Before the Notion 'I Am Something' You Just Are - 23th October 2017

And a big part of this fallacy is an inquiry to see. Most of us go around life thinking that 'I must be an object sitting in my head, right behind my eyes.' So visual perspective is like that. There is nobody here in this... nobody is there. There is nobody. Basically, I know it sounds... it's really good, but this is so pervasive, so popular a notion. That's why I asked you: one of the conditions for coming to direct satsang is whether you come to the idea that you are not an object of this world, but the world might be an object in you. You just are. Are you open to this idea? I'm not saying that you must have the insight of this yet. If this possibility is true, if this possibility is true, then our conversation is very simple and easy. Otherwise, what will happen is I am speaking to you as if the universe takes birth within you, but you are still referring all of that back to somebody that is sitting inside your head of this body. And that is not so.

Know that most of satsang is this consciousness, which is beyond time and space, having a monologue with itself. It is not meant for you to study it. Company of the truth is the key meaning of satsang. I cannot constantly refer to you as the false one. Where are you right now? How many of you are new to satsang? You might say, 'I'm here.' But this 'here,' this is just a set of sensations within you. Just check for one moment. You will see this. This body is nothing but a set of visual perceptions and a set of tactile perceptions, those sensations. Although what we are saying is very straightforward and simple, from the mind's perspective, it is completely radical. That is where it is different from each of the popular self-help types. The purpose of that is to make you feel better. This type of satsang is not to make you feel better. We're not idolizing our feelings at all. And I know that sometimes that is irritating because we don't idolize.

We're not giving ideals to that which is coming and going. There are enough temples in the world. There are enough temples of the world for emotions. You know what I mean by temples? More than enough people all over the world which are working. Can there be some space in this world for that which is beyond order, for those who are very attached to idolizing emotions, then those feelings? Then we can use this very popular term now called, 'Oh, but this is spiritual bypassing.' This is like... bypassing is just... you're using spirituality to bypass authentic feelings. We are not doing that. All I am asking is: Is there something which is greater than this? Something which is beyond this? Is there really the spirit? Is there really the soul? That is what it is, spirituality. Otherwise, we would call it 'emotionality' or something like that. I call it spirituality.

That is why all the sages have said that if you attach to that which is coming and going, you miss the reality of that which is unchanging. Big difference between bypassing and transcending. This must be understood by all of us. What is the difference? Bypassing basically means that you are using a concept. Inside you're feeling terrible, terrible. You use the concept, 'Oh, I am not feeling terrible. I'm awareness. I'm God.' But nothing happens. A thought enters that you were born. 'How can it happen to me?' Now, that would be bypassing. This is trying to use spiritual concepts to come into denial of your being. No, not denial of an emotion, but you are coming to the true insight about what you are, which is greater than everything which is coming and going. You're not being ostriches. The tigers are attacking, and an ostrich puts its head in the sand and pretends like there is nobody attacking.

What we're doing is we are checking if there is an experiencer of the fusion with an individual limited entity. Instead of 'here am I, an object,' in the discovery that you are making, you will realize that such a beautiful museum of everything that appears and disappears is there. Such a beautiful acceptance and openness is there. The present moment is everything that comes. Discovering that unlimited space of your existence in which all is allowed, but you will not believe the false idea that something is greater than you. Everything can become you, but the thought 'you' was never there. That 'you' is always uninvestigated, just a presumption. The bypass is to resist. It is the way it is used this time. Acceptance, allowing, not resisting.

Is there any... the simplest one first. And alignment even comes. Simplest one is, Father, if one feels that this tornado is happening to me, then what to do? See that this tornado is happening to me, then what to do? Either if you're devotional in terms of mind, know that the tornado is your Master, is Ram Ji. Or you investigate within. There is the question is always this one: 'Actually, this thing is happening to me.' So whatever we might feel is happening to me, hand it over to the Satguru. It's a big bridge's problem. Or we investigate as to who is this 'me'?

