Are You Who You Think You Are? - 12 July 2016

You know, a stubborn insistence to continue to be the seeker comes from this sense that it's so difficult to admit that I messed up. What does it mean? This fury to admit that I was wrong makes us want to defend the indefensible because we have invested so much in the idea that I exist as a person. Our whole life has been about this. We have one, no, you see... so let me take the cat example, which I haven't taken for quite some time.

Suppose when you were born, you were born into a world which had no mirrors, so you couldn't check what you look like. But everyone said that you're a cat. Everyone said you're a cat. And then you had your own thoughts which are also saying that you're a cat. Everyone saying that you have to become a good cat. You can become a good cat by doing these things: making money, getting good relationships, taking care of the body, and then being in some social service or some... all these different things. So all of these have been shown to you as bowls of milk. Do this and then you'll be happy. Do this and then you'll be happy.

But have we found that happiness in anything which is material? Most of us haven't. It gives us some temporary sense of happiness which comes only from the sense of release from a desire. Say, 'I wish I had this money, then I'd be really happy.' We get that money and instantly something feels good. What is happening is that that knot of the desire is opening up, so you feel the sense of space. But the lasting happiness which you were promised is not found in anything which is material. So in between, going from one bowl of milk to another—from money into relationship, to children, to family, to taking care of the body—then one day you meet someone who says, 'Enough. This won't work. You must find the ultimate bowl of milk,' which is what? Freedom, Nirvana, Liberation, Enlightenment, whatever term you use. You go get that bowl of milk and then you will be just happy and in bliss all the time. This was the promise.

Most people, I don't know what they told you... suppose you come to Satsang with the promise that 'I will get freedom, the final bowl of milk.' The immortal nectar is what has been promised. But instead of that, when you come to Satsang, especially Satsang like this, you are shown a mirror. Or you're invited, actually, to see the mirror. And you're on this bowl of milk for the cat, but look at the mirror and show me whether you find the cat at all. So we've been told by a Jiva that 'I am a person, I must be this type of person, that type of person,' and ultimately the best way to live our life as a person is to find liberation. But when we come to Satsang, we are invited to check: Am I a cat in the first place?

So there is no freedom for the cat; the cat doesn't exist. There is no freedom for the person because the person doesn't exist. But what happens if you had no investment in the person idea? If you didn't care about it, then this would not cause so much resistance. You say, 'I'm willing to look.' I look. Yes, I don't find the person. I find a body, but the body is not interested in the money in the bank, the future of this life; it doesn't care about any of this. I find that there is nobody here who's interested or concerned with any of that. I see this and finish. These thoughts still come, they try to convince me that I'm a person, but I see there is no such thing, so I just laugh at it. It should just be like this.