Awareness Cannot Go Anywhere - 21 Jan. 2015

Yes, there is this whole external world and I'm aware of this this very moment. It seems to be here, this appearance is here.

And you as awareness, can you be touched by this external world in any way?

No. No.

Okay, then let's go inside. Inside there can be some emotion, there can be some thoughts, there can be some sense of nothingness. There can even be a sense of nothing. So is this aware of you, or you are aware of it?

I am aware of it.

Can this appearance also touch this awareness in any way? Just like this computer cannot really come inside and touch you, can this some feeling or some emotion or some thought also touch the awareness?

It still seems a little bit like that. It seems a feeling, you see.

So 'seems' also, 'it feels like that,' but feeling is also appearance. Feeling is also appearance. So we have to just check: how is it possible? How can this feeling really touch me? So it cannot even touch me, forget about blowing me away, you know. So the mind is saying, 'Oh, this feels like it'll blow awareness also away,' but who will report? Who will report it if there's no awareness of it being blown away? Then you would not ever be able to say that it can happen. All can happen; all appearances are dancing only for awareness. Without awareness, no appearance. Where could awareness go? Where could it go? It does not even go in sleep state. Everything else goes—thoughts, feeling, emotion, world, people, relationships, money, body—everything goes in sleep state, but awareness still remains. And awareness is there that I'm sleeping, and awareness is there that there is waking state. So who decides that this is sleep state or waking state? Who is aware of this? It is awareness itself. So the presence or absence of Consciousness is also awareness is aware. So the birth of God and the dissolution of God is also... there is awareness even of that. So this awareness in which God gives birth and then with the birth of God all this universes and all appear, this awareness, how can something shake it? How can anything blow it away? Just a concept, just a mind fear, just a fear from the mind. It cannot really happen.

There's still something in it. I cannot... I just... you see, sometimes what happens is we make an image out of awareness. We say this pure emptiness or nothingness is awareness, and this now awareness is going because something is coming into it. You see, this is just visuals. This is just visualization. You are the awareness which is aware of this visualization also. So don't give any credence to this visualization. Don't give any importance to this visualization. You are aware of it.

It's more like... no, no, I can find it a little better. It's more like an... something from the past, what I made up to control situations, to make it to some... to nothing, so that nothing can touch me. And this is somehow has juice because it's pretty convincing in a way, very near to... and I did it my whole life. I looked at things from this eye, this identity. And that's... it's just... I can just see it. This is... yeah, now I can see it. Now I can see it.

So it played like this. In this expression of Consciousness, we can see that something played like this and now it's coming back. But now you can see that it played like this was all just a play of Consciousness itself. But I believe that there was a 'me' here. I believe there was a 'me' here. And now I look for the 'me' and I cannot find it. Yet these tendencies want to keep jumping back and forth. But as long as I don't feed them with this belief and make a 'me' out of it, then they will just dance for a while and will not be so strong because they're not getting my belief now. But if you indulge them, if you indulge them by giving it a 'me,' if you make yourself, if you pretend to be a 'me,' then all these can become... seem to become strong again.

Yes, yes. I leave it here with you. That's the best thing I can do. It just... it's so new to look at it like from here at it. I never saw it before. It was so... thank you, thank you.

Very good. All this is coming up, getting exposed in the light of satsang, so you can be released from it. All this is getting released. And many times it happens in satsang, we say, 'Oh, this one here, I didn't... I never realized it's here.' So it's very auspicious that it comes up, you see, because what comes up and then you can see like this, it's very good because it is getting released. What has been hidden, what has been in denial, that is the one that can cause suffering. Yes, that which we are not open to facing, that causes suffering, that causes guilt. Now you're open for everything. Let it come. And then sometimes chocolate-flavored experiences, sometimes bitter moments, and all this is coming and it's getting released. Thank you. Very good.