In Every Now You Are This Formless - 19th April 2016

Okay, take the mic. You can come here. Whatever is it. Hello? This... okay, we speak something. Let's see if they can hear. Hello? You can hear? Yeah, they can hear. Yeah.

So it seems, Father, what is oppression? This one, you say that this one is always here, is everything and nothing together. I apply no separation between itself and I. I'm everywhere. It is, it is everywhere. I am. This one is always to come to, to relax, has no story, is not concerned about anything. Okay, now who's the one who is concerned about all this, Father? It seems that this one who is concerned about everything... yesterday there was this, when I was coming for satsang, there was this seeing from this place of awareness. There was lots of grief while coming for satsang, and then there was the seeing the grief, and it was a very subtle kind of feeling that even that consciousness is enjoying even that grief. Yeah, and that that one is not me. It's just me, it's just play, don't you say so?

Is there another one?

No, but there's this big one who's pretending to be this small one. It's just one. It's just the awareness that's pretending in different forms to play. It seems so.

Can something really upset you in reality? Fun of annoying reality when we say that. But when the pretend, when the attention goes on the belief and all that happens, then obviously the suffering and consciousness too enjoying even that.

Yeah, it's like going for one of these tragic movies. That's true. For that feels like there is a subtle, like I could... it's like a palpable enjoyment that I felt while in that grief coming to satsang. I was like, 'I have a bone to pick with you, philandering.' Oh, feelings or the grief. 'I'm coming to satsang, I'm going to meet Father again.' In subject business, it was almost sweet, that grief. Doesn't make sense.

You said my... no, because it would not appear in this realm of appearances unless there was joy even in that. But in the innocence, then it's an addiction also, that grief, right? It's... but yeah, it could be an addiction if you could be a person. But for God, nothing can really be an addiction, although this is... if this itself is a rehab for God himself, satsang. By God himself pretending to be addicted and God pretending to point the way out from this addiction. So it's okay, that addiction is okay, and it's okay. Satsang will look after the direction in the sense, yes, we can feel like that because nothing can survive the truth. In the light of the truth, the false cannot survive. So as long as you remain in satsang with openness, then this light will take care of this, which is just conditioning of false ideas.

You find many times that when you come to the realization, there is nothing in satsang for me personally. Some of you are here for the first time; I have to give you the bad news right in the beginning: there is nothing for you personally here. You will not get anything. There is no joy, bliss, peace available to you here. Then what are we doing here? Available easy? There's only a mirror here. There's nothing I'm giving you. I only have a mirror. But this mirror, you can see, I'm just painting an analogy for you. It's the only mirror which shows your non-phenomenal reality. It basically means that it shows you that you are not a thing, you are not an object. You don't exist in atoms and molecules. You don't exist in energies, although all energies and atoms and molecules are made up of you. You are that from which all of this comes. So I have this kind of mirror, but who really wants that?

So as long as we have this sense that 'I want something so that I can be a better person, a happier person, a peaceful person or something,' we are going to be disappointed in satsang because this is not that type of satsang. See, those might come as byproducts. Sometimes the byproducts are frustration, grief, anger. You with all these byproducts also welcome. But truly what we are discovering ourselves to be is that which is just the simple awareness, the witnessing of all appearances, and yet it is unseen. And phenomenally these words sound too abstract, too difficult, but soon if you hear with openness, you will find that he is speaking the most obvious things. Most obvious thing. It's very simple. Who witnesses all that is witnessed? Who sees all that is appearing? It's not a difficult question. The mind will get in the way; it even gets in the way by offering answers. But even the mind cannot fathom this reality. For this we must look for ourselves. Who witnesses my thoughts?

Okay, let's do this together. Who is the witness of the thoughts and the witness of this space between the thoughts? What also coming and going, or it is the unmoving, unchanging witness which watches the movement of these thoughts? Are you not witnessing your thoughts? Is it somebody else? Let's make this a workshop instead of a curry class. Who is witnessing their thoughts? And the rest of you, not witnessing your thoughts? Effort? Yes, yes, yes. And who witnesses that sometimes there are no thoughts, like the space between thoughts? You do. What does this 'I' who is the witness of thoughts and the space between thoughts, what does this one look like? You know it is you. You already know it is you. It is only you. Actually, the one sitting next to you is not the witness of your thoughts. This is thoughts. What does this one look like to the question 'who is witnessing them?' Is there anything personal about this witness? Does it have his or needs? Does it have guilt, frustration, pride, regret, remorse? Me or do stuff? How can you... how do you leave there? You don't. That's what I'm telling you, no? Well, pretending means you don't actually become. Oh, you don't actually leave. You're just pretending. It's like, 'I'm pretending I am living on Mars' cannot make me live on Mars. It's just a pretense. I can pretend really hard. Of course, I'm a Martian. Yeah, like that. But doesn't actually make me one. So just by pretending to be a person or just by pretending to be war, or we make us that? If I guess I say Richa, I say Plasma, who is that Richa? Is the witness Richa? A plasma using? Take the mic.

Yes. Oh, I have to do some... what is it? Okay, audio is okay for all of you? For them it's not coming on the speaker. That means already on the USB. No, test, test. Is okay. You can sort it up. I was just going to say no to because it's not coming in the room. Ah, so you speak to the room and just keep it there.

Okay. I just want to say that there's nothing personal about the witness. The only thing that seems personal or seems is that, um, like it's perceiving through this body seemingly, like so.

And it's perceiving the body through what? It's just perceiving utilization of the body. So this is good to check. She says it felt like this, that 'I am' is perceiving through the body. And we can say like that, that external perception is happening through the senses. Also, there are many who had experiences like out-of-body and things where perception continues and yet the senses are not being used. Using? But the important question is: how are the sensations of the body being perceived? Which senses are used for that? And we see imagination or we see memory images; we don't use our eyes for those, and yet they are perceived. So there is a perceiving which is more primal than the sensory perceiving. This is now... this is what I call the phenomenal perceiving, the perceiving of phenomena that happens in the presence of Being. The phenomenal perceiving. And yet there is a knowing even that this phenomenal perceiving is happening or not. You are aware.

The sensations of the body being perceived with senses I use for that, and we see imagination or we see memory images—we don't use our eyes for those and yet they are perceived. So there is a perceiving which is more primal than the sensory perceiving. This is now what I call the phenomenal perceiving; the perceiving of phenomena that happens in the presence of Being. The phenomenal perceiving. And yet there is a knowing even that this phenomenal perceiving is happening or not. You are aware of it. So this Awareness remains completely unchanged irrespective of the presence or absence of phenomena. I lost half the room in this, but it's okay. It's worth it because it's important.

But the fact that it appears means it can also disappear. What appears and disappears?

Like the fact that everything appears means that I'm apart from it, yes. And so it can also disappear.

Also disappear, yes. So this one who is not appearing and disappearing is the constant witnessing, or is the constant witness, we can say. This one, what can happen to this one? Nothing can happen. Can it be bound? Well, can it lose itself?

Yes. Oh no, no, no. There's something to be found now. Can you not be it for a second? Don't be this eternal witness for just a moment and show me.

It's beyond all of that. Beyond everything, yes. Isn't it?

Yes, it is not personal. We've got so used to referring to the 'I' as if it is personal, so that for many of you when I say it is still 'I', it can be like, 'But I'm trying to get rid of the I,' you see? Because we referred to the ego as 'I' for too long. The non-existent one has been referred to as 'I' for so long that when you're coming face to face with the true 'I', it's Self-realization after all. So this must be the true 'I'. It has just been here through all of the drama. It is witnessing all of this. It has just been here and you see that this is the true 'I'. I have always been here. And always beyond, always. It has been within me. It means, so it's not truly... it is not 'I have always been here.' 'Here' has been inside of me appearing. What am I saying? Time and space is an appearance within this. I am not appearing within time and space. And this is our direct experience right now, before we buy what our mind is still telling us about this. Everyone is experiencing this reality and yet we are believing a story of reality which our mind is telling us. Therefore, the truth is unchanged and does not need your belief. You don't need to believe anything I'm saying here. All that I'm imploring you to do is check who you are.

