Contemplation on the Ashtavakra Gita Chapter 13 - 23rd August 2017

What he is basically saying is that you don't need to be anything more than what you are already. You don't need to move an inch. Before you decide to start, you are That. Before you decide to look, you are That. Before you start your practice, you are That. During the practice, you are That, and after the practice, you are still That. If something is missing right now, if you feel like some experience must complete myself, then know that this is just a trick from the mind. Only the Self is, and it is forever complete, beyond the concept of completion. What did the sage say earlier? 'Your only bondage is not seeing this.' I like to even go a step further and say: only bondage is the pretense that this is not true already, the belief that you have to become something to become the Self.

Sometimes I jokingly ask all of you: if you are looking for the Self, are you sure first that you lost Him? He says, 'Ten lifetimes I have just meditated because I want self-realization.' So, the eleventh lifetime before this, did you lose something and now you're looking for to find the Self? Where to go to find the Self? Has anyone said that 'I was just here and there it was sitting on the carpet, the Self. I was drinking the coconut and in the coconut water, there it was, the Self'? What has the discovery always been? 'I always was That. What was I looking for? I have only been this.' And so, the great saint Kabir Ji, actually he said that: 'Paani mein meen pyaasi, mohe suni suni aavat haasi,' which means 'The fish is thirsty in the water; hearing this, I laugh.' But this looking for the Self is even beyond this fish thirsting for water, which is the water thirsting for water.

If for one moment we drop our allegiance to what the mind is saying and you see what you are right now... who feels they're missing? Who can say, 'I look and I did not buy a concept from the mind, and just in my looking, I don't find it'? Those can come up. If you don't find yourself, then you come up in your looking. How can you feel like that? Firstly, when you look, you don't find yourself? Don't fear. You feel afraid of peer pressure? So am I then, because I don't see any hands, am I then to presume that in this moment when you look, you see that it's only the Self? This is just the same. Maybe some of you are shy, so I will give you some room. Some of you might be actually thinking that, 'Oh, actually I don't find the Self, but you know, I am one in twenty-five or something like that, so let me not take on the shame of being the only one not finding the Self.' In fact, there are many clues now.

How many? Fifteen, eleven, and countless. And so all these clues are pointing to that. So first, don't expect to find something which is an object, okay? So what you have to see is, 'Yes, I see the Self.' So that's exactly what we are going to talk about, because 'I see the Self' can sound like it is an objective seeing. That means I see an object and then I can confirm, 'Yes, I see the Self.' But this seeing what is being spoken of is the only non-phenomenal experience. And what is the only non-phenomenal experience you have? Can you tell me about something you experience which is not phenomenal?

Sleep.

Sleep. Very good. In deep sleep, there is no phenomena. There you are, though. So you experience you. Then you see the whole phenomena is there, even I am not there to experience sleep. Nobody but yourself. Beautiful clue. Even when all phenomena are gone, you witnessed that all phenomena are gone. You were aware of the absence of phenomena just as you are aware of the presence of phenomena. So this seeing is different from the phenomenal seeing. This knowing is different from phenomenal knowing. And yet, even if these words sound complex, I just ask you: if you are aware, are you aware now? If you are aware now, I can tell you that most likely, unless the mind is conjuring up an image of awareness, you are experiencing your non-phenomenal seeing, on the basis of which then in the play of consciousness you are reporting it.

Can there be a clue more direct than this? And some of you will have trouble with this clue because you will try to understand it. You try to contain it in a conceptual framework, which is not going to happen. Where did this awareness come from? Does this also have a birth? Does this have a source? Does this come and go? Does it have a quality? Does it have a shape? Does it have a size? Could it be that this qualityless, unborn one is what my true Self is? How many of us are open to this possibility? At least if you are open to at least this being a possibility—that you are not a thing, you are beyond all things, beyond all qualities and attributes—then it is going to be very simple. But if your idea of enlightenment exists that you will become another man or woman, then you remain a thing, a very enlightened thing, a thing with a halo. Could it be possible that I am not a noun? I'm not even actually a word, but I'm more of a verb than a noun. I'm more of a seeing than a thing. Could it be this? You are not a thing at all.

So let me see. You are not the person. This is what it means. Can we taste a non-person for just one moment? Wherever your idea of what you are is stuck, find out who witnesses that. So if your idea of what you are is stuck on the body, find out who witnesses the sensations of the body, and don't apply a mental answer. Look with your insight. If your idea of what you are is stuck with the mind, then find out who witnesses these thoughts. If your idea of what you are is stuck with a particular emotion, find out what witnesses even that. Then you'd be like Ashtavakra. You could see so simply that 'I am the shoreless ocean in which the arcs of this universe, they come and go, but I remain untouched, unaffected.' As long as you consider yourself to be an object within this universe, can you truly call yourself the ocean?

