Ashtavakra Gita Ch. 1, Vs. 14-20 Commentary and Contemplation - 4th August 2017

Are you aware now? Who taught you how to be aware? Can you forget how to be aware now? Many new or three things will say, 'But in this awareness I am not.' See, the funniest thing. What are we saying? 'I am aware that even over an assignment what I know that I had that even knowingness are not.' So in that moment when you were not awareness or knowingness, what knew that you are not that? That's just a mind game. Later you forget about these concepts because you haven't experienced the true nature of the self and you want to cling to a fantastic idea of truth that you will discover. You can pick up this idea that 'I am beyond even the self.' Because if it was your experience, you cannot have an experience unless you are aware.

So the sage says, 'Let the knowledge I am awareness alone be the sword that frees you.' Now, 'I am awareness alone' does not mean that we do not experience the presence of consciousness. It only means that even consciousness is made up of the self, is made up of awareness itself. All that is, is awareness itself. Verse 15: You are now and forever free, luminous, transparent, still. The practice of meditation... okay, if you've not meditated, whether you don't hear these words: The practice of meditation keeps one in bondage. You are now and forever free, luminous, transparent, still. The practice of meditation keeps one in bondage.

So let me look at the second part first because those meditators must be getting worried now. So what does this mean, 'the practice of meditation keeps one in bondage'? So often when I get this question that 'Can I continue to meditate?' or 'Is meditation helpful to me?' I usually say yes, of course. It depends on the question. I usually say yes, it is, but the meditator is not helpful to you. Many times it is the practitioner identity which itself becomes so strong that all of this seeking of the self depends on how long I have meditated today or what are the experiences I had in my meditation. You see, what colors of light did I see? Which astral worlds did I travel to? It becomes all about this thing, see? So it becomes another type of game. This like this realm of the game, you can experience everything here also. So then you want to experience other, and that itself becomes identity. So the meditator identity, the practitioner identity, is what the sage is pointing to. Not even this we can be attached to. There is nothing wrong with the meditation itself. The meditation is born again. It is satsang. It is to be in the company of the Satguru, meaning the company of the truth. That is true meditation, isn't it? So it is not meditation which the problem is; it is the idea of being the meditator, the spiritual ego associated with meditation.

Also other struggles can come within. One day meditation, and this I speak from my own experience of the past, one day meditation you can see like it's so steady, not even breath is there. Then you can have an idea that 'Today I will make it even better' and I am already... see what happens when you start meditating? All these thoughts about relationships and money and all of these things were getting more and more frustrated over. Yesterday was so good and all that. So the sage Ramana Maharshi has made it easy for us by giving us a simple inquiry, because in this inquiry you cannot even hold on to the identity of the inquirer. Even that will be squeezed out of you. There is no potential to keep the identity of the practitioner.

So this is the general point, but I want to talk to you because I feel like you can hear it. I want to talk to you about the subtler part, which is: What is it that you are before attention to meditation or the practice of meditation in this moment now? Before you then pick up the idea 'I must meditate' or 'the practice of meditation,' are you not the self? So then the idea of something to do to get somewhere itself is bondage, isn't it? It reinforces the idea again that you are a limited entity that has to do A, B, and C, X, Y, and Z, then you will come to this point which is freedom. What are all the masters saying? They are saying that you are free right now. You don't have to believe this, but the least we can do is check if this is true or not. You say you follow the words of the master; the least we can do is in this moment you check: What is here? Is there something which is bound before you can go to the content of your next thought? Before you can worry about any emotion, feeling, anything to do, what is it that you are empty of all of these concepts?

Before the intention of any guru, what are you here and now? Are you something which is bound by the sensations of your body boundaries? Are you something that is bound by the sensations of the body which might seem to you like they are boundaries of you? Are they not another energetic appearance within your own being, within your own existence? And if you are beyond this, if the body boundary is just another appearance within you, how long will we identify as just this pocket of flesh and blood? That's why the sage said, 'You are now and forever free, luminous, transparent, still.' And I explained the other day that if you keep looking for these attributes—'Let me find the transparent one, the free one, let me find the luminous one'—it will just get confused. So you are not to search for these attributes in that way. You only have to search for yourself, and then as you come to this recognition, see that it is true what he's saying, that what you're finding about yourself is free, luminous, transparent, still. All these pointings are all to be used to check and to inquire into the truth.

What we are finding, like a very beautiful one that the sage said earlier: You are not earth, water, fire, air, and... see the mind, what does it give you? It gives you the picture of some space. 'Okay, I am not earth, water, fire, air, so I must be this space.' So quickly the sage said, 'Even this space you are not.' Now the mind is lost because it cannot define or visualize anything which is beyond space. It will keep giving you different visuals of various types of space, maybe some dark space, maybe some infinite space, maybe some white space, some colorful space. But if you say 'not even space,' then at that moment the question comes to you: Are you going to keep allegiance to this mind as now we come to a point where...