You come as if you're drops of water in the ocean saying, 'I'm a drop, I want to become the ocean.' What will I tell you to do? Yes, check where is the drop and where is the ocean. Are you not it already? So Satsang is exactly the same conversation that the ocean would have with itself pretending to be a drop. 'But I am a drop. I decided to go left, I decided to go left and life took me left. The other time I decided to go right, but life was so bad to me, it still took me left. I wanted the wave to be this high. I was all riding on that wave and I was pushing so hard for it to go high, but it only went halfway. My life is terrible as a drop.' And you say, 'I'm the ocean, I want to be this ocean. Can you tell me how to become?' So how do you tell the drop to become an ocean? Is there any better way than telling you to check who you already are? Are you not the ocean? Show me the boundaries of this drop. That's what we're doing. Show me your boundaries.

We find that there are none. Being. And we saw there are none. Where do I stop? Where is my starting point? Where is my end? We don't find it. He says the body. The body, initially if you come to the thing, you might say, 'But the body is my boundary.' But inside you there is that sound experience. Inside me all of this is perceived. Where? All this imagery is perceived where? Within me. Where is all of this happening? Inside me. What are the boundaries of this 'me'? We don't find. So already we have simply come to the infiniteness of our Being. And yet you are even greater than that. You are that which is aware even of this. This Being, Consciousness, God presence—you are aware of it. It is rising and dissolving within you. And this is not fantasy; this is a direct experience. The mind will come and say, 'Oh, this sounds so arrogant.' But this is your experience right now. How can that be arrogance? If you don't allow your mind to speak about it and just see with what you will directly see. This day we'll go to directly see and speak from your experience. I'm happy to sit at your feet and listen to you because I know that the direct experience is the truth.

How is Awareness beyond time? How is Awareness beyond time?

Is there any time in sleep state? You know, once I wake up, I realize that time... I keep sharing this experience I had where it was 7:30 in the morning in this time and my kids said, 'Bye bye, I'm going to school. We are going to school.' Then I went back to sleep. Then I experienced a full lifetime. I was born in a village, grew up, and was here, and I got late for somewhere I was supposed to be with my wife. It is never a good idea. So I remember also feeling anxious and in all this, all this happened. And then my eyes open and what time was it? 8:00. So within half an hour of streaming time, there was an experience of an entire lifetime. And all of us have had these dream experiences. Only after waking up it can feel like, 'Oh, the dream went by so fast.' But in the dream, it seems like real time. Nobody is saying, 'Why is this happening, moving so fast?' and fast forward. It seems real like this.

So just like that, time and space are projected in the dream. Like I often say also, that if you run in a dream, it's not like you fall off the edge of the dream. It's not unlimited. Same way, time is also a projection of the same Consciousness. Unlimited time is available. And in the deep sleep state, actually, no sense of time and space. So the toys and the tools of the waking state of Consciousness are these toys of time and space. The dream state also has time and space unlimited. And yet when the dream state ends and the waking state starts, then we learn, 'Oh, that was such a short time, but it seemed like an entire lifetime.' How is that possible unless Consciousness was able to project this time and space? And why is it that we are able to accept it about space and not time? In a dream, we all accept there are mountains, there are rivers, unlimited amount of space. I can keep walking. How is it that we accept this about space but about time, no? Now that space-time is one continuum, not separate anyway—let's not go to scientific theory—we are saying that there has been direct experience of long periods of time, even lifetimes, in a single dream which happened in one night, in a short time within one night seemingly of this waking state.

So can we say time and space exist within Awareness? We can say that time and space are projections within Consciousness actually, which is ultimately made up of Awareness which plays different qualities. It seems more tangible, more solid. Being and seeing. Being is Consciousness; seeing with Awareness. Not phenomenal seeing. Witness even of that. No, it's not very clear because we are so attuned to giving the appearances this realm right now. Clock is in 8:00 a.m. and I went to sleep at 10:00 p.m., so therefore I slept for ten hours. That is why. But it could be a dream clock. It might be that this is your only day in this realm that you're experiencing. Maybe you go on too far. You see, we don't land up in a dream with amnesia. You don't say, 'Who are these people around me?' You recognize them, we interact with them. There must be some memory of them to claim that way. As we are interacting now, you have some memory of being here earlier, being online. Suppose it is all just projection of what you're just enjoying this realm only for this moment. Only now. Only now.

Now, can I ask the question? Yes. When you were saying about the witnessing, so I simply closed my eyes and until there is an attempt to look at it, there was no awareness, no witness, no witnessed. Until I attempt to look at it, there was nothing. These, I just found them as words.

Okay, let's slow down. Let's slow down. So before opening the eyes, was there no witnessing?

I did not understand what you are trying to say. Yes, so closing the eyes, was there no witnessing? Well, this is an attempt to look at it. This is, yes, I know there was a witnessing. Even now also what we are doing is a witnessing. That witness is something at the back of it, the final witness which cannot be thrown away. Yes, okay. But that witness, is it a total neutral witness? Yes. Okay. When I look up to that witness, it is wrong to say that it is nothing. It is beyond the three... yes, it just is. I cannot even bother with that witness. I cannot even merge it with that witness.

Cannot merge with that witness. Is this true? Can you leave the witness?

Actually, if I say 'I', and the 'I' is there, even if it is the big 'I' here, then this final witness is there. It is there. Okay. This final witness is not the bigger 'I'. It is beyond that. The final witness is not... like when you say 'I am now aware of I am,' when you say 'I am aware,' so this is happening in the Awareness, but this witness is even beyond this. It actually appears to be distant, totally unconcerned, disconnected. It is something like, you know, you are trying to catch something which does not exist there, but it appears to you there as a final witness.

Close. I'll be close at this because I feel it is a very important point which has been coming up very often the last few weeks and I feel it's a beautiful contemplation. Actually, whatever we can see, either there must be the direct Awareness or the direct knowing of it, or it must be just a concept, isn't it? Is there a third option? I am saying no.

No, listen to me for a minute. Actually, I disagree on this. The thing is, my experience is when you look upon it, then to see something there, it has to be somebody who is aware of it.

Then second hypothesis: how do you know the answer is there has to be something which is aware of it? Now what is that which is aware of it?

That is the Awareness. What does it do? It is aware of all these things. Actually, I say that is also seen. So only if I'm aware of that, I am seeing it. But there is something in my experience that is totally unconcerned with all this, totally unconcerned. I cannot describe this. And I cannot... I can only look up to this. I can only look up to this with the most subtlest awareness. I can look up to this, but this is even beyond Awareness.

So you are looking at something you say now with the most subtle awareness. But without the Awareness, would it be there?

That is a hypothesis. That is what actually I am trying to convey. This is an attempt to create it. This is an attempt to look at it, and the Awareness is existing in all these attempts to look at it. It is a stirring. When we say the thought comes, thoughts go, 'I' don't change. This itself is looked upon. This itself is looked upon. And the one who looks cares a damn about anything. It is not aligned. Awareness is aligned, but what I'm actually trying to convey is my experience is it is not alive. There is no way you can touch it. It means it is the source. At the most you can say it is the source. Awareness is not the source. Awareness is still a kind of something which is lit by the source, but the source has nothing to do with the Awareness. There is no 'I' that says 'I am aware' or 'I am aware' or 'Awareness is looking all these realms.' It doesn't even know. It is something...

It doesn't align. It is not a line. A way, this is a line, but what I'm actually trying to convey is my experience is it is not alive. There is no way you can touch it. It means it is the source. At the most, you can say it is the source. Awareness is not the source. Awareness is still a kind of a something which is lit by the source, but the source has nothing to do with the awareness. There is no 'I' it says 'I am aware' or 'I am aware' or 'awareness is looking all these realms.' It doesn't even know it is something very, very... build all this and eva's. This is a fallacy. This is a fallacy which is created by the source because something gets lies, something gets alive by the source and the mechanism, mechanism it starts working. And the mechanism, the maximum it can reach is 'I am awareness driven.' They said cannot go, but this mechanism itself in itself is sourced. You cannot touch that source. It is something like it is there; when you try to find it, you don't find it there. Even that the source is not concerned about.