So all these clues are so useful. What is going to last forever? What does not come and go? The sage said that reality must be that which is our own insight and it does not come and go. And if it does not come and go, where must it be now? Reality, where must it be? That which does not come and go, is it possible that it is not here now? If it never comes and goes, is it possible that you have to run towards it in order to grab it, go for it? Or is it the basis for even the appearance of the one who wants to grab something? What is the basis for you? Where do you come from? Where do you go? Can you go and show me? Wherever you go, you will find only the Self. Nobody can run from this truth. How will you escape yourself? Only in ideas.

That's why I usually advise the opposite. Instead of trying to find the Self, try to lose the Self. And instead of trying to find your being, try to stop being. Just don't be, okay? At least don't be aware that you are. Just don't be aware that you are. Then we look for the Self together with you. Let's lose it first. No thing. We look. Who was able to do it? Stop being. Stay with that. He says it's so simple and all this effort seemed so foolish. Exactly what the sage is saying. He's saying: 'The body is drained by practices, the tongue tires of scripture, the mind numbs with meditation. Detached from all this, I live as I am.' The fish in the water thirsting for water. The water itself looking for itself. Try it.

You just won't be aware that you are. Then we look for the same together with you. Let's lose it first. No thing we look for. Who was able to do it? Stop them. Stay with that. He says it's so simple and all this effort seemed so foolish. Exactly what the sages say. He's saying the body is trained by practices, the tongue by titles of Scripture, the mind comes with meditation; detached from all this, I live as I. The fish in the water thirsting for water, the water itself looking for itself trying to quench its thirst.

Recently I started saying that if a grape came to you—if a grape came to you and it was convinced that it is an orange—you tell me what you would say to that orange or grape. And your words will sound exactly like the words in satsang. It's all just one big misunderstanding. Just see what you already are. The orange is saying, 'Oh master, Father, please, I want to be a grape again.' But you are that. 'No, no, you're just being nice, or just in your presence I am the grape, but actually I must be orange only because mind is saying I'm orange.' But look, you are green. 'Oh, maybe that is happening right now because I'm in satsang. How do I get rid of my orange thoughts?' Don't believe them because they are not true. 'But they come all the time, I want them to stop.' That's a trick. That's a trick to convince you that you are an orange. You were never anything but the grape.

This is like the conversations we have in satsang every day. And this orange, can you find it? Can you find the person? Nobody has found it. Nobody has found it. Can you lose the witness? Nobody can lose it. See? So nobody can find the orange, nobody can lose the grape. Nobody can find the ego and nobody has ever lost the Self. This is why this is a divine mystery, you see. So this is also a divine display. Individuality is also a divine play because only consciousness could have played this trick upon itself. At the supreme lawn in which all these universes come as they are arcs, they come and they go, and it considers itself to be this little body-mind organism.

So today I try to figure out ways to tell you that you are the green, and I also tell you that the only thing that is convincing you that you are an orange is your next thought. And then I say, 'Okay, just all you have to do is don't believe this one.' But you say, 'What? But I have to believe it.' Do you really have to? You don't have to do anything because you are God, you are consciousness. If you start from the perspective that you are the orange, then the orange thought will be attractive to you. If you start from the perspective even that you are an orange trying to become a grape, then thoughts about how the orange should become a grape will be attractive to you. Have you taken the metaphor too fast? It's actually like this: you are that and that alone.

With the first verse, see: 'The tranquil state of knowing Self alone is rare, hidden even among those who own what the landlords are. Therefore neither renounce or accept.' Verse three: 'Realizing that nothing is done, I do what comes and I'm happy.' Realizing that nothing is done, I do what comes and I'm happy. And this can seem like it is a contradiction, but it really isn't. But all that is happening, they are just movements within consciousness. Nothing has happened to consciousness. Nothing is actually done, and yet this movement can continue or stall. Sometimes I jokingly say, isn't it that the Zen master says, 'Before enlightenment, chopping wood, fetching water; after enlightenment, chopping wood, fetching water.' I'd like to add two words to that: 'or not.' Nothing has to be anything. It can continue to be as it was, chopping wood, fetching water, or it can be completely different from that. It makes no difference to the Self.

