De-Mystifying the Non-Phenomenal Reality That I Am - 11th February 2016

Sharing from the terrace, she says all mental knowledge and all concepts can be kept aside. That's exactly what we point you to. And what is selling the mental concept? What is selling beliefs? What is selling ideals? It is only these thoughts or the mind. So often we use the word mind and ego interchangeably, but there is a slight distinction because mind is just this energy of thoughts; the ego is the sense of separation that comes after believing the thought. So the mind is like the agent, the catalyst for ego creation. Anyway, getting technical, so let's not worry about that. We kept it aside, which is good.

She then says without relying on any concept, it is seen that there is the appearance of that which we call being or consciousness. And that was the purpose of giving everyone this pointer: 'Can you stop being now?' It was to introduce you to the appearance of consciousness. This consciousness is also appearing to I. A big phenomenal play appearing and disappearing happens. So within this phenomenal play, there is a little knowing, little awareness. When I mean little, I don't mean little as in limited; I mean the small 'k' and the small 'a'. It is the conceptual knowing or the intellectual knowing. But the appearance of being is not conceptually seen. No concept can help us with that. It is a direct seeing that being is here and I know that.

If I was to say 'find your being,' a few rare ones might see this if you are new to Satsang, but for most of you it becomes a struggle. 'How do I find my being?' It is a big struggle here also: 'How do I find this being?' But I find if I ask 'Can you stop being?' then it is just seen that being is here. How can I stop this presence that is here, the sense 'I am'? This is seen not with worldly eyes but with non-phenomenal seeing or awareness itself. And therefore, when you say 'I cannot stop being,' although the words are reported in phenomenology, they are not a result of some belief or some concept. They are only arising from what is directly seen.

Words can come from only two places: they can come from the direct seeing or they can come from some beliefs. So now they are not coming from the belief in God anymore; it is coming from the direct experience of God, isn't it? So just like this, then it becomes clear that this is consciousness. This being is consciousness, and all this phenomenal play is appearing and disappearing within this being. And then we come to this place where the mind has no chance, because when we ask 'Who is aware even of this being?' no intellectual concept, no mental knowledge can help. And yet it is seen that there is a seeing of this being. It is seen that there is a seeing of this being. That is where, when we say being is here, it is not coming from concept; it is coming from this seeing, the direct experience as I call it.

So to see that there is a seeing, it is seeing seeing itself. Don't let your mind convince any of you now that these words are complicated, okay? Because we can see that being is here, therefore there must be a seeing of the being. And because we can say that there is a seeing of the being, there is a seeing of the seeing. Maybe this part I repeat here a few times, but there is a seeing of the seeing, which is awareness aware of itself. Again, I'm saying not in the worldly sense of the word 'see,' not in the phenomenal seeing or knowing, but something which cannot be expressed phenomenally is aware that awareness is here.