In Guru's Care, It's No Longer Your Concern - 24th October 2017

Um, the reason why I wanted to speak was, I'm hearing Papaji say, 'He who has done it will know he has done it,' right? You gave me... okay, so I hear everything you say, Father. The Master says, and Papaji says, and I've been trying to be vigilant and not really give anything to the mind and just keep quiet. And you know, it's just been... I've just been trying to keep quiet and just sit on your lap, right? But I don't feel like I've 'done it' like Papaji said. And I don't know what more that you can say, or more I can hear Mooji say, or I don't know if it's another satsang I can hear that's gonna change anything, or should I just be vigilant? You know, I've been listening to you guys since 2013 and I feel like, you know, I feel more secure and established. And I don't think it's just a thought; I want to be secure and established in the fact that I am, which I know. And I don't want to be one of those people that, like, I know it intellectually. I don't want... I just want what the truth is. I don't want to use the inquiry as a painkiller no more. I just want to totally be the Self and know that I'm the Self and not talk about it. That'd be a phony thing. I want whatever light that shines through you, Father, and Mooji and Papaji—I want it to shine for me as well. And I don't know if I'm articulating right or whatever, but I just want the real thing. I don't want to talk about it no more. I don't want to sit and wait no more. I don't want to lay in bed and just hope and just be quiet and just be still and stuff. The inquiry, the assertion... I know it's simple and all that, it's just sometimes something's not happening and I don't want to go to that no more. I want to go to another satsang. I don't want to be one of those people no more. Whatever needs to happen, I want it to happen. And I don't even know what needs to happen, but those are my words.

This is a good report. Now, Papaji said something about the idea of 'having done it,' but you said something which was even more important, which is that you have got on my lap now. Thank God. On my lap, all that you want, all the ideas about how it should be, and even whether you have 'done it' or not, is none of your concern. At the point of coming on the lap, if you step on the lap of the Satguru, then we know that all that you desire, all that you want, all of how life should be, whether you have done it or not—everything is then Papaji's. We are in Papaji's lap; that's why he was called Papaji. Use the term for the same thing. On the lap of the Father, then you don't have to be concerned about anything at all. In this moment, you are in the lap of the Satguru. Now, if you pick up a notion about yourself, then you go down to play for a bit. That's all that this game is. In this moment, already you are in this Satguru's lap. If you play with any notion, then you are stepping down to play for a bit. Satsang is just a call back to the lap. Now, on the lap, before the answer was... you know what I mean? Before the conclusion, you just naturally are. Before you can judge whether you are or not, what the natural state is, that is now here naturally. Is there a concern about whether you have it or not?

So suppose for the moment we forget about everything that happened—the car journey, that what you hear, I started the satsang, then you ask the question, everything that I even say—all for working for one more actually, what is it? Who is real? Is complete right now? This is that simple. Something just don't want to believe it's that simple, but it is. It does seem like you need to be worked. It just seems like... it doesn't seem like Grace should be upon me like that. Too much of a sinner. It seems like... it doesn't seem like Grace should be upon me like that. I feel like I'm too much of a sinner myself. Throughout the day, my mind is attacking people throughout the day. It doesn't seem right for me to just sit in your lap and just be in the moment and just know as the present. Don't even matter? It seems so simple, but I know it's just that simple.

And yet, I can understand what you are saying is that it is the habit to go back to a notion about us and figure: 'Am I good enough to get it like this so simply? But I have been a sinner in my past.' You know, all these concepts can be there. There are so many who tried for so many years, hundreds of lifetimes of sadhana, and they don't seem to get it. Okay, Father says that this moment, this is all there is. I got it. It seems like this habit of going to this judgmental mind, which is making the report card about yourself, which is saying that it cannot be so simple... but actually, if you are That, then it has to be simpler than simple. If you are already That, which if what I'm saying and all the sages are saying—already said that you are That—if you know That, then there must be nothing to do, nowhere to go. This is the meaning of getting on the Guru's lap. Being in the Father's field is the same thing. We are not exchanging your being, your presence, for any idea about ourselves. 'I did that, I caught it'—that idea, or 'I'm not there yet'—neither of them are meaningful now. These have been compulsive; these can be the habit or addiction for so long that it can seem like the cleaning up seems to take some time. So this is what I mean by the withdrawal symptoms of the mind. When you're drenched in this moment in your own being, you naturally see that this was it.

And so you see, I know actually in my heart that it is that simple, but something refuses to accept it. My mind still comes up with the resistance saying it cannot be, 'not this' and 'not that.' It still has a power because it has been given power in the past. So as we shake through these withdrawal symptoms for a bit, just know that I'm here holding your hand, and your heart now is given more meaning than the mind. But you can leave that from time to time; the mind still comes up and gets some attention. That's why I see that we have such a great idea for this finger snap like that, where I could just tell you that this moment you are complete, not even in the most... actually. And then the mind would not put up a fight with that, then we would just need to have that satsang for ten minutes, one minute. But I know the mind puts up a fight, and because the habit has been to give it receipts of the past, it's a weak attempt at it again and again. Is it true that there is something to be done? Is it true that there is some way to go? Is it true that you are not the Self? These are not true, and yet the mind will convince you also.