See, surrender cannot be hostile. This is... you surrender it, but I'm just keeping one eye on it saying, 'Does it...?' And you check ten seconds later, 'It is not feeling better. Why is it not going away?' Then what did we surrender, actually? Surrender means: Do with me what you want. Whatever you have is fine with you. I'm just a speck of dust on your feet. Walk where you might. The softest grass or the hardest rocks, it's for you to do. This beautiful surrender. Then you will see that there is no difference between what remains of this body and the Satguru's heart. What is the root of all times? I am just saying that the idea 'I am something' is a fallacy. 'I am' is here effortlessly. You are. You exist. Consciousness put 'something' there, any series of them. Now, the reason for that could be multiple. 'I am something which is in terrible pain. I am something which has nasty thoughts. I am something which has terrible relationships. I am something that has no money.' Now, without the 'something' to land on, all these problems have nowhere to go. So in that... that's what I was saying, that in your investigation, if you find that there is no such 'something,' then how is it that I bypass all that? About spiritual bypassing, you are actually finding it. Walking in anybody's world forward, you're actually finding that there is no 'something' here which is limited by any experience.

There's another way which it could be reaching. Bypassing saying that when anger is appearing, they don't see that. I see like you saying that we accept there is somewhat in a spiritual nature. So this is embrace, like going to dive in. What they basically say is to accept in a delusional... just accept or not make a thing. It's my feeling is that they say that you accept anger, treat it like a child, express it, let it do what it wants to do, everything. And that is where the identity gets formed. And then it's sure that that's how they are not spiritually... I'm just saying it is to take a position either way. 'I must become close to emotionalizing' or 'I must... you know, I must just like... I must be like this in a certain way.' To every emotion that comes, see this waiting for anger to come so I can hug it next. There is a lot of identity, the identity of the spiritual person. So much living in doubt, it's living in believing that the... consciousness is producing some anger consistently. Those who we determine so naturally when we take a look. But if she said if you make a thing out of it, 'I'm going to take a position with respect to emotion,' either a resistant position or an overtly lovey-dovey position, go super super... that is what are we referring to ourselves as in that? So not to be in denial of it and not to be idolizing it. That's what I mean by idolizing. Because if you make idols to that which is coming and going, then that becomes another part of our identity. One time in the satsang, somebody got really upset with me because... you know, funny mood actually, I didn't say so, I just...

Making a thing out of it, I'm going to take a position with respect to emotion. I did resist a position, or an overtly lovey-dovey position. Go super, super. That is: what are we referring to ourselves as in that? So, not to be in denial of it and not to be idolizing it. That's what I mean by idolizing. Because if you make idols to that which is coming and going, then that becomes another part of your identity. One time in the satsang, somebody was really upset with me because, you know, in a funny mood actually, I didn't say so, I just said, "It's just a feeling. Play with it, dance with it, or maybe throw it around like a football." Just a feeling. Because they were like validating them in some way, you see? In relation to God, reality, but there might be appearing space, you know? I know it can be a bit sticky, this topic of feelings, because once we go beyond heart, then you can see like, "Oh, but these are my feelings. I'm entitled to them. I have an ownership about them." But more that all feelings are always with a 'me'. In reality, it is not coming to me this amount like this. "I am feeling like this, so then I must be entitled to behave this way." Again, the 'I' is uninvestigated.

No matter what you consider as the spots on the blue cat, the reality is that blue cat does not exist. Then this could be completely clear about what I'm saying. No more to fight anything, and not to say that this feeling is right or wrong. Do not go make any judgment about the feeling. Everything that is arising is allowed to come and go, but we are not inventing a 'me' because of it. That is a position, this way or that way, because something is arising. An example: suppose this board is a feeling, a rising appearance. It will not be here forever. So, this is arising in your perception right now. It is not as intimate as a feeling, I know, the sensation, but it's a metaphor for afterwards. So, this one, so to bypass it, we say that there is no... this is not Buddha, just the awareness. I am just seeing it is there. What is my position with this? Whether it was green or blue or black or yellow, what happens to that which is aware of it remains untouched. This 'me' comes roaring back, whatever the flavor of this feeling, right? And that is how there's nothing to defend, identify, and no attachment to even fixing something which is not making a thing out of it. "Oh, this means that this is anger and I have to deal with this now." The path starts now to deal with it. "Today I must love it to death so much." That is not the kind of spirituality.

What are you being is the mask that you're picking up in the play of this world, you see? Yeah, of this world is that there's an endless number of experiences which can come to you. If you feel like you're having a particular strategy for it, you're going to change how the appearance of the world is. No. Appearance of thoughts is, the occurrence of feelings are, doesn't move. Consciousness continues to play in an unlimited... anything can always arise. That's why it is suggested to transcend it. It is the best way. If you fix it as if you are an object in the world, you will perpetuate the wrong belief about yourself and lead to more equalization of this false 'me'. If you transcend it and see, "I am that consciousness in which all of this is arising and disappearing," but I remain untouched, and that it witnesses even consciousness. So, which object can in consciousness time hurt?