Yes, okay. Very good. How can I say something? Please, please. I'm very happy actually that you defined it in such detail because this is the point where this seems to be some dichotomy, some confusion. Some we've been calling it the new Advaita, which is the traditional Advaita bait actually. I door and this, I don't know these columns, I had never wear this. Listen, don't worry. This is... so firstly, let's check for what I mean by phenomenal perceiving. You see, because that which you are calling awareness, which is a functioning, is what I am calling the phenomenal perceiving. What does it mean? That when beingness is here, there is an ability to perceive phenomena. Is a perceiving of phenomena that happens which the world usually calls 'I became aware of something' or 'am perceiving something.' So this is what I am calling the phenomenal perceiving. Why? Because it is used for this sort of phenomenal sensory perception to happen. This is illumined by the sense of being. It belongs to being, you see.

So that which you are in the way you defined it calling awareness, I call the phenomenal perceiving. It is a functioning within consciousness of this. Now, there is a knowing that before or this, it, there was nothing. You say, 'I know that there is something called the source.' Did you source or you can imagine? Either it is known or it is just conceptual. You say, 'I know that there is something called the source which is untouched even by this awareness.' Okay, but I not aware of it to be able to speak of it. So for you to be aware of it, there must be awareness. This awareness which is constant, I can say. You say there is the source; I say there is a pot of gold. I know it. What is the difference? Everything arises from this pot of gold. It is prior to awareness. See, now I'm speaking conceptually, but to stop me, I can say that there is a big rainbow; at the end of the rainbow, there is a pot of gold from which this entire awareness and being, everything arises. Is this knowing or is this concept? It is very important that we have this conversation. There must be a knowing of it for us to be saying anything at all, either, yes, be all we do speaking mentally.

So if there is a knowing of it, then the knowing must be there prior to that. This is such a simple point, but the mind doesn't like it, you see. It wants to come to some ultimate realization, but it is only either an imagination or a fairy tale or something. I don't know what, actually. For me, it seems so obvious that to me to say that awareness is also just a functioning, there must... I must be aware of it, no? For me to say that there is a source from which everything arises, there must be an awareness that that source is there. Otherwise, how can I see it? I can only otherwise hit if it's a concept. So either it's a very beautiful concept that we fit experience, we must figure out which one is it. To be able to say that there is a source which is prior to awareness, either I must be aware of it or it must be a mental concept. What is the good way?

So if it is a direct experience, then there must be a knowing of it which is prior even to this, which knows even this. Therefore, the source is in appearance. This, the idea of a source, is appearing to awareness, isn't it? What is the distinction, separation between the awareness and this so-called source? Are they not one and the same? Unless it's just a mental idea that we painted sometime. The mind can paint a picture or there exists this black space from which everything is arising, the light of consciousness, this black space. No, we are not talking about that. You're talking about who sees even this space? Who sees even the source to be able to speak about it? It is... is it not you? Not a personal you, of course, but it is you. You say, 'In my experience, there is a source which is prior to awareness.' Therefore, you are aware of that source. This awareness was there. Why is it so complicated? If it is seeming simple to me, or what do you guys feel about it?

This comes like... and but even then, even for a seeker, is it not very simple to say, to be able to report on the existence on something, there must be an awareness of it? To be able to report source or whatever term we want to use, there must be an awareness of it. So to be able to say that awareness also comes from this source, and who knows this? There must be a knowingness of it, which is what I am calling awareness. To be seemed in this way, experienced in this way, or it is just imagined or conceptual. Can it be a third? That's what I am saying. Why is it so confusing here? Yes, because... okay, now let's look at it in another way. Let's see it that there is this source, but can we say that this source is unaware? Cannot. Because it has to be aware of itself to be able to say that there is a source. That's what I'm saying. But if you want to go conceptually, then we can say anything is right over. Oh well, see, if this source is not aware of itself, then this source is not aware of itself is reporting 'there is... I'm aware of this.' Then you come from this source, you come to is not report. They will become hollow in your voice. You take a minute and then tell me what you want to see.

Okay, I think it's a mind trick.

Tell me, tell me what it... yeah, it's a trick of the mind, you see. This is... it is a trick of the mind with very good, very important thing. You see this because you can paint a picture of to all of that we are saying and we can draw one source which is prior to everything. Some call it love, some call it the source, some call it whatever, but there must be... you know, see it easy. That's all that I'm saying. How can there be that this source itself does not know itself? Then who can report over done the source? Yeah, it is all appearing in being, ugly. Yes, that's what I'm saying. It was important to clarify this. This is very important. I agree. That's why when we rely on Bhagavan's word, he said the 'I' that remains irrespective of the presence or absence of the 'I' is very important. Don't fall into any mental tricks.

What I'm saying is simpler than whatever the mind can see. All that we are saying is that whatever I am aware of it, either I'm aware of it, it's my direct experience, or I'm just making it up from my mind. There is no third possibility. So there must be... who... I need to use the word 'I' in this. I don't have a problem using the word 'I', but you can decide to use or not. I find this to be the true 'I'. What I really am is this awareness itself. How can we say awareness is divert? How can we say awareness is the unborn? If it is born through some source, then the source must be the unborn. And who will know the source but the source itself? All right, is the mental projection. I got it. Yes.

Now, what is the separation between you and this awareness? At what distance are you from this awareness?

I find a distance here, actually. Let's look together. I stay, where are you? Where is awareness? I'm here. You are here and I am aware. I am aware that I'm here and aware that I am here.

Very good. Now this awareness itself, at what distance is it from you?

I am aware that I am here is contained in this awareness.

Yes, very good. Therefore, you are contained in it or you are it in which everything else is contained. Both are correct. Yes, ultimately both are correct, but more accurately you are that in which even all these appearances are coming and going. It is a shift. It is a shift. So until there is a shift, it means there is a movement in the awareness. The shift is of what? The shift is of attention. Yes. Is that too? Will attention is reporting, is that also shifting?

No, that is never shifted. It is awareness and no 'I'. Not in my experience. It just is. There is no 'I' in this, it just is.

Yes, yes, it's okay for now. There is no 'I' would sooner with awareness is otherwise lost a Royce. Yes, I'm saying that because we got used to defining 'I' as if it is something personal or it is sensation like 'I am.' Even then we can say this awareness has no quality, no attribute, including the sense of 'I am' in yet it is undeniable. Fit you from this awareness, but it's okay. We don't have to be in a rush to call it 'I'. It's okay. It is just a way of expressing because we have to convert us. Yes, everything is no, every word is... yeah, it just is. This is... this is... this again is an expression further.

Yes, I am in into this. I am in this. But again, I wanted to clarify one more thing here or bi j anus or the beingness. I was reading my Maharaj book yesterday to stick only to one because Maharaj, it confuses a lot. He, you know, he uses 'I amness' and 'I am.' It is very difficult to know what he is talking about. So when you say the consciousness, the consciousness, everything is happening in the consciousness on the screen of the consciousness. So there is a consciousness and that there is a screen and all transient things are happening on the screen of the consciousness. So three different things. Fifteen is three-dimensional plus time and space. If you say it is high dimensional, I am talking to you, I am aware that I am talking to you. No, cc plus time makes it forty. This is the fifth dimension. Okay, but three-dimensional means this. What is three-dimensional? Space is 3-dimensional plus time and and and plus space. But please, we only taking a day in clearance only. So that is it okay. Okay, if I hold your 5e doesn't mean it is just a way of expressing. So there is a knowingness. This is the awareness, right? This 'I am aware.' Then within this 'I am aware' there is an 'I amness.' This is the consciousness. Everything is moving in the screen of the consciousness. Okay, something becomes both, he comes and goes. Then you say when the thoughts go, do you also go? Now who is this you? As you say there is a qualitative difference between the awareness and the consciousness is only a qualitative difference. So where you say 'do you also go when the thought goes?' I said no.