So many different examples we can take like this, but none of them come close to the simplicity of your self-recognition. If your friend comes to you and says, 'Please help me, I've lost my head,' but he says, 'We have the head. In fact, the mouth is attached to the head and you are speaking from there.' 'No, no, it's not true. I don't see it. I see just a little bit of a nose right now.' You don't see your head and you just see a little bit of a nose. It is big like mine, so I'm convinced that I don't have one. What did you do? Say, 'Who? You look really... what is here?' First, I think you really have a head or not is another. In fact, there was a great teacher, forgetting his name right now, maybe one or two hundred years ago, he had this spiritual contemplation exercise which was a Zen contemplation. It was called 'On Having No Head.' Just notice that you don't have a head right now. Douglas Harding, was it? Something like that.

You're making me hungry for grapes.

As long as not oranges. Look, trouble is, you know what trouble is? Not that the orange is looking for the great Self. The trouble is that the orange is looking to become a better orange. You're looking to become the enlightened ego, the enlightened person. If you're waiting for signs that confirm the truth of your freedom, and on the reverse, on the converse, if you have to proclaim your freedom, even that is not freedom because it is beyond this doing and non-doing. It's completely possible to survive forever, actually. Would you survive for the next ten minutes without believing the notion about yourself? Is it possible? Next ten minutes without believing any notion about yourself? Not as a meditation, because the sage just said the mind numbers meditation. So we're not meditating, simply looking. How many feel it is possible? Okay. That one notion will allow is not requested. Let's see how many feel it is not possible to remain for a few minutes without picking up a notion, a position, a reference point, identity about ourselves? We typed it out over there because I can't see all the hands at one time.

And notice that as you remain empty of any notion about yourself, our existence continues. Existence is independent of whether you have a notion or not, whether you have a concept or identity. Or if you forgot that you are alive, you will continue to exist. Yes? So which notion do I have to hold on to to exist? Now you have to see for yourself whether these notions are bringing you joy or are they bringing you suffering. Is joy not independent, field arising on its own? We misunderstood this, what this existence is. Maybe, maybe that is the biggest misunderstanding. We have misunderstood this existence to be something limited, something personal. This existence is the presence of God.

Yogis who preach either effort or non-effort are still attached to the body. I neither disassociate nor associate with any of that and I'm happy. Yogis who preach either effort or non-effort are still attached to the body. I neither disassociate nor associate with any of that and I'm happy. So beautiful, you see. And you can see that thousand years ago also, same thing. Thousands of years ago when the scripture was written, even in today's world, many are preaching this concept that you are not the doer because we have believed for so long that I am the doer. And you can have this reverse concept: you are not the doer. But even in this pointing, the 'you' is what? The body. A body-mind, if you want to be generous. Neither the dual nor the non-dual. You are not an object. Whatever you believe with regard to your worship, what is important is: what is it that you are identifying the 'you' as? If you are being taught that yes, you are an object, but actually even as an object you are a powerless object, then please understand that it is not the truth. Same thing the sage said thousands of years ago: 'The yogis who preach either effort or non-effort are still attached to the body. I neither disassociate nor associate with any of that and I am happy.'

Now some might say to me, and some have actually said like this, that 'Father, between the two, if I had to pick the concept that I am the doer versus the concept that I am the non-doer, isn't it better that I pick the concept of the non-doer?' And I say, if you've been in satsang with me for some time, then no, I will not let you rest in this limited idea about yourselves. How can I, when I have discovered that you are I Am and you are this consciousness, this unlimited being? And ultimately, I Am and you are because we are one. In fact, which is aware even of this. How can I let you rest if you pick up the concept like, 'I'm the phone. Actually, I'm the phone that believed I was doing something. I was dialing the numbers. I was a phone that believed that I was dialing the numbers myself and having these conversations with people on the phone. Then I realized, no, no, it is a greater power that was dialing the numbers. I was not doing anything.' Can I leave you believing that you are a phone?

And then you say, 'Can I at least stay with this concept that I am not the doer?' If you are new, if you are just starting out in satsang, then I know the relief that can come by believing this. The guilt that can be washed away, the pride that can really ride off in recognizing that no individual entity, I who still believed myself to be an individual entity, ever did anything. Some space, some relief can come from that. But if you still consider yourself to be the individual form, then you will always question God and say, 'God, why are you doing this? How come he always gets this engaged?' Okay, I'm stretching the metaphor too far. You might always, you might still say, 'But why are you giving me these bad experiences? I'm not even the doer and I recognize this, so why are you still bringing misery into my life? Isn't surrender supposed to bring for me all these beautiful things? Where is the love? Where is the peace? Where is the joy?'