Then everything becomes a joy. Clearly, this becomes happen. The nights might be scary or funny, but you know that you cannot be hurt. Now, I'm saying that this is only part, saying that the direct... like this is the only way it is. If there is something like a... we have you saying that what speaks, what is working here, is about this direct experience. What I've experienced is that I've put on the mask of an individual entity there to fix things or change the students in some way. It's just so clear that cannot be changed in that way, which is how it is clear here when I saw what I really was. Very clear here, and I saw that really that never had a 'me' in it to fix. That's why we call it a Leela.

Follow we can tell me other than Babaji. Okay, I'm saying this is very beautiful what you're saying, that in the looking and in the seeing that I'm not an object, he said, and we will investigate this. I became that. If you mean 'I became that' to mean that I saw that I was always that, yeah. That's because this 'became' can be an idea of not becoming them. Just using it recently is fine, but just to be careful with everyone we have to say it. It is not that you become that, actually. It is not even that we transcend the followers, although we can use that terminology. We just see what the true position always has been. The misunderstanding is dropped. The limited notion is dropped. We see, see the idea that 'I am the cat' is wrong because the cat has a lot of problems. You were saying that even in the satsang, there can be things like, 'Oh, this one is closer to Father' or not that rules. You know, jealousy can come and hatred can come, all this kind of sticky things. But all of these are dependent on 'me'. Okay, so let's see what all is dependent upon. If there was no 'me', can you have a grievance? Can you have pride by retargeting specimens? Can you have guilt? Can you have given to Jerry Mars? If there was no such thing as a 'me' as an individual entity, then all this that constitutes suffering is nothing. There is no 'me'. If there's some way you have to get to something, you have to do something, you have to have all of these strategies, vanity, all of these are strategies for the 'me' to discover its true nature. Once you see that you are not an object, you are not a thing, what would that be, 'me'? It's just that the notion that 'I am the character' is super. We see that if I don't pose as if I'm giving you a bowl of money, you don't even rid yourself of the 'me-ness' unless it comes in the shape of a bowl of do the inquiry, the surrender, the thanks. What we got is there literally is nothing to see, no longer buying into the new signature separation.

Yes. How can it be that this Satguru has a want and surrender from you? There is desire and separation. If the Guru wanted surrender from you, then he is both desirous and came that he separated. These are just terms that we use so that you can step back, which is false, discover your desirelessness. But because we got through or to our limited notion about her son, to the idea that 'I must accept, I must get something,' then God's own alarm clock itself sounds like it's giving you a second clue to quietly that something which one is dying here that you asking to this spiritual mission. The notion which is shaped like the question 'Who am I?' is that something which will burn every idea that you have about yourself in something. The notion that 'everything is my Father's problem,' the notion that 'I am at my Master's feet' is also that. Take away something that you consider yourself to be, which I was telling unduly, undo that. But if you had a button or if you are an 'I'm still continuing to add to do something,' you are nothing. Hope you do them all, some things and nothing. That nothing you, and in this divine play, all is play as if all this forgotten God is amazing.

Okay, actually Father, you said already everything. I just thought to come up because it's always I just need to speak these stuff out. I cannot keep it with me, you know? It's just this, this is how surrender is going. Yeah, and actually how you started the whole topic, it's totally my... was my weekend. Yeah, what I found out is actually everything, everything is coming up now, you know, one thing after the other. Everything is coming up at the moment. And uh-huh, and what you said about bypassing and transcending it is what I found out here. The only thing what is working here when these intense feelings are coming up is really to ask, 'Who's the experiencer?' It's really the only thing that is working. Not 'Who am I?' is not working when it is so intense, some intense stuff is going on, but 'Who is the experiencer?' is just such a great question, you know? It's just wow, I love it. I truly love it. And but I just what happened here was it is... or what happened to what happens when I ask this question, it's just um, it's just cries unspeakable actually. It is, it is um, you know, you also mentioned the topic of allowing. And this is not this, it is not about allowing, you know? Allowing is there's something of my... I feel, you know, the mind takes it to allow something. But actually in the question 'Who's the experiencer?' and what happens, it's just you, everything. It is you're just you're just able to see and experience who you are again. And in this recognition of what you truly are, allowing and all the stuff doesn't matter because it is automatically, if you want to use these with happening by itself. And you don't have to, you cannot do allowing or so. It is just in the recognition of who you are, just everything is happening by itself and everything it's just dropping by itself. And then the meaning of the content of the stuff what is going on, you cannot hold on to it anymore. It's just only experiencing is left without any content.

