Clues About Relationships - 30th August 2017

It brings me to a slight digression which I feel also is a little bit important here since this rumor about relationships. One simple thing to see is that even the sense that 'I want freedom,' then are we able to also give that freedom? Many times, many beings have come to the idea that they have found their freedom, and yet when you see their expression—how they expression life—it can seem like, okay, not giving the freedom to any year, anything in the world. 'Somehow it should be like this only.' Whose idea was it going to be at this? You can only do that. So this sense of control, it's a subtle point. You want freedom and we say, 'Please, the world, including my partner, should let me be exactly as I am.' But in that, we're letting our partner be exactly how he or she is? Are we giving the freedom to the ones around us to be deluded for as long as they like? Sometimes we're forcing our idea of freedom. That's a very subtle topic.

So when somebody comes to me for advice and says, 'Father, this one, my family, my brother has been suffering so much, can I speak to them about this? Can I share something here?' My advice usually is that if there is a Virginia, or if it's coming from the true place and not coming from any sort of specialness, then not gently, gently, if the door opens and there is an invitation for you, then make this pristine sharing available to them. There was a point here before I met Guruji, there was a time here—and before long about this way, many new ones are there in such timetable, so I want to share this—there's a time where I was the worst representation of the Advaita spiritual ego. Yeah.

So then what would happen is that I would be at work, very much paperwork. She would come back, she would come back home, and then she would say, 'You know, I had such a terrible day, this happened, this one's like this,' and I would say, 'But who are you?' And, 'What? I am just sharing my day with you. What I'm trying to relate and have this conversation, and this is what relationships do, isn't it? Share their ups and downs of life.' And every time I talk to you, you say, 'Who are you?' Or even better, 'How do you know this is not a dream?' This has happened very naturally to the conversations; they had been taken by the spiritual ego and then represented in that way.

So then I learned. Then actually, and is actually a... then met Ramesh one day, the next time I went to Mumbai. So I said, 'I stand and resonate so much with this non-dual thing that you talk about, about how there is no individual doer, but how do I explain all this to my wife?' So he said to me, 'Let her come to you.' And those words stuck. Somehow those words stuck. Then I realized what was happening here was trying to convey at a different level. Now, maybe some good intention also was there, I won't say it was bad then, but a lot of it was about this specialness: 'She have discovered the truth like this, come on, I need you to see, what is this worldly stuff?'

Both these, when someone asks all in Advaita system, even then we gently try to meet them where they are. Don't try to push our perspective because remember that all that we shared here also is just pointers. Okay? This point this. And the same set of pointers does not apply to everyone. If it would apply to everyone, then you would have tens of thousands of people. It is for those who have a specific set of conditioning, or certain set of pointers applied. Another with another set of conditioning, a different set of pointers will apply. So there is no need to pick up any arrogance about this being the best path, the only truth, or something like that. Especially with our relationships, we don't need to thrust this on anyone. You allow them to continue, and if you truly feel there is intent in your heart to share this, focus the right way. Right way is to knock gently and wait for the door to open. Don't try to break the door down and give it to them straight and explain to them. Don't be too quick to... don't jump into becoming the next Maharaja, Papaji, or something like that.