Ashtavakra Gita Ch. 20, Vs. 10-14 Commentary and Contemplation - 20th September 2017

So if you don't believe anything about yourself, you don't believe anything about yourself, do you still exist? And then see, it is the ultimate question: where is this existence? Where is this existence? So at some point, like Maharaj, can we be bold enough to say even something like: forget about consciousness. Even that seeming forgetting, of course, is a play within consciousness. But what is your greater reality? That which is before 'I am.' That 'I am' comes and goes. What is it to you? In reality, we've gone too far to say by saying all these states come and go—waking, dream, sleep—all these states are coming and going and you remain the eternal witness of this coming and going. How does this appearance in one of these states make a scratch on you or a taint on you? Can something that happens here touch awareness? It will remain untouched.

Where is the illusion? Where is existence, attachment or non-attachment? Where is the person? Now the funny thing about the person is that at least for phenomenal things you can say, 'Okay, computer, here it is. Body, here it is. Sofa, here it is.' Bodies are there, but person, where is it? Is it even a phenomenal appearance? Not even a phenomenal appearance. You cannot identify the location of this person. Where is this person? Second-level illusion, which means that it's just an imagined sense of separation. What is the ego? Just an imagined concept of separation. There is a 'me' which is apart from everything else. That is the notion. Presently, there is a 'me' which is apart from anything else. Now, unless you think about it, can you believe such a notion? Can you really experience such a notion of person without the thought to believe something? Is it your experience that there is a 'me'?

Sensations can be there. The body sensations can feel very intimate, but can you distinguish between your body sensations and the sensations of this world, and the sensations of the sound from the road, the sensation of the breeze from the fan? Unless you define a boundary for 'me' which is based on thought, all are appearing in the same space of your existence. If you did not exist, would these sensations be experienced? Now many have misunderstood this imperative, that this is something speaking individually, saying that all of this is in the mind of the individual. I'm not saying that. That is what is called solipsism. We're not saying that. I'm saying that the misidentification is about who you are. I am referring to you as consciousness. I am referring to you as beyond even that consciousness. I am not speaking to you as the body. If I was speaking to you as an individual entity and then saying all of this is your play, then that would be a misunderstanding. You are this. Their existence is the light of this consciousness. From this place, can you say that all of this is a coming and going? I am the eternal unchanging one. How can you say, 'I am the one solitary witness of all there is'?

Or you can say, 'Where is God? I am awareness.' Indeed, beyond adoration, all of this comes from that. No person has ever become special. There is no enlightened person. Enlightenment is the discovery that there is no person. The recognition of your existence beyond personality, beyond personhood—that's what we are talking about. Where is the person? Where is God? I am awareness. So now, depending on your definition, of course, some refer to God as this sense 'I am,' which is how I usually refer to consciousness. Others say 'I am' is the ultimate reality. What I am, even this consciousness, is a coming and going. And for those who are new to Satsang, the statement 'I am God' can sound very arrogant or special. But here, what is being said? We are saying even Godhood is a coming and going for me, depending again on your definition, of course. If you say consciousness is God, this presence is God, this existence is God, then you are even beyond that. When we refer to this, the Self, the Absolute itself is Brahman. So don't get confused by definitions. This is what is being spoken about. Where is God? I am awareness.

Where is activity or inactivity? Where is liberation or bondage? I am timeless, indivisible. I am Self alone. So when we say activity or inactivity, it is about doership. What am I to do and what not to do? Where is liberation or bondage? Is awareness ever bound? Can I build a chain strong enough to bind awareness? So the concept of bondage itself does not apply. So what liberation can I give to that which is not bound? You see that liberation is the discovery that there is no such prison that we want liberation from. Now, you mustn't misunderstand even this, because even this—that 'I need no freedom or any more liberation'—can be picked up as a concept. And conceptually, in a basket of concepts, we can still maintain our limited identity and add to that this concept that 'I am God, I don't need freedom.' This conceptually is not enough. It must be a reflection of your true insight about yourself, because all concepts are shaky.

You keep saying 'I am God, I am God.' Many times people have these kind of things where you start saying and assuming that you replace it mentally to be like that, which is the identity trying to hold on to the identity, to hold on to some idea of godliness. And you'll find that that is actually a very shaky ego, because even when life comes in its day-to-day life and something happens—your mom says something to you—in that moment, the whole 'I am God' thing goes in two seconds. You've gone back to being the daughter. It is just conceptual, but not the result of true realization. The concept, all concepts, are changeable, removable, coming and going. We want you to at least agree for yourself: what you are cannot be replaced.

There are principles and scriptures. Where is the disciple or teacher? Where is the reason for life? I am boundless, Absolute. I see that your form—we all know what this is. We've looked at all of these aspects of all. Where is existence or non-existence? Where is unity or duality? Nothing emanates from me. No more can be said. Where is existence or non-existence? Where is unity or duality? Nothing emanates from me. Nothing more can be said. Such as this is the last verse of the chapter. The only existence—where is existence and non-existence? If I am nothing, can truly something emerge? Can truly there be reality which emerges as an appearance as a byproduct of that which is nothing? So that which emerges then must only be the idea that there is a snake, the idea that there is a 'me.' But actually, there is no 'me.' The idea that there is a 'me' is just an idea, but there just is. The idea that there is ego is a matter of pure thought.

So this is really saying that nothing has ever really happened. May the blessings of the Sage Ashtavakra be with all of us. May his grace be with all of us and we will continue to spread the holy light. This beautiful play, he said, never really happened.