And I would not say that and so, you know, I mean I don't anymore who wants this. I mean, I mean it versus what it can feel like some sort of a strategy 'I am doing the allowing.' And she is absolutely right that you cannot do that. That is another written. So let's take this example again. Suppose the prior conditioning was that every time this green ball comes, suppose this is a bad feeling, this is guilt, this is anger, this is lust, whatever it is. So this is coming and the condition was that this is a terrible thing, it should not happen to you, it should not come for you, I should not feel must exam. So if this motion is there, then when it comes and starts to take a position about it which says, 'No, no, go away again,' so it is not allowed anymore. What happens is like the tears are resting is that if you inquire 'Who is the experiencer?' and you feel like this tillu, this whatever is arising doesn't have the same reason when you have to see me to land on anymore. Therefore the ability to cause guilt about it, also cause design window arrogance about it, it's not that. Just much more spacious now. There comes a time where you've looked at it often now that anger is coming, you will do inquiries mati will be don't have to ask every time when it is coming so 'Who is the experiencer?' It is just an object passing through schools, you know? Nothing to even not even to take a position of the inquirer. So that is what I mean. It's like an object interacting with space. Space needs no position with regardless. There is no reference it is making about itself.

The first appearances, it is not that it is about this, but this question 'Who's my experience?' I, you know, it's just like you always said. I mean, like you always said, this question takes care of itself. It's just... but it is just I don't even know, you know, I cannot even do this inquiry. It is just, it is how to make.

What about next queries? Like one hand wringing taken to pin and you throw it and then you get out of the way. We're not doing the explosion. The question is powerful enough to explode on its own. In fact, it is an intervention that 'Am I doing it right?' Answer the question, finding is the right answer. We all of that is what takes away from being. When this question emerges as just a question 'Who am I?' nothing is real and about takes care of itself. I'm going to say it that it is quite subtle than I remember and she came with me there, so I better not say that night completely obvious earlier. Vidiq, I said no object consciousness, no objections, nothing object login via log of day to don't be a log of Deadpool Rudy Rudy don't be anything in the world. I'm going to be in Chennai for 10 days. It came to me privately. Don't know how to contact you or the satsang, and so I hope to come. You can write to me in Facebook or I can have someone send you my email ID and you can.

It is quite subtle than I remember, and she came with me there, so I better not say that. It was completely obvious earlier. I said no object consciousness, no objects, nothing. Don't be a log of wood. Don't be anything in the world. I'm going to be in Chennai for ten days. It came to me privately; I don't know how to contact you or the Sangha, and so I hope to come. You can write to me on Facebook, or I can have someone send you my email ID and you can write here.

Sometimes when I can't bear the beating of the surrender... I can't bear the beating of the surrender.

But it's not for you to bear if you surrender. If you still hold on to the 'me', then it's not... then that 'me' is going to be more badly eaten up, or it feels like it gets more badly beaten than anything else because that surrender is just lip service so far. If you keep the 'me' in surrender, you see, then you're just surrendering all those things that you don't want. 'Okay, Father, please take care of the stuff I don't really want to deal with, but I'm holding on to the "me" which is so precious, and this "me" should not get beaten up.' So if you have that kind of rejection of this type of expectation, then that is not true surrender.

And sometimes, more often than not, consciousness works in this way: even if you make the gesture of surrender, then some power comes in back and this 'me' gets squeezed out, you see? You see, the true surrender follows the seeming surrender that you think. And then you say, 'Father, this pain body... see this pain body.' Who is that? You know, it is like very badly beaten. That kind of feeling comes.