Yes. Who is this 'I'? Is this the consciousness or it was whatever I do? It is on, it is all the seen by the awareness. Because when the Bhagavan Mooji says 'can the perceiver be perceived?' So who is this person? Is it a phenomenal perceiver or is it a consciousness? Consciousness is 'I am' which again is a transient thing. It is not stable. It is stable in there may be dream state and in the waking state. In the dream state it is the witness as well as the participant also. In the waking state it is not participating. We free society when this does not come and go. This by experience is that in when doing about the awareness because consciousness itself is transient. Yes.

So this 'I amness' I suggest hasn't... so when the Maharaj says 'I am, I am, I am' the whole book he will keep on saying 'I am, I am.' This in severe at the end of the book is somewhere in the middle is abou he will put one the sentence that this 'I am' has to be translated is... so he collapses everything. He collapses everything.

Is I can tell you a bit of the trouble. I had a lot of trouble with am that actually and reading it now I can tell you that a lot of the trouble is because of the mistranslation. Because sometimes they referred to 'I am' as consciousness, sometimes they call it unchanging awareness. It can cause a lot of confusion when read like that. So that's why for me it's very...

The middle is about... he will put one sentence that this 'I am' has to be translated. So he collapses everything. He collapses everything. I can tell you a bit of the trouble I had. I had a lot of trouble with 'I am' actually, and reading it now, I can tell you that a lot of the trouble is because of the mistranslation. Because sometimes they referred to 'I am' as consciousness; sometimes they call it unchanging awareness. It can cause a lot of confusion when read like that. So that's why for me it's very important that we clarify the definition. And when we speak about this thing, it's better to be on the same page as to what the pointer is pointing to. Because if I say 'I am' and your pointer is pointing to a void, and then I say 'awareness' and your pointer is pointing to beingness, it all becomes very muddled, you see.

So here it is very simply defined. I use the terms 'I am', this beingness, consciousness, Atma, interchangeably. I use the terms awareness, Absolute, Self, pure witness, pure awareness, interchangeably. Now, you said the thoughts come and go. What is it that does not come and go? Even a thought is perceived phenomenally. It's an energy construct which is perceived in the presence of being. So being itself also does not come and go with the coming and going of thoughts and with the coming and going of any appearance. But ultimately, this beingness itself is transient because, you know, you go to sleep, there is no being, you see?

Yes.

Of course, awareness is completely untouched by any of this play of appearances. But even your space of being remains untouched, unmoved through the coming and going of these appearances, you see? And ultimately, even this comes and goes, but not phenomenally, you see. That's how you can't stop being now. Beingness is here. But ultimately, it does come and go. That's why we experience the sleep state where we say there is nothing, not even 'I am'. And they say the waking state comes, 'I am' is born. And so when I say 'I am here', it is only that consciousness which is here, you can see. And yet you that is aware of this is also here. I know you don't mean spatially, but awareness that beingness is, is here, no? Not here, here spatially, but here.

And did I promise to keep it very simple today? If I do, I'm sorry. Actually, maybe I hope I'm not hijacking this satsang.

No, it's okay. Because I feel that an important point is being clarified in this, and everyone must listen to them very carefully with no prejudice. Because I feel we had a very beautiful interaction about awareness, and now we are looking at awareness which is untouched even with the presence or absence of being. What is the difference between sleep state and waking state? As I like to say, what we accept that is over what we are looking at. So there must be something which is constant that knows there was sleep and now there is waking up. So this awareness remains constant. And it is the coming and going of consciousness ultimately which is also experienced or seen—known, which is a better term to use—by this knowingness or awareness itself.

So this 'I' which arises and wants to know 'Who am I?', it is basically a presence of consciousness. Yes, everything that is playing in this way is consciousness. There is nobody else. And this also is... is it consciousness which wants to know 'Who am I?' because it cannot come from mind. Mind would like to extinguish itself. It is definitely coming from consciousness. Now, the thing which remains to be clarified is: is it consciousness which wants to know and find ability to play right up with the play, or is this question arising in the play? Of course, it's all part of the play itself. Being you, just being the being, is unchanged as being. Being was playing as if it is an individual, and now being is getting out of the play seemingly. But actually, what happened to being? Nothing. Everything that happens phenomenally is part of the play.

So this question 'Who am I?' and looking at it, always looking at it, is its phenomena. This is a very good question. Then why bother about the phenomena? Because that anyway is coming and going. Yes, this is a very good question, and some of us have been contemplating this also together. Now, can the Absolute or awareness itself become unaware of itself? It cannot. It is unchanging Absolute. Therefore, it's a very valid question to ask: who is coming to the recognition of awareness? Therefore, in this form, 'I' or in this checking 'Am I aware now?', there are very few questions like this where beingness itself is coming to the recognition of its own source. See, because awareness is never confused about who it is. Beingness was pretending as if it was otherwise. Beingness was... what a potato provided? Maybe we can see how it goes. But this sense of beingness itself plays the game of person, pretending to forget who it is, this identity of the person, and coming to the recognition of what it is truly made up of, what is the source of being, is this awareness itself.

So awareness is not needed also. The recognition is awareness is aware of itself, but it is being which is coming to this recognition because being was playing as if it is a separate entity. So who is making the discovery of the non-phenomenal Self? It is consciousness making the discovery of the non-phenomenal Self, because the Absolute has never forgotten itself. It's a very good contemplation. Maybe we should stop here because I can see that I have almost alone in this room like this. Okay, well thank you so much, my dear. Very good. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Else I know people have to join in. Okay, my dear, thank you.

Consciousness was... is coming to the recognition of its awareness. So in the truth of our own... so was it also pretending on consciousness also the discovery?

Yeah, so when we pretend, pretend, pretend for too long, then it seems like the pretense is what it is. They say when we come to satsang, this is like the end game. You think you are the drop; now you see you are the ocean. So this recognition to remind... it's like a reminder. It's like the alarm clock. A reminder within this play is happening that I'm checking for myself or my... yeah, we're checking. Consciousness is checking. Who is coming to the discovery? Consciousness is.

So is it that consciousness has been pretending for so long that it's kind of believed that it's in this layer now? But truly speaking, it's always known that truly speaking it is not forgetting being is this being. These are very subtle realms to talk about. It is almost like putting concepts to these, but it's much subtler than really in any concept. You also have a view?

Yes, I'm not sure I have come up, but I really try to come up here with you, Father. You get a dish, they give up. No, I don't know for what came up for a given... wasted a lot in this stuff through better using it, protected, not mind valley. So now what is here? There is awareness, unchanged, and the sense of beingness. This, you know, there is this... I'm aware of this. That's it. Other exercise. And then there's this. There is no need even to understand because understanding is also inside of this. You notice only the mind wants to understand. Once you see where the term comes from, physics, to understand where the Sun comes from. Only the ego wants to know, it wants to know more and yes, it wants to make it put it. So you are directly checking where does the Sun come from, and the mind itself will come and say, 'But this is too much intellectual or abstract or too mental.' The mind itself which is mental says, 'What? This is too mental.' Yes, if you leave that aside, all that is mental aside, and check for yourself, that sounds too mental to my case.

Next, yes, you. Now, is this truth fully coming here now, or it's always been like this?

No, it is who I am. It is where and it's always been this.

Now, what problems can you have? Only imagined ones. That's very good. What can hurt you? I contemplate that question real times it comes up. The mind says a lot can hurt, really. But that mind is playing within me. Yeah, what can really hurt you? That truth which you are discovering yourself to be right now. Yeah, what can be... what can hurt this? Before happy, hurt. Because before hurt. So therefore, can it be here?

No.

Now, if you were to make the effort to be hurt, how would you do it? By believing what is coming up there. Believe it hard. But even in that belief, are you really hurt? No. When it's even... even belief is seen. Even belief is here. Therefore, the play of being hurt or not can happen, yes. But can you really be hurt? No. Play, see? In Father, please here, can it reality... can you have any fear?

