Antarmukhi Sada Sukhi - Inward Facing, Always Happy

Now, really look at your life over the past, let's say, one week, two weeks, a month, and notice. Either you live beautifully in God's presence, in the heavenly light of God, even if you cannot report that you taste clearly yet, to face Him is to live in peace. It is not said... the sages have not said 'inward-facing, meeting God's presence, and then always happy.' They just said 'Antarmukhi Sada Sukhi'—inward-facing, always happy. Is it? That means that whether we can say that we can see His unperceivable light in our heart altar or not, we are already free from suffering.

So, over the past few days, I noticed a bit of contradiction in many reports that I'm getting from all of you, where your idea is that you're praying all the time and yet you seem to be suffering. Now, either the sages were wrong about 'Antarmukhi Sada Sukhi'—inward-facing, always happy—or there is a contradiction somewhere in your report. And I don't worry about that; you can report anything. But the point is that this may be a blind spot which you are not seeing for yourself. Maybe a blind spot which is hiding behind something, not letting you see. Yeah? So, this blind spot could be anything. The blind spot could be, 'Yes, I am praying all the time,' which is conceptual, you see? It could be a conceptual idea. So, that could be a blind spot which is preventing you from turning inwards by creating narratives, making you buy into the notion of 'always inward-facing.' Or it could be that, 'Yes, yes, all that is fine, but I want to be right about this.' So, it could be this idea of being right, as if that being right will get you a trophy or will get you something. In a way, that wanting to be right is pride. And where is it all going to lead? It's all going to lead to nothingness and death.

And there could be other ideas that, 'But I need to turn outwards to do work, how to have relationships, how to take care of the body, or even to be spiritual, to talk spiritual things with my friends, I need to go become outward-facing.' None of that is true. There is no reason to be outward-facing when we can always be inward-facing. There is never a good enough reason to change that perspective. Now, does this mean that I'm saying that I'm always inward-facing? No, of course not, because I get tempted by, I get trapped by Maya from time to time. But at least to recognize that is very important. So, can I report to all of you that I'm praying all the time? I can't. That's why I wonder sometimes how you are able to do it, and I'm very, very happy with that. Of course, I'm very happy if it is true, you see? But then the contradiction of praying and suffering at the same time is not possible.

Another way—sorry, just something that is just coming strongly to say, so I'll just say them and then we can talk more—but another way to be in unceasing prayer is to just follow His will, you see? So, what happens is that you pray and then you come to a place of a full allowing where you're following His will. But you could also determine for yourself that, 'I will only follow His will,' and then you come to the place of prayer. So, it all comes to the same place, you see? So, this following His will, to sacrifice your own idea of what you want and what you want to do and allow His light to unfold through you, is another way of constantly being in unceasing prayer. But for this, you have to be really empty, to be really empty.

Which one can't... so...

I'll just repeat what he said also. Yeah, so I'll just make that point again which he said. He said that to check whether I'm praying all the time is really good, because otherwise I was building an idea that I'm just open and empty all the time. And we've talked about this often, that if we can be open and empty all the time, which is that I can just float in space, then walking should be really easy, and walking supported by the earth should be really easy. In the same way, if you're just able to be empty all the time, then to use the support, the crutches of the prayer, then should be exceptionally straightforward. But when we tried to do it, many of us found that actually we were just thinking that we are empty all the time, but actually we realize that there's so many thought patterns which we buy in the middle of our prayer itself. And because we notice that it is not 'Ram Ram' going on, it is something else, then it puts more light onto that, you see?

So, just... I was going to illustrate that a bit more. Of course, to be empty is to live in the 'Cloud of Unknowing.' It is a very, very high prayer, so there's nothing at all wrong with it, but we have to really check on it for ourselves. Suppose that you were given by your teacher a practice to chant 'Ram' all the time. So, you're saying 'Ram, Ram, Ram,' then the thought comes, 'Okay, what's for dinner?' Then you notice the break in flow most darkly. Maybe not necessarily in the first thought, but soon enough you will notice it. So, it's quite easy to notice what breaks the pattern of our prayer. But when we just determine—and it is very good to be empty—but maybe it is not as easy. When we say, 'Okay, we'll be just empty,' this is empty... then thought comes, 'Maybe it'll be good to get some chutney.' Because you're comparing it to empty space, that distinction may not be fully clear yet, in the sense that you don't notice fully that it is breaking the pattern of your japa.

We obviously notice our foolishness. We obviously notice the times where we follow our own will instead of staying with God's will. Now, what do we do with that? That is really important, you see? So, we notice the foolishness, therefore we are repentant about what we have done. But what to do with that repentance? If you bring it to God, then in His love, He converts that into a deeper love, a deeper humility, a deeper faith. But if we give this to our mind, then the mind converts it into a despair, a despondency, which is more 'mindy,' and then in that we are committing more foolishness. Is it not? I'm not saying you're doing that; I'm just saying that when we come across something like that, and as we deepen in our prayer more and more, the things which we've been selfish about, the things that we have wanted our own way about, get revealed to us, you see? But they get revealed not so that we can get caught up in the mind more and more; they only get revealed so that we can offer them up to God in the temple of our heart. We can look at them in our inquiry and be free from that condition.

So, that is why that beautiful prayer—I used it at the end of Satsang the other day—'Open to me the gates of repentance.' It can sound like a very strange prayer, you see? Because repentance sounds like suffering. Who wants to open the gates to suffering? Saying to God, 'Open the gates to suffering for me.' This repentance is not that. This repentance means that my blind spots are coming into view and they're being surrendered to God, and we're getting free of them. Otherwise, if you feel like, 'Oh, I'm always in God's will, I'm never stuck in Maya, I'm always praying, I'm always empty, I'm always inquiring,' I have nothing to be repentant about. Why are we asking God for His mercy? 'I don't need mercy.' So, when these things start being shown to us, we realize that like Hanuman Prasad Poddar Ji said, quoting... saying that we are so lucky that God is Kripalu and not just... what is the word for just? For justice... so He is merciful and He is not doing justice. Because if He was to do justice, then there is so much foolishness here that He could judge. So, we pray for His mercy. And those who cannot pray for His mercy feel like they have no foolishness in their life, you see? Either they have not understood the project or they must be some really great sages.