So if you're speaking this from experience, can you tell me the signs of this pain body in relation to vasanas? It is just so... it is a sin, like a seemingly air of nothingness in the infinite space that you are. Then is it truly that it tends for your reality, Father? With your finger actually, oh, I feel so much pressure in the pot because I know the pressure is only mine. Or my tendency is to shout, you know, react badly, or maybe no health and form a criminal... I do it. So I'm afraid of my tendency, like stinging. So what should you actually surrender? Make a list of three tendencies that are not yet my Father's problem. The fear of the tendencies that are not yet my Father's shouting... this is not yet. So what is actually which is saying there? Father, every day you will get a hundred calls per night for music they work. Every day you will get a hundred calls. I will say it is Father. So much surrender doesn't need a... you know, to surrender the phone calls. If I can, I can affirm our parenting for my old age. No, I cannot do that. I am saying I cannot reach my marker. You tremble for my one lily. This play is not in my hands. Then I don't have the right. I have to wash my feet; God may get dirty.

I tell you a nice story with my mother. My mother goes to a spiritual path, you see, which is very beautiful. So there, the Master was in his house, and one Sangha boy wanted to put up a painting or something on this wall. So the Master said, 'The bed is there, stand on the bed and put the painting up.' So this one, just for one reason, he said, 'No, no, my feet are dirty, how can I stand on your bed?' So then he ran around here, ran around there, bought something... another two hours to put that painting up. 'Oh, Master, I did it, I just... I'm embarrassed.' So then the Master said, 'So why don't you listen to your own? I said to stand on my bed and put the painting up.' So he said, 'No, no, Master, it is your bed, how can I stand on it?' The Master said, 'Oh, you are willing to stand on my tongue? You are willing to not follow what I am saying, so you are willing to stand on my tongue, but you are unwilling to stand on my bed?'

So much reverence is there to take care of the Master. Is the Master no more to you? The Master is saying that my job is to be the garbage collector of all that is that you can give. So then don't take it back and keep them. Hand everything over this very instant. And whatever new garbage you might collect every day, don't keep taking it back or not even give it and then say, 'Why is it not working for me?' I can't really do this. I want to say something to you which you could not do. This will be handed over. Mommy takes full responsibility. We are just stuck in the middle, you see, because that middle which is implied... some envy at these open conversations because then the chocolate on comes out, you see, like this.

So now I know the resistance, why it's not completely handed over. Because how can I give it to you, Mooji? Because it's my garbage, I have to deal with it. This Master says, 'I want everything.' Shall I close one room? Okay, okay. My mother is also performing in the world. Okay, it is true that my Master, out of the compassion, you know, is asking me to hand over all my problems to you. And obviously, as the unlimited being, you are asking me to hand over my problem to you. But then there is a thorn actually here. The thorn is: it is true that my Master is unlimited, but he has got a limited presence also. So how can my own unlimited problems be handed over to the Master? Because he too has got limited, you know, resources. Like if you are not feeling well, you will not have a satsang, you know. So these kind of thoughts, they come. These kinds of research-kind of thoughts, they come because then the clear Self himself is bounded by the script to be behaving as a limited one in the body.

So the limited is not a bounding for him. It is the unlimited 'me' saying, 'Give me, give me.' Now initially, there can be some confusion about the passenger in the car and the car itself. So the Master's body is like the car. Master's presence, where is it? Until you don't recognize it as your own presence, which feels like it has to come to you in this car. So this car, like any other car, will have its breakdowns, will need servicing, will need its maintenance, will have its flat tire once in a while. But this car is only a transport device needed as long as you feel like there is some distance between you and the Master. You see that the Master is your own holy presence, then there can be love and reverence for the car, for the instrument, like my Master's instrument, Mooji, as we see him.

No, Master, I'm not taking... I never see you as a body. I don't see any form. I am not attached to Ananta. Right? Like when I'm in your presence, I feel the perfect peace. Believe what the thorn is just working next year. I have a Master inside who is formless. So I have to surrender something negative in the nature which my Master can absolve. Why not surrender it internally because this is formless? Why give it to a Master in the form, all my negativity?

Now the Master's form is appearing. Well, it's not inside you, this appearance right now? Which I say is inside me, all this is happening. Okay, then where can you surrender it? Outside or inside? Wherever you surrender it, it can never be outside. There is no outside. Whatever you choose to surrender to, even if you choose to surrender to a tree, surrender it somewhere. Everything is only inside. Okay, Father. No matter whichever you feel like you were throwing the ashes in, it is all going to end up in the ocean.

It is time, Father. I was elected to surrender. I was keeping surrendering selective things, not everything. So now I will not contribute.

Yes, but make one big basket and throw the whole basket at once more.

Okay, I think you're surrendering everyone, barrister. I think you do the best way to surrender everything that is phenomenal is my Master's stuff. Thank you, Father. Thank you so much for being in satsang.