Only if I believe and fear it closes in. Yeah, yeah. That which is aware of the fear is unhurt by it.

And up till now, the seeing was happening backward, Father. In a sense, I was seeing the object and from there the way, as if you're in the object. Yes, yes. Then looking at away a few times with like a medieval thingy earlier, but very... I'm back to source. As if you are not there, but you are an object which is... you can use in elementals, it has this little projection.

Yes, yes. Do you need any visuals to confirm this?

No. Visual cannot confirm, my Father. That's a very important point.

This, check for yourselves if you are relying on any visualization to confirm that which you are calling the truth. Because if it is just a visual, then there is a seeing even of that visual. And this awareness of even that is what you are. You are not the visual.

No, I can't say what I am. In fact, to figure out what I can't... I am, I can only say what I am not.

Yeah, okay. What are you not?

I am not any sensation. Not a sensation. Everything I can see, I am not.

Everything that you see, you are not. Yes.

See, by seeing I mean there's everything, you know, Father. But whatever it is, I can't... I don't know what I am, Father. All I can tell you is 'I' who doesn't know it is, is what it was. You see this? It's unseen, Father.

Is this your direct seeing or is somebody else? You see, somebody called me and... oh no, no, no, no. It exists. It's the same. Now, what concept, I feel, from outside or from your own mind can hurt you?

None. If your kid says you're a terrible father, your wife says you're a terrible husband, it doesn't hurt. I mean, it hurts philosophers of the later, are not reality.

Yeah, it's... it's only when there is belief going into that. And even the belief doesn't touch the awareness. This is the important point. Because if you say, for example, that you are a terrible father, some hurt can arise in the end, but that hurt due to the rising is not hurting what I really am. It is just a sensation which is again seen, right? So we're not coming to some sort of a robotic existence there. No experiences of air, no sensation move, no crease, no hurt, no a, no place. All of this realm of contrast is tasted. But if you've seen that what I really am is truly untouched by any of this, and yet that which is playing is also rising out of me and if so is me also. Do you have a past?

Sure, that's also belief. It's just a memory that comes and I do have some ideas of the future. It's just imagined for the nosiness. None of this applies to you in reality here.

Get it. It is there in the play. Yeah. So now your allegiance, if you were to talk like that, is to the you in reality or to the one in the play?

The reality. Just not to give the mind any, you know, it plays but... and you can watch the play, but not to give it beliefs here.

Slowly the right... because you say you're tired of the play. Because you see you're tired of the play, 'I want to come out.' That's on the playground to hope, and the belief in the mind is getting on the same. Yes, if you're done with the play and I see believing the mind is getting on the next ride, you see? So then I will say stop believing then, if you tell me to play. Yeah, if you say that 'I want to play as a person some more, not done with it,' why will I say anything? Play is not fun eventually. It is seen that the play is not fun and just something which is saying you okay with this is still fun. Something I was... I had a question on consciousness, so it's not important, Father. Something came and I just left.

Yes, if you're done with the play. And I see believing the mind is getting on the next ride, you see? So then I will say stop believing. Then if you tell me to play, yeah, if you say that 'I want to play as a person some more, not done with it,' why will I say anything? Play is not fun eventually. It is seen that the play is not fun and just something which is saying you're okay with this is still fun.

Something I was... I had a question on consciousness, so it's not important. Father exists, something came and I just left actually. All I've been noticing, the need to understand is what's fueling the whole seeker. I recur like, oh wise, what is going? You know, in a way it's better not to know the word consciousness or the word awareness eventually. And last week there was so much fear, Father, because there was this thing that I have to... I have to let go of you also. In... I don't know if you know what I mean. You know, there was this... is there any concept of Father also? It was just kind of playing here, here. That was very scary.

That is the last concept you can give here. Yeah, but it is a mind trick, you see. That the minute you come into such an openness, it can happen like this. 'Oh, you're getting too attached to Ananta now.' And I say, okay, amongst all attachments, it's best to be attached to that, no? Right, right. Let's drop everything else together first. When you get rid of me, I'll remind you.

Yeah, it wasn't coming from there. And everything more coming from that I have to look myself, if you know what I mean. You know, you have pointed me is now I have to look here and confirm for myself from... I think you're something arrival nervous. I have to look. We can look for whose idea it was. It's all the play. Besides this itself came, yeah, the whole seeker, the seeker identity. Yeah, I have to look, I have behind it. I think when I'm sitting in satsang, it's just this whole need to understand what's seen. You know, it's just a thought.

Like I was saying, there are two ways to say that the Sun comes from the East. One is to study the temperature of the Sun and the solar system, how it rotates, you see? Then you come to the inference: therefore, like we used to say in a math exam, 'therefore Sun first comes from East.' Your inference, right? The second is to wake up in the morning and then Sun rises. So self-inquiry is just waking up and checking your mind instead of trying to infer. Now, that which makes us try and understand over and over is the student in us. You try to understand many things by studying them, yeah, mentally. Even the inquiry seen, Father.

Yes, you know, you create just softly truth, then it always has been true. Thank you. You want to say something? Mike, you want to come here? You can come.

I was just curious. In a lot of books, so when you read about Vivekananda and Ramakrishna Paramhansa, there's a story that Ramakrishna Paramhansa put his feet on Vivekananda's chest and he could... he felt... there are stories of... so can that happen here? That's my question.

You out there cannot do, actually. Not to be too concerned about these energetic things. We stay with the inquiry and then something has to... I can tell you that everything that is needed for you to discover who you are is present here. So if it needs some energetic support in that way, then that will also make itself visible. But it's not about that, these additions. So it is about everything that is in service to your realization of the truth is here, in service to that. But if it ever becomes mainly about these things, then even that can be a distraction away from our inquiry, no? Okay, those very simple, like three... so what I'm saying is that everything that is needed for your realization of the Self is available here, including whatever energetic support is needed. But if it ever becomes about these things, then it is taking away from the discovery of the Self, no? Because you get very attracted. 'Oh, last time he touched my head, this happened. You know, I touched his feet, this happened.' Then today what will happen? Nothing. It can be exciting that, 'Oh, today this happened,' or 'Today nothing happened.' We don't want to play that game. We want to stay with what is core to what we are saying. It is: Who am I? Am I aware? With the reassurance that everything that is needed is here.

And how many are able to report that? So simple when I'm in satsang to enquire, and I go back to my house and it seems so much more difficult. So it's being supported, the inquiry is being supported here. But it is about the inquiry using everything. But I at least I try to make it at least a couple times a week now.

You're here. We call this the hot seat. So now, what is your truest introduction about yourself? As a person sitting here, what did this person look like? His body? Body. Then there's this body. One freedom? Not something else within the person? So it feels like there is something else here which is the person that wants freedom, that has relationships, that has money issues, that has body image issues. All of these don't belong to the body. So whose are these? Body doesn't care about religion. Body doesn't care about money in the background. Body doesn't even care about health of the body. So this one, it is into all of these and wants freedom also. Who is this one? So is body really a true introduction of you? Yeah, is it you? Produce it here. You win $10,000. Better knowing you notice there's a running offer here: if we raise a person, you win $10,000.

So it is... logically I know it's the being, consciousness.

Forget about this. Let's speak. So what is here? You say you see now that it's not just the body. There is something which wants these things, including freedom. Can you find this one? You've been catering to this one for this entire seeming life, and yet when we ask for it, it's so difficult to find and difficult to express. But it is here. The person is here. Thereabouts, these in the toes, in the fingers? The person is in there, small? Or it's now this that is all over? What does it want? Is anything personal about this that is all over? Is it concerned about past or future?

So the mind is trying to push in concepts. Mind will push concepts that I've been hearing over and over. So yeah, it's the law.

Let's make it simpler. Can you stop being now? No. And of being, what is this being? It cannot be stopped. On what basis do you say, 'No, I can't stop being'? So if everything stopped happening around you, there is no sound also, would you stop being now? That'll remain. This remains. What is that you? This presence, have any expectation in it? Does it want freedom also? No, nothing. There's nothing personal about your presence, which is being. It's just being, effortlessly, just here.