So this same concern about what is happening to this limited appearance on the body-mind, this concern is desire. What I want should happen in my life. Now I'm not the doer, therefore I cannot do it. God might be kind enough to give it to me. And so desire can there, we can also play as if you're the victim. 'I'm just this powerless mobile phone. Why don't you buy a nice cover for me instead of talking all the time?' What is using this example? So it becomes clear. Beyond, you are consciousness itself. Yogis who preach either effort or non-effort are still attached to the body. I neither disassociate nor associate with any of that and I'm happy. I have nothing to gain or lose by standing, walking, or sitting down. So whether I stand, walk, or sit, I am happy. I have nothing to gain or lose by standing, walking, or sitting down. So whether I stand, walk, or sit, it obviously means that irrespective of the position of the body, whatever might be the activity that I am performing.

And so simply the sage is pointing us to show us that which is this, who is it? Maybe Katy or somebody, he said, but all that you are doing is either you're standing or you're sitting or you're lying down. Anything else is just an idea. I do not lose by sleeping nor attain by effort. Not thinking in terms of loss or gain. This is breaking all those conceptual paradigms that I must do something to become, to find my freedom. If I just sleep, then I lost something. Whether sleep or awake, whether dream or real, you are that. As it said earlier, whatever might come and go, I am neither enhanced nor diminished. You are not changing your level. Another popular fallacy: 'I'm changing, I'm going to the next level.' The Self has no levels. You don't have to become the next level Self.

It's funny, and I should not make a joke, it's coming to me, can't help. One who came to satsang, she said the first time she went to Tiruvannamalai, she went to do an 'Advanced No Ego' program. Anyone else find it as funny as an 'Advanced No Ego' program? Not just a 'No Ego' program, but an advanced one. So who's advancing? The Self-pleasuring thing. But pleasure and pain are inconsistent without the bad and it happily she went. Pleasure and pain, and good and bad, whatever we label is good, bad, all of this is same as the coming and going in the play of appearances. None of this shakes the reality of what I am.

He said the first time she went to Tiruvannamalai, she went to do an advanced 'no ego' program. I find it as funny as it was. No ego program—not just a no ego program, but an advanced one. So who's advancing? The self-pleasuring theme. But the weights are inconsistent without the bad, and happily she went, pleasure came, and good and bad—whatever we label as good or bad—all of this is the same as the coming and going in the tree of appearances. None of this shakes the reality of what I am. And in the saying of this, unattached to any outcome and unattached to any appearance, there is a simple substratum of happiness. Simple, simple trick, isn't it? As Papa says in Salem, you don't need anything to be happy, but you do need something to be unhappy. That something is an attachment, or desire, duality, doership. Can you truly be unhappy without a belief, without an identity?

Yes, I have a question. Now I find that talking with others, it's not that covering 'I am' or being aware of this awareness is unknown, but the fear of being this vastness somehow—as if it's outside the body, which it is. But here it's not fearful. This non-localization somehow is playing as form, name, or name is untouched but not separate. But any clues for that? This shying away from the vastness the mind conjures up of non-localization, of no center, instead of just here now where presence and all that is?

Mostly what happens is that the first time that we're getting in an aeroplane, we start to leave the ground, going above the clouds. Some fear—the fear of heights, a fear of falling. As you get used to it, you can see that so many of us now, we want flights. We are just like we are at home. We don't even bother to look outside the window and see that we are flying above the clouds. Something starts to recognize the naturalness of this. And non-localization seems like a scary, alien concept. So yes, as we are coming to this naturalness, the mind will use this appearance: 'I cannot find myself anywhere in this universe, not this body, not this city.' You use it very dutifully. Non-localization. More are to do... sorry, okay.

Sometimes I see it is here, that is within me. I am not here; I am beyond here and there. But this 'here' is just another aspect of myself. So this vastness of yourself, this non-local, non-phenomenal vastness that you're discovering about yourself—as it falls, the mind will use every opportunity to conjure up some scary visuals, some scary feelings of what is going to happen. But as it becomes more and more natural, you will find that to consider yourself to be local will seem more of a pain. If you have to identify forcefully with a constricted, limited idea of yourself, it will start to feel like trying to fit into the shoes you were wearing when you were five years old. You know how all of this is? This is good. This should be. The fear is natural. Quality fear of dissolution, fear of not finding yourselves as a localized entity. Fear of death, to put it in another way. All of this just a little bit of wobbly knees. But as you get used to the taste of this more and more, as you start to enjoy not finding yourselves in this phenomenal world—there is no being here to find—as this becomes more and more clear, as it is in your case, then you might even come to this place where even if the place of fear is coming, it's fine. In fact, can we go as far as to see even that is enjoyable to some extent?

