something. I don't want to do that anymore. I have no interest in that, but it still seems to be a continuation of that.

Say that you are the Supreme One. Then would the Supreme One want to impress? Easy. And then you say that also... I say that you are nothing. Either say that you are the Supreme One or you are nothing. In neither of those perspectives there is no need to impress or convince one of anything, isn't it? No need. This hook that comes that 'I must convince them' or 'make it interesting at least so it doesn't seem boring' that I come up, you see, this can play like this. And this is some primal need to get approval or something that must have been there, been nourished earlier, and now it is being let go. Good that it comes up like this and you can expose it. And it's very good. We talk about these things from the perspective of awareness. We see that these are just part of the appearance. Like you yourself said, none of it is serious, you see?

Yeah, but it feels childish. It feels immature. I don't know if... and I suppose there's a judgment that's being believed that as long as that continues, I'm not maturing, evolving, you know? Again, it's a spiritual speaker, maybe.

And this one who is saying all this, that 'this is childish,' this one is the mind. This one is the trickster. If you buy anything from the trickster, it will become like this. What needs to mature? Because just simple pointing, just this to say 'what needs to mature?' is enough to blow it away, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah. It's really ridiculous. I'm very glad to come and expose this. Thank you.

Yes, I'm very happy, very happy. This is what Satsang is for. Come see this still seems to have some hook, or still I see... you can also say, 'I see this all still okay, but this one has some juice in it.' Can you look at it? And we are happy to look together. Very happy to. And I like how you talk about sometimes the two A's: the big A, capital A, and the little a. That's a good point. Thank you.

Oh, this one is good. I like it. The big A and the small a is very useful. Thank you so much.

Your mom is okay now? She's feeling better?

I think so, slowly. She had a very bad cold and then the, what do you call it, bronchitis. She's getting better. She's been taken care of.

Give all my love, all my love to both of you. Thank you so much. Thank you, Lisa. Thank you Atma, Jyoti, Zoe, and Mike, Kanan, Jani, Claire, Amaya. And if there are any names which I'm not reading out, don't believe the thought that I'm ignoring you. You are free to believe that thought, but it is not true. The mind can be very petty. It can be very, very petty. Like the nature of the mind is to cling to the negative. Be that I have said I love you more than life itself thousands of times. I could have said it once. If I say, 'Oh, I really don't like you,' what will you believe? 'Oh, that he doesn't like me at all.' Just once if I say it, it clings on to this negativity. Yeah, even this. That becomes... 'So today he didn't say that he loves me. Today he didn't say, therefore he's lost that loving feeling.' Okay, let's have a song. Satsanga can sing. Sat can sing. You sing?

I don't know how to sing.

You don't know how to sing? I keep getting this feeling that there are some undiscovered singers. Okay, let's have two songs. We'll have Amaya and Lisa, both will sing. I have only 5% battery left, so if you're going to hesitate, it's going to take time. Good, good.

I don't know what I'll sing. How about that one, Anand?

Beautiful. Thank you, my dear. Thank you. I'll do my best. It's very intense, the Satsang today. I'm feeling off.