It sort of feels like oscillating between that and...

What is oscillating? I can check. Our attention could be oscillating between mind and presence. But even with the oscillation of the attention, is that which is aware of the attention, is that oscillating? Attention is reporting back to you, 'Attention is oscillating.' Is the you to which it is reporting back also oscillating? Not moving. All movements are perceived, are seen. Is the seer also moving? Can't latch onto that. Seer doesn't try to latch onto it. Try to leave it. Try to push it aside. Can you do it? Don't see. Don't be the witness. Don't be aware. Secluded, not there yet. But nobody get it back again. If the thought came, 'I'm not there yet,' yeah, right, that is also seen. Cannot leave this. You started this, yeah? They will left the destination.

It still feels like the mind is sort of filling up for you. It still feels as if the mind is still building it for you, sort of. The mind is breathing it, means it's presenting some visuals, you know, creating this whole feeling of what it's supposed to be because you've read so much. Because I read so much and heard so much that you sort of logically know what it should feel like. So it's still... logically I know, I know how sugar is, but I haven't tasted it.

Still not... I don't know. It's better not to know these because the mind comes and says, 'But where's the bliss?' Yeah, where is it? No, but it cannot be about a state. Most states are coming and going. Freedom must mean the freedom to allow our states to come and go. If it is just a state, then it is bound to go. Even if it is that we feels like we had the appearance of the great form of Krishna himself, like reveal our true place, it's said in the Gita, even that is an appearance ultimately. Yeah, better not to have these experiences because when they go, then the mind comes with the story, 'You had it, but now you lost it.' So the cognition of what we are is sometimes much more valuable than that which is accompanied with a lot of fireworks. But how did you find that? How do you know that? How do you already know of the sober realization of Self? So if we keep the sober or fireworks aside and then we check, am I aware now? Are you aware?

I am.

Please, what was seen to confirm? You're checking back inside. Checking happened. But as you control other things, it is glassful or not? You see phenomenally what color the Tic Tacs we see, you know? Is this a computer? Yes, we see scenography. But are you aware now? If you have a phenomenal seeing of awareness to say 'I'm aware,' as you saw awareness, what color was it? No, awareness doesn't have color. But yet you know you are. Awareness is the only non-phenomenal knowing or experiencing you can have. Everything else is tasted phenomenally. And this that is aware, are you separate from that? Is this separate from the awareness itself? No, not... it is one. So this is awareness aware of itself. This is the recognition of the Self, which is always like this. Simple, no? If you're not concerned about what fireworks or something which feeling they're coming with, thoughts are coming and what the mind is saying, recognition of the Self is as simple as this. It's always here now. Anyone who looks, 'Am I aware now?' sees yes, awareness is here. I am this awareness aware of itself. It's the recognition of the Self. I know it's a shocker because we heard the retake, so what effort and you have to give in, kirtan you have to do so much Atma Gyan, it can be as simple as just taking this question: am I aware now? And it stumbles somewhere and you forget it, right? Because the pain... but is there not awareness of the pain? Would you be able to say that there is pain unless there was the awareness of it? A resume limit is coming and going. So although... so what the important part is also the second part, which is: although the recognition is always in the instance, is always available now, does it mean that it is the end of all prior conditioning? No. Even the sages who have finished, the play of conditioning is in time. The picking up of conditioning and the dropping of practice. The recognition of the Self is always now. So that's what needs to be dropped now. Connections were not happening effortlessly in satsang unless you're coming to satsang and picking up new spiritual conditioning. It is the dropping of priorities. Like what? Anything, everything that can be said. If you just understood conceptually, then it becomes fresh conditioning. What must be heard then must be checked, yes? And then the concept can be dropped with the checking happening. Then we are not buying any new concepts. That's why I say, please use it as pointers to check for yourself. Then you're not picking up any new conditioning. Then every time you come to satsang, you're emptying your basket of conditioning more and more. Some conditioning, some identity will still... entities are not jumping off buildings saying 'I'm one with the roots of it' or drowning in the ocean saying 'I'm one with the ocean.' So this much in this cell will always continue. But the psychological conditioning, the wants, the needs, the guilt, the pride, these things will be dropped. And the best way to drop is to just check: Who am I? Am I aware now? In the checking of this, then the force is getting shaken out. So there was this question earlier about, 'But where are the fireworks?' So sometimes when we check, it can feel like a low...

Jumping off buildings saying 'I'm one with the roots of it' or drowning in the ocean saying 'Aham Brahmasmi'—so this much, in this cell, will always continue with the psychological condition: the wants, the needs, the guilt, and the pride. These things will be drawn for, and the best way to draw is to just check: Who am I? Am I? And now, in the checking of this, then the force is getting shaken out.

So there was this question earlier about 'But where are the fireworks?' So sometimes when we check, it can feel like a lot of the conditioning got stripped away and that you feel something—body shaking, crying, laughing. So that we call like an awakening experience, but that is not the important point. And it's available for everyone here now. What conditioning is going on and how much was there, how much is left to go, nobody can tell them. So we must remove this thermometer, this checker, the benchmark guy who is saying, 'I still have this, I just have that.' That is rich conditioning. Every time we are forming to a device, 'I still have to do this, I still haven't got it'—all of this is rationed. The mind will tell you a story: 'Yes, yes, we know this was very good, but you know, still this didn't have some way to cope.' I can tell you this kind of story. They are worthless. These stories will not clear about the recognition when we speak about the recognition being available in this instance. Not clear? Yes, you can speak on the mic.

So you say that there is so much pain that it is blocking me. Yes, like this. I can explain more correctly. Like when the point is again arising, and I'm not eating here, still this personality which provides... once you remove this playing with it and very much attention in this game, in this game of playing with a pig to more yet remove the payload and watered up into the witness of this game. But I want to ask you, because I can very easily choose to our advantage experience, and where is it? But the amendment of evacuation, your videos ask me what is happening. Is richness pure? When you ask me right now which happened is the sweetness, it's going quickly to the mind, going to mental.

Okay, okay. Consider that. Oh, okay, you see attention went to the mind. In front, would you see? You know, you see attention went to the mind. Who saw that? Attention went to the mind. You saw it. You witnessed. 'My attention is much happiness which I am, I am, I'm here.' But you saw it. Not maybe seeing it, it may simply be the mind. Are you really seeing? Yes. Nobody else is telling you this. Nothing. You saw it? Yes. It's that simple, actually. You are aware that attention moved. Yes. Attention was in the pain. Something was trying to resist the pain. Then when you said, 'Who witnesses this?' then attention went to the mind for an answer. All of this movement of attention—who saw? You saw. Somebody else? But you and somebody else and game-like concepts... considerable. I enjoy working. I know. All I need is spirituality of this 'I' that saw this movement of attention. What does this 'I' look like? Does it have a shape? Come on, step back. I okay, I'm away. What's happening here? I get this 'I' that is the awareness. What is the shape of this 'I'?

Shape means form of this 'I'?

You don't just steal some moments. I want you to cover for me. And the simple answer right there is, of course, no form. It cannot be here. But we are checking now. Okay, you see that appearances are changing of them. The appearance of pain, sometimes appearance of imagery. You, the one who sees that—does that have anything? If you know, like now, some experience is here and now. I hear. I have a moment to have a form like I noticed I needed that time. Now, now, no, no, no, no. Maybe now you are formless in the total here. If the truth is here, it must be here without taking any time. Really, who are you now? Now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now. Who are you?

No form.

No form. Did you give us what has nothing and something? Now, now, no, this. If you don't think about it, where do you vanish? When do you? We can come here.

No, no. Oh no, oh no. Wow.