Earth, water, fire, air. So, I must be this face? So quickly, the Saint said, even this place you are not. Now the mind is lost because it cannot define or visualize anything which is beyond space. It will keep giving you different visuals of various types of schools—maybe some dark space, maybe some infinite space, maybe some white space, some colorful space. But if you say, 'Not even space,' then at that moment the question comes to you: are you going to keep allegiance to this mind? Now we come to a point where the mind cannot help you. The mind is going to admit that it will keep trying to visualize, it will keep trying to conceptualize, even if you hang onto the concept that it is beyond the mind. But your looking must go beyond even space.

So, if the mind is giving you a visual of some dark space or some white light or whatever it is, don't worry. Use even that and ask yourself: who is aware of this? Does that have a color? This is transparent; that's what it means. Sometimes in the translation, the words can seem a bit confusing. Does that which is the witness of all things, does that itself have a color? And that one is which one? It is you. So you don't have color, size, shape, age. Then what must you be? You are just this awareness which is not an object. Therefore, you cannot find yourself objectively. You are pure consciousness, the substance of the universe. The universe exists within you. Don't be small-minded.

You are pure consciousness, the substance of the universe. The universe exists within you. Don't be small-minded. What is the meaning? You are the substance of the universe, literally. It is that in the sense that the universe is made up of you. Just like the dream is made up of what? Your own consciousness. You would be willing to accept that about the dream state, but you feel like there is something special about this waking state. But this exact same moment, this exact same thing would be happening in a dream tonight also, where you find that the potential within you, within consciousness, to project all this movement is there.

And if these insights seem too alien to you and they cause frustration, then forget about it. Forget about it. Don't force yourself to recognize that you are the substance of the universe. You just keep finding out who you are. Let these insights be the byproducts. Sometimes the truths which are meant to help, sometimes they shall become the obstacles. That's what to do. If anything feels too confusing, too far out, too radical, you cannot relate to it—just leave it. Don't bother with the inquiry. Your mind, the insight about your truth, that will dawn upon finding the Self.

Have you noticed that every master still has a different report about the phenomenal world? You see, that is the play of this phenomenon. Every aspect of consciousness is experiencing it differently. So don't try to get consistency about phenomenal appearances. But one thing you will find consistently with those who come to the truth of their Self is that 'I am this unchanging, witnessing, unborn Self which is beyond the realms of both life and death.' You are beyond the states of waking, dream, sleep, Turiya. Somebody asked about Samadhi, so he is speaking beyond that. Leave these states alone.

Too much trouble, too much struggle. It's the trouble and struggle which is the part of the play of consciousness, trying to—knowing fully well that it has created this unlimited expression—and then noticing all these aspects of itself trying to give some consistency to the phenomenal appearance. There is none. In the truth of what you are, there we can meet as one.

Yeah, I should explain the term 'don't be small-minded' because traditionally in Vedanta also, they've defined it like 'big mind' and so on. So even consciousness, consciousness itself is defined as the big mind. So when people say, 'Everything is mind, everything is mind, all the appearances are mind,' what is he talking about? This is because terminology can become confusing. Then people get confused that this is some solipsism, something like that. It is not that. They are talking about consciousness itself being the big mind.

Actually, I remember many years ago, before—long before I met Guruji—I met another very sweet master, Om Veda Brahmanandaji. I talked to him, and at that time I was reading a lot of this, you know, I don't know how many of you heard of Seth? 'Seth Speaks.' So I went to him and I felt like I had very fancy questions. I said to him, 'If I am creating this realm, then why can't I decide to create like a palace for myself and unlimited wealth?' I asked him like that. And he said to me very simply, not impressed with my question at all, he said, 'You are confusing the big mind and this small mind.' And I didn't understand the answer at all at that point.

Because it is this consciousness which is the projecting light, which is the screen, which is the actor, producer, director, everything of this world appearance. And somewhere, at many places in Vedanta, even that is referred to as mind. At least in some translations, that is referred to as mind. That can cause confusion. Many times you will see quotes from even Bhagwan or Maharaj; they say, 'Everything is a projection of your mind.' And then at other times, Bhagwan will say, 'Oh, the mind is only a bundle of thoughts.' Is it so? Because in translations and terminology, this confusion can happen.

So, what is the smaller mind? It is this mind that we speak of as the mind which is the voice of your limitation, the voice of your individuality, that voice which seems to be within our heads which is convincing you that you are a separate entity. So when the Saint Ashtavakra is saying, 'Don't be small-minded,' this is what he means. Same thing as what he said earlier: don't be a person. Don't pretend to believe something limits you. You are unconditional, changeless, formless.

Now, you see, these are very important things. When you hear it, it can seem like he's just like on a roll, he's saying all beautiful things. But every word is very beautiful. How many of us are trying to get rid of our conditioning? Don't have to raise your hand, just look. How many of us are trying to get over our tendencies and our conditioning? What is he saying? You are unconditioned. So which voice are you going to believe? The voice which is saying, 'You must get over your conditioning, you must do this and this and get over your greed and your lust and your need for money and power,' or are you going to believe this one where he is saying, 'You are unconditioned'?