Not just that it is outside the body; it is outside your true body, which is this manifest universe itself. The manifest universe is the body of this aspect of yourself, or consciousness. Why do you think I keep saying I will not let you settle? Not you in such a limited idea about yourself. And as you are coming to the naturalness of this, I'm already seeing how many beings are coming in contact with you and finding the light of their own presence. You know, simplicity, naturalness, no specialness. Always surrender it to the feet of the Master. Welcome to this clarity, or at least coming to the openness of all that could be in reality. Because as they're starting to meet you, they are meeting something which is not considering itself to be just contained within the physical body. You might not say these words, but your presence and ease... all power to you, my children. My Master's light shine to each and every one of you. Okay, you want to hear today's... we'll have a question you can answer.

It seems like when I'm involved in the world, about that comment, it seems like on my part there's always a responsibility, always be vigilant, like a watchful eye will see whether I'm taking anything personally or not. That this itself is making me restless.

Some very good question. And often I say that if you don't want to become like... doesn't look very free, is it? Constantly... you might coming... it's the mic. It didn't look like a free sage at all. Looks like somebody was scared out of his wits. So the sage is not like... has been taken too far. Let me put it another way. So your children's, as I would say, is this simple non-denial. Because what is happening is if you're watching satsang for some time, then when you pick up an idea about yourself, it is bound to... some suffering is bound to show very quickly, actually. And that happens not to just being some sort of Advaita in 'I am.' See what we are to do. See what is it that I am truly believing about myself. So you pull that into enquiry till that concept becomes empty of belief, empty of any light. Vigilance is enough. So just feel free, relax. But if something starts to smell, you don't say, 'Oh, I am the Self.' Even something like that. This is coming to my heart as a response to that.

Using this to the unusually time, try to see the inquiry for moments when I'm not trying to get rid of it. Yes, this is something that I... about myself seems like body. Is it true that in quiet moments of real interest, it's a truth that inquiry must be reserved for those moments when you have keen interest?

It's good, it's good, but I won't reserve it for that. It's mostly like that, it's fine. But sometimes just simple questions have to be inquiry. No, it could just be something starts poking. This is that much if you're doing. I really like the sadhana, I would say this. We read in my heart for it, be devoted to it, in that is beautiful. But your inquiring will become very much a part of your existence. It doesn't even have to be 'Who am I?' What is it really? What is the question 'Who am I' provoking? It is provoking this inner looking. Oh, what is here? Let in anything can happen, whatever the trigger might be. So if I say something you don't like, for example, this thing could drop off you. Suppose you're being a... you haven't understood anything. I read something. It doesn't have to be accompanied by that. Sorry, inquiry becomes just like that. You say that it becomes instantly. It can be, and yet if you are using it...

I see the tongue is back. Hello. Oops, just pull out the speaker from... Greece. You go home on Friday? Yes. So Friday you will be able to join satsang. I got this message from Diana. Diana also told me about you. I said you... so if English is the problem, she can write to me and tell me when you will be in satsang. Okay, tomorrow night, a request. What was the request? Evening... so tomorrow will be at the same time, tomorrow 4:30. Thank you all so much for being in satsang today. Satguru Sri Moojiji ki Jai! I get reminded of one and many times what happened. We should say this in the broadcast. But what happened was that I closed satsang like this, and 'Satguru Sri Moojiji ki Jai,' and then Alan di was only one here. That is few years ago. You were there? This is Russia. Started working in... she was struggling. Thank you so much. Thank you. So happy. I see Maria is back. Maria, good to see you. You look nice. You change your hair once you go from Bangalore, you change.

Oh Father, can I just say something? It seems yes, to feel awareness when I'm not near you physically. For the first time I'm relaxing. Good sign. Second from me here, we don't get struggling and I stay. And I felt yesterday how much I like you, Father, because I came so... said we don't get to death mind having felt just... sorry, don't... what? It's time to finish satsang. You find the tool for me to go to see my... it can get to sink us together now in this moment too. It is very difficult, but it kindest thing about yes, also in economical. But it kindest thing about see my... what you feel always good vision. See my eyes, of course. Okay, because with my kind of sensibility, there are some fear about to be no better. This just goes as a small teeny... yes, as a small media to be taking care of project. I thank you so much. Thank you. Pretty good to be happy too.