Okay. You don't give it any time. It already takes no time. If you didn't think about thinking, it's useless inquiry. Who am I? You're just what is now. Oh my, that's right. And it's said this child has no ego. This was doing asked—she's two and a half years old—because they cannot, they do not think about this. They don't have a separate identification, identity. And yet the normal functioning continues. The body of the child... the mind says without the person you will become unavailable. But the child knows all the basic functioning what is required, how to drink from the bottle. It's not sitting and thinking about like, 'Oh, you can...' This has no time. This is the way the mind itself is coming and saying, 'But it's becoming mental now.' The mind itself comes and says, 'But now I am giving it to the mind.' You're not doing anything, will you? The mind is saying these things, but it seems to have a chair. You're on the seat. You don't need to kill like a degree. I don't want this chair. Let that habit play out as it wants to. What happened to the witness?

Okay.

The mind says, 'Once you're rid of this fear, or do you get rid of the habit, remove fear, then you will be free.' I'm saying you're free in reality, and the habits and actions, what need to happen, continue to happen. What happens in the witness? Appearance or absence of fear—does it touch you in reality? Or something from this fear? No experience also told them to wait for some experience. More naturally than that, already you are. Not to wait for something to happen. Don't wait for something to happen. You're already here. What is fresh here now in this moment? Now, now, now. What you need to pick up from the past? Now, now.

Like my impure saying there is no, you know, in nothing.

Yes.

If you're saying, but then my pure seeing is only by closing my eyes. No, but there are appearances out there. So how do the things become impure? But appearances are there. The world is there. Yet, so how does it become impure?

So you know, your happily means when we say conditioned seeing or conditioned perception, it only means that they're looking at the world through this concept of 'me.' You know, 'What's in it for me? What will happen to me?' Fortunately, I'm having a talk with you. 'What's in it for me in this talk?' Like that. Then we become very constricted in that. 'What value are you adding to me right now?' But here it is where it's arising. This 'me' is like that. You go for a meeting with someone, always, 'Okay, let me get to the point, what's in it?' We basically wear the world has not used to moving them. We look at something, we want to look only at beautiful things because you want to get that exact, that goodies from what you were to see. Everything that we look at: 'What's in it for me? Was it mine? Is this making sense to me? What am I getting?' You're used to that. So that is conditioned perception. In some way, that just stops in this one prompt. 'What's in it for me?' is nothing. It's more universal. Anything is allowed to arise. There's no concept of every interaction having to do something for me. I'm not talking about me at all.

Yes, so then it is pure. But as I was telling you, then when I close my eyes and then it's like, you know, you're here in the causal state, or you are in the deep sleep state where it's a pure seeing and there is no object. Everything that that experiencing sleep state anyway. Yeah, but in pure seeing something was wanting to experience this little. That's why it works. But I know something is seeing that. Were you experiencing Brazil? No, no, I'm not saying that. If that is gross... let me know phenomenal appearance wrapping. I was done with phenomenal appearances completely. I know that everything that is seen is not the truth. Okay. And what I haven't shifted to in my awareness where I am—I am not, I am awareness all the time. But yet, but yet I see appearances, phenomena all the time. That's why the waking state. Yeah. And so then everything comes and goes and there is no 'me-ness' and nothing happened. But the play goes on. Yet conditioning drops, as he said in satsang, a lot of conditioning is dropping. And yeah, and it's all beautiful, really beautiful. Yet absolutely beautiful. But we just don't... yeah, see the work. Yeah, this campaign and everything is beautiful, everything. And we'll just go to the 'but.' If you don't pick up your phone, the thought is, 'And what's in it for me?'

Yes, same thing, same thing. But yeah, I gave the witness camera. It cannot be that everything is beautiful and there is a 'but.' So either you will say everything but this thing is beautiful. So what is the 'but' this thing? The habit is to, you know, pick up now that an offering in satsang is dropping, but it's there. There's something, some something comes up. Lots of challenges come up. Yeah. And again, it's a thought. Yeah, it's all about now. Tell about now. Don't believe your next thought. Now. But the habit... I still wait to have it. Now is very heavy. Another environment. It's all about now. And when you are so alert and unpickable thought... no, no. Give it a move on the floor. The world can come and go, but the flow of thoughts that come, you take some somehow. Yes. And then you pull them away. So in the moment if you found you picked up some thoughts, then you have to like and throw them away. Yeah, it's a play. And now you start fresh. And now it's, in fact, it is much more hard work to be very cool. Yeah. Because every now is not collaborating with your individual sense of identity. You will see.

No, no, and I'm free now. But I can see again the 'but.' Some we also put while when I went to education in the energy field, whatever happened in bicycles. Now you will feel okay, the story is there. Monticello now, this region now, now, now. The story of the 'but'—I still want to protect it, you know. What you know, some of the things he chopped off.

Yes, is it there? It's wrong. You chopped it in her head and got it right. Joe, you did really good. Major things happened to me there in the energy field of Virginia and our... so the seeing was so pure in nature. Kollek was trying to introspect, but it was so good about seeing Gilligan colors. Honey, is the freeing also changing its colors? A rule in content is changing colors?

No, the heart was involved in the being, was involved in the seeing, being with the world. Yeah, that's what I felt because it was so much beauty. There was so much beauty, you know, you know. And now, now I'm aware and that's it. What beauty? Or you want to sell? I don't understand because I threw all of it because I said everything, everything which is beautiful that was happening, boundless love, and I said that that's not good enough. You all too, because of you pulling my leg, I did. I would, you know, each other.

The mind picks it up again. Habit. Life is difficult, you know. When I'm at your feet, Holly, that's a skater you're gonna... because I was still there. No, because I told you to... oh, I'll be a little pulling my museum always at your feet. Yeah, then there's something a goose beside the seat. That seat is your feet is just here. Yeah, imagine you don't want to roam so good. Yeah. What is exist so good? Yeah. So, you know, all these things need checking. So I'm, you know, this has helped me seeing with you now, helped me because, you know, you go back to the habit to lint it. The mind goes back to the habit and picks up the coming. But no, it's always beautiful and always everywhere. Thank you, thank you.

Sound. As long as we are not buying the thought about it, then everything that is in our theorem is appearing within the pure seeing. It's so we assumed. Yeah, we sometimes require use the words 'cosying up.' You're witnessing this to talk about that which is a non-phenomenal witnessing. Phenomenal perceiving is this sensory perceiving and the inner passing. And I refer to pure seeing as that which is the quiet refusing even of all this play of machine. Fear is not like a qualitative thing like you are. If some tendency is mixed up, makes it empty or not, that's not how. Just totally at the mashing phenomenal or physical. This only means that those who carry the Master's presence in their heart, and I am concerned about everything else, it happens in bliss, most beautiful existence. Yes.

Phenomenal perceiving is this sensory perceiving. And the inner perceiving, I refer to pure seeing as that which is the quiet refusing even of all this play of the mind. Fear is not like a qualitative thing. It's not like if some tendency is mixed up, it makes it empty or not. That's not how it is. It is just totally at the mind. Phenomenal or physical, this only means that those who carry the Master's presence in their heart, and I am concerned about everything else, it happens in the most beautiful existence. Yes, and the Master can never leave. And also coming to satsang, you are getting moved with that which is instructing. Also coming to the side of your life, you are getting a good idea. But one can take that, another one comes, and then you can take a few moments.

You see, it's so much gameplay, yeah. And more my fault, you see, it's all from the mind, Father. What's the main message? Could it reach the same? I don't know. And yet there's nothing to this. But in the play, it feels like, what is going on? Yeah, like even when the mind makes us feel that I have to do it, like I know Father's pointed out and I have to, whether it plays out here to explore ship. We also see tears when I pick it up. I'm here right now, yes, but this is a greater problem.

I forget it's me. You got a witness, brothers. I'd love to be... I'm something stupid by completing. I know that, I just know that, but it still goes on and it's terrible. She's been there, she's been there. It's getting bad, but often seniors love to be here. Let me get back to you. What must I believe you to be? The appearance gets really bad. Look at this weekend. Okay, oh my god, what happened today? Like they make it for us like, oh my god, you're not a sweetie. Ah, getting there, and then it adds on to the icing. So what? So good. You said there's some conditioning in the world. What is the positive? It's a team which is gone, something. It's so much easier in satsang and I know, I think, thank you. It just doesn't feel like the conditioning is dropping away, Father. That's the problem. And I'm serious, like I'm really like, I don't want to do anything right now. Like as much as the feeling is it should drop, it is not dropping.

