Bondage is Never Real, But Pretense Is a Play - 9th January 2018

What I'm actually saying to all of you is that whether you are here in Satsang through your outside system, you are always free. Bondage is never here, but it is a pretense. You know this pretense? It is something... so if I am play-acting, then that is pretense. I am pretending to be something I'm not. So Consciousness has been playing this pretense, but it is playing the pretense because it is free to play the pretense. Even in the way of the pretense, the freedom is there. It is not trapped in the pretense. Even the playing trapped, it is playing. I want to tell you that because it makes the problem, the seeming problem, less serious. Otherwise, it can seem like... there's a term for cancer, we call it the 'Emperor of Maladies.' Yes, this 'I' is very serious, yes, very serious. So this one, especially for the spiritual seeker, seems like the Emperor of Maladies: 'I have the most serious affliction.' So when I tell you that it is just a pretense and your freedom actually is unaffected by it, then... because if I catch you in the middle of the road, you could be arguing with the auto-rickshaw driver, and in that moment, I catch you and say, 'Show me that which is bound right now.' In that moment, you will not find that one.

So the truth is always present, but the pretense is picked up. And we pick up a notion about ourselves, an idea about ourselves. And also, the second part of the seeming problem is also not as serious as you make it seem, like 'I have to speak through this I.' Actually, you do not. Did you think about every single word that you were going to say just before the words came and became exactly like that? No, there was no time for that. You just spontaneously... these words came. So even that is part of the pretense. You are not speaking through the 'I'. The 'I', this mind, is just a bundle of thoughts. The 'I' is just make-believe, so you cannot actually achieve any action through it. It is not a physical entity, is it? The mask is not even a physical, tangible mask. It is just a freedom. So you're not speaking through the 'I'. Consciousness is speaking. The 'I' is not here. This small 'I' is not here. It is this big 'I' which itself is the source of all action. These words are coming out, you see? Even if the words are saying 'I am speaking through the small I,' it is not true. They are just appearing in the light of your Being. And you start to see more and more just how these words are appearing, those words are appearing.

I know, because here also there was an idea at one time, before I met Guruji, that there is somebody here individually speaking these words. I know that it's not true, but experientially, most of the time—not all the time, of course—but it feels like this. And until it feels like this, I have to admit that it is like this. I can't just say, 'Okay, I'm free now.' The best laboratory for this is right now.

Yes, that's why I am showing up. So these words are coming. Who is speaking them?

Nobody's speaking, and still I hear everything. After the 'but,' you had to go there, and I see that you go to this one... that register, that appended notion. You already said nobody's speaking there, but for the 'but,' you have to refer to some idea about yourself. Let's try again now. As you're speaking these words, notice where they're coming from now. Actually, not from the head. I can say 'but' without consciousness... I'm not saying all 'but' has to come from the head, yeah. Experientially, what does that mean? It means that I myself... I can't show you the feeling, but you can feel my immersion now. I'm sure I know you, I'm sure you feel the contraction. Is the contraction okay?