What is your experience right now? This is what I do almost every day. I ask you: before you think about it, are you conditional or unconditional? The concept—it is impossible to have a condition without a concept. Right now, you're empty as a baby. You're empty in this moment till you pick up the thought. He does something, now my idea, which becomes a condition. They were saying is to be. Now, the bad news with one condition is that not only that condition comes, the whole seeming identity of the person seems to come. It never really comes, but it seems to come. That all my history, all my stories, all my beliefs about myself, they seem to appear. Just pick up one leaf from this play, and the whole tree appearance, the whole identity seems to be present here.

But the good news is what Ashtavakra is telling us: you are unconditional. I like to say that you have the services of the best cleaning lady or best cleaning man in the world. Who is this one? It is consciousness itself. In this moment, all the cleanup has happened. So even the prior conditioning, you can pick up only now, or you can leave it only now. That's why Bhagwan said, isn't it? If you feel like you have a choice, make the choice not to go along with what your thoughts are saying.

So, as I repeated for two years non-stop, maybe just don't go next. Why? Because the Self is already here. The unconditional being, your unassociated consciousness, is your starting point. We have never left the destination. And this one will become your insight if you leave the past aside, if you forget about the projections of the future for just one moment, and you don't infer or judge anything that appears in this moment. Everyone do this with me. And the power to do this is here with you. Don't go by an idea that you are not able to do this now.

Keep the past aside. All thoughts which are coming about the past, let them come and go. Future also, don't be concerned about it. Let it be whatever is here and now. No inference, no judgment. Just remain with your inner vision. Inside, you will find that effortlessly you exist. Future or no future, past or no past, you exist. And you will find that you are aware of your existence. Don't grasp at anything. Don't push anything aside. Don't worry about any sensation that might be coming up. Don't interpret it. Don't judge it. It means what? Let their interpretations and judgments come and go. It doesn't mean you have to resist anything. You exist effortlessly. Your identity is dependent on your thoughts; your existence is independent of them. The meaning that the mind might be throwing at you, don't be concerned with it. Just check with this.

Imagine that you have a basket. Everything that is changing, we are going to put into that basket. So this world which we are perceiving goes into the basket. The body with its sensations and visuals goes into the basket. All our thoughts, imaginations, memories go into the basket. All the emotional sensations, pain and pleasure, all go into the basket. I witness even my presence; I am aware of my existence. So even that goes into the basket. I, who am aware of the basket—at which point did you go into the basket? Do you remain without any attribute, without any quality? You are unconditional, changeless, formless. You are solid, unfathomable, cool.

What does it mean, 'cool'? This means I'm totally unconcerned with the movement of this phenomenal world. Why does the Saint say the word 'solid' while at the same time saying that you have no quality? Solid here must imply that this is a valid experience of the Self. It is not just some airy-fairy story. So this unconditional, changeless, always you are solid, unfathomable, cool, desire nothing, you are consciousness. So put the second one first: if you are consciousness, I am already all there is. I am that I am. What desire can I have?

That which has form is not real. Only the formless is permanent. Once this is known, you will not return to illusion. That which has form is not real. It doesn't mean it is not appearing. Forms are appearing, but appearing is what? As appearances. That's why right in the beginning, we can find reality means that which is unchanging. And he clarifies that also in the next segment: that which has form is not real, only the formless is permanent. Once this is known, we will not return to illusion.

Just as a mirror exists both within and without the image reflected, the supreme Self exists both within and without the body. See a reflection in the mirror. The rest of the reflection in the mirror is the reflection itself; it is also in the mirror. Same way, the supreme Self is the substratum of this appearance of the world, but it is not contained by it. You are that large—not large in a phenomenal way—you are that great, that magnificent, that nothing can contain you. Not this universe, at least for sure.

So another definition of satsang that I like, which is a bit crazy, my style, is: besides the company of the truth of existence, satsang is a voyage outside this universe. You don't have to climb into a spaceship. You don't have to buy a ticket to anything. But when you find yourself, you find that which is beyond this universe of time and space, beyond any limitation of name and form. People are paying millions of dollars for this space mission, and there is no guarantee that it will succeed or they'll actually ever come back. See, to experience being out of this earth. But being in satsang, in one moment of clarity, what earth? You are out of this universe. There is no greater discovery than discovering the Self.

Just as the same space exists both within and without the jar, the timeless, all-pervasive One exists as totality.

Imitation of name-and-form. People are paying millions of dollars for this space mission and there is no guarantee that it will succeed or they'll actually ever come back, you see, this to experience being out of this earth. But being in satsang, in one moment of clarity, what earth? You are out of this universe. There is no greater discovery than discovering the Self. This is the same space. Just as the same space exists both within and without the jar, the timeless, all-pervasive one. This as totality. This one is very clean. We talked about this and you are the substratum and all that appears is appearing in the space within you. This light, this space, is the substratum of this phenomenal world. All objects, including a jar, are appearing within it. And in this way, what is outside and inside the jar is the same. No separation has happened in space. In this same way, no separation has happened in your existence, in your being. So, this is the end of Chapter 1.