You believe anything? Oh my god, when it's not that, it's so much easier, this. Yeah, I'm sorry, I come up with the same thing again and again and again. But it's that's me. Who wants the conditioning to go? It's not my problem. I want it to drop. Why you want it to go? This is my Father. The one that wants it to drop is the condition. If you have any tangible existence, this one, same chapter there: 'I want the conditions to go.' Okay, conditioning is as well as actually it seems like it's getting worse, difficult. That's also to take away just what you have to do is not... I know, Father, because you have to check of the injection. So what happened is that even, even the one that is checking, the checker guy is here. Is it? So you don't have to take, just give up.

Speaking like it gets to a point where just like, truly, doesn't love or you die.

No, no, just give up. You are not going to win in spirituality. Just give up. You will not win this game. You're not complete and close up will not pass here. They got lucky. We miss my singing them anything at all. You, I take it away. Hey, y'all liking the look on, because you could see what was happening of them. The thing you have to do is keep coming to satsang. That's all. Don't track your conditioning or how much free you are. Nothing you have to do. Don't have any idea of what freedom is. No, don't have this sense of, 'Oh, I'm bagging more conditioning, actually.' This thing, go check. Okay, I'll click on that now. Actually, I'm adding more. Easier to reduce. The Joker is Batman's arch-nemesis; the checker is my arch-nemesis. Nothing is happening, then you want me to believe all that. Something like, it's like a sense of this place shouldn't be like this. It shouldn't be so painful.

It's alright. It was painful, whereas when the checking goes on, it's very, very... it is like not nice. Now, what do they stop? What it can only be nice or not nice? Okay, I'm not going to say anything, but I'm not to say anything to you. I'm really good on it. Is he absolutely cactus? Yeah, you, you, you can say that again, fella. Even when the seeming not nice things are happening, is there no juice in it whatsoever? You don't feel anything which is some sense of enjoyment? It is what I don't like being. It is this is a good... do it with ease. I don't like, like I don't, but not in a nice sense. Like enjoyment is not like in the sense that we know enjoyment until there is enjoyment compared. Because that is why it is bliss. In the contrast, both are enjoyable in this. Okay, yeah.

I think it's just, it's like wanting the taste of the honey that I've already tasted. It's for you only, heavily cool. That's how I choose to play, but I don't know. No, no, you're not. No, Father, I'd like to protect. I don't like, like when you, when you say consciousness chooses to do this, to play a certain way, I don't feel like I consciously choose to play like that.

Good. This one does not exist. Yeah, the one that is pretending to speak as if it is consciousness is non-existent. So many times we get this question, though: 'So if I am consciousness, I must be able to just create a palace for myself and a million dollars here or something.' But that one is not consciousness. It's just part of the energetic field of consciousness. There is now the true voice of consciousness. So joy will not... like, joy is not for this one. Don't think that is you. When you feel something is happening to you, it lies to make a somebody out of you. I cannot buy that. Nothing's it, which is not understanding what I'm saying. I understand people to see. No, I didn't kill a chicken the way Wall Street... yes, this is children, you know. Talk and I say hotel. Okay, two, three. Is there a Ram in the house? There is a Ram in the house. Okay, who's in then? Nobody. No, nobody. Exactly. See your son living. Nobody there. What was it about? All this empty over this might be nothing. There's nothing happening here. Something like this is so, so amazing. I am, even if the appearances seem to become full or something, who is it hurting? Nobody. All this to do watching. Oh my god, she's not happy with me. As you have understood, the entire gang is this amazing.

The word 'click' really makes you feel like there's something going to happen, especially like a future projection. Like past is like usually on you, but the future, oh my goodness, you're deadly mustache. This one that's been coming up, that kind of like being fearful of going psychotic or something, I don't know why somewhere this one is coming. I just have to let them that you would just like... and it gives the projection of the gotta be like a mental hospital. I don't know what mountains is coming around and that exists. It brings a lot of... yeah, well in reality it's nothing, but when it feels like, you know, really flipping there, nothing till nothing. It's really good to see from the truth, it's nothing. The mind does just have to give this fear to you. Whether it's been coming up, I don't know where all this mountain concern and the neighbors and...

Everyone we meet in the world convinces us that you are somebody and something is happening to you, and something is happening to me. Everyone is sharing the same story: 'I am somebody, you are somebody, something can happen here, something is happening there.' Yeah, I am saying that you are nobody and nothing is happening to you. And yet appearances can come. I'm not in denial of appearances. Feelings can come which can seem strong. How their appearances can come which can seem strong, we are not in denial of those, but I know in reality nobody is suffering from them.

It's like when you say awareness, it's not like... it's not like set, yes. Not in reality, it is not a print. So it's not like awareness is there and then all this will hear like, oh, and it really all comes of you from your neck. That's just where this cannot be there. This is reality. Yeah, it's not like awareness is that. I mean, I'm speaking from the mind now, like because it's just a sense that everything, even in this body or the thoughts or feelings, is all just empty. There is nothing there. It's much...

Can I talk to everything which is appearing within the body? You are aware of it, you?

Yes, but I don't... I'm not located anywhere. Yes, because like the mind paints a picture of like awareness is... and I'm just so aware of the picture that cannot be painted. But then there is a sense that the same emptiness is just everything, like appearances are emptiness. Something feels like there's a visual of this emptiness or some imagined emptiness.

So let's say instead of emptiness we say a non-phenomenon. Is that better? It has no qualities or attributes.

Yes, Father. What I feel like everything is just... even the phenomenal doesn't really have anything in it. Just what I'm saying, I really am. So that means I'm painting something or it's like there's a few games that it's empty, like there is a sense of emptiness. But is there a knowing to this emptiness?

No, it's the standard version. It's an intuitive sense. But the mind can also paint something and then that's what I'm going to check, like if it's coming from having heard it from before. Because you hear it so much, so much now that to tell kind of sometimes hinders. There's just a sense to fall beyond me and this emptiness is the awareness. Like, it's to who knows that it is empty or is nothing? There is a knowingness of this appearance. Say everything appearing is fundamentally nothing. This is known, isn't it? It means this knowingness, once we bear them some difficulty with that, but it's very simple actually to someone, yes. Because if you say, 'I have nothing,' for example, then what are we saying? 'I know I have nothing.' Yes, that's all I'm saying. Anything that we can say from the place of direct experience, we can say that I am nothing or a being. And this awareness means what? I am aware of this awareness. I am aware of beingness. I'm aware of this nothingness. It goes without saying that we are speaking from a place of knowing this directly. You can say even like a radio using a year that I know that there is something which is even prior to this knowing, but that content itself is self-contradictory. Is there a knowing of something which is prior to knowing? It was duly knowing with note that anyway. Will you forget about it later? It makes something. I just know that everything's empty now.

Go to... did I tell someone? Not more. This is good as or not bad. We should use this more. You stop it. Quiet. Stop. Then grind anymore. It's just too much for me right now. Like if I feel like I said, I just sit ready. It's what you were doing was a query.

Yeah, this feels so not knowing what's going to come because anything that comes is on the mind. No, for me like any inquiry is from the mind. Just don't do it anymore. But I really am just looking at the knowing, like just just that, even more than the presence because I action of it comes to presence a display like start show me like this nonsense like this. You can see it like that. Yeah, something just wants to go. Thank you. Thank you all so very much for joining in satsang today. Satguru Sri Moojiji Ki Jai.

Not knowing what's going to come, because anything that comes is on the mind, no? For me, like, any inquiries from the mind, I just don't do it anymore. But I'm really just looking at the knowing, like just that, even more than the presence. Because the action of it comes to present a display, like it starts to show me like this nonsense, like this. You can see it like that, yeah. Something just wants to go.

Thank you. Thank you all so very much for joining in satsang today. Satguru Sri Moojiji Ki Jai. Love you all so very much. And you can now visit us still using the website to learn when the next...